tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-91148082464595380902024-03-19T03:19:44.292-04:00Castle VardulonWrite Harder.Vardulonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17821844774999740966noreply@blogger.comBlogger1378125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9114808246459538090.post-25358834477365779732023-01-15T15:38:00.006-05:002023-01-15T15:38:49.462-05:00Criminal Minds 1606 – True Conviction<p>We’re back for the second half of season sixteen – now for
the real question: are they going to let us know what happened with the
explosion immediately, or jerk us around a while first? Let’s find out by
pressing play on the episode!</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Although the bodycams were disconnected in the explosion,
Garcia is able to quickly reestablish the uplink, and it turns out that JJ is fine!
Whew – that’s a relief! No news on Luke yet, so that’s a really bad sign. Emily
gathers everyone to rush off to Whitfield county in their new jet! Which gives
her a chance to say “Wheels Up”, which I know is important for the fans, but
again, this is gibberish. Wheels up is supposed to mean something, and she’s
transformed it into a catchphrase attached to nothing but the idea that they’re
going to be going somewhere at some point in the future.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Am I being petty about this? You’d better believe it!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">On the plane Joe, Emily, and Tara stare into the distance,
stressing over the situation. I’m not sure why, though – the uplink to JJ has
been connected, they could be talking to her and finding out what’s going on
right now.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Speaking of what’s going on, JJ finds Luke as the ambulances
and fire engines turn up, and he’s still alive! So it’s fair to say that show
misled us quite a bit about exactly when that bomb went off – the editing suggested
that they were still in the container when it happened, but given how far both of
them are afield of the hillside, it’s fair to say they got a good distance away
before the blast knocked them down.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Meanwhile MM watches the emergency vehicles drive by – the killer
from last episode is nowhere in sight, although I’m sure we’ll learn of his
fate soon enough. Is this a situation where they were really misleading us
about timelines and his body was already in the container? MM calls his wife to
let her know he’s going to be gone a few extra days on his current job, then he
searches out routes from his location in Keith, GA, to Falls Lake.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjplSzRla40_4DNUY41hmTjICmbgnTSIt8hJBuwZIZd9Ex1qfCw-Ex70g0nSYjvjq6GUAb7Poa7_PEJrxkIQ-5luV6utfGww0v9gR6vs1VYz_Go-V7pNY928e6aNozkkmGDob0MeM8jY7cX6itZiaVC2AC6Qxt9WzoCAtPluIDO6KBZYpCC9t1e8GVpWw/s1920/bandicam%202023-01-13%2011-47-59-321.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="969" data-original-width="1920" height="162" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjplSzRla40_4DNUY41hmTjICmbgnTSIt8hJBuwZIZd9Ex1qfCw-Ex70g0nSYjvjq6GUAb7Poa7_PEJrxkIQ-5luV6utfGww0v9gR6vs1VYz_Go-V7pNY928e6aNozkkmGDob0MeM8jY7cX6itZiaVC2AC6Qxt9WzoCAtPluIDO6KBZYpCC9t1e8GVpWw/s320/bandicam%202023-01-13%2011-47-59-321.jpg" width="320" /></a><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">So, two things about this route search…<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">1: Keith, GA is NOT in Whitfield Country.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">2: Those routes and distances are super-weird. Ranging from
460 miles to 810? That’s nearly twice the distance. What app is he using, and
why does it hate its users? I ran this through google maps, and the three
routes it offered three routes, ranging from 425 to 467 miles – weirdly all of
them predicted the trip would take exactly the same amount of time, give or
take a single minute.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The point is, none of these suggested routes encouraged the
driver to drive South through Atlanta and Colombia on the way North to Falls Lake.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">While he’s trying to decide which route to take MM flashes
back to his childhood, when he was running through the woods being pursued by
someone. The predator turns out to be Haywire from Prison Break, who we
remember from last time where he appeared to MM in a vision, revealing himself
as the guy who taught MM how to serial kill. Haywire knocks MiniM out and
tosses him in the bed of a pickup truck. So was he a kidnapping victim who was shown
the ropes by his abductor, or is this a family business type of thing? Given
what happened to Moose, the former seems more likely. A quick glance at the
license plate reveals that this is a North Carolina truck, suggesting that MM
is going ‘home’!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">We then get a quick montage of MiniM being locked in a closet
with a dead cat for a long period of time, only being fed pieces of toast shoved
in when the door is opened a crack. Then MiniM wakes in bed, as his period of
punishment for attempting to flee has ended. Haywire comes into the room and we
learn that he’s a relation of the kid’s parents, and since they’re dead, he has
custody of MiniM! So it’s actually kind of both a kidnapping and a family
thing!<span></span></p><a name='more'></a><o:p></o:p><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The rest of the team arrives to check on JJ and Luke, and it
turns out that we were even more lied to in the previous episode than we
thought – MM called the container twice to make sure they got out before the explosion,
knowing full well what targeting FBI agents would result in. We all remember
how Mr. Scratch and the Copycat and the Birdmaker ended up, don’t we? The point
is, the team likes to murder people who target them.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Searching around for any sign of MM, they instead find the
Jaws killer dead in a car, shot in the head with a gun lying next to him on the
seat. Unfortunately he’s in the passenger seat, so even if he’s left-handed,
this doesn’t look like a suicide. Of course, I’m just assuming that’s what MM
had in mind, it’s possible that he had no particular interest in pretending
this was anything but a murder. The team’s dialogue suggests that it’s a staged
suicide, but again – why’s he in the passenger seat? Could MM not have had Jaws
drive them somewhere and shot him in the head?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Joe makes a strange statement, announcing that the killer
had an unusual level of discipline because he was able to blow up all of his
trophies. Except… do you know that his trophies were actually in there? Also,
this is not new information – remember the other container full of trophies
that he abandoned, the one that started the whole series off? Not having
connections is kind of this guy’s whole thing.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In what has to be one of the biggest fails of Closed
Captioning in recent memory, we see this-<o:p></o:p></p>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOQnMdfScD39EifrUav-M33lkomlyZqolJSSt9x9UZqpgn1RmwC7D9ye-W1Mn5Br16QzK63WAP8edRpL_Gq5lQOzFyg5DIw8QZD_Yh-iuXWJuPcSGl74pWGSqjGW11m3iWlufZVB43ZyKiwjJyXwdu8o9RhtsQwyFH_a45Dx2bYk4Pak2DzYuGaWuu1g/s1920/bandicam%202023-01-13%2012-22-11-774.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="969" data-original-width="1920" height="162" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOQnMdfScD39EifrUav-M33lkomlyZqolJSSt9x9UZqpgn1RmwC7D9ye-W1Mn5Br16QzK63WAP8edRpL_Gq5lQOzFyg5DIw8QZD_Yh-iuXWJuPcSGl74pWGSqjGW11m3iWlufZVB43ZyKiwjJyXwdu8o9RhtsQwyFH_a45Dx2bYk4Pak2DzYuGaWuu1g/s320/bandicam%202023-01-13%2012-22-11-774.jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
<p class="MsoNormal">What is the ‘alternative’ music in question? A country and
western cover of ‘Spirit in the Sky’. Get your act together, subtitlers.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">MM has a flashback to listening to the same song as Haywire
took him out into the middle of nowhere to bury the body of a random person he
killed. I mean, they say it’s the middle of nowhere, but this bridge in the background:<o:p></o:p></p>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggUD4lO1RALqFm_pKcJoifNlB3qO4CO0fh6aL6h6zdNtinFOTsV5C4TgQWeU4iv9u264q4Y8muMvcBog2FLNVzFNOB0ZNaZNeJYPCsyw_SnwenjJlAkP3858R9ImRtZbAoAvcT_fsbS_sgczQMZOFh4kz05zMu6LbSqEX_iBqRpEHO1yBcFlZ6Zl48jg/s1920/bandicam%202023-01-13%2012-25-04-773.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="969" data-original-width="1920" height="162" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggUD4lO1RALqFm_pKcJoifNlB3qO4CO0fh6aL6h6zdNtinFOTsV5C4TgQWeU4iv9u264q4Y8muMvcBog2FLNVzFNOB0ZNaZNeJYPCsyw_SnwenjJlAkP3858R9ImRtZbAoAvcT_fsbS_sgczQMZOFh4kz05zMu6LbSqEX_iBqRpEHO1yBcFlZ6Zl48jg/s320/bandicam%202023-01-13%2012-25-04-773.jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
<p class="MsoNormal">I feel like that’s a pretty familiar filming location.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Bailey calls Emily to let her know that the Justice
department wants things hushed up – since a Senator was murdered by her son,
they’d prefer it if they could just say that he was the MM of the murder frat,
and close the case. Otherwise the press will have a field day! Emily demands a
chance to find proof that Jaws wasn’t MM, and Bailey promises to bring said evidence
to the attorney general if they find it.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Um… the container had a diary of all of MM’s early killings,
and some of them happened while Jaws was at University in the UK. We heard
about this last week. Also, they have a series of text messages between MM and
Jaws, with MM promising to build Jaws the murder teeth he used to kill. You’ve
got plenty of evidence already, is my point.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Then, in a nice and subtle scene, Garcia has finally confirmed
via DNA that Green’s sister was one of the victims. Not clear where this DNA
was from, I guess it was one of the skeletons in the container?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">On the flight back the team goes over what evidence they
have, and this whole scene is ridiculous. I know we’re in a rush to get things
back to normal, but this is just crazy, they all instantaneously have so much
information that you’d think Penelope worked up a dossier for them before they
got on the plane.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In one of the cases that wasn’t burned they find a stalker
photo. It’s of a woman who facial recognition identifies as being a murder
victim from twenty years earlier. What’s the problem? Luke – who instantly
knows the details of her case somehow, finds it suspicious that there’s a clock
in the picture that says 1:43 AM, when police thought that the woman was
murdered before midnight. Except they have no reason to suspect that the
picture in question was taken on the night she was murdered. And it turns out
that her boyfriend confessed to the crime, and he’s going to be executed in
just 48 hours! What an amazing coincidence!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Also, they suggest that MM must have just used masterful psychological
manipulation techniques to get a guy to confess to a crime he didn’t commit,
but isn’t it way more likely that the cops did that? Cops famously love manipulating
people into false confessions. It’s one of their favorite things to do!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Are you ready for more coincidences? Tara’s girlfriend who
works at the department of Justice? Turns out that she’s from North Carolina,
and she was the DA who jailed the guy for killing his girlfriend!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Back at home base Green is released, and when Garcia tells
him that they’re out of leads on the MM case he gets very quiet and it immediately
clear that he’s planning to take matters into his own hands. In a funny note
for me and possibly no one else, she announces that he’s not going to be
charged with anything even though it’s never been in any way clear what they
would have charged him with. Getting tackled by FBI agents?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">After Garcia hugs everyone who almost died we head into the interrogation
room, where it turns out the purported killer knows literally nothing about the
crime he’s supposed to have committed. They offer to help him if he just
reveals the truth, but this angers the boyfriend, and he announces that he just
wants to die! What happened here?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">JJ calls Will to check in, and these two are so great together!
No notes, show.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">JJ and Joe look over the contents of the new container – the
victims’ records in there suggest that he tortured people more extensively, as
if he was growing more cruel the longer his crimes dragged on. They bring up
the possibility that he could have more containers scattered across the country!
The scene is interrupted by Garcia getting a phone call – she has to bail Green
out of jail! That was fast.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">It seems that he went straight to a bar and got into a
fight. But nobody wound up pressing charges, so Garcia is able to drag him –
still drunk, so this is all taking place super-fast – back to her place! Turns
out the fight was because the guy had seen him on the news and thought he was a
terrorist! Yeah, they never print the retractions above the fold, do they?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">MM has returned to the place where he first helped bury a
body, and takes off his shirt to contemplate the scar that Haywire gave him. We
flash back to him reading one of Joe’s books about serial killers! It turns out
he’s doing this while Maria, the first victim who started all of this, is
chained up in the corner of the room. She begs MM to let her go, so he opens
her chains, but instead of fleeing, she stabs him in the back, explaining the
scissors! Haywire then overpowers and murders her, then chides MM for his incompetence.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The team mulls over what MM might be holding over the
boyfriend’s head to get him to want to be executed – after all, twenty years in
jail is plenty of time to turn on your partner. Does he have a secret child or
something along those lines? They decide to go through the boyfriend’s
belongings in the hopes of finding a clue.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Also, Tara’s girlfriend shows up – Tara didn’t bother to
call and tell her about the situation, and she’s kind of pissed off. Which she
has every right to be. How would you not give her some warning about this?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Tara’s girlfriend threatens to break up with her if she pursues
this any further, and while that might seem extreme, you’ve got to remember the
psychology of DAs - they imagine that they’re infallible arbiters of justice,
even though that’s almost never the case. Let’s not forget that the evil DA who
railroaded the Central Park 5 still maintains TO THIS DAY that she was right to
do it, and that they were secretly guilty.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In going through the second container, it turns out every single
victim other than Maria, as far as they know, had a child. There’s got to be a meaning
to that… he’s trying to make more orphans like himself?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">They go through the boyfriend’s personal effects from his
cell, and discover a bunch of stalker photos of a guy from the gang he was in,
all with a Catholic prayer of confession written on the back. They confront the
boyfriend with this info and he doesn’t respond, but Tara has figured out what’s
going on! The guy in the picture was the boyfriend’s secret lover, another gang
member, and he can’t out himself as gay or bi, due to the violent,
machismo-obsessed culture he grew up in! MM is threatening to kill his lover if
he doesn’t go down for the murder of Maria!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Back at her apartment¸ Garcia has found out where the lover
is – living under a new name in Norfolk, VA – so it shouldn’t take them long to
bring him in! Then she and Green bond over shared trauma, and he moves to kiss
her, which freaks her out!<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh95EfC71_ulebGlu2QWVp8fnJJygQDL-DIb2MpGZ3cyn3b9KrOi9bCdfiPmHhXQXCghmEZtkgizsNuGscZM_OYj9RQS2adXG2S0WpaBeC4b-Olpkjd7HtZeMpfcsTN2R9ks_Ts7XgWEc54T4Nc6QGGOFYcx9OU67nqhdc7pXtZwAyf2UtP2oCJ2Xgp2A/s1920/bandicam%202023-01-13%2013-07-33-996.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="969" data-original-width="1920" height="162" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh95EfC71_ulebGlu2QWVp8fnJJygQDL-DIb2MpGZ3cyn3b9KrOi9bCdfiPmHhXQXCghmEZtkgizsNuGscZM_OYj9RQS2adXG2S0WpaBeC4b-Olpkjd7HtZeMpfcsTN2R9ks_Ts7XgWEc54T4Nc6QGGOFYcx9OU67nqhdc7pXtZwAyf2UtP2oCJ2Xgp2A/s320/bandicam%202023-01-13%2013-07-33-996.jpg" width="320" /></a></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Time for another flashback, in which we learn how Maria’s
body was found. We see MM and Haywire looking at the cops as they dig up the
corpse, and Haywire says they don’t have to worry because he has a fall guy all
planned out. He does wonder how the cops happened to get out there just in
time, however – meaning that he thinks MM tried to rat him out! They have a
confrontation over this as MM plans to leave, and MM almost kills Haywire, but
manages to stop himself. As Haywire points out, it’s public knowledge that his nephew
lives with him, so were MM to kill him, the cops would know just who to look
for. MM leaves, but Haywire announces that he’ll be back!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Which is exactly what happens at the end of the flashback –
MM is home!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The lover turns up at Quantico with a ton of evidence in
hand – it turns that Haywire used to sell guns to the gang, and knew that the
boyfriend and his lover were an item! He was also fixated on Maria, so obviously
he thought that Haywire was responsible for Maria’s murder. Luckily he has pics
to back up his story – he and the boyfriend at a gay club on the night of her abduction!
So Tara brings the evidence to her girlfriend, who proves to be the one good DA
who agrees to call the governor and encourage him to stay the execution. They talk
about her withdrawing the case, but of course she can’t do that, as she’s no
longer the DA in that state, but the call should still be important.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">We see Green and Garcia going for a walk, and he talks about
how his sister worked in the area – which makes Garcia realize something,
forcing her to rush back to the office. But not before kissing Green! Finally.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Tara’s girlfriend gets the stay of execution, but discovers
that she’s going to be put under review – which is hugely unrealistic. Law
enforcement covers for people who make mistakes, especially ones like this. It’s
not like she did something unethical. The guy literally confessed to the crime.
In any event, she says she’s not going back to Tara’s place because she can’t
trust Tara to be honest with her. Which is a little extreme, but we’ll see what
happens when she’s had time to calm down a little.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">This isn’t related, but wow is this woman short. Like, Aisha
Tyler is tall, so there was likely going to be a height difference between her
and any woman hired to play her girlfriend, but their notable height difference
is there despite the woman wearing 4-inch heels!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Okay, here’s what Garcia noticed – all of the victims had a
connection to places called ‘2<sup>nd</sup> street’. That’s why MM picked them.
Yes, they’re really building his whole MO around a piece of Reid’s random
trivia. Cannot say I was expecting that!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Also, they’re guessing that because he’s grabbing
higher-challenge victims on the east coast, it’s probably far from his home, which
is likely on the west coast near the first container. Also, Joe assumes he must
be a parent, since after the gap between abandoning container one and starting container
two he started killing parents. This is a gigantic stretch that’s utterly
preposterous, and there’s no reason to think this is the case. But they think
they’re going to find him via his family, and Haywire is known to the guy they
just got off death row, so that’s probably accurate.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Speaking of, MM goes to see Haywire, and announces that he’s
poisoned the now-old serial killer! Before he dies we discover that there’s a ‘real’
reason MM came to live with Haywire, and since he says it in response to MM
announcing that Haywire turned him into a monster, we have to wonder if MM
killed his parents as a youth? That would be a weird twist, considering what a
good job they’ve done of establishing what turned him into a monster.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In a nice bit of doubling, Haywire says that family is what
gets you killed, which is essentially what Joe was suggesting! Things are looking
pretty bleak for MM’s wife and daughters, but hopefully they can get clear somehow!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">So, how useful was profiling in catching this week’s killer?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">0/10 – They did not catch a killer this week! Fun episode,
though!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Oh, and I wasn’t exaggerating earlier – the show totally
lied in the cliffhanger. Went back and checked 1605 and no, there were no
warning calls and JJ and Luke were still in the container when the feeds from
their cameras cut out. Yes, there was a call – but it was the call that
activated the bomb. Thankfully the bomb had a generous timer, I suppose?<o:p></o:p></p>Vardulonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17821844774999740966noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9114808246459538090.post-10126559385036709692023-01-12T12:23:00.006-05:002023-01-12T12:23:54.455-05:00Criminal Minds 1605 - Oedipus Wrecks<p> Okay everyone, we made it to the half-season ender! Which,
honestly, is a weird thing to call it, since we’re taking just two weeks off?
When I hear ‘mid-season ender’ my mind goes to a months-long wait to find out
what happens next. Like on Better Call Saul. “Oh look, Lalo’s alive. See you in
two months!” But this is just them taking a couple of weeks off for the Holiday
Break. Not that I’m complaining – more Criminal Minds sooner is always a good
thing!</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">As the episode opens a young woman is led into a fancy house
by a guy who tells her that another man will be ready for a moment. This is all
scored to the song ‘At Last’, which for me is inextricably linked to the show
“Andy Richter Controls the Universe’ which starred… Paget Brewster! Is this
something the production staff was thinking of? I can’t imagine how it could
be.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Hey, is this the same house that the torso thief was using
in episode 1501? Let’s check!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAT2A99xd7IdSvzywdgRszeq7nD0Nhu5qnfkTpTLR2PvuyhvZQmLU6hDULhZd38ky3tU7RZG3mwjy1YCdAR8VY-Kt_0oh9bFpzb8ASwGlhIUQ6-7Mc5nOUt0WC_p763bCOHLvh8bdtPUwZY5uNaPtyX3-fqDiHDKd0PoVQxw1bBYEV7VTCQUDaK0h83A/s1618/bandicam%202022-12-16%2012-38-57-534.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="784" data-original-width="1618" height="155" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAT2A99xd7IdSvzywdgRszeq7nD0Nhu5qnfkTpTLR2PvuyhvZQmLU6hDULhZd38ky3tU7RZG3mwjy1YCdAR8VY-Kt_0oh9bFpzb8ASwGlhIUQ6-7Mc5nOUt0WC_p763bCOHLvh8bdtPUwZY5uNaPtyX3-fqDiHDKd0PoVQxw1bBYEV7VTCQUDaK0h83A/s320/bandicam%202022-12-16%2012-38-57-534.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><o:p></o:p><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">No, it’s just got a similar layout! Completely different in
every meaningful way!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The woman – Rose – is there to meet a guy who claims to be
the son of a super-fancy lady that everyone knows! More details about that
later, I’m sure. She gives up her phone due to a need for ‘discretion’. The
characters are nice enough to point out that you even need to do that at comedy
clubs these days, so it doesn’t seem too serial killer-y.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The killer starts ask Rose about her recently deceased
mother, and Rose starts to wobble from drinking drugged wine. So this actually
is pretty close to the opening of 1501! She wakes up tied to a table in a wine
cellar, and the killer arrives, wearing metal dentures that he’s planning to
use to bite her to death! So… probably not connected to the frat this time?
Unless, you know, there was a Jaws-themed case buried somewhere in America.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">That’s Jaws the James Bond villain, not the shark.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Now we’re in Quantico, or the environs, as we hear the quote
‘A man start cutting his wisdom teeth the moment he first bites off more than
he can chew’. Of course, this is likely the first time anyone has ever heard
that quote, because it’s from Herb Caen – and who's gonna read Herb Caen?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">And if you got that reference, bravo!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">We check in with JJ and Jr, who are at the doctor’s office
confirming that he doesn’t have any growths in his lungs – but the tests still
suggest it could be cancer! But where? Maybe bone marrow? That’s famously hard
to detect! JJ’s understandably annoyed that Jr already checked in with a doctor
about this a couple of months ago and didn’t tell her. Which both contradicts
last episode and makes more sense – that episode was set over like 16 hours, no
way is that enough time for him to get a blood test and hear back about the
results.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Back at the office, Penelope complains about having to work
with Green on finding out MM’s communications, and then Bailey shows up to
oversee the new investigation – we don’t know exactly what the investigation is
yet, I guess a bit-to-death corpse showed up? So was the victim significant, or
do they already know it’s a rich kid doing the killing?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">No, it’s more interesting than that – both the victims, who
were bitten and then strangled, so maybe there’s a connection given the
outstanding starter kit – were on an app for people dating in DC who work in
the government. It turns out Bailey wants in on the case because he dated one
of the victims, and wants to make sure his name is kept out of it! I’m not sure
that it’s such a huge scandal that a single guy is on a dating app in the year
2022. Then again, maybe he’s married? I’ll look for a ring in his next scene.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Emily agrees to keep his involvement a secret if he backs
off of the BAU, and he agrees. Ah, Emily, you do so love using people’s
weaknesses to exploit them! The team talks a little about how the bite marks
don’t look human – hopefully forensics can get them a lead on that! Also they
mention that no, Bailey isn’t married, so again, I’m not sure what the scandal
is. If he was worried about being connected to the murder, I get it – but
they’re acting like being on an app is in and of itself scandalous.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Also, in ‘this was written by upper class people in LA who
don’t know how the rest of the world works’ news, Emily refers to the app as
‘Raya for inside the Beltway’. Now, if you haven’t heard of ‘Raya’, there’s a
reason for that. It’s the dating app that just for rich and famous people so
that A: they can avoid stalkers, and B: not risk breeding with the poors. Would
Emily use it as a point of reference? Probably not. But obviously the writers
would, because they all live in LA, where it’s pretty huge.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Green comes in to work with Penelope, and Joe offers to
knock his sentence down to ‘time served’ if he helps them catch MM. I remain
confused about what crime he’s supposed to have committed, beyond sending tens
of thousands of dollars to an offshore account. Which might not actually be a
crime. Penelope is a huge jerk to him, bragging about how she doesn’t need his
help to get into the MM chat logs, but then she immediately runs into a trap.
It’s cute!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">At the morgue, we find out that the dentures are
razor-tipped, which they say explains all of the damage – this is in direct
conflict with the images we saw of the wounds, which don’t look at all like
someone was tearing at the flesh.<o:p></o:p></p>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiT0n6qIb6-MCJY9pSFaqfaydMalHeK5hkXEPtNCG1sREI2jN_pVG-ZAClhZCEDwG2UBndch2wOQfHAVEChwLI1W4LrK9BNjA5ABCe6QH9WdeynlF4nSh9YRVwdqe3fLlZBGYz8aC3q3hFBX1tXEKCmWL2qTu1X8d3DqfM_swhyuIftDM7nvLfzHdKjng/s1618/bandicam%202022-12-16%2013-08-41-342.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="784" data-original-width="1618" height="155" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiT0n6qIb6-MCJY9pSFaqfaydMalHeK5hkXEPtNCG1sREI2jN_pVG-ZAClhZCEDwG2UBndch2wOQfHAVEChwLI1W4LrK9BNjA5ABCe6QH9WdeynlF4nSh9YRVwdqe3fLlZBGYz8aC3q3hFBX1tXEKCmWL2qTu1X8d3DqfM_swhyuIftDM7nvLfzHdKjng/s320/bandicam%202022-12-16%2013-08-41-342.jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
<p class="MsoNormal">See? These are all pretty discrete bite marks. It turns out
each victim also had their hair bleached – Tara and Luke immediately jump to
the assumption that the killer is obsessed with a previous victim – or one that
got away, perhaps? They immediately call JJ and tell her to look for another bitten
and strangled woman, alive or dead – blonde or otherwise. It’s a weird jump to
make – it’s just as likely that the changing of the appearance is meant to
connect the victim to someone that he wants to kill, but can’t for whatever
reason. They’ve encountered that more than once. I mean, we the audience know
that it’s about his blonde-haired mother from the painting in the first scene,
but even without that, it’s a possibility worth considering.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">They immediately find a sex worker who was brutally bitten,
but she won’t tell them who her client was because he’s so powerful. She points
out that the guy’s assistant – who brought Rose to the house at the start – was
already at the hospital when she arrived, offering 50K and an NDA. So she
refuses to cooperate because the killer’s reach extends everywhere. Weirdly JJ
doesn’t threaten her in order to get her cooperation, which is something they
do a lot. Why pull back now? Oh, and just FYI, the woman has dark brown hair –
this is before the bleaching fetish got going.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">They then get a mock-up of the dentures that the lab sent
over – they’re spiky, and the team assumes no legit dentist would have made
them, which is probably true. But since he could pay almost anyone online to
make them, it’s not much of a lead. They talk a little about the ‘remaking’
women, and suggest that the killer is probably trying to turn the victims into
his mother or grandmother, who either gave him too much or not enough attention
as a child. Also that he never passed the ‘oral’ stage of psychosexual
development, which is why he loves biting so much. This is just a series of
huge jumps in a row, but let’s just let them have them and move on.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Now we cut over to the killer, who’s busy bleaching the hair
on Rose’s body!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Then it’s another scene with Green and Garcia – she finally
asks him why he came to her for help when there’s a million hackers in the
world. We still don’t get an answer. David interrupts to go over one of the
chat logs, in which MM was giving people the psychopath test to see if they’re
potential killers! Garcia mentions that Reid told her about it – which is the
first time he’s been mentioned since episode 1!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Rose’s body then turns up – Luke and Emily go to check out
the dump site. Now that they have three of those, they can map out the killer’s
comfort zone – but how will they manage that without Reid, whose job it was to
draw three circles on the map?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Emily then makes the dumbest leap yet this season, when she
announces that the killer must have a personal connection to the empty fields
in which the bodies are being dumped. After all, it’s not like someone would
drive hundreds of miles to leave a body in a random place to ensure that they
had not possible connection to him, is it? What’s that? It’s entirely plausible
that a killer with resources would do that because they didn’t want to get
caught? Excellent point, me. But I’m sure they’re going to be right.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Whew! Jr shows up at this office and it seems that he has a
thyroid disorder which is causing the massively increased white blood cell
count! He and JJ promise to communicate better with one another, and it’s
incredibly sweet! I don’t know where they’re going with this, but it feels like
something bad is coming, and I’m very uneasy!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">It turns out that all of the dump sites were tobacco farms
owned by a Senator from Virginia, and that Senator has a son with a history of
assaulting women! Bailey hears this and freaks out – he doesn’t want the
political hassle of investigating someone rich and powerful – but he will let
them investigate the son’s staff! I was about to suggest they check if there
was security footage of the guy who bribed the sex worker, but that would have
been so long ago the hospital wouldn’t have kept it, I’m sure.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">At the killer’s house, the assistance lets him know that the
FBI is looking into him. How did he find that out? Only the team and Bailey
know at this point. Unless the sex worker called him? Given how scared she was,
that actually makes a ton of sense! The killer is unconcerned and tells him to
‘handle’ it, which he points out that he absolutely is not qualified to do.
Then the senator shows up and tells the killer that he’s going to start doing
fundraising events to help her. He doesn’t want to, so she exerts creepy
control over him making it immediately clear that she’s been molesting him his
whole life! Very creepy scene!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Another Garcia and Green scene, where Joe seems to think
that MM must have known that Green was after him because he asked too many
questions – it was all a trap! Then Green points out that he picked Garcia
because, unlike most other hackers, she was super-easy to manipulate because
she cares too much about people. Which, you know, good point. Then they act
like Garcia turning on the transponders was the only way he got a starter kit –
since losing the rest made MM desperate enough for money to sell him one.
That’s a hell of a stretch, though – since how could he possibly know about
MM’s financial situation?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The assistant then goes into the FBI office and implies that
he was involved in the killings. This isn’t entirely plausible, because he
literally could not get to where they are. You can drive up to the FBI building
in DC and ask questions, but their offices are in Quantico, which is on the
grounds of a Marine base – there’s no way to drive your car in there unless
it’s expected, and it’s not the first place you’d go.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">They find the teeth in his trunk, but he doesn’t admit to
anything, and asks for a lawyer – the team realizes that he must be distracting
them in order to give the killer time to do something more important. So they
call up the sex worker to tell her to get somewhere safe, as she’s the only
living witness to his biting-themed crimes.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Unfortunately the killer is already with her, pointing a gun
at her head, demanding to know who she talked to. Guess she didn’t call the
assistant after all! Oh well. Luckily the team arrives in time to keep him from
shooting her. This is incredibly preposterous because, as previously mentioned,
they’re in an office building in a marine base near Quantico, VA. If the
parking lot the sex worker is in is anywhere other than Quantico, it would take
a half an hour to get there. Even if it’s in Quantico it would take ten
minutes. So this is kind of a stretch – then again, geography has never been
the show’s strong suit.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Bailey is not psyched that they arrested a Senator’s son,
and wants him released. Even though he was pointing a gun at a woman and his
assistant has the metal teeth. Also he funded the app that he’s using to find
victims. She asks Bailey what kind of woman the victim he knew was, and Bailey
explains that she was driven and brilliant – so he’s looking for women like his
mother! Which… I feel like they already could have assumed?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Anyway, Emily goes in there trying to act controlling and
cruel like his mother would, hoping to get a confession. She taunts him and he
starts revealing details of some of the early MM victims from the container.
Emily counters that he could have had those leaked – if he wants to impress
her, he’ll need to offer new information! So he talks about buried treasure in
Whitfield, Georgia, which I’m guessing is the container that MM rigged to blow?
