8.10.08

I Hate Indiana Jones: Day 42

Day 42 Indiana Jones and the Idiotic Archaeologist Part Three

Today the idiocy moves out of the jungle and into a malt shoppe, in an earlier scene as Mutt Williams tries to explain to Indiana Jones just why his help was needed to save the day. In trying to ascertain just how he knew Shia Laboeuf's mother, Harrison discovers that her name was "Mary". He then opines that he's 'known' such an incredibly large number of women that just the name Mary isn't in the least bit helpful.

This raises the question of exactly why Indiana Jones would have said that at all. In addition to making it seem like he's bragging about all of the tail he's scored over the years, it's an incredibly dickish thing to say in front of the woman's son. It essentially implies that Indiana Jones is a man of such loose morals and low character that his mother would have had to been a huge tramp to spend any time at all with him back in the day.

Not only is it idiotic for Indy to have made this huge faux pas, but then he proceeds to follow up by not asking the only logical question that any normal human in that situation would ask: The mother's maiden name. Here's a piece of information that Harrison needs, and Shia Laboeuf definitely has, yet he doesn't ask for it.

Of course even if Indiana Jones didn't ask that incredibly obvious question, simple reasoning skills should have allowed him to figure out just who Shia Laboeuf's mother was. Here are the facts as presented to Indiana Jones:

1 - Mutt Williams' mother is named Mary.
2 - His father was a British pilot named Williams, who died in the war.
3 - His mother "Mary" is very good friends with Harold Oxley.
4 - Harold Oxely knows Indiana Jones because they both studied under Abner Ravenwood.
5 - Whose daughter, "Marion", had been romantically involved with Harrison before-
6 - Indiana Jones abandoned her in England soon after introducing her to a British pilot named Williams.

With all of these facts running through his head how could Indiana Jones have not known who Shia Laboeuf's mother was? The only way the filmmakers could keep the secret going is by making Indiana Jones look like an absolute moron. Then consider the fact that during one of this film's frequent attempts to edit over plot holes Harrison Ford and Shia Laboeuf spend at the least a full day traveling together in cramped quarters, we're left wondering what they talked about all that time. It never occurred to anyone to talk about Indiana Jones' background or Shia Laboeuf's family history?

The worst part of all of this is that the filmmakers seem to think it was important to keep this information a secret at all. What do they think they're gaining by keeping the viewers in the dark about Laboeuf's lineage? The big twist of a movie is that Mutt Williams is Indiana Jones' son, not the identity of his mother. Even if the audience were flat out told that Marion Ravenwood was Shia Laboeuf's mother, that's still no reason for them to assume that Indiana Jones is the father. Of course, anyone who's ever seen a film would likely jump to that confusion. More importantly though, the fact that Mutt Williams is Harrison Ford's son is something that everyone in the audience guessed the second that it was announced that the film featured Indiana Jones with a kid sidekick who was not Asian.

So in an attempt to prop up a patently obvious surprise, the filmmakers yet again made Indiana Jones look like one of the stupidest people on the planet, at a time when they should have been assuaging fears of Harrison Ford's viability as an aging action movie star by making the character look both brilliant and physically competent in every way. Good job again, filmmakers.

1 comment:

Indiana Jones costume said...

I lol'ed @ the side kick that's not Asian comment.