10.10.07

Yes, I really Hate Indiana Jones

There are many, many, many reasons to hate the film 'Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull'. Arranged below you'll find a lot of them. Certainly not all. But a lot.

Day 1: Indiana Jones and the Superfluous Sidekick

Day 2: Indiana Jones and the Oddly Familiar Character
Day 3: Indiana Jones and the Disrespect for the Dead
Day 4: Indiana Jones and the Over-respect for the Living
Day 5: Indiana Jones and the Curious Gophers
Day 6: Indiana Jones and the Unrelated Opening

Day 7: Indiana Jones and the (far too) Lucky Escape
Day 8: Indiana Jones and the Way-Too-Cute Callback
Day 9: Indiana Jones and the Insecure Government Facility
Day 10: Indiana Jones and the Two-Dimensional World
Day 11: Indiana Jones and the Anachronistic Dialogue
Day 12: Indiana Jones and the Atomic Fridge
Day 13: Indiana Jones and the All-Star Cast
Day 14: Indiana Jones and the Happy Days
Day 15: Indiana Jones and the Botched Villain Introduction
Day 16: Indiana Jones and the Possible Psychic
Day 17: Indiana Jones and the Maybe Magnetic Skull
Day 18: Indiana Jones and the Incredibly Cheap Prop
Day 19: Indiana Jones and the Superfluous Sidekick (Part 2)
Day 20: Indiana Jones and the Underestimated Audience
Day 21: Indiana Jones and the Paved Jungle
Day 22: Indiana Jones and the Contrabulous Fabtraption
Day 23: Indiana Jones and the Poorly-Composited Image
Day 24: Indiana Jones and the Extremely Personal Injury
Day 25: Indiana Jones and the Awkwardly Foreshadowed Ability
Day 26: Indiana Jones and the Unforeshadowable Ability
Day 27: Indiana Jones and the King of the Monkeys
Day 28: Indiana Jones and the Non-Sense of Location
Day 29: Indiana Jones and the (Far-Too) Lucky Escape (Part 2)
Day 30: Indiana Jones and the Pointless Betrayal
Day 31: Indiana Jones and the Russian Stand-Off
Day 32: Indiana Jones and the Not-So-Hidden Valley
Day 33: Indiana Jones and the Redundant Revelation
Day 34: Indiana Jones and the Uninformative Map
Day 35: Indiana Jones and the Unmotivated Natives
Day 36: Indiana Jones and the Inexplicable Attackers
Day 37: Indiana Jones and the Off-Camera Action
Day 38: Indiana Jones and the Blase Secondary Protagonist
Day 39: Indiana Jones and the Pathetic Trap
Day 40: Indiana Jones and the Idiotic Archaeologist
Day 41: Indiana Jones and the Idiotic Archaeologist Part Two
Day 42: Indiana Jones and the Idiotic Archaeologist Part Three
Day 43: Indiana Jones and the Idiotic Archaeologist Part Four
Day 44: Indiana Jones and the Idiotic Archaeologist Part Five
Day 45: Indiana Jones and the Absence of a Good Henchman
Day 46: Indiana Jones and the Shamed Name
Day 47: Indiana Jones and the Deja Kung Fu
Day 48: Indiana Jones and the Midnight Rocket Train
Day 49: Indiana Jones and the Lack of Scope
Day 50: Indiana Jones and the Freudian Interpretation
Day 51: Indiana Jones and the Useless Motorcycle
Day 52: Indiana Jones and the Useless Whip
Day 53: Indiana Jones and the (far too) Lucky Escape (Part 3)
Day 54: Indiana Jones and the One Tin Soldier
Day 55: Indiana Jones and the Failure to Raise the Stakes
Day 56: Indiana Jones and the Scary Reds
Day 57: Indiana Jones and the Magical Waterspout
Day 58: Indiana Jones and the Reason They Invented Seatbelts
Day 59: Indiana Jones and the Hole-y Plot (Part 1)
Day 60: Indiana Jones and the Hole-y Plot (Part 2)
Day 61: Indiana Jones and the Hole-y Plot (Part 3)

Tales From the Darkside!

Please, join me on a journey back through the history of Television horror-anthologies as I search for the episode that terrified me more than any other half-hour of television ever!

Intro

Season 1-

1 - The New Man
2 - I'll Give You a Million!
3 - Pain Killer
4 - The Odds
5 - Mookie and Pookie

CSI: Miami Is The Worst-Written Show On Television

That's right. I never miss CSI:Miami. Because it's hilarious. But if you don't want to put yourself through the pain of actually turning it on, I've gone to the trouble of reviewing it for you. You're welcome.