The point is, all of this information means that the killer is the likely the
person who bankrolled the frat – or at least one of them. Is he the one who was
demanding to ‘go next’ while MM was dealing with Green? Or was that still
someone else? In any event, he sucks at following rules, since he dumped the
women in a way that was designed to get his mother’s attention.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The assistant won’t talk – he points out that America is run
by the rich who control everything, so what use is a promise from the justice
department when he works for a rich family? So at least he gets it.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">We’re told that local cops are searching Whitfield, and then
Emily sends Luke and JJ down there to supervise. Uh-oh. Did they do all of that
stuff with Jr. so we’d be completely misdirected when JJ gets blown up by the
firebomb in the container at the end of this episode? If so, that’s a NASTY
trick, show. I’m keeping my fingers crossed, hard.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Joe goes to check in with Green, hoping that he can dig up
chats between MM and the killer. When told that the killer is into cannibalism,
Green remembers that there was a rich guy who helped bankroll the organization,
and MM made him something to help with an ‘overbite’. Green explains that there
was a private forum just for the funders and MM – but he doesn’t know where it
is. Which means he’ll have to make nice with Garcia to find it!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I’m going to be 100% honest here – I’m loving the interplay
between Green and Garcia. It started rough, but it’s really working in this
episode. Green goes to talk to her with a peace offering – a kitten! Which is a
terrible bribe, as Garcia points out. Also, Green claims that there’s a cat
rescue down the street, and, I can’t believe I have to keep saying this, but
for the record… YOU ARE IN AN OFFICE BUILDING THAT IS PART OF A MARINE CORPS
TRAINING FACILITY. THERE IS A FIRING RANGE BETWEEN YOU AND THE INTERSTATE. THE
CITY ‘QUANTICO’ IS A FIFTEEN MINUTE DRIVE AWAY. THAT’S WHY HOTCH ALWAYS SAID
‘WHEELS UP IN 30’. 10 MINUTES TO GET YOUR STUFF TOGETHER AND GET DOWNSTAIRS. 15
MINUTES TO DRIVE TO THE MARINE BASE AIR FIELD. 5 MINUTES TO GET SITUATED ON THE
PLANE. THERE IS NOT A CAT RESCUE ‘DOWN THE STREET’.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Okay, glad that’s out of my system. Back to the show.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The Senator comes to see Emily and Bailey. She says that if
they don’t let her son go, she’ll have the BAU destroyed by the senate
judiciary committee! Emily says it’s up to Bailey and walks out. You know, for
someone who’s used to playing dirty, Emily is weirdly hesitant to bring up the
possibility of public humiliation here. Wouldn’t the press love to know about a
sitting Senator pulling strings to get their serial killing son out of jail?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">When the Senator and her son get home, MM is there waiting –
they had a special code: if he ever dials 911, MM comes running to start the
endgame in which the mother gets killed. Yikes!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">After the commercial break, we see the mother’s dead body
lying on the ground, her face torn apart in the way we were told was done with
the razor teeth, but didn’t actually see. Wonder why the mistake was made
there, and not here? Since, you know, he didn’t have the teeth here.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">By the team the team gets out to the Senator’s house the
family plane is already in the air – hopefully the killer or MM knows how to
fly it, since that’s another dead body if they don’t. They’re headed to
Whitfield! Which the killer is going along with, even though he already told
the team about it? Also, now that they know that the killer was funding the
frat, they dig into the code of the dating app he also funded, and find MM’s
secret forum!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Over in Whitfield, the killer says they can head to a
country with no extradition (I’m guessing Ecuador?), but MM explains he’s got
something they need to do first. Meanwhile JJ and Luke have arrived at the
container – apparently a satellite managed to find two doors sticking out of
the ground? Obviously there’s no way that could have ever happened, but again,
we’re getting close to the end, so let’s just let them have this one.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Oh, come on show, why are you doing this to me? In the scene
were it turned out Jr was fine they promised to be better about communicating
with one another, right down to calling before they do anything dangerous. And
then Luke and JJ decide to check out the bunker without backup, so she calls Jr<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>to say she loves him. God damn it show, WHY.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The team watches JJ and Luke go in via their bodycams, and
then they see the firebomb that’s ready to detonate – Emily orders them out,
but then the bomb activates and the cameras go dead.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">THE END<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">GOD DAMN YOU, SHOW. Like, we all saw this coming, but damn,
is that a cliffhanger. Are they really killing someone off? JJ was closer to
the exit than Luke, so maybe she got out?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">On the upside, we only have two weeks to wait?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">That is not much of an upside.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">So, how useful was profiling in catching this week’s killer?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">1/10 – Yes, they didn’t technically catch him, but that’s
only because his mother helped him escape. They identified and almost caught
him, though! Can’t really credit profiling, though. The killer dropped bodies in
places that were designed to humiliate his mother and lead the cops to him. He
wanted to get caught, and led the team right to him. The psychology even makes
sense, because only by giving himself no other option could he work up the guts
to finally kill his mother.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Bad profiling – great episode!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Let’s start the countdown until new episodes now, shall we?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I just checked the calendar – they’re not back until January
13. I was wrong, this is going to be a LONG four weeks.<o:p></o:p></p>Vardulonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17821844774999740966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9114808246459538090.post-38923850369082091192022-12-10T18:27:00.004-05:002022-12-10T18:27:50.348-05:00Criminal Minds 1604 - Pay Per View<p>The episode opens with the Mastermind
(MM, Elias Voit), cleaning up after allowing adorable pupper Moose to
snack down on a guy just because the man looked like MM's horrible
neighbour. Like, I get you were angry, but your whole thing is
elaborate planning – maybe put up some plastic sheeting to minimize
cleanup time after the chomping is complete?</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">While cleaning up a pool of blood in
the least efficient way possible – for the record, you use
something absorbent like a big sponge or paper towels to get most of
the blood, then only bring out the bleach and scrubber when dealing
with stains – MM has a vision of someone named Cyrus (based on the
subtitles) in the pool. This leads to a fantasy of Cyrus talking to
him, and explaining that it's his rules that MM's serial killing
revolves around, which is why he's able to keep from getting caught.
Cyrus is played by that actor from Grim, Prison Break and a hundred
other things whose name I'll look up if you'll wait a second-</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAmK6gxLZlPW-uMW_zYpn3293rYgwJXKrg4wg4A8lHCLHM03Tuhu-zrPCR_ooA1jJFQSdgI6w64HYoDYtGa9-dOR0SP4L6cKOl2n_kYcB3khZ4OszD8UwjqvYT-XxELPlmeQ9R9yjSXjeJZv-UMjLlDJ4BAqBNgj_FWDacCyeBOrjS3YNTcINQpv-5gQ/s1699/bandicam%202022-12-10%2015-19-39-574.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="730" data-original-width="1699" height="137" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAmK6gxLZlPW-uMW_zYpn3293rYgwJXKrg4wg4A8lHCLHM03Tuhu-zrPCR_ooA1jJFQSdgI6w64HYoDYtGa9-dOR0SP4L6cKOl2n_kYcB3khZ4OszD8UwjqvYT-XxELPlmeQ9R9yjSXjeJZv-UMjLlDJ4BAqBNgj_FWDacCyeBOrjS3YNTcINQpv-5gQ/s320/bandicam%202022-12-10%2015-19-39-574.jpg" width="320" /></a></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Silas Mitchell is his name! This is not
the character from the container in the first episode, but these are
his rules – so what is that guy's involvement? I'm going to go
ahead and assume that my inability to recognize faces has foiled me
yet again, and it was, in fact, MM in that first scene of the first
episode – which is kind of puzzling, since if that's the case, he
looked older in that scene than he does in the main show, which is
set 17 years later.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Then, as if we didn't have enough
reason to hate this guy, we then see him load up a syringe with
Pentobarbitol, which is what vets use to put down animals, and murder
Moose with it! You monster.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Over at Quantico Tara and Emily are
debating about how to approach Green, the guy who was trying to kill
MM because he thinks that MM was responsible for the death of his
sister. Although that's just conjecture at this point, since his
sister disappeared from DC back in 2007, and MM was working out of
the Pacific Northwest at that time. They also wonder how Green found
out about the murder frat, and why he thinks MM killed his sister.
Answers I'm sure we'll get an answer to soon!</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Also they mention that he worked in
PsyOps, which is weird, since last week I could have sworn he was a
special forces guy who spotted for drones, which is how Joe
identified him via the lingo he was using. They send in Garcia to
talk to Green, since her specialty was always talking to the families
of victims! Actually, no, that was JJ's specialty, but the show's
long since forgotten that, but it does remember that Garcia was
briefly involved in a support group, so here we are.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">More importantly, though – Garcia is
who Green reached out to, and when face to face, he says that he
feels betrayed that she gave the info to the FBI. What was she
supposed to do with it, though? Garcia's response is that she works
for the FBI, so why wouldn't she do that? Except no, Garcia, you
didn't at the time he sent the files. In fact, you were very adamant
about the fact that you wanted zero association with the FBI. Lying
to a guy first thing is not a great way to build trust.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Garcia brings up his sister, which
causes Green to shut down – she is very bad at strategic
interviews! Then she suggests that the only way he won't spend the
rest of his life in jail is if he helps them. For what, exactly,
would he be jailed? Like... it might be a federal crime of some kind
to buy a bomb online, but you didn't catch him with a bomb, so I
don't know how you'd prove that's what he was doing. Green refuses to
talk, so Garcia gives up immediately.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Over at the LaMontagne house, Jr and JJ
are chatting about the kids and breakfast and it's all quite cute.
Josh Steward remains the most natural actor I've ever seen. They
start to kiss but are interrupted by a life insurance salesman from
Walmart Financial, which is as awkward a bit of product integration
as I've ever seen. And... now that we know that Walmart paid money to
be mentioned on the show, does that mean they were paying money to
have characters talking about serial killers using their parking lots
to dump cars? Interesting marketing technique!</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Emily and Joe chat about the aftermath
about last week – it seems that the bomb kit was buried for five
years! Wow, firebomb materials that still work after five years? I
wonder what kind it was – a ton of flammable materials break down
super-fast. Then things get weird, as they announce there were no
'persons of interest' captured on the CCTV at the park, but assume
that just means that MM knew how to avoid them. Except... how are
they defining persons of interest here? And weren't there cameras all
over that street, given that this is DC? They have no idea what MM
looks like, so how can they say he's not on camera?</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">They jump to the conclusion that it was
all a setup, and MM wanted Green to get caught by the cops since he'd
figured out Green was the mole – but there's a flaw in their
reasoning: why would MM go to DC if that was the case? He's done all
of this starter kit stuff to separate himself out from the murders,
and suddenly he's traveling to the site of a bombing? If he was going
there to kill the mole, and the team interrupted his plan, that would
make sense, but if he was setting the guy up to get caught – which
there's zero evidence to suggest – why would he put himself in the
same Time Zone as the FBI?</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Joe points out that there are still two
outstanding kits – one in Indio, California, the other in
Rockville, Maryland – which is close to Rock Creek Park, which was
the title of that terrible Criminal Minds episode about the lady who
had his son's wife kidnapped to help his political career? Oof, that
was a rough one.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">I'm still not entirely clear why
they're having trouble finding these cases – if they hadn't been
picked up yet, they should have been in the ground. If they had, they
should have been in places connected to the would-be killers. So
shouldn't they have leads? Oh, and in case anyone forgot, the cases
are for acid and strangulation – so let's see how that plays out!</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Then it's over to Miami, where a couple
checks into a nice hotel, only to get notified that their remote
cameras have been turned on! The killers – there's two of them, and
they use face-blurring technology of some kind – have a strange
theme: they break into the house of people who are away, bringing a
victim with them – in this case a guy in a uniform – and kill the
victim while the homeowners watch.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">You know, this reminds me of a terrible
Rogers ad from years ago, which pointed out that their
home-monitoring cameras used the wireless cell phone network, so even
if lines were down you could still check out what's going on in your
house. Perfectly good message, but the way they decided to get it
across was to show a cable line that had been manually cut on the
outside of house, and then pan across to let us see a little girl
running in through the front door without unlocking it. The homeowner
seemed happy to see that the camera still worked without an internet
connection, but was strangely unconcerned about the likelihood that a
criminal had broken into the house just before the child god home.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Luke drops by Garcia's lab to talk
about Green's backstory. He was apparently the last person to see his
sister alive, and only has fuzzy memories of the day in question. But
we just heard that she was last seen leaving her apartment with her
boyfriend, a man named 'Lewis or Lee' – so is he the one who saw
her? And he's seen her killer, which he believes is MM? Also, the
sister had a two year old son when she disappeared, and he just
graduated from high school based on the photos they show!</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">The team gets a briefing on the case –
the uniformed guy that got killed was from the security company –
apparently the killers took control of the house's system to get an
officer out to check on the house before triggering the remote camera
alarms. Because this happened in Germantown, which is near Rockville,
the team thinks it might be related to MM's frat! Although last week
they were looking for people based on kits related specific kill
methods, and this wasn't about acid or strangulation, it was just
about defeating home security systems, which is what the kit from the
first episode was about.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">This is all very confusing.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Garcia yells at Green until he agrees
to do a cognitive interview in the hopes of remembering something
important about the last time he saw his sister. She's wearing cat
ears the entire time, which is hideously unprofessional, but I love
it. No one has yet asked him what he hoped to achieve by sending
Garcia the transponder codes.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Also, his sister's DNA is not in the
container anywhere, so maybe she's still alive! Which would be more
encouraging had there been ANY DNA in the trailer. Other than the
actual bodies the whole placed was sanitized to an absurd degree,
remember? Maybe just say she wasn't one of the bodies?</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">JJ is at her desk when Jr calls to
mention that he loves her. They had better not be setting us up for
tragedy, because this is a shockingly healthy relationship they have.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Then it's over to the killers, who are
breaking into another house to prepare for their next murder
broadcast! They prepare the house for murder, but discover that the
couple's flight has been canceled! The dominant member of the pair
says that's fine, he doesn't mind abandoning their entire theme at
the drop of the hat! Or maybe they won't? We're shown that the house
has a safe room, so maybe they're going to get the couple to hide in
there, and then make them watch a security guard get killed through
their in-room camera feed?</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">We see the interview – apparently he
was, in fact, the last person to see her alive. He was there to
babysit, but then MM freaked out when he saw that another person was
at the apartment, presumably because he hates witnesses, and stormed
out. The sister then asked Green to meet her and MM at the restaurant
they were going to, but he flaked out, and later that night got an
accidental call from her on his phone. Did she want him there as
backup when she broke up with MM? We may never know!</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Now that he remembers everything, Green
announces that he just 'stumbled' onto MM's network during the
lockdown, and heard MM bragging out killing his sister! Then he
announces that remembering is worse than not, and wants to be locked
up. Again, not sure you actually committed a crime there, buddy.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">That night, two more guards are lured
out to the panic room couple's home, and as predicted, the killers
murder them while the couple watches from their hiding place! Oh, and
they're wearing face paint that confuses digital cameras-</p><p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9NnZnkX2pGT_fhSaql5lc_co1ccDkWldyQQb7223fIzAvdwR3DdVIxGzkZoYKRjz6ATzX2TUDUHIeOILM5G69Xtst_05VqE_AM3Ux2CUmMUerKRoav6XvQ7YFSkM4aSSsa0pGXPZkqXPpQK54FC1KHyYGoRBimHKlxu_Gl3Func0ss706MGV0_qAy-Q/s1699/bandicam%202022-12-10%2016-16-20-914.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="730" data-original-width="1699" height="137" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9NnZnkX2pGT_fhSaql5lc_co1ccDkWldyQQb7223fIzAvdwR3DdVIxGzkZoYKRjz6ATzX2TUDUHIeOILM5G69Xtst_05VqE_AM3Ux2CUmMUerKRoav6XvQ7YFSkM4aSSsa0pGXPZkqXPpQK54FC1KHyYGoRBimHKlxu_Gl3Func0ss706MGV0_qAy-Q/s320/bandicam%202022-12-10%2016-16-20-914.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">I wonder if Penelope will be able to
decode that?</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">I feel like the security guards should
have been way more cautious – they mention things being dangerous,
but they're not acknowledging just how dangerous. Literally one day
earlier someone in their area lured security guards out to be
murdered while manipulating the the security systems. Yet the minute
they arrive at the house they split up so that they can be more
effectively killed, which is exactly what happens.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">The team arrives at the house just
before SWAT breaks in, which creates a problem. We're told that SWAT
arrived three minutes after a 911 call – but Germantown is 20
minutes north of DC, and Quantico is 20 minutes south – no matter
how many traffic laws they broke, it would have taken JJ and Tara at
least half an hour to get to the scene. Were SWAT just hanging around
outside until then?</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">They secure the house and discover the
killers are long gone, having left the security guards in the panic
room, and presumably kidnapped the owners, although we never actually
saw them in the house.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Tara, JJ and Joe talk over the details
of the case – Tara mentions the face paint that fools cameras, so
that's neatly explained! Although, I've got to ask – wouldn't that
only work on low-resolution black and white cameras meant for
surveying large areas with fisheye lenses? Wouldn't home cameras be
much higher resolution and likely in colour? I'm far from an expert
in this area, of course, so this could be 100% accurate.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">They make a strange statement,
announcing that since the killers were performing the same acts both
nights, the choreographed killings must be recreations of something
that happened to them. Now, I haven't checked the numbers, but
something along the lines of 70% of the killers you caught performed
the same choreographed actions over and over again, and in maybe
three of those cases it was because they were recreations of
something that happened to them. So this is a hell of a leap.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">The team gives their profile – it's
probably two brothers in their twenties who suffered a trauma related
to home invasion! At the same time the killers are waiting for people
to leave a house before breatking in to menace a sleeping woman
inside!</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">The killers are quickly identified –
a house was broken into 10 years ago, and the father of the family
dragged one of the sons inside with him before locking the door. Two
murderers threatened to kill the mother and other son if they didn't
open the door and bring out the money hidden inside, but the father
refused and the mother was killed. So presumably the guy who left
just now is the father and the woman who's going to be threatened is
the new wife?</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Yes, that's exactly what's happening,
but the team gets there in time to arrest one brother and shoot the
other. Interestingly the guy who doesn't get shot threatens to cut
his own throat, but can't go through with it. So I guess MM wasn't
that great at picking out suicidal people after all!</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">So... we never got an answer about what
happened to the couple that canceled their flight. Seems like a weird
thing to never mention again.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Joe talks to the surviving brother, who
claims to know nothing about the frat! So despite there being a
missing starter kit within twenty kilometers of where this murder
happened, this had nothing to do with MM!</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Now we check back in on Luke and Green
who have apparently been hanging out this entire time? Luke wasn't
anywhere near the case of the week – never even stopping by to help
out with the profile, which is a little strange. Green backed up all
of his communications with MM, and he offers to turn them over so
long as Garcia is kept out of the case – he can't trust her. Still
waiting to hear what you wanted her to do with the transponders,
Green.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Now it's back to Jr and JJ, and we're
following up on the insurance agent scene – he did a physical and
may have cancer! While I feel personally betrayed by this, I'm blown
away by Josh Stewart's performance in this scene. Just a master at
work.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">THE END</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">So, how useful was profiling helpful in
solving the crime this week?</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">4/10</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">We finally got a positive number this
year! That said, the idea that they could have made the assumption
that the killers were recreating something that actually happened to
them was a crazy reach – and since a search for similar crimes
would have led them directly to the killers much faster, I can't only
appreciate the team's work so much.</p><p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />Seriously, though, what
happened to the couple whose flight was canceled? Given that the
killers' entire motivation was about people hiding in panic rooms
while their loved ones were murdered outside, how did that not come
up in the episode?</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Also, why did the killers attack a
second set of security guards? I understand doing a single test run
to make sure that the plan would work, but why not go straight to
your actual target after the first killing? It's almost like the
killers knew how Criminal Minds episodes are structured!</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Hopefully we'll get back to MM next
week, in what might be the mid-season finale!</p>Vardulonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17821844774999740966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9114808246459538090.post-68554927125003280782022-12-10T10:58:00.002-05:002022-12-10T10:58:37.280-05:00Criminal Minds 1603 - Moose<p> It seems that Garcia’s fears about activating the trackers
causing problems in the investigation was fairly overblown, because the episode
opens with the team chasing a killer through the woods – their quarry carrying
a serial killer starter kit as he flees. Those things are bulky as hell and
kind of heavy. Maybe just ditch it?</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I’m guessing they were able to track him down because, like
three of the four killers we’ve seen so far, he just kept the kit in his house,
meaning they have a map to a dozen serial killers’ residences? I’m sure we’ll
find out soon enough.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The killer runs to a
car on a nearby access road and climbs in – the show goes out of its way to let
us see this logo on the case-<o:p></o:p></p>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIC4IIlyLn8IpO7VBXRceSQAD7GwiZYrrisiWBAmhqkFP8JXgN8y1MZDKflytMU-tEMoh4OXriBbb-7VdKoEQkv1X4gSHA2OMoYQkF3RKeJh5kGnnClczlo6B-Jb9hVfK-Tc5m72US_EV05KgyGOFCOcnvYaPArYE5qY-F4G6oP3Pk5yAGDxb8D3seOw/s1728/CRIM%201603%20(9).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="731" data-original-width="1728" height="135" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIC4IIlyLn8IpO7VBXRceSQAD7GwiZYrrisiWBAmhqkFP8JXgN8y1MZDKflytMU-tEMoh4OXriBbb-7VdKoEQkv1X4gSHA2OMoYQkF3RKeJh5kGnnClczlo6B-Jb9hVfK-Tc5m72US_EV05KgyGOFCOcnvYaPArYE5qY-F4G6oP3Pk5yAGDxb8D3seOw/s320/CRIM%201603%20(9).jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
<p class="MsoNormal">Which I’m wondering if I just missed on the other cases, or
if this is a new thing. So I went back and checked, and yup, it's there! Either way, using a traceable case is a really bad idea
for this kind of thing. You know, what with it being a serial killer toolkit.
Losing a little respect for the Mastermind here. First he forgets to tell the spine
slayer to kill his victim, and now he’s using traceable cases? Weak, dude.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Anyway, keep an eye out for the name ‘HAEBERLIN’, it might
be important later.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The killer gets maybe ten feet in his car before he’s boxed
in by squad cars. The team tells them to let him run – they need to take him
alive! They think that if he feels like he’s about to be captured he’ll shoot
himself in the head, which is exactly what happens.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Got to ask, though – what exactly was the team’s plan? Let
him keep shooting at people until he ran out of bullets and then hope he didn’t
have a knife to stab himself with? Spoiler alert – there’s almost certainly a
knife in that starter’s kit. If these guys really are this determined to kill
themselves, once you blew the element of surprise, he was dead. Just be happy
that’s one less serial killer on your list – 11 more to go!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Then, over in Seattle, MM is trying to teach his daughter to
play basketball! Is it weird that they didn’t tell us where the first scene was
taking place, so we could cross it off the map, which is something I’ve just
now decided I want to do?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">MM is decent a pretending to do good parenting stuff by
tutoring his daughter in basketball, but the minute his daughter is out of
sight he drops all pretense of being a happy person – even sinking a free throw
bring him no joy. Which is just shocking. Will he soon visit that cashier he
has locked up somewhere, or was that a terrible prediction on my part?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">More cute family stuff with his wife and two daughters, and
then MM hops on a computer to pay his bills – which he’s unable to do because
there’s no money in his accounts! That’s what happens when you spend all of
your time running a non-profit serial killer mentoring program instead of
actually having a network security company. Although I guess this kills my
theory that he’s independently wealthy and connected to SOAR as an investor!
He’s also not doing anything for profit the way the last two serial killer
rings were!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">A teen and his dad show up at the door selling magazines to help
fundraise for the school, and we learn that MM’s name is Mr. Voit – which I
feel like was the name of the 2005 killer from the first scene of the first
episode, although that could be the subtitles getting confused again, like they
did with the Josh/Steve situation last week. Provisionally we’re going to guess
that MM is maybe the original killer’s son?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Anyhoo, MM fantasizes about killing the dad of the teen,
then heads into his garage to check on his own starter kit, which yes, does
have that same super-prominent logo on it. A little embarrassed to have missed
that the last two weeks! Also MM is getting worse and worse at this, it seems.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">He takes out his phone and checks out his surveillance
camera – it seems that it’s not the cashier he kidnapped, but rather the dog!
Who he decides to torture by playing music super-loud! This dude is
compellingly weird. Did he murder the cashier and take the dog to remind him of
her, or was this a straight-up dognapping?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">After the ‘credits’ the episode proper starts up in the
evidence hangar, where Joe and JJ are shocked at the sheer size of MM’s murder
frat. That said, they’re making excellent progress – check out this image:<o:p></o:p></p>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJwmcMiATrYjgq3XTKnjh3JL-krkHBcGiIP9fPlGesBj1eIWP7K1OyPsxeB0kkm3szvY_0qmIwJFasXtVpCuzOGfv7gaWuj3oNs4uGRXlr0IQykU_70Uvcjy5KxOiCfSXm4ygQnOCiJtPoJ6Fx7zusFbUJ_E_Kod104rWMSou84UQmu0Q53d8glBeprw/s1728/CRIM%201603%20(7).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="731" data-original-width="1728" height="135" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJwmcMiATrYjgq3XTKnjh3JL-krkHBcGiIP9fPlGesBj1eIWP7K1OyPsxeB0kkm3szvY_0qmIwJFasXtVpCuzOGfv7gaWuj3oNs4uGRXlr0IQykU_70Uvcjy5KxOiCfSXm4ygQnOCiJtPoJ6Fx7zusFbUJ_E_Kod104rWMSou84UQmu0Q53d8glBeprw/s320/CRIM%201603%20(7).jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
<p class="MsoNormal">That’s ten cases we can see in the shot. 1 from the
container, 1 from the spine slayer, 1 from RJ, and presumably 1 from the guy
who just killed himself. This implies that since last week they’ve either
caught or gotten significant leads on seven serial killers, counting the guy
from the intro. Which is maybe their biggest week ever? I know we’re supposed
to be terrified of MM’s serial killing frat, but it kind of seems like all he’s
done is gather up a bunch of killers and put radio tags on them like you would
a goose whose migration patterns you were tracking?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Is MM the most effective serial killer hunter the show has
ever presented?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">We get a scene of Tara and her girlfriend in the elevator,
and the dialogue is about how great the commute to Quantico is from Tara’s
place, where she slept the previous night. She comments on how much more
convenient it is than fighting Beltway traffic – although that suggests she
literally lives inside the beltway, and if that’s true, taking the 395 or the 1
is a way better route out of the city, and should have almost zero traffic,
since everyone else is trying to drive into the city at that hour.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I’m repeating myself, of course, because I’m fairly sure
Emily once complained about the same thing, so let’s move on, because this is
really just Tara’s GF’s way of hinting that they should move in together. Tara
is, of course, afraid of commitment – let’s not forget that the character was
introduced breaking up with her fiancée because she was more interested in
chatting with serial killers than her future husband. Of course, the real
reason that she doesn’t want the GF to move in is that having another person
around all the time will put a crimp in her own serial killing plans, but
that’s just a theory that I believe with every fibre of my being.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Seriously, though, how great would it be if the
end-of-season cliffhanger hook was that Tara had a starter kit of her own?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">When she gets off the elevator, a woman walks up to Tara and
asks for information about the ‘Sicarius’ case – so I guess that name went
wide, even though there’s no way it ever would? She’s annoyed that all of the
families of victims from the containers have been gathered in a single room for
hours without any information.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I’m mad about this too – I guess I was assuming all of the
victims were from the Washington State area – did the FBI fly them across the
country? Maybe Bailey is right to question how they’re spending their money at
the BAU.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In a clunky bit of exposition, we see JJ asking Garcia about
the fact that she was sent all the transponder codes by some guy. How does she
not already know about this already? She’s been criss-crossing the country for
the past week based on those codes, there’s no way she doesn’t know where they
come from. Maybe she could have just asked if there’s any leads on who sent the
codes?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">There’s a cute line by Garcia about how she shouldn’t assume
the leaker’s gender – but the modulated voice from last week was either male,
or designed to make someone sound stereotypically male, so it’s fine to accept
their presentation at face value for the moment.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In a super-cute meta-moment, Joe doesn’t want to say
Sicarius, because he suddenly cares about nicknames (but you know that he’s
going to write a book called “Sicarius” the moment the case is over”), and only
calls the head of the organization ‘Fuckhead’. Despite the fact that this is a
streaming show, Garcia is in no way comfortable swearing, which is delightful.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Garcia has found the site where the killers communicate,
which should be pretty helpful, but instead of focusing on concrete leads like
IP addresses of people they haven’t caught yet, the team starts rambling about
how MM is finding the killers to recruit. They have no good theories – although
they do wonder how he’s got people to join a suicide cult so effective that
every single killer they’ve come close to catching has offed themselves.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Which seems a little odd – no one was like ‘sure, take me
in, for better prison conditions I’ll rat out this serial killer cult I’m in’ –
what does he have on them, exactly?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">It seems that the container victims were from as much as a thousand
miles away, and all were ‘low-risk’ targets, which is what they call people
whose lifestyles make them easy to kidnap and kill without anyone realizing
their missing.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">(EXAGGERATED SIGH)<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I legit can’t believe we’re 16 years into this show and
they’re still getting this backwards. The risk in this statement refers to the
lifestyle of the victim, not the chance of the killer getting caught. These are
all HIGH-RISK victims. Then again, they recently mentioned a cooling-off
period, which is a term that shouldn’t exist in Criminal Minds, where every
killer is a spree killer, so it’s not like this is a complete surprise.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Tara’s idea for a lead – she and Luke will track down who’s
making the starter kits. Which they should have been doing already, but whatever.
The funny part of this line? She suggests that this is going to help them
figure out where the network is going to ‘strike next’. Which it absolutely
cannot do. MM has been seeding them all around the country, so knowing where
the kits are coming from has no conceivable way of giving you a lead on where
or when a killer will strike.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">That said, it could certainly help you figure out who’s
running the frat, which is way more useful information that tracking down a
single killer.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">‘Strike next’. Come on, Tara, you’re supposed to be better
than this. Okay, I don’t know what I’m basing that on.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Okay, turns out things are going less well than I’d hoped –
we see Emily talking to Bailey, and it turns out all of the cases with
transponders in them were still buried except for three? And those three were
only dug up between the alarms going off and the cops arriving to find them?
So… spine slayer was literally the only active killer that the source gave them
a lead on? That’s… odd.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Bailey is happy the kits are being snatched up, and sanguine
about the idea of serial killers offing themselves before being caught – but
Emily points out that if they keep doing that, the team will never get any
leads on MM! Bailey points out that since this is a domestic terror cell, the
anti-terrorism task force should be brought in, but Emily thinks that’s a bad
idea since doing so would let MM know what methods the government is using to
track him?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I have no idea why she thinks this, or what she’s talking
about. Does Emily think that the FBI talks loudly and publicly about all of the
stuff it’s doing to catch domestic terrorists? Because, spoiler alert… that’s
not a thing. It’s kind of assumed in every fringe organization – from
eco-terrorists to hardcore neo-nazis – that FBI informers are everywhere, at
all times. But they think that because of the COINTELPRO files that were stolen
by that church group, not because the FBI tells people that’s what they’re
doing. Officially the FBI doesn’t admit COINTELPRO exists.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Bailey makes it clear that he doesn’t think the BAU can
handle this on their own, and Emily snarks behind his back as he leaves,
because she’s 12, I guess?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Back at MM’s house, it turns out his older daughter has
gotten into private school – which MM is stressed about, because they absolutely
do not have the money to pay for that! He points out that quarantine ate up all
of their savings, which is both something that happened to a lot of people, and
something that makes zero sense for what this character seems to be. What I
mean is, during quarantine, huge numbers of people got laid off, yes, but an
enormous number of people started working from home, which, despite the overall
negative effects on the global economy, actually created MORE work for network
specialists. I know some people who work in IT, and they spent 2020-2022 busier
than they’d been when they were actually going into offices.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">That said, it could be that this is a John List situation,
and MM’s personality problems make him unhireable and he just pretended that
the plague was causing him to not have work, because that makes more sense than
a network security specialist – which he actually seems to be pretty good at –
going broke during the pandemic.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I mean, I know he was probably spending all of his time and
money setting up the frat, but how out of touch is his wife that she wouldn’t see how weird it was that they weren’t making money for those two
years?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Garcia and JJ talk more about the messaging app – basically
MM built 4chan for serial killers, or, to put it another way, 4chan.<o:p></o:p></p>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4d3PvMsoRHF5EHJda_bwnsrFZsCCPsaJN3SNzp-l2pIwl1CYdS6iIve1AMTRz3wlwFT-9Q5jxa20FXY4U47gbig4gsYV8j1iv6j3XZil8KP2_Bcv7MhDhYyEhosZwHa703JFUL8E7B9TlKbjZpzcSqNfwc1Ct4eAt9RjhmyV2LmHOm3v3sU1N55SW6A/s1728/CRIM%201603%20(3).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="731" data-original-width="1728" height="135" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4d3PvMsoRHF5EHJda_bwnsrFZsCCPsaJN3SNzp-l2pIwl1CYdS6iIve1AMTRz3wlwFT-9Q5jxa20FXY4U47gbig4gsYV8j1iv6j3XZil8KP2_Bcv7MhDhYyEhosZwHa703JFUL8E7B9TlKbjZpzcSqNfwc1Ct4eAt9RjhmyV2LmHOm3v3sU1N55SW6A/s320/CRIM%201603%20(3).jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
<p class="MsoNormal">I’ve been playing a bunch of ‘The Devil In Me’ so when I saw
Gethungry1893’s name I immediately assumed it was connected to HH Holmes’
mythical reign of terror, although it’s almost certainly not.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Apparently the forum has over half a million members, so it
seems that MM created a safe space for the worst people on the internet to
congregate, and then read through their posts until he found a few guys who
seemed like they were ready to go live. That’s a reference to the original
screenplay that was turned into terrible movie suspect zero, which is
essentially a 100 page version of this entire season of television. More
importantly, just as it was a completely believable way to encourage serial
killers in that story, it makes perfect sense here. These sites radicalize
people into mass murder in the real world, so it feels really accurate to have
them encouraging serial killers on the show.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In what’s the most baffling goof I’ve seen in ages, Garcia
literally goes from saying that she’s identified two people they’ve seen before
to saying ‘here are the three guys we know about’. Weird. Although this could
be an editing thing, and they weren’t supposed to catch the third guy until
later in the episode, and they couldn’t reshoot the intro?<o:p></o:p></p>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU3CyrDyIPsytfeQrNakkCgaAqZ-l2ddAGDzrJwGeOGHlMNd4yhv49P803glaI7anGaVJoO9mNbPr8oOhy9mwHyOfH1_ZTB_zaMdbYgJs2q-fuzKSVXFVEvyfZzfFqcRhq3NkJFMFHtM8hGi9c-6Tcfa5kYlfdw3Q4F3FmRc9x--tIf-2iZo5JCZPF9A/s1728/CRIM%201603%20(2).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="731" data-original-width="1728" height="135" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU3CyrDyIPsytfeQrNakkCgaAqZ-l2ddAGDzrJwGeOGHlMNd4yhv49P803glaI7anGaVJoO9mNbPr8oOhy9mwHyOfH1_ZTB_zaMdbYgJs2q-fuzKSVXFVEvyfZzfFqcRhq3NkJFMFHtM8hGi9c-6Tcfa5kYlfdw3Q4F3FmRc9x--tIf-2iZo5JCZPF9A/s320/CRIM%201603%20(2).jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
<p class="MsoNormal">I think it’s safe to say there’s a minor continuity error in
the image here, because they’ve got the bull killer asking if anyone knows
about a paralytic he can use for his murders. But the way they identified him
is that he used the same drugs he was treating his own back injury with to drug
people. Although maybe he’s such a dummy that he needed to be told he could do
that? He didn’t seem like a particularly bright guy, after all.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">It turns out they all talked with MM, who goes by user45125,
which, fun fact, is the zip code for part of Cincinnati, Ohio! Probably not
relevant.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In addition to being riddled with typos, his bio states that
he wasn’t born this way, and that someone showed him how to be a Beast.
