The Ultimate Method of Dealing With Vampires

Kiss of the Vampire, or "Immortally Yours", depending on which title you prefer, is a recent direct-to-video film that acts as sort of a bizarro-world version of Twilight. Instead of the story of a human woman who falls obsessively in love with a vampire, leading to her wanting to become a vampire, and then nothing happens, it's the story of a vampire who falls obsessively in love with a human woman, leading to him wanting to become human, and then far too much happens.

A vanity project from actress/writer Katherine Hawkes, who plays the lead object of vampire love, Immortally Yours tells the story of (and I'm going to see how briefly I can cover this) a vampire who sees a woman at the opera and falls in love with her, but her father is a scientist working for the Illuminati on a way to grant them immortality, which mostly involves Costas Mandylor running around kidnapping people so their matching organs can be harvested, attracting the attention of a pair of cops, one of whom is a conspiracy theorist, who obtain the assistance of a European vampire hunter with a tragic past follow the trail of corpses to the pack of vampires that the main vampire leads, who are all killed in a bloody battle, which leads to the main vampire being blackmailed by the illuminati to make them all into immortal vampires, or they'll kill the woman's father, who has found the cure for vampirism that the main character seeks.

Also Martin Kove and a dwarf are there for some reason.

Yeah, that's all one movie. There are too many plot points, too many characters who look much too similae, a huge amount of padding, and a glacial pace, as you'll see in the clip below... it's pretty much a mess. But it's a mess with one hugely redeeming factor: the manner in which the main vampire deals with the threat posed by the newly-vampirized illuminati. If you'd like to discover an entirely new way of permanently getting rid of the undead, just watch the video included below (warning - extremely spoilery).

Man, I could watch them snarling all day, couldn't you?

After that happens the main vampire is free to be cured of his affliction, so that he and the woman can be together for, well, considerably shorter than the similar coupling in Twilight.

Happy Remembrance Day, everybody!

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