Intro to CSI:Miami
False Accusation Theatre!

Season 6

Episode 20
Episode 24

Season 7

Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3
Episode 5
Episode 7
Episode 9
Episode 11
Episode 13
Episode 14
Episode 15
Episode 16
Episode 17
Episode 18
Episode 19
Episode 20
Episode 21
Episode 22
Episode 23
Episode 24
Episode 25

Season 8

Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3
Episode 4
Episode 5
Episode 6
The CSI Trilogy - Miami, New York, Las Vegas
Episode 8
Episode 9

Criminal Minds Wants You To Know That Profiling Is Useless

Here you'll find my reviews of the show Criminal Minds, as well as its sister show Criminal Minds: Suspect Behavior, taking a look at the writing in general, and their treatment of 'profiling' in particular. You can also find my 'FactCheck' articles, where we take a look at the real-life serial killers that the episodes are based on!

Also, if you'd like to get a look at an interactive map of the country showing where all the episodes are set (from season 3 onwards), just check out Penelope's Murder Map!

Curious about who Greg is? Click Here!

Season 1

1 - Extreme Aggressor (FactCheck)
2 - Compulsion
3 - Won't Get Fooled Again
4 - Plain Sight
5 - Broken Mirror
6 - LDSK
7 - The Fox
8 - Natural Born Killer (FactCheck)
9 - Derailed
10 - The Popular Kids
11 - Blood Hungry
12 - What Fresh Hell
13 - Poison
14 - Riding the Lightning
15 - Unfinished Business
16 - The Tribe
17 - A Real Rain
18 - Somebody's Watching
19 - Machismo
20 - Charm and Harm
21 - Secrets and Lies
22 - The Fisher King Part 1
Season 1 Retrospective

Season 2

1 - The Fisher King Part 2
2 - P911
3 - The Perfect Storm
4 - PsychoDrama
5 - Aftermath
6 - The Boogeyman
7 - North Mammon
8 - Empty Planet
9 - The Last Word
10 - Lessons Learned
11 - Sex, Birth, Death
12 - Profiler, Profiled
13 - No Way Out: Part 1
14 - The Big Game
15 - Revelations
16 - Fear and Loathing
17 - Distress
18 - Jones
19 - Ashes and Dust
20 - Honor Among Thieves
21 - Open Season
22 - Legacy
23 - No Way Out: Part 2: The Evilution of Frank
Season 2 Retrospective

Season 3

1 - Doubt
2 - In Birth and Death
3 - Scared to Death
4 - Children of the Dark
5 - Seven Seconds
6 - About Face
7 - Identity
8 - Lucky
9 - Penelope
10 - True Night
11 - Birthright
12 - 3rd Life
13 - Limelight
14 - Damaged
15 - A Higher Power
16 - Elephant`s Memory
17 - In Heat
18 - The Crossing
19 - Tabula Rasa
20 - Lo-Fi
Season 3 Retrospective!

Season 4

1 - Mayhem
11 - Normal
13 - Bloodline
18 - Omnivore
23 - Roadkill

Season 6

1 - The Longest Night
2 - JJ
3 - Remembrance of Things Past
4 - Compromising Positions
5 - Safe Haven
6 - Devil's Night
7 - Middle Man
8 - Reflection of Desire
9 - Into the Woods
10 - What Happens at Home...
11 - 25 to Life
12 - Corazon
13 - The Thirteenth Step
14 - Sense Memory
15 - Today I Do
16 - Coda
17 - Valhalla
18 - Lauren
19 - With Friends Like These
20 - Hanley Waters
21 - The Stranger
22 - Out of the Light
23 - Big Sea
24 - Supply and Demand
Season 6 Retrospective

Season 7

1 - It Takes a Village
2 - Proof
3 - Dorado Falls
4 - Painless
5 - From Childhood's Hour
6 - Epilogue
7 - There's No Place Like Home
8 - Hope
9 - Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
10 - The Bittersweet Science
11 - True Genius
12 - Unknown Subject
13 - Snake Eyes
14 - Closing Time
15 - A Thin Line
16 - A Family Affair
17 - I Love You, Tommy Brown(!)
18 - Foundation
19 - Heathridge Manor
20 - The Company
21 - Diving Rod
22 - Profiling 101
23 - Hit
24 - Run
Season 7 Retrospective