Presumably he’s talking about container guy here, who was the original killer.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Garcia gets a list of everyone MM has been chatting with –
it’s over 17 thousand people, but at least it’s somewhere to start!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Also, can I just say how amazing it is that we’re over a
third of the way into this episode without dealing with a specific ongoing
murder? This is almost completely uncharted waters for the episode – they’ve
only done this twice before… like… ever. I’m counting flashback episodes as
‘ongoing crimes’ for the purposes of this list I’m making, BTW.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">It’s back to Elias Voit, which we learn is MM’s real name,
getting fired by his boss – and he has to return the company car! The boss
points out that business isn’t coming back the way they thought it would.
Although, as a great sales engineer, the boss is sure he’ll be able to find
work. So I guess he’s not an IT security specialist? Sales engineers are
basically salesmen who understand the in-depth technical aspects of a product
that they’re marketing. Everything about this guy confuses me.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Outside the daughter is talking to the magazine kid about
how he should also apply to a better school, but the father doesn’t think it’s
a good idea. He’s like a cartoon of what people think a right-wing scumbag is,
saying she only got into the school because of a need for diversity. Which, you
know, if they wanted to go this way, maybe cast the daughter as mixed-race and
the wife as literally anything but white? The dad is literally the type of
person who would unironically say ‘beta cuck’, so at this point the show is literally
trying to get us to root for MM to kill him? Weird play, show, but I’m
interested to see where this is going.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">MM gets on the phone with Benjamin, another killer who’s
part of the frat. Apparently MM charges them money for helping them figure out
how to commit crimes without getting caught? So this really is a franchise
situation, as I talked about on the podcast last week. Neat.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Ben wants to kill someone right away with the new tools he’s
got, but MM says that someone else gets to do a kill first – also, apparently
he’s shutting down the network and moving things to a new system because the
FBI is on to them. Which is pretty smart, actually.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Okay, things get super-confusing, as JJ and Garcia think
they have a lead on MM – they think he’s burying the starter kits well in
advance, and then choosing killers based on what’s in the kit? Like he’ll have
a kit prepped for breaking into houses, and he’ll wait for someone who wants to
do that, and then tell that person about that kit? This seems like a terrible way
to operate, because you’ve got to pick a guy who both has a specific fetish and
also lives in the part of the country where you buried that starter kit?
Doesn’t it make WAY more sense to recruit a specific person and THEN bury the
kit for them so that the two of you never meet IRL?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Also, the show tries to backfill the plot hole I just
noticed, by saying that the Matador (get it? He kills BULLS. How are they not
calling him this?) used a special paralytic IN ADDITION to the pills he got for
his back. I see what you’re doing, Criminal Minds.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Okay, this is AMAZING – they’re assuming that the starter
kits are all based on the ‘how to kill people’ methods that the container
killer was experimenting with, so the idea is, and follow along with me,
because this is CRAZY – each kit has tools for a different method of killing in
it, and they figure that if they can find out which methods of killing are
missing from the kits they have, then cross-reference that against the
fantasies of the people that MM is talking to, they can come up with the three
owners of the missing cases.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Why do I find this so hilarious? Largely because one of the
ways he established killing people was putting poison spiders down their
throat, thus suggesting that one of the cases they already have is full of
spider eggs.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">So they identify the ‘types of murder’ that came up in
container guy’s diaries that aren’t represented in the ten cases they have –
and they are, drumroll, please…. acid, strangulation, and fire. Here’s the
thing about that, though – every kit we’ve seen has had rope in it, so how can
you say people aren’t ready to strangle? And you don’t need something from a
kit for fire, you need a can of lighter fluid, which you can get literally
anywhere. Every one of the kits is a potential strangulation or fire kit.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The acid is a decent observation, though, I’ll give them
that! And since Garcia literally just mentioned someone talking about
dissolving a body in acid, maybe that’s going to be relevant?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Back to MM, who’s frustrated about the guy who insulted him
in front of his daughter. But he can’t just kill the guy, can he? Of course he
can, or at least that’s what the episode is suggesting – because he got sent
the twenty thousand dollars he wanted, and told the guy where his kit was, even
giving him a specific target to kill. Well… that’s new!<o:p></o:p></p>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEin9DIT-u3l6pO7KQcjSHvWUWihUbQWDj5_x-5N7RUO-jg2emKJPGcqUcBM00Wy5wWL84X7zYPdkSBkc1oiCcZYl-kGDrM7VKj2MqbxWnzgntGy0G3m--gA4VveKJIRaToNWFaLz13ubC7wUBfJrUn0_de9cVwGEe8BzKdSzTHXrN2wAIMXFEoBsG_SNg/s1728/CRIM%201603%20(1).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="731" data-original-width="1728" height="135" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEin9DIT-u3l6pO7KQcjSHvWUWihUbQWDj5_x-5N7RUO-jg2emKJPGcqUcBM00Wy5wWL84X7zYPdkSBkc1oiCcZYl-kGDrM7VKj2MqbxWnzgntGy0G3m--gA4VveKJIRaToNWFaLz13ubC7wUBfJrUn0_de9cVwGEe8BzKdSzTHXrN2wAIMXFEoBsG_SNg/s320/CRIM%201603%20(1).jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
<p class="MsoNormal">Oh, and the kit is for making remote controlled firebombs.
But will they actually burn the neighbour to death, or is this all a misdirect?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In Quantico, Garcia has found a guy who loves burning people,
and talks about waiting for a ‘customer’ to burn to death. Joe says that means
he’s a military vet with PTSD. His basis for this? He doesn’t say – hopefully
that comes up later, because it seems like a reach. Maybe it’s military lingo
that the people you drop bombs on or fire mortars at are called ‘customers’?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In a twist, Garcia isn’t able to illegally hack into the
department of defense, so Tara has to call her GF for a favor! I should
probably learn this character’s name if she’s going to keep showing up. Great
piece of acting by Aisha Tyler, who realizes that all the favors she keeps
asking for means that she’s going to have to get closer to her GF, which she is
very reticent to do.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">GF drops by with their killer’s file – apparently the people
who spot drone strikes call the CIA or DoD ‘customers’ because they’re the ones
hiring them to kill people! Long story short, a guy who the military hired to
kill people went off the deep end and started putting videos of the aftermaths
of bombings online! So he must be the killer!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Meanwhile MM has flown to DC, which is where the firebomber
is! So he is not killing the neighbour! Phew.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Bailey wants to bring in antiterrorism, which is, you know,
a completely reasonable thing to do, because they’ve got a mad bomber in the
nation’s capital. Joe is reticent, because…?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The bomber heads towards his target, and texts MM that he’s
going to want to see the explosion. I’ll say this about MM – he is not good at
staying hands off about this whole thing. The FBI has already spotted the
bomber, and even have a sniper ready to shoot him if he tries to set off the
bomb! The team isn’t worried about innocent people getting killed, they just
want him alive so he can lead them to MM! But can he? All he can say is that he
paid money to a bank account and picked up a starter kit. And all of that
information will be on his computer and phone whether he’s alive or dead, so
I’m not seeing the issue.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">There’s a strange scene where the domestic terrorism people
don’t want to arrest the guy for no clear reason, so JJ and Luke simply tackle
him before he can set off his bomb, and MM walks away, sad because he didn’t
see anyone die.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">That night Bailey gives a press conference telling everyone
about the frat because he wants the attention – I don’t actually think this is
unbelievable, the FBI and DoJ do hugely unethical things for PR reasons all the
time, and this is right in line with that. What I don’t understand is why the
BAU thinks this will hurt their case. They’re saying that the frat will go
underground if they know the FBI knows about them – but A: They’re already
underground, and B: they already know the FBI is onto them. Remember last week
when you turned on all the transponders, dug up all the cases, and got one of
the guys to kill himself? Yeah, they know you’re on to them. How could they
not?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Bailey takes Joe out of the lead position in the BAU because
he had Tara ask Rebecca (that’s the GF name) to illegally use DOJ info to catch
their suspect! So Emily puts herself in charge of the BAU, because we knew that
was going to happen eventually. Emily than insults Bailey because he’s never
shot anyone on the job. To which I’m like… uh… what do you think the FBI is?
They almost never shoot anyone. The vast majority of FBI agents are lawyer and
accountants. Yes, everyone needs to know how to shoot, but the kind of work the
FBI does rarely involves high-speed chases and running gun battles. I feel like
your experiences have given you a very warped view of your own job.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Then there’s a nice scene where Tara asks Rebecca to move
in! Hopefully she’s okay with all those people tied up in the basement.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Here’s the twist- the mad bomber wasn’t a killer at all! He
was trying to lure MM into the park so that he could find out who was behind
the frat! Yes, he paid the money and bought a bomb, but then he poured the
explosives down a drain and filled the container up with dish soap! That’s
right, everything the team did just ruined the work of a guy who was literally
seconds away from catching MM! Also, they’re holding him for having a bag full
of soap, so that’s going to be a lawsuit!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">It turns out the guy’s sister was killed by the container
guy 15 years ago, and he’s been looking for the killer ever since. But also he
murdered people for the government and posted corpse photos online. Dude went
hardcore to get a lead on the killer! But, of course, none of that other stuff
can be in any way related to hunting MM, since he didn’t start the website
until a couple of years ago.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I’m confused. Oh, and he’s the informant who reached out to
Garcia. How did he breach the network, I wonder?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Then it’s over to MM, who’s complaining about how people
can’t follow instructions! He’s tied up a guy who looks like his neighbour, and
has Moose, the adorable pupper, murder him – apparently he’s been training the
dog to attack when the music plays! So that’s a nice end to the episode! They
got us to a point where we’re on the killer’s side in wanting him to kill the
neighbour, but then reminded us that he’s a bad guy by having him kill a
stranger!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I was skeptical about spending so much time with the killer
this year, but it’s actually working really well so far!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">THE END<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">So, how useful was profiling at solving the crime this week?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">0/10<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Yes, I know that they reverse-engineered the idea that the
killer would use fire in an attempt to narrow their suspect pool, which is
neat, but they weren’t hunting a killer, and actually screwed up the bomber’s
(whose name is Green, for when we meet him next week) plans to catch and kill
MM.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Although that wasn’t a great plan either, since why on earth
would MM, after building up a giant apparatus for killing people by proxy,
suddenly show up to watch a bombing in person?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Baffling. Unless he suspected that Green was the mole, and
he was actually travelling to DC to see if he actually firebombed the target,
and kill him if he didn’t? That would make sense, actually, so let’s assume
that’s what they’re going with.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">See you next week!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Oh, one more thing -</p><p class="MsoNormal">Is Elias Voit Moose? What I mean is, we're introduced to Moose when the woman says that he's a harmless cutie who wouldn't hurt a fly. Now, an episode later, MM has turned him into a vicious attack dog. Remember, his bio on the website said that he didn't start out a monster, someone turned him into one - and we still have the question of the container killer from the first scene of the season. The team thinks that's who's burying the cases and running the frat - but we know it's actually MM.</p><p class="MsoNormal">So is this a situation where Container Guy kidnapped Voit and locked him away, torturing him until he was ready to start killing people, and he's recreating his own trauma in his treatment of Moose?</p><p class="MsoNormal">Or am I, as usual, reading way too much into things?</p><p class="MsoNormal">Maybe we'll find out in episode 4!</p>Vardulonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17821844774999740966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9114808246459538090.post-54019606148979222442022-12-01T00:51:00.003-05:002022-12-01T00:51:27.580-05:00Criminal Minds 1602 – Sicarius<p> And we are back for episode two of
season 16! It's called Sicarius, which is either a reference to the
Latin word for Assassin, or a kind of spider! Thanks, Google!</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Things start in a hospital type
setting, where a killer has a guy named 'Josh', according to the
subtitles, lying on a gurney. Weird that he has a name – is he not
getting killed during this scene? Anyhoo, the killer – who is
wearing a black tank top, abandoning the whole 'doctor' vibe, the
Todd notwithstanding – flips Josh over and cuts off his shirt with
a pair of clothing shears. He's got a whole tray full of recently
sterilized instruments ready to go, in fact! At least, I hope they're
sterilized, it's not like he's wearing gloves or anything, so who
knows?</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">The killer puts a cameraphone down in
front of Josh's face to record his reactions and the experience –
and we see that he's sliced open Josh's back, revealing that his
spine has been revealed by cutting the skin and flesh back. The
killer tells Josh that he has a choice to make – presumably it's
'die or live paralyzed from the neck down', but that's just a guess.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Continuing the trend of showing us how
team members start their day, we start with Penelope's morning –
which is a sharp contrast to watching Joe stumbling around, trying to
shake off a hangover. Penelope starts with a workout, makes herself a
breakfast smoothie, and then tries to decide which glasses she wants
to wear today. She picks one that's perfect for her outfit, and she's
good to go! Weirdly, I'd always thought she started with the glasses
and built the outfit around them. Who knew?</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">She then gets on a skype call with some
people who work at her social networking site SOAR – MM is not one
of them, but that doesn't mean my theory that he's involved is wrong
with it just yet!</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Then it's over to JJ, who's forgotten
that she and Jr. had a date night planned! And instead of letting
things fester, Jr. reminds her that she needs to put in work on their
relationship. Because he's an adult, and that's why we love him.
Also, he's still working as a cop, and they just got back from
Louisiana – that was not a long assignment for her!</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">At the office Joe stumbles in,
obviously hung over once more – it seems that his revelation that
he needs help last week hasn't exactly borne fruit just yet. In a
nice touch, the case they're working on was actually mentioned last
week, when JJ talked about a body with a severed spinal column being
dumped at a rest stop! I'd forgotten that until she mentioned the
dump site here, which means I'm going to have to start upping my game
– it seems that Criminal Minds is now interested in setups and
payoffs in the week to week episodes, not just relating to the
overall plot!</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Although the spinecutter will probably
also be related to the overall plot.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Luke points out how weird it is that
the victims are good looking men in their mid-30s, which isn't a
common victimology. Joe says that it's more frequently the profile of
the killers – which I'm choosing to interpret as a hilarious
in-joke, because almost no serial killers are good looking men in
their 30s in the real world, but basically all of the serial killers
on the show are.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYdMABOHGHQI6Zy_mknN0Y9WkKboBBLZLN8KmDk4wWGrb0sxtEM1lq0PS6A0AHDKsC73zKPWq9UG0yx9C7sr1xniZvG-SbWMAEt_xxRhE-dHtqPRgFuxznyOLucgLr_mAGlt-r5uGHFUqjBmDSLzNxamaq_CUVcInQuxippm0cAuaVSnbOhItgKNf2CA/s1698/bandicam%202022-11-26%2001-06-02-089.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="727" data-original-width="1698" height="137" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYdMABOHGHQI6Zy_mknN0Y9WkKboBBLZLN8KmDk4wWGrb0sxtEM1lq0PS6A0AHDKsC73zKPWq9UG0yx9C7sr1xniZvG-SbWMAEt_xxRhE-dHtqPRgFuxznyOLucgLr_mAGlt-r5uGHFUqjBmDSLzNxamaq_CUVcInQuxippm0cAuaVSnbOhItgKNf2CA/s320/bandicam%202022-11-26%2001-06-02-089.jpg" width="320" /></a></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">No one mentions that the two guys look
uncannily similar.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">JJ mentions that the two men had
something in common – they both were on dating apps listed as
'bulls', men who will have sex with a guy's wife to satisfy a
cuckolding fantasy. JJ's jumping the gun by suggesting that they were
'targeted' because of this – although that suggests, as Joe brings
up, that it could be a man wanting revenge for his wife cheating on
him! Or it could just be a convenient way to lure a guy to a
secondary location so you can kill him. That said, in this kind of
kink community, you think that they'd have to meet at a neutral
location first to check that everything was on the up and up. Or
maybe not? I have no idea what dating apps are like.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Now things get a little weird, as JJ
says this might have a connection to last week's case, because both
unsubs switched cars in Walmart parking lots – Luke suggests that
this week's killer could be Rory's theoretical partner. Here's my
question – how do we know about the 'car switch'? One man was
dumped in a rest stop, the other in a field next to a fence
somewhere. Are they saying that the victims' cars were dumped in a
Walmart parking lot? Because if that's what you mean, say that.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">More importantly, though – dumping a
car in a Walmart parking lot is not enough of a connection to suggest
a linkage between these two cases. That's just a good parking lot to
use, because it's so crowded you're guaranteed not to be noticed.
Now, if those Walmart Parking Lots had also had their security
cameras disabled by MM's serial killer starter kit device, that would
be a good connection. But again, if you mean that, say that.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">This is like when Joe was all 'a man
was dumped in the woods with pieces of his skin cut off! It must be
the work of the serial killer who dates middle-aged women, cuts their
faces off, and then burns down houses to cover up his crimes!' The
crazy part is, he was wrong, it wasn't that killer – it was his
BEST FRIEND.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Next we see that the shipping container
has arrived in Quantico – Tara talks Emily through their plans to
scour it inch by inch, looking for any of the killer's DNA – and
also identifying the victims! Wait... they left the victims in the
trailer when they moved it? You know there were bones in there,
right, and there's no way to move a container across the country
without shaking it a LOT? Maybe take all of the corpses out first,
then secure and ship them separately?</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Also, now that it's been moved, we can
see that there was dirt piled up around the sides of the container to
help conceal it – but again, it was by no means 'buried' – at
best you could say it was 'sunken' into the hill. Buried means the
only thing visible is the door that you use to get in. And a strict
definition would mean that door would have to be at the top.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">The terrible deputy director shows up –
I guess we're going to be seeing a ton of him, so we'll use his name
'Bailey' from now on. He's not psyched about Emily taking the case –
and when she points out how absurd that is, he doesn't have a good
answer. The question is again raised – incompetent or evil?</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">If he's this bad at his job or corrupt,
how has there not been a joke yet about how he was appointed by
Trump?</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Then it's over to Whitfield County
Georgia, where MM is showing us what it looks like when you actually
have a BURIED LAIR.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZFitFw_d2mjXXSJiVIlppCYpSf3l02JcsPPJngDKm1kIoH1WZJERoyMnuHej5z-mMts8vzqK9fGqy1YkyZtT2WSCel_oIn-oCXr0fN2hMk_lH0aG7hJjKDFKzU_o7KjsPrppUKNLdGHo3Qm52IF_9eCzDgc1pTy0mZ3KvGGDTe6GTnB9dgINnv_c9fQ/s1698/bandicam%202022-11-26%2001-27-37-981.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="727" data-original-width="1698" height="137" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZFitFw_d2mjXXSJiVIlppCYpSf3l02JcsPPJngDKm1kIoH1WZJERoyMnuHej5z-mMts8vzqK9fGqy1YkyZtT2WSCel_oIn-oCXr0fN2hMk_lH0aG7hJjKDFKzU_o7KjsPrppUKNLdGHo3Qm52IF_9eCzDgc1pTy0mZ3KvGGDTe6GTnB9dgINnv_c9fQ/s320/bandicam%202022-11-26%2001-27-37-981.jpg" width="320" /></a></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Now that's what I'm TALKING ABOUT!
BURIED FTW!</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">MM gets a call from someone on his
encrypted phone – yes, it's the same encryption software as RJ's
phone that he destroyed last time. Someone sends him a video from DC
– it's the snuff film from the previous night, and as predicted,
the guy's choice was quadriplegic or death, and he chose death. Which
is a real dumb move. It's 2022, dude, and we're getting closer to
nerve growth and spinal reattachment every day. Then again, he does
live in America, and may not have insurance.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">MM confirms that the killer did
everything according to the 'rules' for getting away with serial
killing, then gets back to work!</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">So it looks like MM is running a serial
killer fraternity, where he teaches dudes to be serial killers, and
then they send him snuff films of their crimes to show off. Which is
why RJ from last week had body cam footage of the parents' murders,
even though that's obviously not something he was into.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Then we get a look at MM's bunker-</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-kGlGJ8yIRDX1_TnsYZqUK49OrpU560WCoHDSZ51yUbGKQB7kfjMM3QWHxuGMnBVzieB5X-k8ZkzjYCrm6gwe8n-0-kCx2IDdJi94famXwMphFv3tKBN8te6WvjQFPMSmmz4LsZKblgMoxRGxM60dpA3l2NKKi8FJF8ZDTh2CX4FUtuiCI7mh3zL0yw/s1698/bandicam%202022-11-26%2001-35-27-780.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="727" data-original-width="1698" height="137" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-kGlGJ8yIRDX1_TnsYZqUK49OrpU560WCoHDSZ51yUbGKQB7kfjMM3QWHxuGMnBVzieB5X-k8ZkzjYCrm6gwe8n-0-kCx2IDdJi94famXwMphFv3tKBN8te6WvjQFPMSmmz4LsZKblgMoxRGxM60dpA3l2NKKi8FJF8ZDTh2CX4FUtuiCI7mh3zL0yw/s320/bandicam%202022-11-26%2001-35-27-780.jpg" width="320" /></a></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Which bears a striking similarity to
2005's guy's setup, right down to the body shelves. Did he set up
that guy's bunker when he was like 20 years old, or was that guy the
original killer that inspired MM? Did he try to kill MM, and MM wound
up recruiting him?</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">JJ, Luke, and Joe go over the case –
there's no overlap between the women that the men had sex with, so
it's not likely that it's an angry husband looking for direct
revenge, but they're going to investigate one of the women anyway,
because they have no other leads – the woman in question? A real
estate agent who's married to a DC city councilor!</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Penelope has something mysterious going
on! She gets an anonymous message saying that they know how SOAR was
compromised, and send a block of code to be Penelope's 'REVENGE'.
This is the first we're hearing about any of this. The only person we
know of who compromised SOAR was Penelope herself, last week when she
let the FBI read members' private emails.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Hey, where is SOAR's money coming from?
Are the teens paying for it? Penelope's ethical stand suggests she's
not harvesting marketing information from them. Is MM putting up the
cash, like I suggested last time?</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Penelope scans the code, and it turns
out to be GPS coordinates – two sets! The first: 38.9847, -77.0947
is a women's clothing store in Bethesda, MD, the second: 39.1456,
-76.4908, is the backyard of 7732 Bowen Rd, Pasadena, MD. I hope the
show got everyone's permission to use their addresses!</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Nope! Penelope searches for them, and
it turns out that one is supposedly the address in Alexandria,
Virginia where the parents were murdered last week, and the other is
the hotel where that lady who's married to the city counsellor had
sex with their latest victim!</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">One question, though – why do their
faces turn up when she searches that address?</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxlg2_nxdTQUpxJQxUBky9FMfnZOZY8jYYqQNcT44u1tgIdtG5YYHC3vSPzrJalkppRgxwAcNVRkvgqaQxcK75RyvO5aPQlOJI7KTV-VI4QRAlnuP5_ghkJRN8kljBpif9cWFyEsEp3SwKCQbHpGWdmyZAYSgE5Za7FUZN3BahfYTI5YqO-QHRazdlvA/s1698/bandicam%202022-11-26%2001-51-36-163.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="727" data-original-width="1698" height="137" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxlg2_nxdTQUpxJQxUBky9FMfnZOZY8jYYqQNcT44u1tgIdtG5YYHC3vSPzrJalkppRgxwAcNVRkvgqaQxcK75RyvO5aPQlOJI7KTV-VI4QRAlnuP5_ghkJRN8kljBpif9cWFyEsEp3SwKCQbHpGWdmyZAYSgE5Za7FUZN3BahfYTI5YqO-QHRazdlvA/s320/bandicam%202022-11-26%2001-51-36-163.jpg" width="320" /></a></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">The reason I ask is – I get why RJ's
photo and the newspaper article about the killings shows up when you
put in the first address – it was heavily covered in the news. But
the only people who've connected the husband and wife to that hotel
are the FBI – it's not a public story yet, so why do their faces
come up when Penelope searches the hotel's address?</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">I'm sure the answer is 'they wanted the
audience to know that this was related immediately', but the
implication is that Penelope is searching the FBI's database for
anything connected to those GPS co-ordinates, which is hugely
illegal. Also, it's a nice hotel in DC – I can't imagine that this
is the only news that would come up that was related to it.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">The team interviews the husband and
wife – he wanted her to cheat and send videos because it arouses
him! But last night the killer sent him a video of the murder
instead! And they didn't go to the cops, because they didn't want to
screw up the guy's political career. Can't trust politicians, people.
The politician tries to withhold the video because it will damage his
career, but JJ points out that he's covering up for a serial killer,
which is a worse thing to show up in the news than you enjoy your
wife cheating on you.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Then it's over to Emily and Tara, who
find out from Bailey that the cost of moving the shipping container
is coming out of the BAU's budget, which they're shocked and offended
by. Um... why? The BAU demanded the case, and the BAU ordered it
would be moved – where did they think the hours and money was going
to come from? Nonetheless, they think something is up with Bailey
persecuting their unit, so Emily asks Tara to call her friend at the
Justice Department and find out what's going on with him!</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">We drop by the container, which proves
to have zero of the offenders' DNA in it – apparently he bleached
everything, all the time. In one interesting note, he never killed
people the same way twice – it's almost as if he was experimenting
with every way you could kill a person to find the best one!
Including pouring Sicarius spiders down someone's throat! So the
title WAS about the spider! Neat!</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">So, I was wondering if there was a
third victim, because I didn't get a clear look at the guy who got
killed at the start, and while the characters call the corpse Steve,
the subtitles call him Josh. So hopefully my confusion makes sense.
They finally get a link to RJ and the container when the video shows
the starter kit on the guy's shelf!</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">This is a problem the show has – this
should have been the reveal that there's a connection. It's a perfect
moment in the show for this to happen. We're a third of the way
through the story, the characters are all working on different cases,
and then BOOM – they find a clue that forces them all to come
together as they realize that they're working on the same case! The
problem is that the producers seem to be afraid to show the
characters being surprised by anything. It's like they always want
them to know what's going on, and that just kills drama. There was no
reason for them – or us - to assume that this spinal slayer was
connected to a guy who kidnapped a teen last week, so it would have a
nice reveal for us when we see MM getting the video, and for them
when they see the starter kit. But we get robbed of that reveal by
having the characters just announce there's a connection based on no
evidence – it's as if they think that because the audience knows
about the connection, they're going to be annoyed at the characters
for not already knowing everything that they know.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">When, you know, that's the heart of
good drama – what's a scarier situation – having a character walk
down a hallway and then have a guy with a knife jump out and make a
loud sound, or having a guy with a knife standing behind a doorway,
and we watch as the person slowly walks down the hallway towards
them?</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Alright, enough structural criticism,
let's move on to Joe's assumption that the pandemic created the
network of killers, because they were frustrated that they couldn't
go out and hunt! Okay, again, there weren't actually any lockdowns
for more than a couple of weeks, and none that really would have
impacted serial killers, but let's give them this one, before
addressing the bigger issue... how? That's the real question – how
did MM let potential serial killers know that he was organizing a web
of murderers with him at the center?</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Get it? That's what the title of
the episode means. Also the literal spiders.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">There's a genuinely chilling scene of
MM going over all of the photos his proteges are sending him, and
there's so many of them that it seems impossible that they'll all be
caught by the end of the season. Just so long as we don't end up with
an ending like the CSI trilogy, where they spent three episodes
building up a human trafficking cartel so huge and powerful that
entire governments trembled in fear of it – and then they arrested
a single pimp (played by Morgan Sheppard!) who coincidentally knew
the names of and had evidence on every single member of the cartel,
allowing the whole thing to be taken down off camera over the course
of like two text messages.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">How am I still angry about that
terrible set of episodes?</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Gotta say, though, MM doesn't seem like
he's putting together a super-professional organization here. He's
supposed to be training people to get away with crimes, but the two
cases we know about so far are an emotional cripple who immediately
abandoned the frat and killed himself, and a dude who sends snuff
films to friends of his victims that show off his kill room.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">It's worth noting that the protege
scene is essentially a carbon copy of the 'bidding' scene from Season
10, episode 1, where we're introduced to the serial killer victim
procurement ring – which turned out to just be three people in a
van?</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">I'm super-happy that they're actually
going through with that story this time, and doing it right!</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">At the office, Joe and Emily talk about
what might motivate the person making and distributing the kits, who
they assume is the guy from the container – given the show's
established reticence with letting the characters know less than the
audience, is this the rare instance where the characters are saying
something incorrect, or does MM have a boss, the killer from the
teaser in the first episode?</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Tara then arrives with her friend from
the Justice Department. Apparently Bailey is best known for cutting
staff and saving money, then blaming everyone else when things go
wrong. So a pretty generic corporate goon. He thinks that this is his
fast-track to becoming the attorney general! Which seems like aiming
low. That's a political position that lasts, at most, eight years,
and then you can't really get another job afterwards outside of
joining a prestigious law firm or something along those lines. Now
Director of the FBI – that's a sweet job. You have to do
surprisingly little, and you get to blame the AG for everything that
goes wrong!</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Tara's friend agrees to ask around in
the hopes of finding out what Bailey's specific problem with the BSU
is – they generate a lot of good PR for the Bureau, so why does he
specifically have it in for them?</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Oh, and Tara is dating the lady from
Justice. Who I guess doesn't mind being in a relationship with a
psychopath?</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Then we shift over to MM on his Johnny
Murderseed expedition, headed into Tennessee! He gets a call from
the spine slayer, who wants permission to continue killing – but MM
tells him to hold off until he's sorted something out. MM says that
someone took something of his, and he has to make sure that doesn't
happen again. Who could that have been? Was RJ using a stolen case?
Is this a computer thing? Also, MM's frustration at dealing with the
spine slayer's neediness is wonderful. You can tell that while he's
loving all the snuff films, he's hugely regretting having to spend
all of his time managing emotionally unstable people.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Oh, and I should have mentioned – in
a cute note, the spine slayer's kill room is decorated like it's
supposed to be a chiropractor's office, which is a really nice touch.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">MM buys a bunch of duct tape and
wiring, then starts chatting with the cashier, a girl named Tawny.
She has enough lines that we'll almost certainly be seeing him come
after her later! Maybe in this episode? He refers to working in
'network security', and with the breach into SOAR just having been
mentioned earlier this episode, the plotlines are converging more
quickly. Oh, and Tawny has a German Shepherd named 'Moose', who she
says is too friendly to be a useful security system. Why did you say
that to the serial killer, Tawny?</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">The team talks about the possibility
that MM is a computer expert on Garcia's level, because he was able
to get the city councilor's phone number, and he knew where and when
the women were meeting their lovers. Except... did he? We've seen
zero evidence that the killer stalked them at their rendezvous', and
we still don't know how and when he abducted his victims. And it's
not that hard to get someone's cell phone number.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">They adapt their theory about the spine
slayer a little – while talking nonsense about 'alpha' and 'beta'
males just to prove they know extremely little about psychology. They
point out that since the men often send porn to the husbands as part
of the domination kink, the killer's sending the video to the
councilor's phone could be seen as an act of domination – does he
see himself as a 'bull' as well? They'll have to go to the websites
and start profiling the victims' contemporaries!</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Penelope then calls Joe and he rushes
over to get the data – she explains that there's 13 more encrypted
sets of coordinates in there, which suggests 13 more victims,
possibly unidentified ones! Joe confusingly says that this must be
partially about Garcia – which isn't the confusing part, the
confusing part is that he says that 'they' have pulled her in twice.
Um... it was you guys that pulled her in the last time. But her
getting sent the files the moment the team learned about MM's web of
killers is definitely too suspicious to be coincidental.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">They don't address the big unanswered
question, though – if that's the case, how did the web KNOW that
the team had identified their network of serial killers? It hasn't
been reported in the press – so only people in the BSU and their
direct supervisors know what they're working on...</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Penelope confronts Joe about his need
for therapy – and they talk about Crystal's diagnosis, so maybe it
was cancer? He's resistant to getting therapy, because all of these
damaged fools are, but Garcia talks about how much it's helped her,
and honestly delves into how much psychic damage is caused by the
work they do!</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Fantastic scene, no notes.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Now the spine slayer breaks MM's rules
and kidnaps a woman he lured to a parking lot! The team gives us some
info in the next scene that's just baffling - we're told that he
dumped her car in a Costco parking lot... but why would he do that?
He was already in a secluded parking lot with her. Why not just put
her in his car and drive off? Why drive her car all the way to a
costco, transfer an unconscious person from one car to another in a
super-public place, and then leave the car there? Also, how is he
getting to the abduction sites? Does he park his car in a box store
parking lot and take a cab to the place he's going to grab someone? A
bus? That's just asking to be spotted and remembered. You're adding
extra steps to an abduction and gaining nothing by doing so. It's not
like you're disguising the abduction site – there are text messages
on the woman's phone, telling her where to go.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Also, are we supposed to believe
that he was transferring the unconscious men from car to car in
Walmart parking lots as well? That's INSANE.
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Especially when we learn their next
theory – the drug he's using as a paralytic is employed, in smaller
doses, to treat pain from back injuries! What if the killer is
spine-obsessed because he had a spinal injury, and lugging all of
these huge men around is messing up his back, so now he had to grab a
much lighter woman instead? Joe points out that back injuries can
cause erectile dysfunction – and if the spine slayer defined
himself only be the sex he was having, he could now be filled with
rage if he can't perform! He suggests they bring in the woman's
husband and describe who the killer might be – he's sure they must
know him somehow!</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">The husband immediately identifies
their guy – a 'bull' who recently had a motorcycle accident and
couldn't work any more!</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Then it's over to Garcia, who's
meditating, just like she told Joe she'd recently gotten into! She
gets a request for security help on her work laptop, and doesn't want
to do it, but can't help herself, because, in a way, she's just as
obsessed as the rest of them.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">She picks it up and opens a chat with
the guy who sent the coordinates. She said that she gave them to the
FBI, and the voice is annoyed, saying that she was the only one who
could help, but now people are going to die because she went to the
authorities.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Um... dude? If you don't want her to go
to the authorities, tell her that. If the stakes are life and death,
TELL HER THAT. This is on you, pal.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Sadly, Penelope doesn't say any of that
to the guy, she just looks worried. Which I get.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Oh, and the killer has brought the
latest victim to his office. Will the team save her in time? Usually
they do, but this is on streaming now, so who knows?</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Penelope goes into the office and we
get a cute little montage of her unlocking the other 13 locations!
