6.1.09

In Re: The Strangers

Tonight, something wondrous happened - for the first time in my life, I quit watching a movie for the second time. As someone who'll watch just about anything, giving up on a movie is odd enough, but twice is just unheard of.

So just how bad is 'The Strangers"? Well, about halfway through there's a scene where a friend of the main characters drops by the cabin to pick up his friend (if you'll recall, based on my prediction, there was a rejected proposal in the offing, and the man of the pair felt it might be too awkward for he and his would-be fiancee to drive back into town together, so he called for a ride), and as he's sitting in his car outside the cabin, making a phone call, one of the 'Strangers' throws a brick through the front window of his car in what can only be described as an 'attempted murder'.

What does this character, one 'David', do? Does he call the police on the cell phone he's holding in his hand? Does he duck down, put the car in reverse and then drive away as quickly as possible as before calling the police?

No. He gets out of the car and looks around, puzzled, wondering where the shot could have come from. Then, at a pace that can charitably be described as 'meandering', he walks to the utterly shattered front door of the cabin and lets himself in.

Just to be clear - he's out in the middle of nowhere and someone just tried to kill him by throwing a brick at his head, and he has a cell phone in his hand. And he in no way calls the GOD-DAMNED POLICE.

Walking up to the doorway, he calls out his friends' names once, then proceeds to creep slowly through the house, observing the way it's been utterly torn apart while a country and western song plays on the Victrola.

Again, I'm going to reiterate the situation so anyone who hasn't seen the film can understand just how utterly insane it is. This man has come to pick up a friend at 5AM. When he arrived at the man's cabin, someone tried to kill him with a brick. Then, presumably because he was more worried about his friends than his own self-preservation, he decided to walk inside the cabin. Finding it torn apart, he then didn't start loudly screaming out his friends' names, hoping that their answer would A) prove them to still be alive, and B) lead him to them so he could help them more quickly.

No, he just walks silently into the house. Why on earth would he do that? Is he hoping someone won't hear him? Is he hiding from someone? That can't be the case, since the someone he'd been hiding from JUST TRIED TO KILL HIM WITH A BRICK!

Anyone who's glanced at my open letter to the makers of the film Inside can probably guess why he's uncannily silent walking down the hallway - that's right, it's so James (the male of the main characters) can accidentally shoot his friend with the shotgun he was aiming at the doorway of the closet he was hiding in.

Just as with Inside, it was at this point I just announced FUCK THIS FILM. Only unlike Inside, this time I actually turned it off.

That being said, I've already gone back to this movie once, and who knows, I may finish it at some point in the future.

It won't be tonight, though.

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