Season 8

1 - The Silencer
2 - The Pact
3 - Through The Looking Glass
4 - God Complex
5 - The Good Earth
6 - The Apprenticeship
7 - The Fallen
8 - The Wheels on the Bus
9 - Magnificent Light
10 - The Lesson
11 - Perennials
12 - Zugzwang
13 - Magnum Opus
14 - All That Remains
15 - Broken
16 - Carbon Copy
17 - The Gathering
18 - Restoration
19 - Pay It Forward
20 - Alchemy
21 - Nanny Dearest
22 - #6
23 - Brothers Hotchner
24 -The Replicator
Season 8 Retrospective

Criminal Minds: Suspect Behaviour

1.2.07

How to Ruin Your Own Movie!

From time to time, filmmakers decide, for one reason or another, to do everything possible to undercut any chance of their film being effective.

Here are some examples of these self-destructive creative endeavors.

Home Movie
P2
Red Sands
Shocker
The Strangers
Twilight
The X-Files: I Want to Believe

Reviews!

Please enjoy some reviews, arranged here in alphabetical order, and separated by medium! Feature-length reviews are noted with an (FL). When a movie is discussed in an episode of TheAvod, it will be noted with an (AVOD) - simply click on it to be taken to that episode.

Films!
13 Hours in a Warehouse
909 Experiment (AVOD)
Alien Raiders
Alive Or Dead
Anamorph
A Nightmare on Elm Street (Series) (AVOD)
A Nightmare on Elm Street (2009) - (Livenoting) (AVOD)
April Fool's Day (2008) (AVOD)
Autopsy (AVOD)
Babysitter Wanted (AVOD)
Blood and Bone (AVOD)
Blood and Sex Nightmare (AVOD)
Boogeyman 1, 2, 3, (AVOD)
Book of Blood (AVOD)
The Call of Cthulhu (AVOD)
The Cell 2
Cloverfield
The Collector (AVOD)
The Dark Knight
Deadwood Hills
Death Race 2000 (AVOD)
Death Race 2008 (FL)
The Devil's Chair (AVOD)
Eagle Eye (AVOD)
Escape From LA (AVOD)
Das Experiment (AVOD)
Fighting (AVOD)
The Final (AVOD)
Final Destination (FL)
Final Destination 2 (FL)
Final Destination 3 (FL)
Final Destination 4: The Final Destination (FL)
The Fog (AVOD)
Friday the 13th Parts 1-11 (AVOD)
Friday the 13th (2009) (AVOD)
The Graves
Halloween (AVOD)
Hatchet (AVOD)
Home Movie (AVOD)
House of the Devil (AVOD)
Inside (FL)
Joy Ride 2
Jumper (AVOD)
Kiss of the Vampire/Eternally Yours
Lake Mungo (AVOD)
Mask of the Phantasm (AVOD)
Near Dark (AVOD)
Night Train
Ninja Assassin (AVOD)
The Poker Club
The Poughkeepsie Tapes (AVOD)
Prince of Darkness (AVOD)
Punisher: War Zone (AVOD)
Ressurection (AVOD)
Rest Stop 2 (AVOD)
Rollerball (AVOD)
Saw 1-6 (FL) (AVOD)
Scanners (AVOD)
Serenity (AVOD)
Sharpshooter
Shocker
Skinwalkers (AVOD)
Smash Cut (AVOD)
Speed Racer
Spiral (AVOD)
Strange Days (AVOD)
The Strangers (A Four-Part attempt to watch the film!) 1 - 2 - 3 - 4
Sukiyaki Western Django (AVOD)
Twilight (AVOD)
The Unborn (AVOD)
Watchmen (AVOD)
When a Stranger Calls (AVOD)
Who Can Kill a Child? (AVOD)
Wolverine (AVOD)
Wrong Turn 3 (FL) (AVOD)


Comics!
Batman is not good at maintaining a secret identity
Dusk (FL)
Friday the 13th (FL) Part: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6
Mr. Tawny Battles the KKK!
M. Night Shyamalan Rips Off Captain Marvel!
Tom Mix has a complicated relationship with violence!

Television!
Being Human (AVOD)
Californication
Darkplace (AVOD)
Dead Set (AVOD)
Durham County
Jekyll (AVOD)
Medium Undercuts the Whole Point of the Show
Medium Rips Off Criminal Minds
Medium and Numb(three)ers have Questionable Morals
Mythbusters