Then they cut to a diagram of the shipping container:</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguhdSpLMdDa3K44OWOQH5owlWqOMa_jyXGpA0QwXfZJrs3ou8TtaTPC-vsMt9tdtW_Wf8TZv_H0b-zQlhOA5E07mLoARGYm0l8uwGn25r1BJZLQFT2gllVS9hehdk2mQsDPt2lzm-iZhGWt6k4IIjyPFmsUrr4UsIRF7yaMXNXXdw1VnUIjGuD5Y-pQQ/s1698/bandicam%202022-11-26%2011-01-36-667.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="727" data-original-width="1698" height="137" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguhdSpLMdDa3K44OWOQH5owlWqOMa_jyXGpA0QwXfZJrs3ou8TtaTPC-vsMt9tdtW_Wf8TZv_H0b-zQlhOA5E07mLoARGYm0l8uwGn25r1BJZLQFT2gllVS9hehdk2mQsDPt2lzm-iZhGWt6k4IIjyPFmsUrr4UsIRF7yaMXNXXdw1VnUIjGuD5Y-pQQ/s320/bandicam%202022-11-26%2011-01-36-667.jpg" width="320" /></a></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Which is kind of hilarious in a couple
of ways:</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">1 – We were told that there were 16
bodies, not counting the box of bones, but there's clearly 17.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">2 – there's a typo: “asoriginally”</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">3 – Why would you note that it wasn't
used as originally intended? It's a container for storing things.
That's what it's doing.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">4 – They say it's 'retrofit for
survival', which I guess is a reference to it being weatherproofed so
that it could survive years in a field, but that's not super clear.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Things then get a little funny when
Tara hears a beeping inside the trailer – the starter kit proves to
have a tracking device set in it under the foam! We were told that
they scoured every millimeter of the trailer for DNA... and they
didn't bother checking under the foam in a box? Or even removing the
murder supplies from said box? Come on, team, get your act together.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">It seems that the codes Garcia put in
are the transponders on the starter kits that people use to find and
dig them up! The guy on the internet could have been clearer – the
first two codes were, I guess, proof that he knew about the murders,
and the rest were the locations of cases? So is that what was stolen
from MM? The transponder codes for all of the cases?</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">We get a look at MM's project –
setting a bomb to blow up his lair and destroy all of the evidence
inside. Then he gets an alert on the Spine Slayer – real name
Robert Harris – and he's obviously troubled that the guy wasn't
following his directions.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">He phones up Robert and tells him that
he got sloppy – not killing at a secondary location or pausing when
told to. I'm not sure how he knows Bob isn't at a secondary location
– he says that it's because of the beeping, but that's just the
transponder in the kit being active, there's no reason he couldn't
have the kit at a secondary location. In fact, he should – keeping
a serial killer starter kit in your own house is a great way to get
caught. MM tells Bob that he knows what he has to do, but Bob says he
can't do it – MM says he'll walk him through the process.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">So is part of the deal with joining the
frat that you have to kill yourself if compromised? It seems so,
because the team rushes in and finds Bob on the ground with his
throat slashed. And his victim, Michelle, is still alive? That's
weird. Now there's a witness to MM phoning Bob and telling him to
kill himself. Super-sloppy there, MM.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Back at the office, they report that
Bob killed himself, and says that there was nothing in his profile
that made it seem like he was suicidal – just like RJ.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Point of order – RJ's suicide was
absolutely predictable. He was an abused kid living in a fantasy
world, full of guilt and self-hatred, faced with the realization that
the girl he loved thought he was a monster. Also, he killed himself
BEFORE he knew the cops were on to him. You suck at profiling, guys.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">They do correctly guess that it's part
of the frat deal that you kill yourself rather than getting caught –
but Joe's not worried, because they know the location of 12 other
cases! Penelope then comes out and tells Joe that 'this is bad'.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Before we can find out what she means
by that, we see Tawny and her pupper sitting on a couch at home,
while MM lurks in the bushes outside!</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Turns out the 'this is bad' is the
transponders going offline. I don't know why they're surprised that
this is happening – you turned on a signal that made all of the
cases loudly beep, did you think the killers were just going to let
that keep happening? Spoiler alert: eventually people just take the
batteries out of the smoke detector.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Penelope asks if she just made things
worse, which is silly – now you have a lead – 12 cities with
killers in them. You didn't have that this morning. Interestingly,
the cases he's been hiding in Georgia and Tennessee are not on the
map:</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjB_v7LpAOcoh16gar7Cf2-rZ05ns-Qx6KFw-JICcP3W-nNk6N8so2xBVVqJjkYsnm9hF9Dapq34Y7NonF7jUFzra_l2un071y_HgA1Wu6LDHYeUH9HoIU4xo5hdpTyp2S1aH_mnk16txuW_FsZtVXk6V9SZHULEKhUcKJAvXXmwCTDTZa4jyyrr0AVTg/s1698/bandicam%202022-11-26%2011-24-40-153.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="727" data-original-width="1698" height="137" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjB_v7LpAOcoh16gar7Cf2-rZ05ns-Qx6KFw-JICcP3W-nNk6N8so2xBVVqJjkYsnm9hF9Dapq34Y7NonF7jUFzra_l2un071y_HgA1Wu6LDHYeUH9HoIU4xo5hdpTyp2S1aH_mnk16txuW_FsZtVXk6V9SZHULEKhUcKJAvXXmwCTDTZa4jyyrr0AVTg/s320/bandicam%202022-11-26%2011-24-40-153.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">So did he stop using the transponders
at some point, or did the deep throat-style character just not have
all of the info?</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Now that she sees how bad the situation
is, Penelope realizes she's going to have to come back to work, and
Joe doesn't have the guts to just straight out ask her. Another
beautifully written and acted scene between them!</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Then Joe calls his hotel and says he'll
be checking out. Time to get serious about his life. Which is a nice
touch. Garcia finds a post-it she left for the next person to use the
office – which turns out to have been her! No idea what it says,
yet.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">MM drives home to Seattle, dumps things
in his own starter kit, and we're horrified to learn that one of
those things is the collar from Moose, Tawny's beloved dog! There
wasn't a transponder signal from Seattle, so it's safe to say he
didn't mark his own case, because why would he?</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Then we meet MM's wife and find out
he's got daughters! So yes, this is inspired by the Israel Keys story
that was mentioned earlier in the episode. He was a serial killer who
lived in Alaska and only killed people after flying to the lower 48
and driving far enough that there was no possible connection between
his flight and the place he robbed or people he killed. It's been
hugely adapted, of course, but the idea of a guy having a basically
normal home life and then heading out of state to kill is cribbed
from that real-life true crime tale.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">We get another scene with JJ and Jr,
where she makes an effort to put their relationship first! Yay! And
they're directly tying in the relationship issues with both the case
of the week and what the killer's got going on in his own life! This
is great work by the episode!</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Then we find out what's going on –
Bailey wants to shut down the BAU and reorganize it to focus on
domestic terrorism! Given the right-wing's plan for a violent fascist
takeover of America, this seems like a really good thing, actually,
and I'm not sure if I'm on the team's side vis a vis chasing serial
killers. Like, obviously they're a problem, but Trump being made
god-emperor and all of congress being publicly executed seems like
the bigger issue, don't you think?</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Oh, and Penelope's back working at the
FBI! Yay!</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">How useful was profiling at solving the
crime:</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">0/10</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">The killer kidnapped someone he knew,
and brought her back to his house. Not exactly a brain-teaser. Yes,
they were able to describe the killer's likely injuries to the
husband to help him figure out who the killer was – but even if
they'd just said to the guy 'do you know anyone from the cuckolding
community who might have a grudge against you and other bulls?', the
husband would have immediately said 'our old bull was injured in a
motorcycle accident and had to stop working'. So they would have
gotten to him either way.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Wait, but if they used profiling, why
did it get a zero? Simple: the guy killed himself based on the source
sending Garcia the tracking information, and him getting a call from
MM. If the team hadn't ever talked to the husband, here's what would
have happened – Bob would have killed himself, the drugs would have
worn off, and the wife would have called the cops to come and get
her.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Two zeros in a row, Criminal Minds –
that's weird... right?</p>Vardulonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17821844774999740966noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9114808246459538090.post-47341477822166964832022-11-25T18:06:00.000-05:002022-11-25T18:06:09.599-05:00Criminal Minds 1601 - Just Getting Started<p> Okay, haven't been here in a while? Do
I even remember how to do this? The last time I wrote any Criminal
Minds blog-style reviews was when I did an insane sprint of writing
1-2 a day as I was trying to get the whole backlog done before the
last season started. So that's three years ago.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">What have I been up to since then?
Thanks for asking! The Profiling Criminal Minds podcast, which I
co-host, has also covered the entire show, including the spin-offs I
didn't write about here, like Criminal Minds Beyond Borders (hated
it) and Criminal Minds Korea (loved it). I've had a couple of movies
come out since then – any Come True or Butchers fans out there? And
obviously TheAvod has been chugging along apace, making it the
longest continually-running Canadian horror podcast in existence! Is
that a factual statement? I don't know – I didn't do the research!</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">I'm a little annoyed that in Canada I
can't watch the new episodes until Friday – but on the upside, I'm
working a regular job now, and if I could watch these on Thursday I'd
be up until the wee hours of the morning writing reviews, and be a
complete mess on Friday, so what I'm losing in timeliness, I'm making
up for in mental health.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Here's I know about Criminal Minds:
Evolution – it's on cable now, so it will probably be more brutal
and disgusting – Joe might even swear once or twice! Based on the
trailer the serial killers have teamed up online to coordinate more
effective murdering – is that a ludicrous premise, that sounds a
lot like the original script for Suspect Zero? Absolutely! Am I here
for it? Well, my favorite serial killer show of all time is Hannibal,
which is about a man who may or may not be the literal devil falling
obsessively in love with an FBI profiler, so it's safe to say that no
matter how crazy the Criminal Minds team wants to get, I'm here for
the ride.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Oh, and reportedly Matt Gubler and
Daniel Henney will not be in the season, because of a fatigue with
playing Reid and a commitment to the Wheel of Time, respectively.
They don't need to explain Reid's absence – he ended the last
seasons leaving to focus more on teaching, so why would he be there?
I just hope Matt Simmons has a respectful off-ramp. Is he writing
full-time? That would be nice.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Do I have any predictions for the
season? Nope. Do I have any requests? Absolutely: if there's a bunch
of serial killers teaming up, I would like one of them to be the
skull-handed child killer from the insomnia episode, which may have
been called 'Sleepless'. I'm still pissed that the show never got
around to arresting that guy.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">It's become apparent that I'm drawing
this out because I'm so nervous about pressing play on the episode,
so let's just jump in with both feet and get started! Without any
further ado, let's Criminal Minds!</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">The episode begins with a helicopter –
or these days, drone – shot of a truck driving through the woods –
is this meant to rhyme with the first ever shot of the first ever
episode of Criminal Minds, which was a helicopter shot looking down
at a city? Probably! The title card announces that this is Yakima
county, Washington, and it's 2005, the year Criminal Minds started –
is the guy assembling the cross-country fraternity of serial killers
going to have a backstory that ties in with the history of the team?
If so, that would be very intriguing, if only because it necessitates
people talking about Mandy and Hotch, of which I am very much in
favor.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">The truck driver stops his car in a
field, opens up the back, and goes through his murder kit. Is it fair
to call it a murder kit? Well, the contents are duct tape, night
vision goggles, and a couple of hammers, so you tell me. It turns out
he was looking for keys to a shipping container – um... you can
just keep those in your pocket, guy, they're not inherently
suspicious the way everything else in there is.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBHBF60HTWfeUmyxKZwWK-LhojWlm6N3TCet47M9BZdTCSCly4lSnxRUI5KtPKMR7kSSnPuEHiR9RB1Ov2eilOYWFZdMyreQBLTQpz2bX-yRDIX2PJqicRJdHSIcBDwgE7ca8li_lkr_R7pZxOThqOKAKRF7sWO_SQ9GZRCddEBDE7xlnkIXKByGZTpQ/s1728/bandicam%202022-11-25%2011-21-22-088.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="731" data-original-width="1728" height="135" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBHBF60HTWfeUmyxKZwWK-LhojWlm6N3TCet47M9BZdTCSCly4lSnxRUI5KtPKMR7kSSnPuEHiR9RB1Ov2eilOYWFZdMyreQBLTQpz2bX-yRDIX2PJqicRJdHSIcBDwgE7ca8li_lkr_R7pZxOThqOKAKRF7sWO_SQ9GZRCddEBDE7xlnkIXKByGZTpQ/s320/bandicam%202022-11-25%2011-21-22-088.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />Inside the container is a mini office,
with corpse trays, various gauges of wire, hanging photographs, and a
security camera monitoring station. Given that he's out in the middle
of nowhere, what are those monitors for? Security cameras around the
container? People buried alive?<p></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">The killer drags a young –
still-living man out of the trunk of his car and duct tapes him to a
wheelchair. You spent all of this money on a killer's lair but
couldn't be bothered to install shackles on a wheelchair? Weak, dude.
As the killer sharpens his knife on a grinding wheel, the victim
looks around, terrified – but doesn't scream or beg for his life.
Some impressive self-control, there. It turns out he's got suicide
scars on his wrists, which the killer taunts him about, asking how
much blood came out before he decided to change his mind. That's
inelegant – decided and change in the same sentence, but the point
is clear enough that the victim is able to respond with 'I don't
know.' The killer's rejoinder: “Well, let's find out!” And then
slices the guy's wrist back open.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">How are you going to find out? Is your
plan to let the guy bleed until he tells you that he remembers that
this is how woozy he felt when he tried to get help? Or is this just
something you're saying because you think it sounds threatening and
it doesn't actually make a lot of sense.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">We don't find out, because instead we
immediately cut to 2022, in Bethesda, Maryland – hey, that's where
FBI agents regularly live! Looks like the first victim (second,
really) will be right in the BSU's backyard! We see a killer in night
vision goggles sneaking into the backyard of someone's house while a
dog barks in the distance. He's obviously younger than the original
killer, but the goggles draw a connection between them, even if
they're not the same goggles from the trunk. Is this the killer's
son? Did he train an apprentice?</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">The killer uses a wireless device to
shut down the house's security camera – that's why you get a big
dog, people, they don't need wifi to operate. Although, seriously, if
your house's cameras are based on wifi you might as well tape a brick
to the wall. Copper wire for life, yo. We get a moment of the killer
menacing a baby – but is the show going to go that hard, that fast?
The killer then heads into the bedroom, where he uses his handy
wireless devide to shut off the baby monitor, which is clearly
branded as VTECH, in what seems like baffling bit of product
placement-</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgx4vhOBCCrT66uL1sfF_el0kCSPYe_jApipJcd-_eB66nmoj6fwoNsZ1pITjROnfI0PGxfDHKYrnDNyg7xTAV18YcJUTTT0LzgmUMs1bdXA-6fr5y-jNwoSpw_yfgxGbUEiE0hPAUBMXiXPI65dO1b_IC_uSpL7AlgFwWhGAHfsnHbiWgi2y_EVgDgMQ/s1728/bandicam%202022-11-25%2011-32-58-235.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="731" data-original-width="1728" height="135" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgx4vhOBCCrT66uL1sfF_el0kCSPYe_jApipJcd-_eB66nmoj6fwoNsZ1pITjROnfI0PGxfDHKYrnDNyg7xTAV18YcJUTTT0LzgmUMs1bdXA-6fr5y-jNwoSpw_yfgxGbUEiE0hPAUBMXiXPI65dO1b_IC_uSpL7AlgFwWhGAHfsnHbiWgi2y_EVgDgMQ/s320/bandicam%202022-11-25%2011-32-58-235.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />Buy VTECH – the baby monitor that can
be remotely disabled by a murderer after he breaks into
your house!<p></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Anyway, the sound of the parents
getting off-camera murdered wakes up a teen girl, who looks outside
to see what the sound was, only for the killer to sneak up on her and
grab her in the scene we saw in the trailer! Then we get-</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">TITLES</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">But no opening credits montage or theme
song, because it's 2022, and this is a SERIOUS SHOW.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Now we're back to Yakima county in the
present day, but instead of introducing the authorities via a bunch
of cars driving down the exact same road from the exact same angle to
create a parallel between them, we get a swooping drone shot on a
different road. Weird choice.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiz_dNU4fEV8tvh82oMs1SyK12NPR1jg31eDB2sVL8MapbMlrYiRRhxxIF_zIf7lxbtoG9nKlRg7Z8FyIQr7NhAaA-t5D5iqAfjOsW_Gxdk2ZB2xhX8IF3lM3WQ1H5kN2cX4kXs-q8tpVyvKBg4HBT_axahFrVszbx9VuqJwjY8TeqKs1gx46YSYCea5A/s1728/bandicam%202022-11-25%2011-37-15-554.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="731" data-original-width="1728" height="135" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiz_dNU4fEV8tvh82oMs1SyK12NPR1jg31eDB2sVL8MapbMlrYiRRhxxIF_zIf7lxbtoG9nKlRg7Z8FyIQr7NhAaA-t5D5iqAfjOsW_Gxdk2ZB2xhX8IF3lM3WQ1H5kN2cX4kXs-q8tpVyvKBg4HBT_axahFrVszbx9VuqJwjY8TeqKs1gx46YSYCea5A/s320/bandicam%202022-11-25%2011-37-15-554.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />Hey, does the Washington State police
drive awesome muscle cars? If so, neat! If not, this is not subtle
product placement.<p></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">It's Tara! She's here! Yay! If you'd
ask me who the first character we were going to check in on was going to
be, I'd have guessed Joe, and obviously I was completely wrong. That
said, with JJ moving to Louisiana, Emily chasing a relationship out
west, and Joe Mantegna probably not wanting to tromp around a field
in the middle of the night because he's too old for that kind of
nonsense, logically it was going to be Tara or Luke out here.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Tara looks over the trailer – there
are bodies stacked on the corpse trays, as well as a medical textbook
opened to a page on the human arm. So that really is the killer's
thing. Weird! The sheriff keeps talking about serial killers, wanting
Tara to weigh in on how weird this is, and I'm hoping she'll point
out that this isn't even top twenty of the craziest things she's
seen.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">The titles just told me Josh Stewart's
in this episode! He's my favorite actor, so obviously this makes me
happy.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Weird bit of dialogue – Tara asks who
owns the property, and the sheriff responds that it's Old Man Jarvis'
– but they don't know if it's his, or if someone 'buried' it. Which
is a weird turn of phrase to use, since this container was profoundly
not buried. Is that something you say? Why not say somebody dumped it
here, or hid it here?</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">There are dried out corpses, a chest
full of bones featuring four skulls – it's fair to say that they're
looking at over a dozen victims in this trailer alone. All men as far as I can tell, just
FYI. Was the guy hunting for a disciple by looking for people who'd
previous tried to kill themselves, thereby hopefully finding someone
disconnected enough from life to join his murder cult?</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">We hear that there was a couple of
years worth of overgrowth in front of the container, so the killer
hasn't been here for a while – I feel like Tara should ask exactly
when 'Old Man Jarvis' died...</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Tara decides she needs help, so she
calls Emily...'s office, which is now where Luke keeps his treadmill?
It's been two years and no one took over the office? Luke's too good
to use the building's gym? Is there a shower nearby? I'd say it's
unbelievable that there's just a bunch of empty offices to be
repurposed in Quantico, but the previous president kind of hated the
FBI, so there could have easily been a bunch of retirements with no
one brought in to replace them.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Will the show mention that their job
was made harder by the fact that the president was an open criminal
who insulted the FBI whenever he could? I'm guessing no.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Tara needs him out there because
there's 16 bodies, and it's definitely a serial killer. She predicts
the DEA will blame drug cartels, which would be weird, because this
is Washington State. That's not to say Washington doesn't have it's
fair share of murderous drug growers who'd need to dispose of bodies
from time to time, it's just that the government doesn't call drug gangs 'cartels' when they're made up of mostly white people.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">It seems the Luke can't go because he's
holding down the fort for Joe, who's off somewhere. Also they mention
that their plane has been 'benched'. So maybe budget cuts will come
up in the plot! It seems that Joe is busy in Virginia with a 'Family
Annihilator' – I'm guessing they're using that term wrong, as usual
– but is that going to be the same killer as the Maryland case from
the teaser? Tara suggests they ask Emily for approval for him to
travel, but Luke thinks that she's too busy with her duties since her
promotion.</p><p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Emily's been promoted? After getting all of those
agents killed two years ago? Wow, I guess a LOT of people have
resigned.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">It's over to Emily, who is managing
assignments of agents throughout the East Coast! A deputy director
shows up and they talk about why the team was split up – turns out
they solve more cases that way! Which isn't a surprise – spoiler
alert, having six profilers working on a case doesn't give you a lot
more insight than having one profiler on the case. Emily still misses
her team, though. Oh, and Reid and Matt are working on 'Undisclosed
Assignments', which I guess is all we'll be hearing about that for a
while. With Reid, that's nonsense, dude basically retired in the last
episode, remember? But Matt has a history of working... Beyond
Borders... so him being off doing something secrete makes total
sense.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">The assistant director is also
concerned that Joe isn't coming into the office, but Emily says that
he can't be bothered with things like 'running the BSU', which is his
actual job, because he's so busy trying to catch this guy who kills
entire families. Apparently it's happened a BUNCH. So they're going
with Manhunter, basically. Too bad there's no one living in jail he
can check in with about that... except for the Fox, obviously, but is
anyone going to remember him?</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">We check in on Joe, who has a
conspiracy board on the wall, hasn't shaved, and is obsessively
watching crime scene videos. Not a good look.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Then it's over to JJ and Jr., who
didn't move to Louisianna, after all! They talk about how fast the
kids are growing up – presumably they are still played by AJ Cook's
actual sons – and then we learn that she's looking into a murderer
in Silver Springs – which I just learned is a suburb of Maryland,
because it's featured prominently in the game The Devil In Me –
weird coincidence!</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Jr – being the best husband ever,
brings JJ some tea while she looks over the crime scene photos for
Joe while he talks about being sure the guy is going to kill again.
Then we get a hilarious cut, because the editor decided to put in a
sound effect of the call being disconnected even though everything
about the scene clearly suggests that they're going to keep talking
about this case.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="298" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/iD3K0bApSb8" width="358" youtube-src-id="iD3K0bApSb8"></iframe></div><br /><p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Now it looks like JJ got bored of
listening to Joe rambling and hung up the phone.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">The next scene is very cute, as Joe
wakes up to a call about the new murdered family, and is in such a
rush to get to Maryland that he forgets his badge and gun. Also, why
isn't he living at home? How did he screw things up with Crystal,
exactly?</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Don't worry, the baby's fine. Luke
thinks he's being merciful, Joe's not so sure, especially given how
brutal the deaths inside were. Then we get a slightly confusing scene
as Joe and Luke are confused about why search and rescue are there –
it turns out the daughter was kidnapped! Uh... how did Joe not know
this already? He just said that he was inside the house and saw the
brutality within. So he would have noticed the daughter's bedroom,
since it was one door away from the site of the murders, and likely
asked where her body was. This is information Joe should already
have.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Then Joe goes to confront the
grandmother who's looking after the baby. And instead of her being
freaked out or overwhelmed with worry about her missing
granddaughter, she gets a soliloquy about love and loss that's...
well, I don't want to say contrived and artificial, but it seems like
the kind of thinking you'd be doing weeks after a tragedy, not while
the only thing you can think about is WHERE YOUR OTHER GRANDCHILD IS.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Then it's over to Quantico, via an
establishing shot of the actual building, rather than the Capitol
Dome, so at least that's been fixed! The Deputy wants the whole team
on the kidnapping family slayer, but Emily thinks that the 16 bodies
– which she calls a 'mass grave' even thought it's obviously the
killer's lair – is the higher priority. The Deputy says they're
going to kick it over to the DEA because it looks like a Cartel
thing, unless, of course, Emily deals with the kidnapping effectively
– in that case he can pull some strings.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Emily calls Tara to get her back to
the East Coast, and they talk about the absurdity that this is
Cartels – there's an elderly couple in there, so it's obviously
ridiculous. Unless, you know, they were hikers to stumbled on a drug
farm or something. They talk about body preservation, and the
killer's records – we get another line about the killer keeping his
victims 'underground' for privacy. Again, they are NOT underground.
The moment she says this we're looking at a profoundly not
underground shipping container. It's just sitting against the side of
a hill with some bushes around it. Did the script call for a bunker
lair, and they didn't have the time to build that set, but then they
didn't change the script?</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggJhGkleOMhka7DDSKBl_7VzRbttiMQhfVQapEYnBfcXAyqFMaFd-QyO_5qBH5ymKtRMF5nicKJWDh82cB4yoMrQWPJoEg0dF96ZV-IiPC1zKqIl3zXT2VcCGuZmWMZsrdCEzgkrYVJqRAkgQVelBlglF-yPQPg0T2oNSyOBsZiMsZLB7x9S0sOh9T2Q/s1728/bandicam%202022-11-25%2012-23-44-639.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="731" data-original-width="1728" height="135" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggJhGkleOMhka7DDSKBl_7VzRbttiMQhfVQapEYnBfcXAyqFMaFd-QyO_5qBH5ymKtRMF5nicKJWDh82cB4yoMrQWPJoEg0dF96ZV-IiPC1zKqIl3zXT2VcCGuZmWMZsrdCEzgkrYVJqRAkgQVelBlglF-yPQPg0T2oNSyOBsZiMsZLB7x9S0sOh9T2Q/s320/bandicam%202022-11-25%2012-23-44-639.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />See – I'm not crazy. This is weird.
Also, what's going on with that interlocking eye symbol on the
top-left of the container. Is that the logo of the serial killer
frat, or am I reading way too much into tiny details? Tara says she'd
be he's revisiting the site – but isn't it worth mentioning that
it's pretty clear based on the brush and state of the lock that no
one has been there in years? They literally just told us that a
couple of scenes ago. We also get a look at the killer's surveillance
photos of the first victim –<p></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiP5A3aB3MGtzV8favJWgn2zsE_mXpTgfcSOZPNzEA9hECgSCPIyiXi_OxobKkwteKMinYwRwOKKgUzrG4A0D1hWvg5x3KxaThKFcUHgALQNkaO95owPKKNCys5MEWwY1RNSAyCecNpuwONA0ZO0zOcYz_Amz-kScfagsK-TPcL-yTH0etC-4Uh8thQw/s1728/bandicam%202022-11-25%2012-29-04-695.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="731" data-original-width="1728" height="135" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiP5A3aB3MGtzV8favJWgn2zsE_mXpTgfcSOZPNzEA9hECgSCPIyiXi_OxobKkwteKMinYwRwOKKgUzrG4A0D1hWvg5x3KxaThKFcUHgALQNkaO95owPKKNCys5MEWwY1RNSAyCecNpuwONA0ZO0zOcYz_Amz-kScfagsK-TPcL-yTH0etC-4Uh8thQw/s320/bandicam%202022-11-25%2012-29-04-695.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />-note the 'we didn't have time to go to
a location, so these were shot in the alley behind the studio' vibe.
Also that the first victim was likely homeless.<p></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">JJ and Luke look over some photos in
the house and decide that the MO is obvious – he's selecting
families with teenage daughters. But why did one get killed and the
other get taken? Also that's a bit of a leap, both of the families
also had sons – and in the first case both children were killed,
and in the second both lived. Yes, you can say that the daughter is
important because she was kidnapped, but the living baby son is just
as important a change in the MO as far as you know.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">While talking about the case, they
literally crib dialogue from Manhunter, talking about the father's
throat being slit and him rushing to protect his family as he was
bleeding to death and the killer taking out the biggest threat first.
I'm not going to be too hard on them for this, though – Manhunter's
great. Joe yells at the team for not getting the Amber Alert going
fast enough – Luke points out that you can't do that until you know
what car is being driven, but Joe doesn't want to hear it! Obviously
this case is taking a lot out of him – but why is it such a
priority?</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Back from commercial we see the killer
texting with someone about selling the teenage girl for ten thousand
dollars. OMG, we're doing the season 10 victim brokering thing again!
When I first hear about this season's premise I talked about how this
was the third time they'd attempted a 'network of serial killers'
thing, so I'm super excited to see if they pull it off this time!</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Is the new boss at the FBI in on the
murder ring? Or would that be too obvious. The last time they did
complicit higher-ups was the season 11 assassins storyline, which
was... well, I'm sure you remember.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Back at the office JJ and Luke talk
about how Joe is lashing out and it's making their jobs that much
harder. Also Luke swears, offering the first profanity in the history
of the show! It seems that Joe's processing grief, and taking it out
on everyone around him – so I guess Crystal died last year?</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Alright, the stupidest thing ever
happens. They get the security footage from a neighbour across the
street, and it shows the killer walking down the street towards the
house, then driving away in the family car with the teen tied up in
the back. You're telling me that no one noticed that the family car
was missing? The whole family was dead, and the garage was empty, and
not one cop or FBI agent picked up on that until this moment?!?</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Also, these are the AMERICAN SUBURBS –
no one walks anywhere. Entire towns are built without sidewalks to
specifically discourage people walking places. This guy walking down
the street in a hoodie is basically the most suspicious thing in the
world, and it's crazy no one called the cops. Basically, if you're
out at night in the suburbs, and you're not either walking a dog or
jogging, you're going to get the cops called on you.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">And where did he come from? Did someone
drop him off, or did he walk all the way from his place miles away?
That would be even more suspicious.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Back to Tara and the local Sheriff –
he suggests the killer died of COVID, since he stopped bringing new
victims in 2020. That's actually a really solid theory. Tara thinks
that it's more likely that it became too risky to grab new victims
since everything was locked down. I'm not going to make a big deal
about this here, since I'm sure it will come up later – but let's
just get it out of the way – this is a guy dragging homeless people
off the street and killing them. What paltry, minor lockdowns the
Pacific Northwest had would have done nothing to slow his ability to
find victims. The takeaway is – Tara wants the team to take over
the case – so they'd better find that girl alive!</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Gosh, I wonder if it's going to
turn out that the two cases are connected.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Back at Quantico, the Deputy director
says that they don't want to pay to move the trailer because it's
probably a cartel thing. Um... there's stalker photos of a homeless
guy that he killed, and boxes of jewelry as souvenirs. I know the
guy's supposed to be an idiot, but there's literally no evidence of
organized crime here.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Now things get weird – it turns out
the ten thousand dollars actually was about the car – some schlub
bought it from the teen in a Walmart parking lot that afternoon!
Apparently she just walked off into the parking lot after getting the
money? So how is the killer controlling her? Does she think he has
the baby brother stashed away somewhere? Also, where is the killer's
car? Did he walk from the Walmart? Oh, and the car sale was planned
two days earlier, so the killer is mapping things out fairly
long-term.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">It's a maybe not on the threatening
about the baby brother – we see the teen in the car with the
killer, who announces that she did what he wanted and now just wants
to go home. The killer gets a call from an encrypted number, and then
destroys his phone. It's visually implied that this is Joe using the
schlub's phone to call the killer's number – although if that's the
case, why would it show up as encrypted? That can't be what's
happening – Joe wouldn't be dumb enough to just call the phone,
he'd go get the number traced.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">At Quantico the team wonders how the
killer is controlling the teen – they assume it's a threat against
the family and she doesn't know they're dead, although pretending to
have kidnapped the brother is the better play. It turns out both teen
girls were on SOAR – a new social media site just for teens who
don't want to deal with creeps, stalkers, and ads. Could the killer
have stalked them there? They'll need Garcia to figure that out! But
they promised not to call her...</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Luke goes to see Garcia, who's in the
middle of a great british bake-off themed party. Time to backfill
some exposition – Luke and Garcia went on one date three years ago,
so they're not a couple. Sad. And they're going to her because she
built the security system for SOAR, so it should be unbreakable.
Unless, of course, the guy who owns SOAR is the one running the
serial killer fraternity, and he used Garcia's unbreakable security
format to generate a way for serial killers to talk to one another
without being observed by anyone? Maybe he started SOAR just so he
could non-suspiciously hire the best internet security people in the
world to build him a serial killer social media site without them
realizing what they were doing?</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">And that's why the killer was getting
an encrypted call and he destroyed the phone – the guy who owns
SOAR and KILL.NET is pissed at him for using SOAR to find victims,
because it risks exposing KILL.NET!</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Okay, now I'm just writing my own
season of Criminal Minds. Let's keep going. Luke emotionally
blackmails Garcia into helping by saying that the girls were
definitely targeted on SOAR – which he 100% does not know.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">It's a very cute scene, because the two
performers have great chemistry, but we learn something interesting
apparently the killer couldn't be older and experienced the way Joe
thinks, because you have to be under 22 to use the site. Unless...
maybe the killer is faking an identity to get on SOAR? How hard would
that actually be?</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">They quickly Skype with Joe, who's sure
the killer is older based on the sophistication and nothing else. He
yells at Garcia, and she understandably hangs up the call. She says
that no one but her has access to SOAR – so did she just build it
on her own? She and Luke start looking for teenage guys who have
problems with their family – because they're extrapolating that
he's killing his own family over and over again based on an abusive
childhood. Which, you know, fair.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">The killer brings the teen to a trailer
and, after leaving her in the car just long enough to watch a section
of the video in which her parents are about to be killed, he grabs
her and drags her inside.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">There's a scene of Joe and Emily where
she reaches out about Crystal's death, but we still don't know how it
happened, and he's not super-receptive. That said, he's willing to
admit that he's not doing his job, which is good!</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Now we get a bunch of profiling stuff
in a hurry – it turns out the first victims were all killed in and
around the daughter's bedroom, and the murder weapon was a baseball
bat that the father kept beside the bed. Um... how was this so hard
to profile? You were thinking it was your idea of what a family
annihilator is, but the guy didn't even bring a weapon with him to
the first murder? That should have been at the core of how you were
looking at this case!</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Turns out both teen girls talked to the
killer on SOAR, and he's a guy who claimed to be abandoned and was
was looking for his birth family. They've got his picture and
everything! So is SOAR'S thing that you have to use a video camera to
confirm your identity all the time so people will know you're
actually a teen?</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">The guy's name is RJ2003 or 2003RJ, so
that's initials and birth year, obviously. He mentioned in his texts
that he was from Maryland's eastern shore, so Garcia goes looking for
his family. She immediately finds land that was seized by the
government in 2007 when the parents died of Oxy overdoses, and the
state took their son RJ into custody. So now they've got a name,
face, and probable location for the killer! And all it took was
Garcia breaking a bunch of privacy laws!</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">The killer confesses that he's in love
with the teen, and that he killed her parents because they wouldn't
let her go to university in California – now they can go together!
Yikes. The team shows up with lots of guns, but before they get there
the teen hits RJ with a hammer, and his so disappointed to discover
that she doesn't love him that he shoots himself in the head.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">THE END</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Except the teen gets the gun and
threatens so shoot herself because she's full of guilt over getting
her family killed. Joe talks her down, and we get a happy ending!
Honestly, the whole thing seems super-contrived as a way to get Joe
to talk about his own emotional issues. There's no reason to think
that the teen would take the killer's word for it that her family was
dead and just kill herself in a fit of pique. Now, if he'd showed her
the video to prove that not all they had was each other, that would
be one thing, but no, nothing like that actually happened.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Still no info on how Crystal died.
COVID? Wildebeast stampede? Inquiring Minds want to know.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Turns out I was wrong – they were the
same goggles from the case at the beginning – turns out that RJ was
using the same murder kit as the killer from the container! There's
your connection, people! Then it's over to Tara, where we learn that
no, it's not the exact same kit – it's a standardized 'serial
killer starter kit' that someone is making and distributing! But
where did RJ find his buried? In an amazing coincidence, Tara manages
to see the matching kit on a news broadcast about the abduction –
which was apparently national news? So now they have to bring the
container back to Maryland!</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSFD7S0oGDM9COq0USyeb5_U1F11N-ASVcQV_LITHQnt1WfcAmkVvO3gARLqzWewuyJHEhn_jl5xcGe-ZtTTWIrQe8ft-iHmTsHFQ0dIxm9bcojakd5JxR14HS5fmbGEx_exEsrXHdApz4-zqmmWzPOPnS9NswCdxdXZVSMG7TwdYxsdfj_n7NMnu3QQ/s1728/bandicam%202022-11-25%2013-34-29-975.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="731" data-original-width="1728" height="135" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSFD7S0oGDM9COq0USyeb5_U1F11N-ASVcQV_LITHQnt1WfcAmkVvO3gARLqzWewuyJHEhn_jl5xcGe-ZtTTWIrQe8ft-iHmTsHFQ0dIxm9bcojakd5JxR14HS5fmbGEx_exEsrXHdApz4-zqmmWzPOPnS9NswCdxdXZVSMG7TwdYxsdfj_n7NMnu3QQ/s320/bandicam%202022-11-25%2013-34-29-975.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Then we cut over to the Mastermind
(hereafter MM, since we'll be seeing a LOT of him I'm guessing – he
even gets the end of episode quote), who's burying a case so another
one of his disciples can pick it up. Interestingly he doesn't look
old enough to have inspired the 2005 killer – was that guy the
original, and this guy franchised the idea after meeting him?</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">In 'the news only talks about the BAU'
news, the radio that's playing while he's burying the box mentions
that the shipping container was found in Washington state, and gives
the name of the killer they caught – which he's shocked to hear. I
guess this was the guy who phoned Rory earlier, although him being
pissed about the use of SOAR doesn't appear to have been the motive.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Also, the radio refers to the team
'unearthing' a 'burial site' – one more time for the cheap seats -</p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiT2vIq3z8KBjfkUexGC0xY6JCrpYLTRDZZZvzipmAurk7yckI5tRo9FQ73RtDAeJmoF6bkfd3pHowgIZih0oYG6DnKe7yOzzT3b0K0JE9G_6ydsQ-RlhNeJFcSf4S__8F5wVFNVtwyeKd9ZuIKl_6Uc-vI0e6B8w-dV0lBAd50WnJPY3-MESuvcWsh_w/s1728/bandicam%202022-11-25%2012-23-50-847.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="731" data-original-width="1728" height="135" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiT2vIq3z8KBjfkUexGC0xY6JCrpYLTRDZZZvzipmAurk7yckI5tRo9FQ73RtDAeJmoF6bkfd3pHowgIZih0oYG6DnKe7yOzzT3b0K0JE9G_6ydsQ-RlhNeJFcSf4S__8F5wVFNVtwyeKd9ZuIKl_6Uc-vI0e6B8w-dV0lBAd50WnJPY3-MESuvcWsh_w/s320/bandicam%202022-11-25%2012-23-50-847.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Vardulonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17821844774999740966noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9114808246459538090.post-62362512210876286622020-06-18T00:03:00.000-04:002020-06-18T00:03:19.723-04:00Sorry for the Scare!The Count here to let you know that I'm fine, and toiling away on things - the 'disaster post' was something I generally set back six months at a time, but this time I forgot to move it due to being distracted with other things!<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Sorry again, I'm fine and toiling away!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Go watch Our House, the movie I wrote!</div>
Vardulonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17821844774999740966noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9114808246459538090.post-63168081171032038562020-02-20T13:02:00.000-05:002020-02-20T13:05:17.349-05:00Criminal Minds 1510: And In The End...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Things start weird as we see the first team scene from the last episode of
season one, where everyone was going to take a long weekend to
themselves before the Fisher King showed up! Then it's back to the
present, where comatose Reid runs around, trying to talk to people!
This leads to Garcia turning into Erin! Nice to see her again, huh?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
But will Thomas Gibson be back?
Probably not.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Erin announces that he's on a psychic
journey of self-discovery, and tells him not to be afraid! Then
Reaper shows up to taunt him about all the people he got killed!
Seriously? Reaper is here? The lack of Thomas Gibson is going to be
inexcusable if he doesn't show up.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Personally I'd like to see Frank one
more time, but I know that's a stretch. What other cameos will we be
getting, I wonder? Ian Doyle, please? I guess we'll find out after
the credits!</div>
<a name='more'></a><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
More with the Reaper, who explains that
the team was never whole after they failed to save Hailey, and that's
kind of true! Well observed, Reid's subconscious!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Then it's over to Joe's house, where
he's finally comfortable, now that Faceoff is dead! Well, now that he
thinks the guy is dead, we know better, after all. And they will too,
soon enough - after all, they'll only find one body in the basement
sometime today, and that'll be all the evidence they need that he's
still out there.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Joe announces that he's finally ready
to retire! His wife wants to throw a party, since this is obviously
amazing news!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
At the office all of the ladies are
hung over due to the drinking they did the night before, and they're
all looking forward to a chill day! But then the DNA evidence comes
in, and the male body they found in the house was the PI! So now they
know Faceoff is still out there!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
In Reid's subconscious Reaper takes him
to his apartment where they run into Maeve, the lady that Reid got
killed because he was afraid to have an actual relationship with her!
Reid's subconscious lets him off the hook by imagining that she was a
fan of the movie City of Angels, which is about a love so pure that
it's okay that it lasts just one day before the lady dies!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Screw you, Reid's subconscious.
Conversely, that was a very nice thing to do, ghost of Maeve.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
The team tries to run down what Faceoff
might do next. Apparently he dug a tunnel in the house? When did he
do that? While he was living there with the lady? Because he only
killed her two days before the episode's main action. They assume
he'll go back to one of his old identities, but I'm not sure why - if
he dug an escape tunnel, wouldn't he be planning to escape to
something?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Naturally they assume that he's coming
after them - which would be pretty hard, since other than Joe he
doesn't know the names of any of the team members who are chasing
him. So Joe calls Crystal and tells her that security is coming to
guard her. Which is a terrible idea, BTW. What you want to do is get
her out of the city - just go to Canada until this all blows over and
leave guards surveilling the house in case he shows up. They won't do
that, of course, because they're all terrible at this.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
The team finally discovers Reid on the
floor of his apartment! JJ and Garcia call for an ambulance! Wait,
why is Garcia there? Shouldn't she be doing something useful on the
computers? There's a whole rest of the team who could have checked on
Reid.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
In the fantasy, Reid and Maeve go to
see Gideon's grave, so he can learn to let go of his past trauma! At
the hospital, Garcia decides to stay with Reid and sends JJ back to
the office! But JJ can do her job - making up random stories -
wherever. It's Garcia who needs to be at the computer to be of any
use.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
At Joe's house, faceoff shoots a guard
as he drives up! That's right, in less than 24 hours faceoff drove
from Reno to Virginia - a 40 hour drive - and found out where Joe lives. And don't tell
me he already knew - the man is both rich and an FBI agent. His
address isn't something you can just 'find out'. Remember that it
took the Fisher King breaking into Garcia's poorly-protected server
to get this information in the past?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Dear lord - faceoff then goes into the
house identifying himself as the FBI agent who's there to guard her.
Because we live in a world where it's possible that Crystal - of all
people - wouldn't know what the killer who's haunted her husband's
nightmares for a year looks like.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Then again, this could be a fake-out.
She might know exactly who this is, and just be playing along until
she can shoot him with one of the guns from Joe's collection.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Jane Lynch comes to see Reid at the
hospital, and she's not helpful! We get a flashback to the time she
alluded to all of the ways she used to beat him as a kid, but the
show wants to pretend that didn't happen, so we quickly move on.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Maeve tries to console dream Reid, and
they get so close to just admitting that his need to be in the BAU is
a facet of the way his mother abused him, and it's actively hurting
him to stay there, but they don't quite make it.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Finally Crystal recognizes Faceoff - it wasn't an act, I guess - but they act like it's hard for her to do, since she's only seen
pictures of him with beards and mustaches. I guess the show has
forgotten that they've got plenty of official photos of him
completely clean-shaven, huh? I wouldn't expect anything less from
this nonsense festival.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Maeve and Reid go over a list of things
that Reid loves, trying to think of ways to keep him bound to the
world. In a nice moment, they list something that the actor, Matt
Gubler, loves 'Ghost Stories', but which has never been associated
with the character in any meaningful way in the past.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Meanwhile Garcia and Jane debate what
to do about Reid's condition, and this doesn't make the most sense,
because you can't ask a woman with dementia to make an informed
medical decision about Reid's health.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Seriously, there's no way on the planet
that JJ doesn't have Reid's power of attorney in case he's ever
incapacitated. They would have taken care of that years ago. I know
they like the drama of having Jane there, but this is a schizophrenic
woman with Alzheimer's - she's not up to making any decisions, ever.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
In the psychic journey of
self-discovery, Reid finally says goodbye to the memory of Maeve, and
he starts to wake up a bit!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
At the office, Joe calls Crystal and
gets Faceoff! It's time for his endgame, it would seem! Joe decides
to hatch a scheme with the director of the FBI!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
In the hospital, Jane is surprisingly
helpful at calming Garcia down! And Reid wakes up! I guess brain
bleeding isn't much of an issue as they thought?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Joe and the team meet Faceoff at the
naval airfield where their plane is waiting. Joe gets on board with
faceoff instead of crystal - and he's brought along a handcuff key,
because he was assuming faceoff would restrain him that way, instead
of using zip-ties! Although who knows, maybe he's got a razor blade
concealed as well!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Joe's plan? Get one of the guns hidden
on the plane and use it to arrest Faceoff. I mean, a way, way, way easier thing would be to wait until faceoff is in the pilot's seat and just shoot a hundred bullets into him with rifles, since they have rifles in their SUVs and planes aren't bullet-resistant at all. They go with Joe's terrible plan, though, which should have worked just fine,
but instead of simply shooting faceoff in the back of the head, or
telling him to freeze, Joe presses the button to open the stairs, the
noise of which alerts Faceoff to his plan!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
What the hell are you doing, Joe?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
They exchange shots and Joe falls out
of the plane, presumably badly injured! For some reason they don't just open
fire on the cockpit, killing faceoff, and he has time to start taxiing the plane down the runway! They manage to shoot the gas tank on the wing, though, and then set the trail of gas on fire,
blowing up the plane!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
THE END</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Oh, and Joe's fine - he had a second
vest on under his shirt.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
The plane is less fine - it's blown up
in an unconvincing CGI effect.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
A month later, we check in on Joe's
retirement party! Is Aaron there? Probably not! Time to explain where
all the characters wind up!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Since she's bad at her job, Emily has
decided to move to Denver to be with her boyfriend! Reid is going to
teach most of the time, and consult now and then! Joe's not retiring,
after all! Garcia is going to work for a non-profit, where her skills
won't be useful at all! It's not clear if JJ is going to Louisiana or
not.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
More - Eric and Garcia decide to go on
a date! So yeah, that happened! Then there's a speech about how much
they all love each other!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
On Monday, everyone arrives to work to
discover that Garcia's stuff is being moved out! Eric references the
Baltimore Colts, which is a really good analogy, but none of the
other characters respond to it.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
They have donuts and a sad song plays! The show ends without a quote, because the writers failed to come up with one to sum up the experience of doing the show for 15 years. You had one job, people, and you screwed it up.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
THE END (FOR REAL THIS TIME)</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
1 - Was profiling in any way helpful in
solving the crime?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Nope. They just phoned the killer. And
if they were good at security, an FBI agent wouldn't have gotten
killed catching him.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
2 - Could the crime have been solved
just as easily using conventional police methods given the known
facts of the case?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Yes. They could have just handled
security in a responsible fashion, and he would have been caught
approaching Joe's house. Which, once again, he had no way of knowing
where that was.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
So, on a scale of 1 (Dirty Harry) to 10
(Tony Hill), How Useful Was Profiling in Solving the Crime?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
1/10 - One last failing score for the
show. I'll miss you, Criminal Minds.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Seriously, though, what on earth is
Penelope going to do at a non-profit? Her skillset solely consists of
hacking computers and manipulating databases. These aren't
super-useful skills outside of the security or law enforcement field.
I understand that the show wanted to end with someone leaving, and
since Garcia is the only person to have been in every episode it
makes sense to center the last episode around her, but they've laid
no groundwork to earn this ending.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Seriously, there was more setup to the
last episode of 24 when we all got together and said 'yeah, I guess
the heart of the show really WAS Jack and Chloe's relationship. Who
saw that coming?'</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
But hey, Penelope wrote the episode, so
if she wants to make it all about her emotions and also have her hook
up with a hot guy, more power to her!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
See you back here when Criminal Minds
is inevitably rebooted in three years!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
(That's a joke, obvs. Please don't do
this, CBS.)</div>
</div>
Vardulonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17821844774999740966noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9114808246459538090.post-82410781690020397892020-02-20T12:48:00.000-05:002020-02-20T12:48:15.520-05:00Criminal Minds 1509: Face Off<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Well, this is it! Second-last episode
of Criminal Minds ever! This should be a blast, right? Before I get
started, though, can we take a second to mention how ridiculous the
last scene of last week's episode was? They had Faceoff talking about
how beautiful the woman's bone structure was, and wanting to preserve
her face forever! Except bone structure is what's behind the face.
Once the face is off, it's just a flat mass, as we've seen time and
again. Shouldn't he have been complimenting something about her skin?
Unless he's collecting heads from now on?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
I guess my point is that the writing on
this show has sunken to the point where they can't even make killers
be creepy in a believable fashion.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Now, on to the episode!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
We open on Joe's basement, where he's
built an obsession wall to Faceoff! Apparently the guy has killed
again? Maybe the woman from last week? This should be bigger news,
given all those FBI agents he murdered that time. Joe also seems to
dump a package of diamonds on his desk, and I have no idea what
that's about. Maybe they're intercutting between the two of them to
show us that obsession is similar no matter what it's chasing?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
For some reason Joe has put a sketch of
the guy up on the wall, even though they have pictures of what he
really looks like. It's like that scene in H20 where there's a sketch
of the Michael Myers mask on the wall, because the filmmakers have
forgotten that A: You can get a photo of it, it's a regular mask you
can buy in a store, and 2: they have actual photos of what Michael
Myers actually looks like - he was in a state institution for years.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
More craziness between Emily and JJ -
it seems that JJ was offered a job as head of the New Orleans FBI,
which is just a bad call on the FBI's part - neither of these women
have any leadership skills to speak of, and putting them in charge of
things - be it the FBI, BAU, or a field office - would lead to
disaster. So of course that's what's going to happen.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Over at Reid's house the rest of the
team is hanging out - apparently Luke and his doctor girlfriend broke
up because of that time a sniper murdered his friend (her patient).
Yeah, that's going to be a drag on the romance, I'm guessing. So
what's the endgame here? Are they pairing him up with Garcia? That
would come out of nowhere, but the show is ending, and anything is
possible!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Garcia actually has a job offer! A
silicon valley firm working on climate change! This would be a
terrible job to take - I won't get into it here, since there's plenty
of show to discuss without this nonsense, but suffice to say that
joining a firm trying to profit off averting global disaster isn't
going to be a good fit for her, morally speaking. Unless she's lying
and the job is with a group of hackers working to bankrupt and
destroy oil companies, in which case more power to you, Garcia.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Okay, things just got really
depressing. Joe starts talking to Mandy to go over what he knows
about serial killing in the hopes that they can track down faceoff,
but it's not Mandy he thinks about, it's young Mandy, played by Ben
Savage. I was hoping against hope that they would manage to convince
Mandy Patinkin to actually come back for a cameo in a flashback, but
I guess he really, really, really doesn't want to. Or it was a
contractual thing with his show.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
They decide the key element to catching
Faceoff is 'why didn't he kill Joe when he had the chance'? Obviously
because that would have taken time to do, and the team was on top of
him. The show thinks there's more to it, though, and announces that
the real reason is that Faceoff thought Joe reminded him of his
father, a man that Sharon slept with as part of a con who later died!
But what if she lied about who the father was, and Faceoff wants to
track him down?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
That's kind of a stretch, but this is
the second-last episode, so why not.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Now it's over to Faceoff, who hands a
guy a briefcase of money to find his father! This sleaze must be the
most trustworthy sleaze on earth, because no matter how much money is
in that briefcase, it pales in comparison to the amount he'll get
from the government for telling them where Faceoff is.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Then Faceoff gets a call from his
latest girlfriend, who wants to move in with him! Is he staying in
the same mansion from the season opener? I'd have to check - it might
be that all mansions look the same to me.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Just in case it wasn't clear, this
seems like it's the girlfriend's mansion from last week, and he's
already killed her - he invites the new lady to move in once he's had
a day to clear up all evidence of the crime.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Oh, and the way he's killing without
anyone noticing is that now he incinerates bodies in a basement
crematorium, rather than burning down their houses. So maybe this is
actually his place? I can't imagine his girlfriend would have had one
of those. Or been okay with her boyfriend installing a cremation oven in her basement, which she would have had to have been, since that takes a while to do, and only killed her just now.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
But how would the most wanted man in America get a house?
This is very puzzling.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Maybe we'll get an explanation of the
housing situation after the opening credits?</div>
<a name='more'></a><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Reid comes to see Joe in his evidence
dungeon - which isn't his basement, after all, but the basement of
Quantico where they founded the BSU! Joe explains his theory - Sharon
is only pretending to help them so that she can get out on bail and
murder her son herself! She's angry about the granddaughter's death,
it would seem. Not a bad theory - but is there any way they could
track her while she attempts it? Strangely, Joe says he doesn't want
to share the theory with the rest of the team, but Reid tells him
that's a terrible idea. He's absolutely right, of course - what's Joe
going to be able to do on his own?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Then we check in with Faceoff, who
welcomes hi new GF and her sullen daughter into his home! Sinister
music plays the whole time, of course.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
In the conference room scene things go
a little nuts, as we're expected to believe that the entire season so
far has taken place in just eight weeks? Remember when JJ was shot
and nearly died? And also Matt's wife had another kid? And then it
was literally months later? How is the show this bad at keeping a
timeline?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Also, Garcia somehow has information
that Faceoff has hired PIs in each of the cities he went to in order
to track down men that Sharon was intimate with in the year before he
was born. How on earth would she have that? Do PIs enter all the
information about who they're looking for in a national database of
some kind? Seriously, though, we're expected to believe that Faceoff
has gone back to faceoff murders in the past two months - full on
burned down houses and such - but the team hasn't been actively
looking for him? No one has? This is the most wanted man in America,
and if he was hiding in a hole somewhere you could kind of believe
that he would be able to not be found for two months - but now we're
asked to believe that he's been seducing and murdering women this
whole time? How could they possibly have not known who he was?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Not for nothing - this 'eight weeks'
thing means that Emily is already on the FBI director shortlist one
week after saying she'd be up for the job. I'd say this was
completely implausible, but since the president appointing her would
be Donald Trump, the complete lack of any kind of background check or
serious vetting is exactly on brand.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
How would this woman ever survive a
Senate hearing? She's spent most of her life outside America. She had
a teenage abortion. She's killed people for little to no reason. She
recently worked for Interpol. She's not even a lawyer. This is the
worst pick possible.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Turns out it's not going to be hard to
get Sharon out of jail at all! Louisiana thinks she's helped enough,
so they're springing her that day! JJ and Aisha go to talk to her
about her plans. They say they can't let her try to kill Faceoff,
since that would be against the law. Both Aisha and JJ have killed
people they shouldn't have because they were angry, though, so
they're not the best people to be making this pitch.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Faceoff gets a call that a violent guy
from a rich family might be his father! Also we learn that his GF's
daughter has diabetes. Which will probably be important later.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Garcia gets a lead! It seems that
someone, somewhere in Nevada was looking into Sharon's aliases! I'm
not sure how she can know this without having some kind of a lead on
the killer's PI - after all, wouldn't he be looking into those
aliases by checking with law enforcement contacts and going through
databases? But no, all she has is a five hundred mile radius for
where an IP address was located.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Faceoff heads downstairs to his
basement to burn all the evidence of his crimes - specifically, the
faces. We get a flashback to him killing his daughter, and as I
suspected, it makes zero sense that he would murder her but leave the
girlfriend alive.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Half of the team flies to Reno while
the other remains in DC. I'm not sure why. They've tracked down the
PI, both through the IP address and cash that was wired to him via an
offshore account owned by the lawyer that faceoff stole the identity
of in the first episode of the season. Wait - why hadn't they been
tracking that all along? Also it's kind of weird that Faceoff is
paying the PI both with wire transfers and stacks of cash in
briefcases. Does he care about being traced, or doesn't he?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
The PI sees Reid and Joe head to his
office, but instead of flagging them down and asking for the two
million dollar reward - which you think he would do, since he's a
convict ex-cop who was imprisoned for stealing drugs from the
evidence locker to sell. So he's literally the least trustworthy
person imaginable, but instead of taking a HUGE payday from the FBI
he's going to get a comparatively paltry sum of money from Faceoff? I
know he could theoretically get both, but the FBI money is contingent
of Faceoff actually being caught, and there's no telling what the guy
will do after you turn over the name. Hell - he could murder you to
keep things quiet!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
There's no way this guy doesn't turn
Faceoff in the second he finds out that's who he's working for.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Garcia tracks down Faceoff, but it's
not a huge challenge - she finds a missing persons report about the
new GF and her daughter! But who filed it? We learn that two days ago
the GF left her abusive boyfriend and told her mother that she was
moving in with Faceoff - who she knows under the same name as the one
on the account that he transferred the lawyer's money to! So who
called the cops? It can't have been the abusive boyfriend, because
the fight was on record, and her leaving would be completely
understandable. It can't be the mother, who knows where her daughter
went. Why is there a police record of this at all?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Then we get a scene where the GF's
daughter finds her mother's car missing! Faceoff explains that they
had a fight and she drove away! Also, he seems to have stolen the
daughter's phone to keep her from calling her mother. What is he
planning, exactly? Does he want a replacement daughter for the one he
killed? A new daughter-face? Is the car just in the garage? If he'd
killed the GF it's not like he could have driven the car somewhere
hidden and made it back without the daughter noticing that everyone
was gone. The house isn't that big.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Sharon goes to check in on Faceoff's
father, who lives in a small house in the middle of nowhere. It seems
he noticed the PI snooping around earlier, and wonders if she's
involved! She announces that she isn't, and wants to talk about their
son. Why isn't the FBI kicking down the door right now? Or are they
waiting at the perimeter for Faceoff to show up? It's not like she
could have gotten here without them knowing about it, right?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
It turns out that the father tried to
drown faceoff when he was a toddler, and that's the source of some of
his problems! So Sharon shoots him a bunch of times because she
blames him for what a monster his son turned into! Presumably the FBI
will be kicking the door down after the commercial break.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Nope. Aisha and Emily are busy in DC,
asking who the father is. Why was no one following Sharon? Wasn't
their ENTIRE PLAN - once they realized that she wasn't actually
helping - to let her go and follow her to Faceoff? What happened with
that?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Anyhoo, they tell the lawyer that
Sharon didn't really love him, and he cracks immediately, telling
them where the father is. Which they should have already known, what
with following her there and all.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
The team shows up at a crime scene -
their theory? With his father dead, Faceoff will try to prove he's
not like the guy, and be a better father to a new surrogate daughter!
Wouldn't it have been way easier to just not kill your daughter in
the first place? We never did get a reason he did that, after all.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
For some reason the cops are just scattered all over the crime scene in plain view. Why aren't they setting up an ambush? As far as they know, Faceoff is currently headed for this house right now to see his father. Isn't it likely that he'd turn around and see cops everywhere?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Faceoff calls Joe and asks him if his
father is dead. Joe confirms that he is, for no reason that I can
imagine. Remember what I just said about the ambush? Why aren't you doing that? Also, how did Faceoff get Joe's cell phone number? Like a dope, Joe confirms that the father is
dead, and tries to negotiate with Faceoff. The killer wants to meet
1-on-1, and says that he won't kill the daughter if they get together
for a chat. The team talks it over, and agrees that Joe should meet
faceoff! Naturally the whole team goes with. But Faceoff announces
that he's got the daughter locked up somewhere, and since she's got
diabetes, if he doesn't tell them where she is, she could be dead
tomorrow! So they let him walk away. Presumably the helicopter that's
tailing him will lead them back to his mansion.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />You know, the preposterousness of
this scene could have been avoided had they just included a shot of
Faceoff on a hilltop with some binoculars, watching the crime scene
from a great distance - so that he knows his dad is dead already and
that it's a trap.</div>
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<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
JJ is the one providing sniper
overwatch, by the way, rather than either of the special forces guys.
It's a terrible choice, because she has possibly the shakiest trigger
finger in the world. Either she's not good at this, or the actress is
trying to express how much JJ wants to just shoot the guy - either
way, she's not handling it professionally, and shouldn't be behind a
rifle scope.</div>
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<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Oh, and it turns out that helicopters
weren't helpful, because the place they met in is full of old mining
tunnels that Faceoff somehow knew about, and used to escape. Does he
have a team of people planting vehicles for him or something?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Faceoff goes back to check on the
daughter, offering once again to bring her to her grandmother's place
- but they're interrupted by Sharon, who's found them somehow? Garcia
finds the connection - it turns out that the woman whose house it is was the daughter of someone Sharon knew back in the day! Wow, that's
incredibly convenient for Sharon, that her son would hide out in the
one house on earth that she would be able to find him in!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Faceoff and Sharon have a confrontation
in the basement. Reid calls her and warns her that Faceoff will kill
her the moment she lets her guard down. She seems unconcerned about
that, but takes time to let the daughter go. Reid asks her to let the
SWAT guys storm the place, and she agrees. Why bother with that,
though? Couldn't she just lead Faceoff outside? He's unarmed and
she's pointing a gun at her. There's no reason they have to raid the
place.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Oh, okay, here's the reason - they find
a duffel full of her personal belongings on the side of the road, and
decide that she's planning to commit suicide while murdering her son! Then suddenly the house explodes, badly injuring Reid!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
So why did she let the Swat guys raid
the place? Did she want to kill some cops at the same time? Also, how
did the place blow up? I think they want us to believe that it has
something to do with the gas crematorium in the basement, but in
order for gas to be thick enough to explode from an open flame it
would be so chokingly dense that the three characters couldn't be
talking comfortably in the basement.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Also, a gunshot can't set off a
gas-filled room. But we established that ages ago, so let's move on,
to a world where Faceoff and Sharon are dead.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
THE END</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Wow - back at HQ we learn that six FBI
agents were killed by the blast! Emily says they couldn't possibly
have known that either person would kill themselves, and therefore
it's not her fault that everybody's dead. The deputy director of the
FBI tells her that she's out of the running for the big job, and
really, she should be removed from leading the BAU as well - but she
isn't.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
How, though? This is the worst
single-day loss of life for the FBI since Gideon screwed up with Bale
before season 1. Why would they let her keep her job?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
On the flight home, everyone is
depressed, and Reid ponders why he didn't figure out why Sharon would blow up the house. His conclusion? She didn't! Faceoff clubbed her, opened a
tunnel, smashed a gas line, ignited it, and then escaped!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
He figures this out in his apartment, but then falls
over before he can tell anyone, because of the head injury he
received in that explosion. That's right, he didn't go to the
hospital to get checked for a concussion. Because everyone is a
moron. We actually saw him unconscious, and then waking up, and
having ringing in his ears so bad that he couldn't hear anything - but
no one had him sent to a hospital to get checked out.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
1 - Was profiling in any way helpful in
solving the crime?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Nope. They didn't solve anything! They
just followed some IP addresses and then checked who Sharon knew in the area.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
2 - Could the crime have been solved
just as easily using conventional police methods given the known
facts of the case?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Cops would have tailed Sharon and
wrapped this up incredibly quickly.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
So, on a scale of 1 (Dirty Harry) to 10
(Tony Hill), How Useful Was Profiling in Solving the Crime?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
NA - We'll wait until the resolution,
yet again!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Once again, even if you could ignite
gas with a gunshot - you can't - igniting that gas line one second
after breaking it wouldn't have blown up the entire house. You might have had gouts of flame coming out of it, and perhaps even an
explosion along the line, but the house itself would have likely been
fine.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
This episode is just trash all over.</div>
</div>
Vardulonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17821844774999740966noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9114808246459538090.post-28702588990465577942020-02-13T04:16:00.000-05:002020-02-13T04:16:07.487-05:00Criminal Minds 1508: Family Tree<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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The episode begins on a sidestreet as a man in a sports car negotiates with a sex worker. What kind of sports car? I don't know! The logo on the front is vaguely shield-shaped, is that Porsche? Just checked - Porsche does, in fact, have a shield-shaped emblem, but so do Ferarri and Lambourghini, so I've got nothing. I'll lock in my guess as Porsche, but it's 1/3 and I'm only sticking with it because it was my first thought.</div>
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<br />I would do terribly on The Price is Right.</div>
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The woman shoos the john away - apparently he tried to pay for sex with stamps! Now, depending on the size, a roll of stamps can easily be worth 50$, but I agree with her - this isn't a barter system we're living in. A creepy guy watches her from across the street in a pickup. Does he have evil intentions? Have you ever seen an episode of Criminal Minds?</div>
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He walks over to the second sex worker and asks her if she'd like someone to help her escape her life of depravity, which is a deeply condescending question to pose. He imagines her saying yes, but of course she doesn't, which presumably has marked her for death! Oh, and the killer has a gimpy leg, and the first sex worker full-on saw him and his car. So they've got leads!</div>
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We cut to the killer dragging the sex worker's body through the woods to a cabin, where he prepares it somehow with a knife, then buries it in a shallow grave. All the while he rambles in voice over about how he's really a good person, and he's only doing this because he has to. But who cares? He's a murderer.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Then it's over to Quantico, which is introduced with an establishing shot of DC! They've got just three more chances to get this wrong, are they going to take every one of them? On one level, I hope that they do! On another, it would be nice to finally see a part of Quantico that isn't the Marine base!</div>
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<br /></div>
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Turns out I was wrong, and for the first time in ages, they're in DC! Emily is meeting with someone about possibly becoming the director of the FBI! Yes, the woman who used to murder people for Interpol and faked her own death. That's exactly who you want in charge of the famously scandal-averse FBI.</div>
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<br /></div>
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The crazy part is, if they'd offered it to Hotch, this would have made total sense, but Emily? Not at all! Wow, is this going to screw up her relationship if she takes the job! At actual Quantico, a way more important job opportunity has sprung up! JJ might be moving to New Orleans for a field office job! It's a huge step down in her career trajectory, of course, but it would doubtless be way better for her marriage. Garcia and Reid are both upset by the news, obvs.</div>
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Time for a rundown of the case! The killer has the MO of murdering a 'respectable' man, then killing a sex worker soon after! Also he disfigures the corpses. It's not important how.</div>
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Then things get super disgusting, as the killer records a 'please catch me' message onto a tape and prepares to mail it - then starts making an ear necklace! Is he going to send that along with the tape? Maybe! Am I sad that I had to tell you a detail about the mutilation? Definintely!</div>
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Got to say, when I heard the title of the episode I thought it was going to be about the Face/Off killer - what with his whole psychosis being about his relationship with his mother. But no, I guess they're going to wrap that up in one episode next week?</div>
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Guess we'll find out after the opening credits!</div>
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On the plane we get one interesting detail - the men he kills are tossed in the trash, while the women are buried in shallow graves. Why does he give the sex workers more car in the disposal? More importantly, how are these bodies being found so quickly? Is he burying them in the middle of jogging tracks in public parks? In the set of woods where cops go to train their corpse hounds?</div>
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No real news at the police department - the men were well-respected, the women were known to the police. Then the envelope with the message and ear turns up - it was left on the windshield of a squadcar! I wonder how long the killer had to walk around before he found an unattended cop car? More importantly, do cop cars' dash cameras run constantly, or just when the car is turned on? If it's constantly, they've probably got useful footage of the killer! Oh, and it was just a bloody earring in the envelope with the rape, not an entire ear. Thankfully.</div>
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At the ME there are more interesting details! The mutilation is done post-mortem, and the different genders are killed differently! Women are strangled and men are stabbed! Also the men were clubbed in the back of the head before being stabbed in order to subdue them, while the women were just choked. Why the different method of killing for men? If they were stunned by the blow to the head, couldn't he have strangled them as well? Is that meaningful?</div>
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Also, where were these guys abducted from? We're told that they're upper-class dudes - how was this guy able to club them, stab them to death, and drag them to his car without drawing attention to himself. Were they into something shady?</div>
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Oh, and the women were buried in a shroud, facing down. Is the facing down part of a specific religious rite I'm not familiar with? They don't seem to find it that odd.</div>
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<br />Turns out sex worker 1 has provided them with a sketch of the killer that looks exactly like him! No details about his car, though, which you think she would have noticed if she'd gotten that good a look at his face.</div>
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Meanwhile, the killer is drinking in a bar somewhere! The bartender is having trouble with her family, and this causes him to freak out and yell about how important family is! She is understandably weirded out and steps away to deal with another customer.</div>
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The killer is also looking for a new car, and he stops on an ad for a '93 Dodge Ram Pickup, which costs 10K, apparently! That seems high for a 28-year-old vehicle, doesn't it? I looked it up, and apparently it depends entirely on the condition of the truck - fully restored to like-new condition they go for 10-15K, while a regular old car version is down around 2500. So let's assume this is a really nice used vehicle.</div>
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<br />Less nice? The work by the prop people! Who've been phoning it in for like years now. Here's the killer flipping through a full-colour flyer booklet of car ads:</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKtMcpy0bhdXoTN9Vpb7jLOFSFlz1WKTHu6RWTynqwe40SFKEuQ-8RNyKcMjT0tCSL4KG3Dhz4ci2u98BsE3Xki_Fg3gE8kN3FWKS5rGRyzOO4sQZNui6L2qeLSngfkUegGpVp6dD9_5HP/s1600/CRIM+1508+%25284%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="384" data-original-width="641" height="191" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKtMcpy0bhdXoTN9Vpb7jLOFSFlz1WKTHu6RWTynqwe40SFKEuQ-8RNyKcMjT0tCSL4KG3Dhz4ci2u98BsE3Xki_Fg3gE8kN3FWKS5rGRyzOO4sQZNui6L2qeLSngfkUegGpVp6dD9_5HP/s320/CRIM+1508+%25284%2529.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Here's the closeup of the ad in question:</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4NjLfrFqV7_xLVo52xIkd68o6QtAXZ_iJ6ihVOJFJ49wyH_nIwWC511PfnDSePk7wkjx7cRIHkATSri9FH42mgqbPe3yHRnRUUTR2FZ2451XS5OgzkZHZUfc3wrqOft7SNcH4GuY60FZk/s1600/CRIM+1508+%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: #0066cc; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; orphans: 2; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><img border="0" data-original-height="384" data-original-width="641" height="191" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4NjLfrFqV7_xLVo52xIkd68o6QtAXZ_iJ6ihVOJFJ49wyH_nIwWC511PfnDSePk7wkjx7cRIHkATSri9FH42mgqbPe3yHRnRUUTR2FZ2451XS5OgzkZHZUfc3wrqOft7SNcH4GuY60FZk/s320/CRIM+1508+%25281%2529.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></a></div>
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That's right - the prop people have taken a colour printout and stuffed in between the pages. Would it really have cost so much to actually print up the whole booklet? Yes, this kind of thing happened on Hannibal, but it was </div>
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At the office, the team listens to the tape and believes that the guy's voice is so distinctive that someone might recognize it! It really isn't, but since they've got a good picture of him to go with it, it might spark something! More notable is his complete lack of any kind of Texas accent. Which is far from impossible, but it seems weird not to mention, since they're just an hour east of Houston.</div>
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The killer goes to the truck lot and we get a window into his delusion! He goes to men and fantasizes about identifying them as his long-lost father, and imagines that it will go well! It doesn't, though, and he kills them. Does he actually suggest that they're his father to the men, or does he just kill them? Perhaps we'll find out in a scene or two, since he drives off with the car lot owner for a test drive!</div>
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The team spends a little time wondering what the significance of the victimology might be, but their navel-gazing is rendered irrelevant when they discover that the killer has kidnapped the car lot owner! They rush out to talk to people at the lot - and hopefully grab some surveillance footage!</div>
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More self-important rambling from the killer. Once again, who cares?</div>
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The next day JJ and Matt are at the car lot, getting info. That's right - they didn't bother going to the lot until at least 12 hours after getting the call. Because... They thought they needed a good night's sleep? I'm at a loss here.</div>
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JJ notices that all of the male victims were from well-established area families. Could the killer be focusing his rage on people with 'deep roots' in the community? Turns out this isn't as big a clue as it could be, since the new tape has the killer going on and on about trees and roots. It's a little frustrating because the show is being incredibly oblique about exactly which parts of his monologues are being recorded and sent to the police, and which are just for us, the audience. Like, when he full-on talks about how the car guy wasn't his dad, are they going to hear that? And is the tape that Emily is listening to the one from yesterday, or has he sent a new one along?</div>
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Because the killer used the word 'altar' to describe the trees that the women were buried in front of, and they were wrapped in a white sheet, the team assumes that he must think of them as brides! It seems like a leap, even considering that he cuts off the left hand of the victims, and that's where wedding rings go. Then Reid wins a Prentiss Award for this attempt to justify the tongue removal:</div>
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It couldn't, though. Why would it? And if he's 'unbriding' them by cutting out tongues and removing hands, why put them in white and bury them at an altar? You see how none of this tracks at all?</div>
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Also, sorry about giving you the other mutilation detail. I was really trying to avoid that. I promise that's the last one.</div>
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The team does the profile, telling the public information that won't help identify the guy at all - hey, remember the one time that actually worked? The Halloween episode from season 10, I think? That was fun, right?</div>
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Somehow they get through the whole briefing without mentioning that they have a sketch of the guy, and definitely have video footage from the car lot.</div>
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Eric and Aisha call Penelope to ask her to help tracking down the killer's parents. She sarcastically responds that it should be no trouble at all, given that 1.2 million people live in the area! Fun fact: This is ten times the population of Beaumont, TX! Are the people who work on this show so utterly checked out that they can't spend ten seconds on google getting the basic facts of the place where their episode is set?</div>
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The killer rushes into the bar and tries to get the bartender to come with him to see the tree under which he was conceived. Unsurprisingly, he is thrown out by a bouncer, because that's a crazy thing to do. Somehow no one notices that he looks exactly like the sketch of that crazed murderer who's killed five people in the past week, including a prominent local businessman.</div>
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Operating under the assumption that the killer is the son of a sex worker - the first female victim having been much older than the second - Garcia tracks down a woman who had a kid when she was a teenager, and then got child support from the unnamed father's rich family! She passes the info about the sex worker along so the team can track her down! Turns out she died a couple of months ago, and they don't have any good leads on the son. Which is odd, since if you know his mother's name, and know when and where he was born, then you also have his name. Even if he was 'off the grid' as you suggest, you still know the guy's name.</div>
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Oh, and the bartender gets kidnapped, because even six hours later, no one has made the connection about the crazed murderer who looks exactly like the crazy man who was harassing her. The bouncer comes in to talk to the team after the abduction, and mentions that the killer talked about the tree where he was conceived, and said that he needed a new truck because his couldn't handle mud. Wow... this guy had a LOT of useful information to offer!</div>
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The killer takes the bartender out to the woods to see his tree that has severed hands and whatnot hanging from it! It's not shot artistically at all, because people are trying to wrap the show up in a hurry.</div>
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Using the lead about mud, the local cops circle all of the bayous in the area, and try to figure where the killer could be hiding out. They assume that the place the killer was conceived would definitely have been owned by the family of the important person who fathered him, which is kind of a leap, but let's let them have this one so we can move on.</div>
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Unfortunately the bartender doesn't know to play along with the ravings of madmen, and she keeps saying he's crazy and has to let her go. This proves to be upsetting for him, as one might expect it would be.</div>
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The team finds a guy who was shipped off to boarding school right when the killer was conceived, and his family owns a ranch outside of town, so he must be the guy! They drive over there and give chase - during which he manages to shoot Joe! Non-fatally, of course.</div>
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Then it's time for a showdown with the cops. The bartender finally learns to play along with the killer - only no, she doesn't, the shooting Joe and everything after was just another fantasy he had after being shot to death by Joe. Because one more pointless fake-out is exactly what the episode needed.</div>
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<br />THE END<br /></div>
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On the plane ride home we learn that there were more body parts on the tree than were missing from the victims they know about. But wouldn't upper-class men from old families have been reported missing? Or were all of the body parts from other sex workers?</div>
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Then Emily and JJ talk about their various job offers - the twist? Emily wants JJ to take over the unit if she becomes head of the FBI! This is a terrible choice, of course, but since the show has run out of characters with any kind of leadership skills, I guess the best move is to just give it to the person who's been on the team the longest?</div>
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This, by the way, is a terrible way to manage a team. Just FYI.</div>
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Back at the office, Aisha is transcribing the tapes, and finds it puzzling how the guy flitted back and forth between a fantasy of an ideal life with his parents, and the bleak existence he lived in. She acts like this is super-strange, but it's the most common thing in the world for serial killers to have elaborate fantasy lives. Like, it's an assumed fact about them that they are devoted fantasists who imagine themselves as powerful creatures and endlessly imagine how their crimes will go before committing them. I don't know where this is going, but I find it extremely strange that she's acting like having an absurdly detailed fantasy life is anything but completely normal for killers like this guy.</div>
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Matt goes to chat with Joe about their day - Joe's weirded out because someone took a shot at him! It might finally be time to retire for real! Once he's dealt with the face/off killer, of course. He obsesses over why F/O 'let him live'. Um... because the cops were right on his heels, and he didn't have time to stab you the way he loves to. Why are you pretending that this is all part of a bigger plan of his?</div>
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Wait, is it all going to be part of a bigger plan of his? Come on, Criminal Minds, that would be just ridiculous.</div>
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Then we cut over to F/O, who's hanging out with his latest mark! Again, this is the most wanted criminal in America, and he's not wearing a disguise of any kind:</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrWDKjDGXtmU3nWa-Grilo6-7N9TezuhyhYpBBUESYQDWa1YWrKyTFL_-B2BAX4d72_7RjKib-CMdNy9zEIRS7fzbSgh9PTSCSEZYd4xPbPu3094l28gQwec2CQr9eqROIzCfQPo0rwvJk/s1600/CRIM+1508+%25287%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="384" data-original-width="641" height="191" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrWDKjDGXtmU3nWa-Grilo6-7N9TezuhyhYpBBUESYQDWa1YWrKyTFL_-B2BAX4d72_7RjKib-CMdNy9zEIRS7fzbSgh9PTSCSEZYd4xPbPu3094l28gQwec2CQr9eqROIzCfQPo0rwvJk/s320/CRIM+1508+%25287%2529.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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How on earth is this woman unaware that he's a famous serial killer? This scene isn't set in Chile, is it?</div>
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1 - Was profiling in any way helpful in solving the crime?</div>
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Sort of? I'm honestly a little confused about how to score this, because it's not clear what info was on the tapes they got. Given the stack Aisha was working through it seems like every bit of VO was from one of the tapes, which means they got handed the father fixation on a platter, which makes the rest of their deductions pretty facile. Still, the unrealistic leap about the mother being a sex worker paid off, so I'll give them partial credit!</div>
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2 - Could the crime have been solved just as easily using conventional police methods given the known facts of the case?</div>
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They had a perfect sketch of the dude, a description of his car, and video footage of him. He should have been picked up the second he returned to the bar.</div>
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So, on a scale of 1 (Dirty Harry) to 10 (Tony Hill), How Useful Was Profiling in Solving the Crime?</div>
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3/10 - It's really saying something about how weak this season has been that this is one of the high points of using psychology to assist them in solving crimes. The episode is also a perfect example of how much the show's reduced budget is making things more preposterous. Rather than making this ridiculous leap that the father would have taken a woman to his family farm, this episode could have been perfectly logical had they just identified and gone to talk to the father, who could have explained the significance of the tree that the killer mentioned, and directed them to the farm.</div>
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But that would have required hiring another actor, and that's one thing the show absolutely refuses to do. No matter how much it would have helped the script.</div>
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Hey, why didn't the killer bury all the women on the property he was squatting on? Right, so that the cops would find the bodies. How did that happen again?</div>
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Wow, so they're really going to wrap up the Face/Off killer thing next week! I hope it's satisfying! It probably won't be, but hopefully it'll be a fun ride!</div>
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So, will that be their last killer story, or will they catch someone in the final episode? It's only a week away and already I'm unbelievably excited!</div>
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Vardulonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17821844774999740966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9114808246459538090.post-82829988142180344712020-02-06T13:49:00.002-05:002020-02-06T13:49:58.232-05:00Criminal Minds 1507: Rusty<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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The episode opens with an establishing shot of Washington DC in the midst of the flowering of the cherry trees! Which puts this episode's setting somewhere in the neighbourhood of mid-March, 2020! This means we're about two months after last episode, and a full seven months since the season started, as the first episode was set in September 2019! I'll say this for the show - they're committed to showing us a full year in these characters' lives even if they just have ten episodes to do it in!</div>
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Of course, this does create the impression that the world of Criminal Minds is a place where a known serial killer can walk into a Federal building, murder four agents, and then drive out and go uncaught for more than half a year. Seriously, how is the face/off killer not a priority here?</div>
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For some reason Emily is picking Garcia up in DC because her car is in the shop. Which is weird, because Garcia definitely doesn't live in DC. We're pretty sure that Emily does, because of all of that talk about her buying a condo downtown, but there's no reason that Garcia would elect to live a 45 minute drive from work when she didn't have to. Maybe her garage is in DC for some reason?</div>
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We then cut to an hour later, as they enter the office, and Garcia is still chatting about a show they both like! Oh, that hyper Garcia, we love you. Emily finds a bouquet of flowers in her office, and for once it's not sinister - they're from her boyfriend Andrew, the FBI guy from that crazy stabber episode! She's not happy to see them, though, and hangs up on him when he calls! Which is kind of cold, since that means he knows he was sent to voicemail, rather than being able to think she was just away from her phone. Cold, Emily.</div>
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JJ enters the office to remind Emily about a budget meeting she has that morning, and also ask about the flowers, which Emily is nervous about! I'm more concerned that anyone is hassling them about their budget. These people catch between 10 and 26 serial killers every year - I know that the private jet isn't cheap, but how could the cost not be worth it in PR value the team offers alone?</div>
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After the meeting she considers calling Andrew back, giving us time to wonder who this 'Steve' character is who calls her more frequently than her boyfriend but she never answers the phone:</div>
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Before she can decide an agent shows up to summon her to a meeting with the director of the FBI! The weird part is that he asks her if she's 'got a second' to go over her numbers. Except the director works 40 minutes away in DC, so a lunch meeting with him is going to take up most of the rest of the day.</div>
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Then again, the people making on this show have no idea where the characters work, so this isn't a huge surprise.</div>
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Then it's over to a breakfast meeting where a guy is having a meal with Mary-Lynn Rajskub of 24 fame! It seems that she's walking him through the process of adopting his niece, who currently lives with foster parents! I guess the kid's parents are dead? Anyhoo, Mary is attracted to the guy, but he's having none of it! In fact, he seems filled with disgust at the very thought of spending a moment longer with her than necessary! Is this guy a killer? Weird way to introduce him if he is.</div>
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Then we see a creepy weirdo watching the guy from a car across the street, and following him down the road in a 50-year-old station wagon! Wow, that is not a good vehicle to tail people in, buddy. It's as close to unforgettable as you can get.</div>
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We immediately cut to a dingy room somewhere - the weirdo has killed the guy and cut off his head! That was abrupt! He shows off the head to a camera, and then we pull out to reveal that the team has been watching the footage in the briefing room! Not the kind of stylish transition the show used to be known for, but not terrible, either!</div>
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We get some random nonsense from the team trying to establish that they can be sure that he's an organized offender with a specific goal to his killings. Reid also feels that he can detect a 'lack of empathy' in the man's voice. This is preposterous, of course - the entirety of the video message is a guy holding up a severed head and saying 'everything you know is wrong - this proves it'. That's not a message I'd associate with a planner, show. That's more the kind of thing a schizophrenic on a spree might have said.</div>
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On the way out of the office, we learn what the stress is with Emily! Andrew has been transferred to Denver, and she's not down with a long-distance relationship! What an amazing coincidence that this new case is taking them to his neck of the woods!</div>
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Then we get a look at the mine where the killer is hiding - he enters, carrying the severed head and an axe, and we discover that he's killing people because Baphomet tells him to!</div>
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Yup. Just the prototypical organized killer all right.</div>
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Seriously, how are you all this bad at your job? Maybe we'll find out after the opening credits?</div>
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On the plane we find out that the first victim was a city councilor! Joe suggests that he could have ruffled some feathers in that line of work. I mean, yeah, but he had his head cut off, so, which seems like a stretch as a reaction so a zoning disagreement. Neither of the other two victims have a public-facing job, though, so they dismiss that as a connection.</div>
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Everyone takes a break to talk about Emily's love life, which is exactly where their priorities should be at the current moment. It seems Andrew has an ex-wife and daughter in Denver, and he moved there to be closer to his kid! Everyone is worried that Emily isn't doing well, which is understandable.</div>
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At the latest victim's house JJ and Reid discover that the killer ransacked the place, and the security cameras inside the building show that he was a twitchy mess. So they're rethinking the whole 'organized' part of the profile - not that they'll admit they were wrong, of course. This makes me wonder how the killer got into the guy's house at all. If he's security conscious enough to have camera everywhere how is a crazy man with an axe getting inside? Oh, and as predicted, a ton of people noticed the sixty-year-old station wagon parked outside the house.</div>
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What's the timeline on all of this? There are still cops milling around the crime scene, which suggests that it's recent, but after the guy got beheaded the cops had to find out about it, investigate the crime scene, find the video, decide this was worth involving the FBI, upload the video, and send it to Quantico for the briefing. Is this really all supposed to be happening the same day?</div>
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Given the fact that the killer only just brought the head back to his lair, maybe it's supposed to be taking place in the same hour? Also, since he was waiting at the meeting place where his victim had lunch with Mary, was it completely random chance, or is he working for her somehow? That victim scene played very strangely.</div>
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Aisha and Eric go to check out the corpse and discover that in addition to being beheaded he has some weird bruising on his chest, as if someone was trying to leave a specific message! They decide to check on the other bodies to see if that's a connection or a coincidence.</div>
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We finally get a timeline on the case in the next scene! The victim's coworker lets them know that he was going to adopt his niece because her mother is in jail - and that meeting was yesterday! They're surprised by this news, even though they already knew that the last person to see him alive was a social worker. What did they think that meeting was about? Also, isn't she a bigger priority to meet with rather than his associate at his architecture firm?</div>
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Oh, and we're informed that the other two victims were last seen with or near a child, so Emily and Andrew jump to the conclusion that the killer is targeting them that way!</div>
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And maybe they're right! We see the killer standing in a park, creepily watching a father and son practice soccer!</div>
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The team meets up for a conference, and we learn that the symbols on the chests of the guys are from something called 'Shroedinger's Equation', which is something about Quantum mechanics, which leads everyone to talk about multiple realities. How could that tie in with the killer's motivation, though?</div>
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Things get nuts just moments later, as the team goes down a rabbit hole of nonsense! Matt and Aisha share a Prentiss Award!</div>
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Okay, where to start? A beheading can't be 'transactional'. When Aisha mentioned that in the ME scene I dismissed it as random nonsense, but I guess it was there to set up this scene, which makes it all the worse. Things only become 'transactional' when you're making an exchange of goods or services. If you have no other information, the fact that someone's head was cut off can never seem 'transactional'. Then Aisha offers some terrible history of serial killers - Bundy and Dahmer didn't have any kind of delusions, and the Son of Sam talking dog thing was a lie that he told to try to get out of paying for his crimes. Also, this phrasing is just weird - he didn't 'think he saw a talking dog'. The dog was a real dog owned by his neighbor. His claim was that an actual dog was talking to him. Which, again, was a lie. But at least get the lie right, Aisha.</div>
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So no, you shouldn't be jumping to the conclusion that the killer is cutting off heads to buy admission to another world. That's just... ridiculous. So, again, it's probably right.</div>
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That night, the killer murders the guy from the park! Yet another person who didn't find it weird that a person was following him in a 60-year-old vehicle. For a few hours! Baphomet reminds the killer to mark the body, and I take a moment to marvel at what a cheap Halloween costume Baphomet is wearing:</div>
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<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike><br />Seriously, it almost looks like you can see the zipper on the front of his fur suit.</div>
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The next morning they find a witness to the aftermath of the crime! He saw the killer talking to no one, asking if this was 'enough'. Then he told the witness he needed to 'get back', and the witness left. Apparently it was too dark to see the body or the blood all over the guy's clothes, so he didn't alert the authorities.</div>
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Emily and Andrew decide that the killer's getting worse, because he's hallucinating 'now' and doesn't care about witnesses! Except you have no idea about his previous behaviour - he could have been hallucinating this entire time. You have no reason to think he wasn't.</div>
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Time for a profile! They decide that 'get back' means that the guy believes he's stuck in the wrong timeline, and has to do something to return to where he belongs! That's right, this week the Mandela effect is the killer!</div>
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Hilariously, while trying to explain what the Mandela effect is, JJ gets one of the most famous examples wrong:</div>
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No, JJ - Berenstain is the real thing. Berenstein is what people think it is because that sounds more like a real name. They also talk about whether Curious George has a tail or not - he doesn't - before we cut back to the killer, who's told by Baphomet that he's running out of time!</div>
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Hey, how was all of that stuff about Mandela supposed to help the local cops find the killer? It wasn't, it was just the team showing off? Good to know.</div>
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The team chats about how they've had no luck looking into local academics who would know about Schroedinger, so instead they focus on the fact that father figures are being killed. They decide he's mad at his own father, or possibly at himself! Could he have gotten his child killed, and he's decided he needs to get back to a reality where they're still alive?</div>
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Time for Emily and Andrew to chat about their relationship! There's drama!</div>
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Garcia phones up with some news - Mary is suspiciously good at her job! She focuses on working with fathers who want custody of their kids, and they always end up getting them! Is she just an amazing advocate, or is she bribing someone? They say they'll 'bring her back in' to talk about her connection to the crime - weird that we didn't see her initial interview. Almost as if they wanted us to be surprised that she was evil!</div>
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The killer then murders a guy in a parking lot and abducts his kids. And yes, it really looks like you can see the zipper on the front of Baphomet's suit-</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnaSsl5SHv_HNj2OjI751c8QG3WjRGqyaxWwZTGFrv24YKBX6dEAteWqvtIEVq0NwJMF3gTOp8ow72gzVLs2B9_iiJbN7aJCda7xaE7nlhwpH_SX0k0UUxK_8UgG3KDrgfvFgrhztOxJca/s1600/CRIM+1507+%25286%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: #0066cc; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; orphans: 2; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><img border="0" data-original-height="418" data-original-width="720" height="185" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnaSsl5SHv_HNj2OjI751c8QG3WjRGqyaxWwZTGFrv24YKBX6dEAteWqvtIEVq0NwJMF3gTOp8ow72gzVLs2B9_iiJbN7aJCda7xaE7nlhwpH_SX0k0UUxK_8UgG3KDrgfvFgrhztOxJca/s320/CRIM+1507+%25286%2529.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></a></div>
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So, is the killer being told to murder specific people? Because just hanging out in a parking lot hoping to see a family is a terrible way to find victims. Also, how have they not found the guy based on his car? How many 60-year-old tan ford station wagons can possibly be left on the road?</div>
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More with Joe and Emily! Will she quit the BAU to move to Denver with him? It would be a huge demotion if she did, so she'd better be serious about this relationship!</div>
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The killer left a confession video at the latest crime scene, so they have both a face and a confirmation of the motive! Which is good, but it makes them super-irrelevant. Now that they've got the guy's face they discover that his son was killed in a car accident seven years ago - his head was cut off in a car accident! Well, that explains that part!</div>
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Oh, and the most direct connection to Mary is that she helped the killer get custody of his son - despite the fact that he loved drunk driving - right before the son got killed! They decide to interview her to find out how deep the connection goes!</div>
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Emily looks over Mary's files, and it seems that the various fathers she works with have been paying her to make sure their custody paperwork goes through. They describe this as 'extortion', which isn't exactly right. I mean, she's not the one who decides custody, she just bribes the people who do. Isn't it more likely that she's acting as a middle man here - taking money to pay the bribes to family court judges and keeping a cut for herself? That's a crime, sure, but it's not really 'extortion'. If she was threatening to give worthy people a bad report if they didn't pay her, that's extortion, but because she was taking money to make sure unworthy people's custody requests went through, that's bribery.</div>
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I know it's a subtle difference, but these things matter in law enforcement.</div>
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And now things get a little nuts! It seems that she helped the killer get custody of his son ten years ago, but talked to him a lot seven years ago - their theory: he was drunk driving on the night his son was killed, and she made up the story about skidding on 'black ice' so people wouldn't notice that she'd made sure a judge overlooked his record of drunk driving when he was applying for custody. Here's the thing, though - cops don't just take social workers' word for it. If a man with a history of drunk driving got his son killed in an accident, the cops are going to assume that he was drunk driving on the night in question. More importantly, the guy was in a coma for a month after the accident - meaning that he wouldn't have been able to object or get a lawyer to keep the cops and doctors from taking a blood sample after the accident. Everyone would have known it was a drunk driving accident that killed his son, and he would have been sent to jail after getting out of the coma.</div>
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Which actually makes more sense for the rest of the episode - he could have just gotten out of jail and that was the thing that allowed him to start killing.</div>
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Anyhoo, they ask Mary to tell them everything she knows about the killer, and she gives them a heads up about his lair! It's an abandoned gold mine he used to go to with his son all the time!</div>
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In the mine, Baphomet tells him to kill the kidnapped kids in order to get his son back! Then he flashes back to when his son's head went flying off in that accident, and it turns out that the son had a red-eyed goat doll, which inspired Baphomet's creation! Also the son was in some kind of a booster seat, despite being 7 years old.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUDf6nL97esyUlKYweRZ6wIR7-r-FnjS0r9Bv7MkoVCOM78-KAD1mIMvqhjbMUhgs452aeSrHz7c1u_i3psIB-rcYaF2t_zSciyXK095nWdCQYEy9XNOtqRohCNuCRaQviyJ0DNZOw8lY4/s1600/CRIM+1507+%25287%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: #0066cc; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; orphans: 2; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><img border="0" data-original-height="418" data-original-width="720" height="185" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUDf6nL97esyUlKYweRZ6wIR7-r-FnjS0r9Bv7MkoVCOM78-KAD1mIMvqhjbMUhgs452aeSrHz7c1u_i3psIB-rcYaF2t_zSciyXK095nWdCQYEy9XNOtqRohCNuCRaQviyJ0DNZOw8lY4/s320/CRIM+1507+%25287%2529.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></a><b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike></div>
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That should be well past booster seat age, shouldn't it? I looked it up, though, and apparently I'm wrong! It seems that until a kid is over 4' 9" they should be using them to ensure that the shoulder strap is aligned correctly! I had no idea about this because when I was a youth back seats only had lap belts, so the minute you were too big for a child seat they'd just strap you in at the waist and call it a day. Kids really are safer now, aren't they?</div>
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Also, in the flashback the dad is completely conscious and not meaningfully injured in any way when looking at his headless son - but that could be him remembering things wrong.</div>
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The team busts in on the killer just as he's about to murder the kids, and instead of just shooting him, Emily decides to try to link up her story with his, talking about how it's tough being stuck in one way of looking at the world, unable to move forward! Not the time to make this about you, Emily.</div>
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She tells him that what he has to do is realize that he's delusional, and that totally works, leading to the big reveal that Baphomet was just him in a cheap fur suit all along!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEib3XrHYapK38dAqQ5I86-KprqIB4tyEoAQM7Ox1GGJ5U1-wOgIrbdkTXgOuhgTTKbvcAeXYl39ATHDDB0CIb2VQJ0nHuFcfil_gXTfHN8_DFwi1r6boVZBndg5xp7ZnfHPpxmzD8SJxtDX/s1600/CRIM+1507+%25288%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: #0066cc; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; orphans: 2; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><img border="0" data-original-height="418" data-original-width="720" height="185" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEib3XrHYapK38dAqQ5I86-KprqIB4tyEoAQM7Ox1GGJ5U1-wOgIrbdkTXgOuhgTTKbvcAeXYl39ATHDDB0CIb2VQJ0nHuFcfil_gXTfHN8_DFwi1r6boVZBndg5xp7ZnfHPpxmzD8SJxtDX/s320/CRIM+1507+%25288%2529.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></a></div>
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Wow, this episode ridiculous. Demonstrating the famously reasonable nature of people suffering from psychotic breaks, the killer drops the axe and surrenders. Then, in a final note, we discover that the goat doll was named Rusty! I'm not sure what that has to do with anything.</div>
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THE END</div>
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On the plane back, they talk about alternate realities!</div>
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Meanwhile, Emily drops by Andrew's house to meet his daughter finally!</div>
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1 - Was profiling in any way helpful in solving the crime?</div>
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No? I mean, they were right about everything, but they had no idea who the killer was until he left a confession note at the latest crime scene.</div>
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2 - Could the crime have been solved just as easily using conventional police methods given the known facts of the case?</div>
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I feel like an APB for the completely unique station wagon would have caught this guy almost immediately.</div>
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So, on a scale of 1 (Dirty Harry) to 10 (Tony Hill), How Useful Was Profiling in Solving the Crime?</div>
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1/10 - Here's an idea, stop me if this sounds crazy - when you find out that the killer is driving around in a 60-year-old station wagon and extrapolate based on the bodies that he's obsessed with physics, maybe do a search for that? There can't be more than a handful of station wagons like that left in Denver, and when you find that one of them is owned by a high school physics teacher with a tragic history, maybe shift that guy to the top of your list of suspects?</div>
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Or just start a list of suspects with him on it? Since you didn't have one otherwise?</div>
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So, was the killer following Mary, looking for fathers like him? Weird that he would only do that once, finding the third victim. Unless it was a complete coincidence?</div>
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I don't know if I'll ever get over Aisha describing someone being beheaded in a 'transactional' fashion.</div>
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Do better, show. You have three more chances to do better.</div>
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Vardulonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17821844774999740966noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9114808246459538090.post-89448965317703880702020-02-06T02:53:00.000-05:002020-02-06T02:53:21.912-05:00Criminal Minds 1506: Date Night <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Just five episodes left! And this one
starts with people coming out of a movie theatre that seems to be
showing Ben-Hur! Like... maybe the silent one? It's a really, really,
retro poster is what I'm saying.</div>
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<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Turns out it was – a father and
daughter walk out of the theatre, talking about whether or not the
black and white film was boring! She proves to be a philistine, while
he appreciates long takes et al! Suddenly a creepy woman walks up to
them and asks if they know what happened to Susan! Who she is
seeking. Desperately, presumably.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Then things get creepy when the father
finds a flyer on his windshield – it's a missing persons notice...
for him! Hey, just like way back in season... I want to say 3? I'll
check later. The flyer accuses him of being the murderer of the
aforementioned 'Susan'! So that's what that whole thing was about!
Neat.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
He suddenly notices that there are
flyers taped to posts all around his car! While he's distracted the
lady returns and holds a gun on his daughter, demanding that they all
get into the car! Hey, remember when the show did that whole thing
about how you couldn't control two people getting into a car with a
gun, and it didn't make any sense? I wonder if this episode will
reference that?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
We don't find out, instead cutting
directly to Reid's apartment (somehow he's seems to be still living
in the same place despite getting a nurse murdered down the hall.
You'd think that would be the kind of thing to get him to move),
where he's tidying the place up before Rachel arrives! I don't know
how offended I should be by the fact that the establishing shot shows
the Washington monument. There's just a handful of episodes left –
it's a little late for the show to realize that these people don't
live in DC.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Rachel has arrived to get coffee, and
we get a funny joke about what the two of them consider fast vs slow
in a relationship, but then he gets the call to go to work! Also,
Emily tells him there's something significant about the case – but
we don't hear that part of the conversation!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
So, what's the twist? The lady wants
Aubrey Plaza released from prison in the next 24 hours, or he kills
the father and daughter! Hey, does that mean the father is Aubrey's
long-lost dad, and Susan is her mother, who he killed? Probably not,
but it would be nice to get some resolution on that story, huh? I
guess it's back to scenes with the two of them baiting one another,
huh?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
As Aubrey's led into the building we
get a recap on her character, in which they conveniently omit the
fact that she was a professional murderer who was part of a cabal of
elite assassins. Seems like that would be worth bringing up. Instead
they announce that she was a black widow who seduced and murdered men
– possibly in the hundreds! Of course, they have no reason to think
that, since she killed people in untraceable ways and kept no
records. Also, she was only killing people for a maximum of like
eight or nine years, and that would mean killing like 25 people a
year to hit a number that could be considered 'hundreds'.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
What I'm saying is, they've used up all
of their interesting killers, so now they're pretending she's the
most dangerous killer they've ever faced. Which is just patently
false.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Reid asks her how she arranged the
kidnapping with her outside partner, but Aubrey feigns innocence. She
claims that she's given up on life, has pled guilty to 73 murders,
and is awaiting the death penalty! How does that work, exactly? If
she was arrested for murder in either Maryland or DC, there's no
death penalty. Did she kill anyone in Virginia? Also where are they
getting this number from? The league of assassins weren't keeping a
record of all of their murders, were they? What kind of sense would
that make?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Wow, this episode just got so dumb!
Aubrey complains that they never had sex, and Reid retorts that she
violated him in Mexico. Aubrey responds that the hallucination drugs
make it impossible for someone to get an erection, just like when
they're on MDMA. Which is just... crazy wrong. People have sex on
Ecstacy all of the time. Also, it's an incredibly limited definition
of sex that requires Reid to have an erection.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
More importantly, though, and I can't
believe I have to say this... AUBREY WASN'T IN MEXICO. All of that
was done by Joe Mantegna's daughter, acting as Aubrey's catspaw. She
was in jail the whole time. Does the show not remember that? If not,
how?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Aubrey demands a date, and tells him
that she does, in fact, know about the kidnapping. Reid says he won't
play her game, then immediately goes back to an office and freaks
out, because he's still not over the whole 'drugged and raped and
sent to jail' thing. Really, who could blame him?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
So, will he play along with Aubrey
Plaza's sick game? I mean, obviously yes or there's no episode, but
let's find out after the opening credits!</div>
<a name='more'></a><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
We check in with the team and they
discuss the fact that they can't possibly trust Aubrey to not have a
deeper plan. They mention that this is different from her normal MO,
but somehow miss that her MO was only relevant when she was out and
about, killing people.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
All of the people she had Joe's
Daughter kill weren't part of her MO either, but she did it anyway
because they were means to an end. Doctors, nurses, prison guards –
all not part of her victimology, but they're dead because she likes
playing games.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Why has no one mentioned that she has a
child, BTW? Like... when last we saw her she was 7-8 months pregnant.
What ever happened with that?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Emily ends the scene announcing that
they have to focus on identifying the kidnapped people and their
captor. Which should be done by now, since they have a photo of their
faces. Do these people not have driver's licenses? I mean, we know
the dad does. It's been HOURS, how is this not already dealt with?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Garcia arrives at her desk and finds
that she's got eighty-some voice mails! It seems the number on the
flyer was a direct line to her computer, somehow? Do you not have to
go through an FBI switchboard if you want to contact Garcia? There
was no info like that on the flyer.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Rachel calls Reid to check in, and I
hope she's not in danger, because Reid doesn't arrange any kind of
security for her. I know it's a long shot to imagine that she's going
to be kidnapped or anything like that, but literally the moment Reid
starts dating someone the serial killer who's sexually obsessed with
him decides she wants to go on a date? I'm sure it's just a writer's
contrivance, but why take a chance? Especially with what happened to
that last girlfriend of his.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
We find out that the date Aubrey wants
to go on is ice-skating! I'm guessing she has a specific rink in
mind, as part of her plan? If so, they should not let her go to it. I
just checked, and there are three within easy driving distance, nine
if they want to go all the way to DC. That's way too many for her to
have planned for all of them.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Garcia gives them the message about the
posters, and Aisha and Luke go to grab some of them! They, like the
rest of us, wonder who Susan is, and hopefully facial recognition
technology will tell them quickly enough!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Then it's over to the lady's lair –
she sets up a camera to film the father and daughter as they deny
knowing who Susan is, then she shoots the dad a bunch! But was it
with blanks?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
JJ and Matt tell Emily that they've
discovered the lady's identity – she was Aubrey's old roommate!
Wait, that wasn't the first thing you checked when the demand came
in? What is wrong with you people? More importantly, how does a
person in jail for a low-level drug crime end up in the same prison,
let alone the same cell, as America's most notorious living serial
killer?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Okay, as predicted, it turns out that
the Susan from the picture is Aubrey's mother. So yeah. I guess they
are wrapping up this story after all!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Reid tells Aubrey that they've figured
everything out, and he won't be going on that date with her, after
all! Have they figured everything out, though? Knowing that the guy
is her estranged father and that she'll probably kill them either way
doesn't actually help them find the victims, does it? Especially
since they have just 12 hours left. Aubrey tells Reid that Garcia
should be getting a video, and it's of the dad being shot with
blanks!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />That's all the info the team needs
to press Reid into service for the date. I'm wondering if anything
else was an option, though? They don't have any leads other than to
check surveillance cameras for signs of lady and her victims. Or
possibly run down her financial records – although I'd imagine she
paid cashe for whatever dingy basement she's operating out of.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Reid and Aubrey take a SWAT van to the
skating rink – but it's a roller rink, because ice rinks are too
expensive to rent! She says roller-skating isn't good enough, but
Reid promises an anniversary surprise for them! Which is a little
sad, because this doesn't sync up with their anniversary at all. I
mean, it might have if the show had aired when they intended it to,
but now it's February, and they were Nixoned out of a nice moment.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Unless... It turns out her first
episode aired January 13<sup>th</sup>! So they were within a couple
of weeks of hitting the target! Great work, show!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Oh, and she says that the number '23'
will help them find the kidnapped family. But how?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
The surprise he had in store for her? A
light-up sign that reads Cat+Spence 4EVR. I think 4EVA is the
preferred contraction, but I won't judge them too harshly.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
The team does some brainstorming –
could the 23 refer to the number of chromosomes that humans have?
They suggest that Aubrey's lawyer could have run her DNA against
publicly available databases to locate her father and half-sister. I
don't know how that would help them find the family, though.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Joe and Emily talk about what Aubrey
might have planned. Now they're just following her trail, and since
she's always got a second level scheme, this date with Reid and the
kidnapping can't be all of it! Except no, it absolutely can. Aubrey
has never had a second-level scheme. Their examples are 'she had a
bomb in the restaurant' and 'she pretended to be pregnant with Reid's
baby' (so they do remember that! Where's the baby?) - but those
weren't next-level plans. Both times, she just wanted to get close to
Reid. That was it. The bomb was to make sure they couldn't just
arrest her, giving her time to play a game with him, and the baby was
to mess with his mind, to make him more obsessed with her. Neither
time did she have a second plan that she was covering up.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
JJ and Aisha go to talk to Aubrey's
lawyer, and he confirms the DNA test theory, then gives them the
address that he sent the results to! Could that be where the lady is
hiding out? It would be weird if it was, but then again, who knows
what Aubrey's plan is?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Reid and Aubrey talk some more, and he
finally brings up her baby, asking what happened with that? He should
already know. Her medical records are not secret in any meaningful
way. Did you really never check up on Aubrey after the season 12
finale? He's bad at his job.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
She suggests that she'll give him
information if he'll just have sex with her, but then he hesitates,
and she realizes that he's dating someone, and acts betrayed,
announcing that she's calling the date off! Reid convinces her not to
by saying that all her plans worked, and on some level he's obsessed
with her, just like she is with him! She demands to do everything
with him that Rachel has done, so it's off to Reid's apartment!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
First, SWAT rescues the father, who it
seems was in the lady's hovel after all! So I guess Aubrey doesn't
want this to be too hard for them, huh? Finally we get the twist! The
kidnapped dad isn't Aubrey's father at all! Her dad died in Canada 4
years ago – so the whole thing has been a misdirect so that she
could get time with Reid!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Then things get real, real, real dumb,
as Reid and Aubrey go to the door of his apartment, and she demands
that he kiss her. He does, giving her a chance to open the door,
where Rachel is waiting for them! That's right – even though a
murderer who was obsessed with Reid is masterminding crimes, they
neither put his girlfriend under surveillance or had SWAT clear the
apartment before letting her into it. This is just... terrible.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Oh, wow – it turns out the father and
daughter were Rachel's family! She's got a younger sister as well, it
seems. How did they not already know this? Again, facial recognition
software. Driver's license databases. This isn't that complicated,
people.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Reid has the team leave him alone with
Rachel and Aubrey, hoping that her gloating will offer more clues!
Then the team continues trying to figure out what the endgame is –
they assume that the lade must have her own plans in mind, and isn't
just working for Aubrey! There's no basis for them thinking that, of
course, but it's their show, so I guess they're right?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Emily figures that their only play is
to somehow get Aubrey to call lady – but how can they do that? She
announces they have to talk about 'Max', which is Rachel's
character's name FYI. What is it about her personality or backstory
that they think they can use?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Garcia and Matt dig into lady's
backstory – she went to jail at the same age the sister is now!
Could she be planning to 'groom' her somehow? Of course not, she's
only kidnapped her for a couple of hours, that would make zero sense.
So maybe?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Then it's over to the car that the
sister is driving – she's chauffeuring lady to go kill the man who
got her to take the drug charge and go to prison! Apparently the plan
is to make the sister see that all men are scum? Showing her that
women are crazy murderers should be a great way to accomplish that!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
At Reid's place, Aubrey tries to ruin
his and Rachel's relationship by talking about what a troubled
scumbag Reid is. Which, you know, fair point. She brings up him
threatening to kill her when she'd kidnapped his mother, and it's
awkward! Apparently the big surprise is that Aubrey had a
miscarriage after Reid roughed her up in prison! Which seems like a
stretch, considering how slight the shoving was.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Weirdly this proves to be a surprise to
Reid, which suggests that he did, in fact, completely forget about
her the next day and no one ever bothered to follow up on her case in
any way. How are you all so bad at this?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Aubrey offers Rachel a deal – talk
about the abusive guy in her past, because she's sure there is one,
and she'll make sure lady lets her sister go! Rachel goes along with
it, and talks about her abusive boyfriend! She admits to killing him
in a planned act of self-defense, and Aubrey lets her go!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
We get more about her obsession with
Reid on the drive back to prison, and then it cuts to the next
morning – I guess at some point Rachel's sister was rescued off
camera at some point? Weird way to wrap up that part of the story...</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Reid comes into the office and Emily
tells him it's time for a debriefing! Everyone's there, and they're
happy, so I guess all the stuff Rachel said was a con devised by the
team to trick Aubrey, and they didn't tell Reid about it so his
reactions would be real? Yup, that's exactly what happened.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
THE END
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Except they let Reid off the hook for
the miscarriage, saying it happened 'months later'.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
1 - Was profiling in any way helpful in
solving the crime?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Kind of? I mean, the entirety of their
plan revolved around them 'figuring out' that the target was Rachel,
but she should have been put in protective custody immediately when
the whole thing started, since facial recognition would have
identified her family right away. Also, and I can't stress this
enough, how does Reid not assume she's in danger, given the fact that
his psycho ex is contacting him for the first time in years
immediately after he starts dating someone?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
2 - Could the crime have been solved
just as easily using conventional police methods given the known
facts of the case?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Kind of? I mean, literally all they had
to do was get a list of people that lady was connected to and stake
them out. Just hanging around outside her boyfriend's house would
have resolved things fairly cleanly.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
So, on a scale of 1 (Dirty Harry) to 10
(Tony Hill), How Useful Was Profiling in Solving the Crime?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
4/10 – I'd love to give the team more
credit, but the thing that got it done was Rachel improvising a story
about murdering her abusive boyfriend, and she's not a member of the
team. That said, they didn't really need to 'get it done' at all,
considering that the sister, at that point, was in the easiest place
for the cops to find, but still – partial points!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Seriously, though, how did Reid never
find out any details about Aubrey's miscarriage? Even if he didn't
follow up on her after season 12, they had like an hour between him
agreeing to see her and her getting there. Plenty of time for him to
read her complete updated file. Why didn't he bother to do that?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
And, on a final note – whether or not
he caused a miscarriage, Aubrey is right, Reid absolutely is the kind
of guy who'd grab a woman by the throat, slam her against a wall, and
threaten to kill her. Because he did do all of that.</div>
</div>
Vardulonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17821844774999740966noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9114808246459538090.post-54166300490363669422020-01-30T03:01:00.000-05:002020-01-30T03:01:01.164-05:00Criminal Minds 1505: Ghost<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
The episode opens with some one-on-one
basketball. They toss some rocks and talk some trash, then one is
shot by a sniper! The second guy only has a moment to be puzzled be
fore he, too, is felled by a bullet!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
A bloody bouncing basketball
transitions to a normal basketball in a gym somewhere, where Muscles
and Brown Eyes are having a roundball duel of their own! Matt wins,
but Eric's good about it! At the office some amount of time later -
maybe they were playing before work - the team gets word about the
sniper in Illinois!
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
They start talking about Tim Omundsen
back in season 1 - could this sniper be a copycat? Um... no? Like,
there have been a couple of snipers since then. Luke Cage, the kid
from Suspect Behaviour - since this guy isn't trying to wound people,
there's no reason to bring up the sniper from season 1. Of course,
this is taking place in the same city as his rampage, so there could
be a connection.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
The team rushes to the plane, then we
cut back to Des Plaines, where I guess word hasn't gotten out about
the sniping, because three more people get shot while hanging out in
a park! Maybe it's time to shut down the whole city, like they did
with DC back in 2002. Or was it 2003?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
My question - why are people so
comfortable hanging around in public places when they know there's a
sniper on the loose? Snipers are pretty famously one of the most
alarming types of killers there are for the public. If the first
victim in the parking lot two days earlier had been shot in a
drive-by, or the cops were simply treating it as a standard murder,
that would be one thing - but this is someone killed with a rifle
from far away, and nobody heard a shot, suggesting a silencer of some
kind was being used. That's the kind of crime that makes everyone
ultra-careful until they know that it's been resolved in some
meaningful way.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
This is something that the show forgets
every time - but when compared to real life, the absurdity becomes
obvious. Try to imagine a situation where someone is sniping people
in a city and the cops do literally anything else but chase that
person until they're caught? It basically has never happened.
Especially in a city that's already been through this exact thing.
Imagine how fast DC would be put on lockdown if another sniper showed
up.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
So, will Des Plaines be shut down when
the team gets there? Let's find out after the credits?</div>
<a name='more'></a><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
On the plane, they keep talking as if
this killer is mimicking the work of Tim, even though the only thing
they have in common is that they're shooting people in public places
in the same city. Still, focusing on Tim is the only lead they've
got!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Garcia reveals that two of the three
latest victims survived their shooting! So that's something! Oh, and
the park the latest victim was shot in was named after that SWAT
captain that the team goaded Tim into shooting. So that's a really
solid connection, actually!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Okay, the show just went off the rails
when they go to meet Anthony Denison in the park. They talk about how
cops are going to be the next target - since this killer has now shot
as many people as Tim did before killing a cop, and JJ tries to
rewrite history, announcing that Tim attacked the investigation
because cops were getting too close.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Except no, that's not what happened.
You decided that the SWAT captain was the killer, and you tried to
arrest him, and Tim shot him because you were trying to steal credit
for his work. It was - entirely - your fault that he died.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
While assessing the scene, no one asks
the big question - where was the guy shooting from? There's trees
everywhere, and no buildings towering over the park. Was the guy just
fifty feet away in the bushes? If so, shouldn't finding his sniper's
nest be your top priority right now? Ballistics will let you know
which direction the shots were coming from, after all.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Matt and Eric talk to the woman who
called the cops, and she mentions that she didn't hear any gunshots.
Then they finally look over the body placement, and claim something
strange - that the killer couldn't have fired from a parking lot,
since there were obstacles in the way!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjo7i7xwLeysheydsJWlLJN1eE2cshrel4ejac0eToXjJL0yI1OJKjhhsuyFIJ5mli0lT6R7QS9ORW6lol6q6YJp8D5iZoKvEf-mE6wDRkIySMhC5oyxhAABDo5fM7esnaevze319TLdtOK/s1600/vlcsnap-2020-01-30-02h57m52s173.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="404" data-original-width="720" height="179" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjo7i7xwLeysheydsJWlLJN1eE2cshrel4ejac0eToXjJL0yI1OJKjhhsuyFIJ5mli0lT6R7QS9ORW6lol6q6YJp8D5iZoKvEf-mE6wDRkIySMhC5oyxhAABDo5fM7esnaevze319TLdtOK/s320/vlcsnap-2020-01-30-02h57m52s173.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
But no, there weren't. As we learned
from Jack Reacher, a guy could have stopped his van, fired three
shots out the window, and driven away. There's plenty of clean
sightlines based on the images we see. Nice try, though!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Anyhoo, they use their complete lack of
understanding of how shooting works to offer a bold new theory -
maybe the killer wasn't firing from a long distance at all! Wait,
what? You think someone got close up with a rifle and no one noticed
them? Or were they not shot with rifle bullets? If not, that's
information we really, really, really need to have.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Oh, and we see a guy standing in the
woods, watching the investigation, wearing a motorcycle helmet. Is he
the killer? That would be incredibly dumb, since there must be fifty
cops around controlling access to the area. He'd never be able to get
away.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
At the ME's office we get the news -
the three new victims were shot with 9MM pistol rounds! Then the
ballistics reports come in - two different guns were used in the
park, and both had silencers! Fun fact - a ballistics report couldn't
tell you that a silencer was used with any kind of accuracy. It could
tell you that different guns were used, and there's a decent chance
you could match it to a specific gun, but silencers don't leave lots
of telltale marks on bullets.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Also, was the parking lot guy shot with
a pistol as well, or was he actually hit with a rifle? I feel like
they would have known about it by now if he was shot with a pistol.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
The team interviews family members and
witnesses of the crimes, but get no leads! They puzzle over why this
'copycat' is killing so much faster than Tim did. Now that we've
found out that it's multiple people using pistols, is it really
useful to be thinking of these guys as copycats at all?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
They get a tip that the killers were
seen leaving the park in a grey sedan - just like Tim did! Could this
be a plan to lure cops into an ambush? The team mentions that the
accelerated timeline could be designed to make cops vulnerable to
attack, but that doesn't actually make any sense. If they wanted to
kill cops, it's never hard to find or ambush one. Shooting five
people in three hours will only serve to put the cops on high alert.
But maybe that's what the killers want? A challenge worthy of them?
And this is actually a copycat of the cop-hunter from season 4?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
As the team sets up a convoy to go to
the place where the sedan was last seen - an apartment building close
to Tim's old residence - we cut over to a bunch of bikers prepping
something in a garage nearby! They've got a van and multiple bikes
ready to move - are they going to attack the convoy? That would be a
deeply stupid idea, so maybe!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Yup! They throw a flash grenade into an
FBI SUV and kidnap Matt and Eric, leaving Aisha behind! The team gets
there a minute later, but the bikers are gone! So... wait... do these
bikers have a specific problem with team members from the BAU, and
they 'copycatted' a crime of theirs to lure them to the city? That's
an insane plan.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
In the ambulance Aisha wants to be
hypnotized so that she can remember details about who attacked them!
I don't know how much help she'll be, since everyone was wearing
masks, but who knows? Maybe they talked loudly while she was
half-conscious?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
At the abduction site the team wonders
why the MO has switched so drastically. They realize that the team
must have been the real targets all along! Twist! Luckily Aisha's
hypnotism has worked, and she's able to remember the killer's hand
tattoo! Like an idiot, he wasn't wearing motorcycle gloves! Of
course, if he had been, the tattoo would have just been on his
forearm, so that's not a big problem, really.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Garcia runs down the tattoo and goes
over Matt and Eric's bios - they were the targets, so they must have
something in common! Could it be from before they were on the BAU?
Wait... what would the bikers have done if they weren't both in the
same SUV? That's quite a bit of luck!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Then it's back over to the bikers, who
are apparently planning on delivering the guys to someone? They were
hired to do this? By whom? The head of the bikers does have a history
with the two of them, however - and he's annoyed that they don't
recognize him! So he beats them up a little, because, again, he's a
bad guy.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
The whole scene is kind of confusing,
because they're talking about 'burning the pigs' and 'making a drop',
but it's not clear if the two are related. It would be weird if they
weren't, but you never know with a show like this!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Garcia identifies the killer right
away! He was a mob hitman that fled to Europe, where Matt chased him
down, and then Eric caught him at his brother's house! Which led to
the brother being sent to jail for ten years for letting the killer
stay with him! That's not enough of a motive for the team, however -
getting revenge on two cops can't be what this whole thing is about,
so they keep digging for things that the killer could be up to
specifically in Des Plaines.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
This is one of those weird situations
where the characters seem to have read the script. Any other person
on earth would look at the facts - a twist psychopath lured the two
FBI agents who were responsible for his arrest to a town, then
grabbed them - and think 'yup, that must be what's going on here!'
It's only these characters who would look at this absolutely
preposterous situation and think 'no, there must be another level of
madness to it!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
There's a more natural way to get to a
lead - just looking for any resources or connections the killer has
to the city is a totally believable thing for them to be doing
without the extra 'we know there must be something bigger at work
here' nonsense. Because out all of the other times the team was
targeted, only once was something bigger going on. And that was a
prison break. A prison break that only failed because they targeted
the team.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />Yes, I remember the time Mr.
Scratch 'used them' to get a list of people with MPD, but zero parts
of that story made sense, so I'm not counting it.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
At the warehouse, the killer makes a
strong argument that it's just a personal thing, since his brother
was murdered by a rival gang when they were put in prison! He blames
the two men for getting his brother put in the same maximum security
lockup where murderers who hated him were located! Which is a pretty
good point, actually, since all the brother did was let his
on-the-lam brother stay with him for a little while.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
He also mentions that the gang cut up
his face to remind him of his dead brother, but the makeup artists
didn't do much with his face, so that doesn't really land.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Hey, how did Penelope not immediately
know the brother was dead? I know it's because they wanted the reveal
to be in this scene, but then end the last scene with her looking at
the file and being shocked by what she finds, then cutting away
before the reveal. But no, they have her find out what happened in
the next scene, because she's apparently terrible at her job.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />We get some nonsense psychology as
the team finds out about the brother's death - apparently his tongue
was cut out, so maybe he was talking to the screws inside the prison?
The team decides that it's a classic case of transference, and the
killer is taking out his anger on Matt and Eric because he can't get
back at the people who killed him! This seems like a stretch - as if
the show is saying it's unreasonable that he would be angry at the
cops who put his brother in jail where he got killed, and he needs
extra motivation to hate them. He really doesn't, though.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Matt and Eric try to drive a wedge
between the killer and his gang by claiming that the brother was
turning state's evidence against him and his lieutenant had the
brother killed - which is why the killer was only injured! The killer
finds this compelling because they know the lieutenant's name:
"Flea". Of course, all the bikers have been talking loudly
in the next room, so why would that be strange information for them
to have?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Still, it's convincing enough to get
the killer to shoot Flea! Which suggests the plan to sow dissent in
the ranks might not be as successful as they'd hoped!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Garcia identifies the tattoo as
belonging to an outlaw biker gang and Joe calls his biker task force
contact to see if they know anything that's going on in the area!
Presumably they'll get onto the big deal, which raises an important
question - why did the bikers think that having the whole town on
high alert because a sniper was on the loose would somehow make it
easier for them to make some kind of illicit deal? Wouldn't the cops
be suspicious of anyone driving around the city when there's a mass
murderer on the loose?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Joe and Emily go to talk to an
undercover FBI agent at a local biker bar, and he tells them that the
killer's gang is using an abandoned warehouse as a base of
operations! Garcia quickly uses CCTV footage to find one that bikes
have been going into and out of recently! Wait, couldn't she have
been tracking bikers literally the moment they knew it was bikers,
six hours ago? Anyhoo, that was easy!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Also, it was kind of unnecessary, since
Matt was able to pick his handcuffs with a piece of wood, or maybe a
small nail, setting him and Eric free to kill all the bikers! Well,
except for one, who gets the drop on Matt at the end and Joe shoots
him just in time!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
THE END</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Except for a scene on the plane, where
Eric and Matt talk about how the trick about killing Flea gave them
the edge they needed! Also the brother wasn't actually talking to the
cops, that was just a lie Matt told.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
It's a nice attempt to make their
psychology skills seem relevant to the case, but did they need to
escape? The team was right outside the building, and if Flea was
still alive, it wouldn't have affected the timeline in any meaningful
way. Still, you've got to pretend, right?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
1 - Was profiling in any way helpful in
solving the crime?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Nope!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
2 - Could the crime have been solved
just as easily using conventional police methods given the known
facts of the case?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
They found a guy who disliked both Matt
and Eric, and he was the killer. Database management solved the case
this week.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
So, on a scale of 1 (Dirty Harry) to 10
(Tony Hill), How Useful Was Profiling in Solving the Crime?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
1/10 - Hey, if the bikers just drove
the van back to the warehouse, why weren't they able to track that on
CCTV? Later on Garcia finds the warehouse in question because there's
footage of bikes driving in and out of it - information that takes
her five seconds and ten keystrokes to get, BTW - so why not do the
same thing for the black van which was driving around on basically
empty streets?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Weird how the planned drop never wound
up amounting to anything, isn't it?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />This wasn't a good episode.</div>
</div>
Vardulonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17821844774999740966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9114808246459538090.post-41150047241632158712020-01-23T03:28:00.001-05:002020-01-23T04:29:31.243-05:00Criminal Minds 1504: Saturday<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">The episode opens in the Quantico office, where a klaxon is blaring and red lights are shining. Is this a biological attack on the FBI? That would be a twist! Especially since the FBI has been attacked a whole bunch on this show. Like, special forces guys, evil cults, rogue cops, hackers - the FBI building of Criminal Minds is not as secure as one wants it to be.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="color: white;"></span><span style="background-color: black;"></span><br /></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">The camera pans down from the red light to the floor - passing a photograph of a bald man along the way. I'm not watching this in HD, so I have no idea who it might be. It's not the president or the attorney general, so maybe this is a cameo by one of the producers? Could it be what Jim Clemente actually looks like?</span></div>
<div style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="color: white;"></span><span style="background-color: black;"></span><br /></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">We pan across the room - turns out it's the main work area where most people's desks are! And it's full of bodies, and people have guns lying next to them. Is this some kind of a drill? I feel like a full-on assault on the FBI is a weird way to start an episode. It would be quite a drill if it was, though, since a bunch of people are covered in blood!</span></div>
<div style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="color: white;"></span><span style="background-color: black;"></span><br /></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Reid enters the room, his gun drawn as he looks for his target. Maybe this is a dream? Of course, that's happened already, while a drill would be fresh, if kind of preposterous. Okay, it's a dream, or maybe a book someone is writing - out in the hallway Reid find a guy in a butcher's apron with a bloody axe.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="color: white;"></span><span style="background-color: black;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">God, how great would it be - since they're leaning on slasher imagery anyhow - if they'd used the Jason from that Gubler episode in season 10? You know, the one they never bothered to try and catch?</span></div>
<div style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="color: white;"></span><span style="background-color: black;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">The Jason attacks Reid, but then it turns out he was just telling his therapist about a dream he'd had! That's right, after getting definitively dumped by JJ, Reid is finally seeking help for his issues! Good for him! Seriously, I am proud of the guy.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="color: white;"></span><span style="background-color: black;"></span><br /></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">The therapist gives him the hardest assignment of his life - go for one day without thinking about his job, and try to actually speak to a human being. She even gets him to admit that he has no friends or life outside of work! I cannot express how happy I am that the show is finally realizing just how screwed up Reid has always been, and is working to set him on a good path before things wrap up. Better late than never, right?</span></div>
<div style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="color: white;"></span><span style="background-color: black;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">His new project leads to awkwardness when he thinks a woman in the elevator is talking to him, but no, it's just a phone call on her headphones.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="color: white;"></span><span style="background-color: black;"></span><br /></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Joe drops by Matt's house to help him prep for the new baby! Which leads to some wackiness with him trying to assemble a crib! You'd think he'd have this down by baby #5, but apparently not. Also, he's annoyed at himself for having accidentally ordered the crib in red, so he's pretending that's what he meant to do! I don't know why he's so hard on it, though, the red crib looks awesome. What was he going to have, white? Bare wood? Live on the edge, dude.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="color: white;"></span><span style="background-color: black;"></span><br /></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Emily is also there to help! If by help, you mean 'drink wine and eat donuts'. Then she gets a phone call - is it a case? No, it seems that Garcia is hosting a hacking workshop in the office! That's right, she invited a bunch of hackers into FBI headquarters, and they're working inside the FBI with only her supervision. This breaks basically every kind of security protocol there is, right?</span></div>
<div style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="color: white;"></span><span style="background-color: black;"></span><br /></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">One of her students asks her for help on dealing with a cyberstalker! Wait... is there not going to be a murder this week? Are they doing another episode about stalking? It's been what... 11 years or something like that?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Let's find out after the opening credits!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Garcia calls in JJ, Eric and Aisha to help, since I guess they had no weekend plans? They decide to search her apartment and check out her exes, which is a completely logical way to handle this! Unless, of course, you have a supernaturally gifted hacker in the room, and she can just track the guy who's sending her messages. Why is Garcia not doing that, exactly? Does she want to have some fun with her work friends and doesn't take this woman's fear seriously?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Over at Matt's house, a process server arrives to help someone sue Emily! She goes bug-eyed with frustration, which seems like a bit much. I mean, when I was sued, I reacted with sad resignation to the process server's arrival, but it's possible that wasn't an appropriate response.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Emily turns out to be the worst at everything! How do I know this? Her response to an old neighbour suing her and the federal government for spying on him is to have some goons drag him down to Quantico so she can confront him on her turf. To his credit, Joe points out that this is a terrible idea - he only points out that it's going to play into the guy's paranoia. He doesn't point out that this is a gross misuse of government resources, and a hugely inappropriate way to wield her significant amount of power. Like... she should get fired for doing this.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Then it's over to Reid, who's begging to be let in on the stalking case. JJ reminds him that's the opposite of what his therapist said to do, and then the call is interrupted when an inappropriate child comes up and tells Reid that he has a ridiculous haircut for a grown man. Was this episode written for me, specifically? I've been saying this for like a decade at this point. It's not great that my opinions are being represented by a child with some kind of a conduct disorder (he immediately asks to touch Reid's hair), but still, I'll take what I can get!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">The kid's mother (Josie and the Pussycats' Rachel Leigh Cook!) arrives and drags the kid away, but then finds that her car is being towed! Reid tries to use his FBI badge to intimidate the tow truck driver - so just lots of unprofessionalism this week - but the driver knows his rights, and takes the car! The kid starts having a panic attack, also it turns out Rachel is his aunt, not mother, and Reid distracts him with close-up magic. It works! Is that believable? I don't know, but I'd like to think so.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Aisha and JJ go to interrogate the stalkee's latest ex-boyfriend. He's a full-time twitch streamer, which makes them think he'd be technologically savvy enough to pull off this kind of hateful cyber-harassment! Although, if he's a Twitch streamer, wouldn't he have made tons of public statements about how awful his ex was? It would be weird if that kind of an extrovert would be also secretly cyberstalking someone. Then again, it takes all kinds!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">They decide that because the twitcher is sexually active he can't be the stalker - since only incels slut-shame and threaten women. Um... you might want to rethink that, ladies. They decide to keep him locked up in an interview room in case he comes up with any leads! They don't ask him for any, though, which is weird. Like, you're looking for someone who's sexually obsessed with this lady - don't you think there's a chance that her sleazy public boyfriend might have been targeted for harassment as well? Maybe not, but it's a pretty good theory.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Matt chats with Joe about how broke that family is - tuition for five kids adds up! Joe doesn't have much advice to offer - he didn't pay any money to raise his kid, and he's rich from exploiting tragedy over and over again - but he offer to take a look at their finances anyhow!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Emily arrives at the office, to find superstar comedian Paul F. Tompkins (Mr. Peanutbutter!) waiting to talk with her. He's brought a crazy person conspiracy board with him! This should be fun!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">At the stalkee's apartment, Eric and Garcia detect a signal that spy equipment is broadcasting! So they tear the place apart looking for cameras and microphones! I guess I don't really understand how this spy stuff works, but shouldn't they be able to use a signal strength detecting device to get a general idea where the bug is, rather than tearing the whole room apart?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Turns out that there's bugs literally everywhere! Also there's a secret panel under the floorboards where the guy has been hiding - directly under the stalkee's bed! What? Does the guy own this building? What kind of building has three feet of empty space under the floorboards? It feels like an apartment owner would have to specifically build it that way just for the purposes of stalking. Yes, the bed is on a slightly raised platform, but there's usually not empty space under those. After all, the ceiling moves up an equal amount from one room to the next, which suggests that all the apartments above and below have the same layout. This doesn't make any sense as a real place.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Unless, again, it's a building built specifically by and for stalking, like the movie Sliver. What a delightful romp.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Garcia and the gang go over the facts in evidence - the guy had huge amount of photo and audio recordings of her but it all stopped abruptly when she broke up with the twitcher, and then he moved on to the cyberstalking. Did he lose access to the building when the twitcher and her split? Is that why all of his cameras and the hard drive they were recording to were left in the apartment? The team has dismissed Twitcher as a suspect, but don't notice how strange it is that the stalker got further away from her after the breakup, rather than closer.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Matt goes out to get a tool to remove a stripped screw - this is why you should only use Robinson screws, people - and Joe goes to talk to Matt's wife. It seems Matt has a book of bedtime stories for his kids about his international travels! Presumably he elides over all of the serial killer parts. Will Joe use his publishing world connections to get them published and help with the family finances? It would be weird if he didn't.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Paul confronts Emily with the fact that he's being watched all the time, and Emily's response is 'yeah, everyone is, we live in a dystopian surveillance state'. This doesn't satisfy him. He points out that it's super-weird that she faked her own death and then mysteriously reappeared years later. She doesn't explain the Ian Doyle situation, which is a pity, because I'd like to see the writers compress that into 45 seconds of speed-talking. Actually, I'd be equally happy if we cut back in the next scene to Emily just having spent four hours explaining the whole thing to Paul, and him just being blown away by all of it.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Eric and Garcia talk to the stalkee, who's freaked out because she's a bit of a shut-in, and has no idea where she could have met anyone who might want to stalk her!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">More with Reid and Rachel! She's an art history major who now teaches 1st grade art! They have a nice chat! Then the kid's mom picks him up, and suggests the two single people go out on a date! Largely because she doesn't know how screwed up Reid is. Still, it's pleasant!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Garcia and Eric talk about why she's so invested in the case! Since she has to go to the dark parts of the web she's surrounded by hatefulness all of the time, and she's even being stalked by a Russian hacker herself! She can't fix her own issues, but the stalkee's are manageable, so she's going to get it done!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">It's back to Emily and Paul, but it's not funny at all, because she's just trying to explain why she can't say anything. Except, you knew, you can, everyone but your boss is dead. It's not really a secret any more. Then Aisha comes to offer some advice, and Emily notices that she looks a lot like Paul's type, and asks her to give him the brush off!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">She does, playing into his delusion by telling him that he's being watched by powerful forces who will do awful things to him if he pursues the lawsuit! This definitely sounds like a way to keep someone from sending mail bombs to the NSA! No, wait, it sounds like the opposite of that.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Rachel and Reid get a hot dog while he talks about his dream, and she points out that he must have the most stressful job in the world. It takes someone from outside of the show's reality to make him notice that he gets way more guns pointed at him than is normal. So she tells him to have uncomplicated fun to get his mind off of his terrible job! This is good advice, and I can't believe it's taken like 15 years for someone to get it to him. I guess he listens because she's pretty?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">At the office Emily and Garcia notice that the twitcher's voice is always louder on recordings because the microphone was aimed at him. He must be the target of the stalker's obsession! They immediately jump to the conclusion that the stalker is a closeted gay man who is tortured by his obsession with twitcher. Are you sure it's not a woman, though? Like, do you have any evidence it's not a woman?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Given the fact that the stalker moved on when the twitcher moved out, shouldn't they have already considered the possibility that he was the focus? Heck, I stand by my statement that their first thought should have been 'interview the guy about any harassment he's received' considering the obsession accelerated after his relationship with the woman broke up.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">The twitcher remembers that when they were dating a guy two floors down seemed like he had a creepy obsession with him. Also he's a locksmith! Why would that not occur to you hours ago, dude?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Back at Matt's house, Joe offers to co-write a book with Matt about the gruesome cases he's seen working abroad! A chance to sell Americans xenophobia in the form of true crime? It's exactly what the world needs more of! I'm being sarcastic, of course, but obviously he's going to do it. If only he'd done the children's books instead.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Also, it's baby time!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Reid and Rachel's date ends, and they agree to talk to one another again!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Aisha shows Paul out of the building, and has a psychiatrist waiting to talk to him! Yes, tricking a man into therapy. That should go great!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">The team arrests the stalker!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">THE END</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Except for a bit with the kid being born and everyone chatting about their day. Then Reid goes to track down Rachel who told him to find her somehow. They just meet at the food truck from the start, which is a disappointment, since I was hoping that he'd be waiting for her at the place where her car was towed. Which would have been a nicer ending, I think.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">1 - Was profiling in any way helpful in solving the crime?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Nope!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">2 - Could the crime have been solved just as easily using conventional police methods given the known facts of the case?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">They asked the stalkees if there was anyone creepy in their lives. They knew who it was immediately.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">So, on a scale of 1 (Dirty Harry) to 10 (Tony Hill), How Useful Was Profiling in Solving the Crime?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">1/10 - So this is a hangout episode - maybe the first one the show has ever done? It was a nice change of pace - too bad it took them 15 years to try this! I mean, they did that one episode about stalking all those years ago, but it wasn't really a hangout episode, especially because the B story was one of the most intense and real things they've ever done!</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Hey, if the couple splitting up didn't end the stalker's access to the apartment - and it didn't, because while she's a bit of a shut-in, she's not there 24/7, why didn't he go back and get all of his evidence?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Wouldn't it be great if, because the ratings for the last six episodes don't actually matter, the show's ending no matter what, they kept doing experimental stuff like this, and didn't have any more brutal murders until they wrap up the Face Off killer stuff at the end of the season?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">I mean, I know that's not what's going to happen, and we'll be back to brutal murders next week, but wouldn't it be nice?</span></div>
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Vardulonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17821844774999740966noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9114808246459538090.post-26324787742174550712020-01-17T01:34:00.000-05:002020-01-17T01:34:16.602-05:00Criminal Minds Video Reviews!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Vardulonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17821844774999740966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9114808246459538090.post-66166432474285391652020-01-17T01:22:00.000-05:002020-01-17T01:22:32.154-05:00Criminal Minds 1503: Spectator Slowing<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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The episode opens with a mother and daughter arriving at home in rural Memphis! The mom finds a package sitting underneath her mailbox, and brings it into the house with them. I'd be a little annoyed at the mailman at this point, since the package looks to be book sized, and it only wrapped in brown paper. If any water gets on that it will wreck whatever's inside. Couldn't the mail carrier have at least dropped it off on the porch?</div>
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I guess since this place is rural all of the mail delivery is done out of the side of a truck, so that's not actually possible, but make an exception once in a while, people!</div>
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The family heads inside and it turns out that the package was a bomb, so you can just disregard everything I said about the mailman in the past two paragraphs. Weirdly, the bomb was disguised as a photo album, and it didn't blow up until the mother opened the cover and saw something sinister inside!</div>
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Let's think happy thoughts - it wasn't a very big bomb, so while the mother, who was standing next to it, is probably dead, the daughter who was at the end of the table is probably fine!</div>
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In whatever suburb of DC they live in, Matt and his wife talk about her being on bed rest due to the imminent birth of their fifth child! Wow. Lots of kids. Based on the size of the littlest one, maybe one of them was born during the first season of Beyond Borders? Something for me to find out at some point, anyhow. Looks like Matt's going to take a week off from the whole 'flying around the country' thing to look after his wife. Will we have a new kid by the end of the episode? Fingers crossed!</div>
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At the office we find that JJ is back at work. So I guess this is eight weeks after the last episode? I mean, she had a lung collapsed by a bullet, that's not something you bounce back from. What do you want to bet no one is going to mention the face off killer until - maybe - the end of the episode? I mean, a wanted serial killer did a mass shooting at the headquarters of the justice department then stole hundreds of thousands of dollars from a rich, well-connected family, torturing the daughter of that family in the process. I feel like that's all anyone would talk about until he was in jail, you know?</div>
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Time for case details! The mother and daughter are both in the hospital, but might pull through! I guess they need the mother to tell them what was in the photo album? They confirm that the killer dropped off the packages himself, rather than actually mailing them, which Reid thinks is strange, because 'mail bombers' generally want to stay as far away from their victims as possible. This is a better of a stretch in describing the MO, though - many bombers drop off the bombs personally. The unabomber dropped off bombs himself (hence the sketch), the show's fake version of the mormon bomber (and the real guy) dropped bombs off himself - it's not as big a deviation from the profile as Reid would suggest.</div>
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Emily ends the scene by suggesting that Matt should consult by phone, since his military experience with explosives should be helpful. You know, Eric's sitting right there. He was also a special forces guy. Like, unless Matt's actual job in the military was bomb disposal I don't know why he would be especially good at this.</div>
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Oh, and she once again says 'Wheels up in 10, because after being in charge of the team for 4 (4!) years, she still doesn't know how long it takes to drive to the airfield'.</div>
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Then we get a disgusting scene of a guy buying a dead body so that he can see how a bomb destroys it. The question is, is this guy the bomber from the last three bombs, or is someone out there giving these bombs to people in order to let them settle scores of their own? The only reason I suggest such a crazy idea (that's certainly wrong) is that it's kind of strange for a guy to only now be testing what his bombs do to a dead body, three bombs in. Then again, maybe he was unsure of himself because the last two victims survived? Yeah, that makes way more sense.</div>
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Oh, and the killer was annoyed that the grave-robber wasn't able to get the body of a woman, so he puts the dead old man in the yellow dress that he'd bought for the occasion - that's how focused he is on he fantasy of blowing up a specific person.</div>
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So, who is the focus of this killer's rage? Let's find out together, after the credits!</div>
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The team spreads out all over the city to investigate, as they usually do, but weirdly no one mentions the dangers of putting all of their eggs in the 'Memphis' basket. What do I mean by that? Well, the previous two bombings happened in the very recent past in Ohio and Kentucky - this is the bomber's third state inside of a week. There's no reason (yet) to suspect that the killer lives in Kentucky, or is planning more attacks there - shouldn't they be doing the full-court investigative press in all of the cities, rather than just one?</div>
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Matt gets on the phone with Joe to talk him through bomb construction - it seems there's no sign of an integral trigger or timer within the various fragments, which leads Matt to guess that the bomber is setting them off himself (which we saw him do in the end of that corpse blowing up scene). I feel like it's going to be fairly significant to the profile that this guy needs to see the bomb go off. Also, I feel like there should have been clear evidence of an antenna in with the bomb fragments if the guy was able to set the bombs off with a car door unlocker.</div>
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In a nice note, the show briefly remembers that Joe plays video games, and suggests Matt distracts his kids with one of those, rather than a board game, which most kids would be bored by! Smart man, that Joe.</div>
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Joe and Emily look over the shredded books from the crime scenes, and it seems they were all photo albums - the last one contained a photo of the house where the victims live! Emily thinks there must be a clue in the picture beyond it being simple intimidation, but we don't get a good enough look at the photo to figure out what that might be.</div>
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Matt does a terrible job of finding an activity for the kids - he suggests they cook something they've never had before as a surprise for mommy! You know she's probably pretty careful about what she's eating at the moment, don't you, Matt? Also, and I can't stress this enough kids fussy eaters at the best of times (they have much stronger taste buds than adults, so everything tastes too intense or weird), so maybe it's not the best idea to challenge them with a strange meal when your only job is to keep them busy on a day off of school?</div>
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Especially when the random book they choose is Moroccan food, and Matt randomly suggests a recipe full of ginger and Tumeric. Dude, just quit while you're way behind and order a pizza.</div>
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Which, thankfully, is exactly what he does!</div>
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At the hospital Reid and JJ meet with the parents/grandparents of the latest victim. Apparently the mother's ex (not the father, no mention of him) is a total scumbag who needs to be looked at! That gets unwound in the next scene, however, when it turns out that he had an alibi for all of the crimes. Oh well.</div>
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The team still hasn't been able to find any connection between the three victims, at least anything that could have sparked the killer's interest. Reid is apparently working up a geograhphic profile, but that's going to be even less useful here than it normally is-</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7KYod3dOBx9O8YaWzg-8l8H2Xf-YjSANKAJUWdP6hO17_NRqJItFFnieMn74agfqKCYHwdcPAw6WjZg91vMjU5vKOFjSfSlZ6X3nPmGQiLKemZeiFZn46xhgxpE14WntcxmgSmQ999Rmz/s1600/vlcsnap-2020-01-17-01h19m45s749.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="360" data-original-width="640" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7KYod3dOBx9O8YaWzg-8l8H2Xf-YjSANKAJUWdP6hO17_NRqJItFFnieMn74agfqKCYHwdcPAw6WjZg91vMjU5vKOFjSfSlZ6X3nPmGQiLKemZeiFZn46xhgxpE14WntcxmgSmQ999Rmz/s320/vlcsnap-2020-01-17-01h19m45s749.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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As you can see, the killer has travelled over a thousand miles to commit these crimes, which makes his 'zone of comfort' roughly 60% of the united states. But no, Reid, go ahead and draw some circles on a map, I'm sure that will help.</div>
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Then it's over to the killer, who watches someone drive away from their house before approaching it with a bomb!</div>
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In a funny scene, Reid essentially admits that a geographic profile is probably useless in this case, but extrapolates - based on nothing - that the killer is from another part of the country and isn't familiar with this territory at all! There's no reason to suspect this is the case. Luke suggests that him not being from around there could be the reason he doesn't mail his packages, which is the opposite of logic, I think? You think that because a guy doesn't know his way around, he's more likely to want to expose himself by driving through a strange neighbourhood and planting a bomb himself, rather than trusting a courier service? What kind of sense does that make?</div>
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JJ points out the more sane justification - that the killer is only planting them himself because he wants the thrill of pushing a button and watching someone blow up. Then the grandmother arrives with a letter from the victim's mail - it's a taunting card gloating about the murder along with a stalker photo of the victim! Everyone is super-comfortable touching these things with their hands, getting their sweat and fingerprints all over them, because they couldn't care less about evidence collection, I guess.</div>
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Then the bomber kills his next victim, and it's confirmed that he waits for his victims to see the stalker photo before pushing the button! Also I guess he takes photos of it as it's happening, because he's watching the whole thing through the lens of a camera.</div>
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More bomb info from Matt! It seems that the bomb from the teaser was specifically built to ensure the best possible chance of the victims surviving - with less charge and less shrapnel! They decide that this means the guy was 'more sadistic' since he wanted people to live on, suffering. This is, of course, a ridiculous idea, since there's no way of knowing what bomb pieces are going to do - and no one who survives a bomb blast is going to be sad they weren't killed. Unless you found a way to, I don't know, maybe ensure someone was blinded and deafened by a blast, the whole idea of a guy being 'more cruel' by not killing someone with a bomb is just absurd.</div>
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The team finds out about the new bomb - which was set off just an hour south of town. That's right, their decision to go all-in on Tennessee for no reason has proven fruitful! Then it's over to the bomber, who's prepping his next bomb while having memories of watching his mother get beaten by his father!</div>
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Reid and Emily puzzle out why there's no connection between the victims, and Reid eventually has an idea - what if the funeral notices being sent are a sign that the killer is really mad at the families of the victims, and the connection might be between them! Wait... Garcia wasn't already checking into the families of the victims? You know those people are suspects, right? What is she doing with her time? Also, that doesn't explain the powered-down bomb.</div>
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Seriously, though - the other two families each got a card in the mail with a stalker photo of the victim and a gloating message, and we're only just now hearing about it? That should have been your main piece of evidence after the first bombing!</div>
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More with Matt and his wife. Apparently the board game is a disaster, because instead of simply playing Monopoly and teaching the kids why capitalism sucks, he bought some nonsense over the internet, and the instructions are in a foreign language! Oh Matt, you're terrible at this. Let the kids go back to Smash Brothers. No, his solution is to just throw blank dice and let everyone pretend what the numbers are, so that the youngest kids can win! And everyone's fine with that, I guess?</div>
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Wow... they find the connection between the families almost immediately. The grandparents were on a cruise on the St. Lawrence recently, and five people decided to rent a car and drive around Quebec for a day! Now their families are being bombed! But why?</div>
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They talk about bringing the grandparents in for protective custody because they're obviously still targets - but if that was a possibility, why did you let them leave the building? Oh, and they find out that the corpse was dressed as a woman, and the team thinks that this means the killer has a specific target in mind, and what with the overkill, Aisha suggests it might be time for 'endgame'. Except, you know, he already killed someone with a less powerful bomb than that after the corpse test, and we saw him putting the latest bomb together.</div>
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Then the killer drops by the hospital and chats with the grandmother. He's got a box in his hands! Is there a bomb in it? He asks what doctor is treating the family members, and walks off! We already saw him making a book bomb, though, and this box is too small for that. Maybe he has two on the go? Also, why aren't the victims already being protected? Other than the two of them, the guy has a perfect record of killing everyone - why aren't they figuring he might be coming back? Or maybe they are - it's not like we've seen that the victims don't have a guard, after all.</div>
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Eric arrives to lock down the hospital, and it turns out that no, there was no guard on the victims and a bomb has been left in their room! Luckily he's there in time to get everyone out before it goes off - but instead of fleeing himself and waiting for the bomb disposal people to arrive, he pops the lid off the package, not understanding that this could be the trigger - it's not, there's a timer, but there's no reason for him to have suspected that.</div>
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It was a fake bomb, though - just another step in the guy's war of terror against his victims! Somehow they don't have a clear image of the guy, despite the cameras all over the place! So, why is he focused on this family - does it have something to do with how he described his mother as having been in an accident? More importantly, how is the killer finding these people? Actually, maybe that's not so hard - he would just have to know the names of one or two of them and then he could probably search instagram for the rest if they were all tourists together.</div>
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Joe and Emily interview the grandfather to find out what happened on their Quebec trip - no mention is made of talking to the other victims' families, probably because of the tight budgetary restrictions the show is operating under. It's only after going through the whole trip that the grandfather remembers that 'oh yeah, BTW one of the people I went on a drive with insisted that we stop and take a picture of a murder house'. How is this not the headline! You don't forget being asked to take a detour to go to a house covered in yellow police tape. That's the most interesting thing that happened to you this year before your daughter and granddaughter got blown up!</div>
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Joe and Emily immediately recognize the importance of it - a guy in Montreal had been killing old people to steal their pension checks and then when he was caught he blew himself up! And that was the house they visited!</div>
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In maybe the dumbest thing that has happened in the episode, the grandmother gets a phone call from the doctor who demands she come back to the hospital immediately. Let's recall that the killer knows the doctor's name, since she told it to him. She's not suspicious, though, and immediately leaves without telling anyone that she's going, even though she's the target of a serial killer, and the grandfather is in the next room, and would probably also like to know about whatever the doctor told her!</div>
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Seriously, this episode is just absurdly stupid, even by Criminal Minds' own standards.</div>
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The grandfather remembers that when his wife took the picture of the guy in front of the house she stepped on a bouquet the killer left! Also she was wearing a yellow dress! And he now remembers that the killer was there, watching them desecrate what was I guess the place his mother died?</div>
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The team realizes that the grandmother must be the target, and suddenly notices that she's disappeared! We then cut to the family home, where a cop is standing! He hears someone struggling nearby, and goes to investigate - it's the grandmother tied up. The cop gets shocked with a stun gun, and the killer looms nearby, meancingly!</div>
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Um... what? How did the killer get her to the house that the cop was guarding without anyone noticing? They live in the middle of nowhere. There's no other houses anywhere around. Or streetlights. Or paved roads. You can hear a car coming literally a mile away in a place like that.</div>
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<br />Also how did the killer kidnap the grandmother? Where did he tell her to go on the phone - if it was anywhere but the hospital wouldn't she have found that strange? But how could he have intercepted her?</div>
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After the commercial break, we learn that apparently she was summoned to the hospital to 'fill out forms' - and no cops went with her because it was a shift change? Except no, that's not what happened - she didn't tell anyone she was leaving. We know that, because we saw her get up and leave. This still doesn't explain how he intercepted her.</div>
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Garcia finds out that the son of the last victim of the Montreal serial killer is a crazy psycho himself, and decides he must be the killer! Then they find out that the cop who's guarding the house isn't answering calls, so that must be where he is!</div>
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Then it's over to the killer, who does a little monologue about how, in an incredible coincidence, his mother used to work a tour for people going to see the sites of disasters! Yeah, that's too big of a coincidence. Let's just dismiss this part of the plot entirely, shall we?</div>
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While he's making a speech the team arrives and points guns at him. He threatens to blow them all up, but Emily notices that the detonator is actually clipped to his camera's lanyard on a tripod ten feet away, so she knows he can't do it!</div>
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Rather than simply saying this, however, and telling him to get to the ground because she knows he doesn't have the detonator, or even shooting him in the leg to keep him from moving for it, she tells him to go ahead and press the trigger, daring him to do it. This inspires him to run for the tripod nad gives them an excuse to shoot him to death.</div>
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THE END</div>
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Oh, and the two victims from the start are going to be fine. We only see the granddaughter because the production couldn't afford the daughter actress for more than a half-day, but we're told that she's out of surgery and will be better soon.</div>
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Emily wins a last-minute Prentiss Award for this line:</div>
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Yeah, um, Emily? Whether he was planning on blowing himself up before you got there or not is irrelevant, what matters is what he was going to do when the choice was 'blow himself up or go to jail forever'. He wasn't normally suicidal, but he was ready to blow himself up - he didn't fail to kill you all because he was scared to die or anything like that, he failed to kill you because he didn't have the detonator in his hand when you pointed guns at him. If he did, you'd all be dead. How are you all so bad at this?</div>
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It's weird that the show now has two different examples of using the term 'bluff' wrong. He was bluffing - but the bluff was that he had the detonator. They're acting like the bluff was that he was willing to press the detonator. So... they just don't know what words mean?</div>
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Back in DC, more stuff with Matt and his family! They're all sweet!</div>
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1 - Was profiling in any way helpful in solving the crime?</div>
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<br /></div>
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Nope.</div>
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2 - Could the crime have been solved just as easily using conventional police methods given the known facts of the case?</div>
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The killer continued targeting the family of his victims. This made him quite easy to catch.</div>
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So, on a scale of 1 (Dirty Harry) to 10 (Tony Hill), How Useful Was Profiling in Solving the Crime?</div>
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<br /></div>
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1/10 - So... nothing made sense this week, right?</div>
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Why the test explosion with the corpse? You knew that making a bigger bomb would have the effect you want - why risk getting caught just to prove that?</div>
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How did the killer find out who the people in that car were? He wasn't on the cruise, it was a rented car - I can't think of any way he could have discovered these people's identities.</div>
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How did the killer ambush the grandmother and then get her out to the house? As far as we know she walked to the police station parking lot, where she couldn't have been attacked, and drove straight to the hospital, where she couldn't have been attacked. How did any of this happen?</div>
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Also, why did he take her out to the house? It seems like the only reason to do that is so that the team would have some way of finding them and so the production wouldn't have to pay for a new location. Which are two pretty good reasons, actually.</div>
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Is Garcia terrible at her job now? The first victim had a daughter and the second victim had a sister who'd both been on the same international cruise a couple of weeks earlier and she didn't find that while looking into the victims. That's a pretty huge connection to miss.</div>
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Vardulonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17821844774999740966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9114808246459538090.post-64343308210952745332020-01-09T21:01:00.002-05:002020-01-10T04:04:06.875-05:00Criminal Minds 1502: Awakenings<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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The episode opens with a recap of the
Faceoff killer's situation, and JJ getting shot. Because, again,
she's terrible at every part of her job. And not a great person,
generally. Then it's off to the races, as Faceoff and FD speed away
from the crime scene, hijack a car, and flee into the aether! In a
hilarious bit of what should be time compressive editing – but
can't be, because all of the characters in the same places between
the two scenes – we see Garcia get word of the hijacking literally
seconds after it happens, as if it's been reported officially
already.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Meanwhile JJ is rushed to the hospital
and prepped for surgery! Reid is there! Has anyone called Jr.?</div>
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<br /></div>
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Let's find out together, after the
credits! Seriously, that's all that happened before the credits. Is
the whole week going to be about chasing down Faceoff? They can't
resolve this storyline yet, can they? What else would they do for the
rest of the year? Then again, if the first two episodes feature the
team losing over and over again, maybe they can build up some
momentum for the rest of the season!</div>
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At the office, we get a crazy scene of
Emily apologizing to Joe for not believing his hunch about the
Faceoff killer being responsible for the torso rippings. I don't know
why she should – he wasn't responsible for those. More importantly,
though, the real villain here is Joe – he was absolutely sure that
Faceoff was in town, killing people, and no one had the slightest
idea why he would come to Baltimore County, since that's far away
from his normal sphere of operation. Then suddenly he gets word that
FD is being flown to DC. No reasonable person working on the torso
killing would see a connection between those two things – but since
Joe believes that Faceoff is doing the killing, how could he not?</div>
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Here's the bigger issue, though –
Emily specifically ordered Joe to go and deal with FD. Instead, Joe
went to visit the torso ripper. If Joe had followed orders, he would
have been at the building when Faceoff arrived to see his daughter,
and would have instantly recognized him, because, again, the man
wasn't wearing a disguise of any kind.</div>
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<br /></div>
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What I'm saying is, Joe disobeying an
order got JJ shot, and now Emily is apologizing to HIM. What is this
world coming to?</div>
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We get a follow-up on the stolen car,
and – hilariously – we see a police report that doesn't have the
car's license plate number on it:</div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibjM5CrfYW5Ybh6F9MPaLXr8K4offvav5O9t2VHW6FrE-_0AAKF0h04v3dj7VBcwc-4cWcYdD05frsbnyrNzcBIwhkiFeU5cD0CyBy9ivdJZKa6_2WbUJwZ-mld_awohWPO5dHP2oHIzjr/s1600/crim1502.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="404" data-original-width="720" height="179" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibjM5CrfYW5Ybh6F9MPaLXr8K4offvav5O9t2VHW6FrE-_0AAKF0h04v3dj7VBcwc-4cWcYdD05frsbnyrNzcBIwhkiFeU5cD0CyBy9ivdJZKa6_2WbUJwZ-mld_awohWPO5dHP2oHIzjr/s320/crim1502.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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I know it was found soon after, but why
would you not ask the person what their car's license plate number
was? I'm sure there's more than one Silver 2011 Subaru Forrester on the
road.</div>
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Remember my theory about every single
person who works on the show phoning it in? Let's just say there
haven't been a ton of license plates around lately...</div>
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They decide to look for other stolen
vehicles in the area, which seems like a stretch – they all agree
that Faceoff has been planning this escape for months, doesn't it
seem likely that he would have a clean car waiting for him? They
assume he has a safehouse, I feel like a car is at least as important
a thing to grab. Also, is this really the best use of their times?
There's hundreds of cops out there searching for Faceoff, what are
two more guys in an SUV going to accomplish?</div>
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Jr. gets to the hospital, and Reid is
forced to consider what a terrible person he is!</div>
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Faceoff and FD park their car in the
brush at the side of a rural road, and he announces that they should
split up. She's not psyched about this, and points out that it's only
because she pulled the whole 'fake hostage' thing that he was able to
get away. Which is a good point, but not actually accurate – that
was supposed to be the plan, but instead of fleeing, Faceoff hid in
the barn and shot at the agents, ruining his chance to escape. It's
only because the team is completely terrible at their jobs and didn't
being backup that he was able to escape.</div>
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Still, she wants to stay together,
because she's missed having a father all these years! And then months
behind bars. Also, she has a plan for how they can stay together.
This should be good.</div>
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That night Eric and Aisha find the car,
which was, in fact, stolen! So presumably that car has a GPS unit in
it, or how else could they have possibly tracked it down? Weird, so
if Faceoff had just bought a thousand dollar car and stashed it in an
alley, they would have never been caught? Kind of a big thing to miss
when planning, dude.</div>
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Garcia searches for every rental
property within a couple of miles of the stashed car – because, of
course, every person who rents a house in America gets immediately
listed on a national database – and finds one rented using the dead
lawyer's ID! They assume this can't possibly be the safehouse they're
currently using, since that identity has been burned, but they keep
searching in the area, assuming that he'd have another hideout
nearby.</div>
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<br /></div>
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I don't know why they're staying in
Maryland at all. They got away relatively clean. From Washington DC
you can be in Canada in six hours. Seven if you obey the speed limit.
He sprung his daughter at like 10AM, and it's night now – why are
they still in the country?</div>
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<br /></div>
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FD goes to a random house, knocks on
the door, and shoots the two middle-aged people who answer it.
Wait... this is the plan? Just kill random people and hide out in
their house or steal their car? Wait... so the place rented by the
lawyer was the safehouse Faceoff and his daughter were talking about?
None of this tracks.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Anyhoo, FD points out that the dead
woman of the couple is Faceoff's type, so maybe he wants to cut her
face off for his new collection? She even gives him a knife!</div>
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<br /></div>
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Wow, Reid is just the worst. He's in
the hospital waiting area when the nurse comes out to say that JJ is
stable, and instead of getting Jr., who's on the phone with their
kids, so he can immediately tell them that their mother might be
getting better, he asks if he can be the first one to talk to her!
You're trash, Reid.</div>
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<br /></div>
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We get a scene of him crying over JJ,
regretting that he didn't tell her how he felt when he could! Way to
make this all about you, Reid.</div>
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<br /></div>
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At the latest crime scene, we get some
details about Faceoff's plan – it seems that there was 75K and an
elaborate disguise kit at the safehouse, so he was definitely
planning to go there at some point. The team thinks that Joe 'ruined
his escape plan' somehow. But Joe accomplished nothing. Faceoff's
plan was always to go into the lockup as a fake lawyer and shoot his
way back out. The moment he did that, the lawyer persona was always
going to be burned – so why would he have a safehouse connected to
that identity?</div>
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<br /></div>
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To reiterate, Joe accomplished nothing
except to get a bunch of people killed by disobeying orders, and the show is treating him
like a hero for it.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Also, what exactly is FD's plan so they
can stay together? Shoot people and steal their wallets? That's not
going to get them very far. Did they even steal the couple's car?</div>
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<br /></div>
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The team tries to figure out why
Faceoff stole the lady's face – what, exactly, is his relationship
with FD like? So they go to talk to Sharon, finally! Weird that Joe
didn't do this yesterday while everyone else was looking for stolen
cars – it could have been a useful source of information while
Faceoff and his daughter were 'in the wind'.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Sharon refers to the previous two
people she met with as 'muscles and brown eyes' and I'm absolutely
baffled. Both Matt and Eric are muscular and have brown eyes. Is this
a subtle joke by the producers about how redundant the addition to
Matt to the show was? Because that's 100% accurate, but also a weird
thing for them to be pointing out.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Sharon's not psyched to hear that FD is
killing people. She says she was a good grandmother, and it's not her
fault that FD is a monster!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
At this hospital, Jr. is psyched to
find that JJ is awake, so he grabs Reid, who she's asked to speak to!
Then he runs off to grab their sons so that they can see their
mother! Who are they staying with, since Jr. spent the night at the
hospital? Maybe the nanny spend the night there?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
We get a scene with JJ and Reid where
they finally talk about their relationship! She lets him down as
easily as possible! Then Jr. and the kids come into the room, so I
guess they stayed over at the hospital?
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Emily then arrives – she wants
confirmation that FD is the one who shot JJ, since that would mean
she's as dangerous as her father! Um... the first time this woman got
near an FBI agent she tried to stab him to death. How is her level of
threat not completely established at this point?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Reid then gets a call from the care
facility his mother is in – she's taken a turn for the worse! Are
we going to get a tearful goodbye scene with Jane Lynch?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
At the assisted living facility, a
nurse tries to tell Reid that he needs some information before going
to see his mother, but he announces that there's nothing that can
surprise him at this point and just charges in. Oh, Reid, there's
nothing you won't be arrogant about, is there?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
It turns out Jane is fine! Like, better
than she's ever been fine. Her meds have suddenly worked, so she's
going to have a couple of days or weeks of lucidity before plummeting
into dementia. Reid thinks this just means he's going to have to
'lose her all over again', which is true, but Jane thinks it's great
because they can spend some time together before she goes! His father
goes completely unmentioned, as usual.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
So, is Jane aware enough of the
world that she's going to be able to apologize to Reid for what she
did to him? Or no?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
We get some background on FD – Sharon
sent her to a fancy boarding school by lying about her history! Then
she was kicked out when they found out the truth, and then she went
looking for her father! How did she find him? She hadn't seen him in
years, and he's a con man who's constantly switching identities. How
was he this easy to track down?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
The operating theory is that she might
try to rob one of the rich people she went to school with. Which
isn't a bad observation, really!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
As predicted, FD goes to see one of her
old classmates to beg for money! It turns out that the roommate was
also her girlfriend! She invites her back to the place she's staying
it, and the girlfriend accepts! The team is on to the relationship,
though – will they simply call the girlfriend's phone to warn her?
Of course not!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Next we see the killers cutting off the
friend's thumbprint so that FD can go into a bank pretending to be
her and steal a significant amount of money! I'd have to imagine this
plan will be foiled by the team knowing who all these people are, but
let's see just how it happens!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
We get more with Reid and Jane. They
actually talk about her husband! She's amazingly dishonest about
their relationship in an attempt to get Reid to stop pining over JJ
and get on with his life! Is this a knowing thing by the writers, or
do they honestly not know that Jane was a monster up until this
moment?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
The team digs into the grilfriend's
finances, and discover that, like all scummy rich people, she has a
safe deposit box full of cash hidden away in case the government ever
decides to start taxing them at a reasonable rate! Since no money has
been taken from any of her accounts, they send the team over to the
bank where the safe deposit box is located! But they're too late!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Back with Reid and Jane, he wants to
live in denial and hope she gets better, and she wants him to face
facts and start the healing process. Wow... the show is SO CLOSE to
having her just confront him with the fact that she abused him for
his whole life, and it's ruined him as a person – will she get
there, since being told that by his mother is the shock to the system
he'd need to start down the road to recovery? She would have to be a
very brave person to take that step – especially because it might
mean he would abandon her to her disease!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Okay, things just got nuts – it turns
out that the couple they killed in the woods wasn't a set of random
victims, but rather a rich couple who funded a scholarship that FD
had won while she was at prep school! Wait... people she had a clear
financial link to just happened to live within walking distance of
where her father randomly ditched a car? And she knew that? And knew
that they had an apartment in DC that they used to hold the
girlfriend? No. Not one word of this makes the slightest bit of
sense. None.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
The team gets to the apartment and
finds a dead woman lying on the floor! But it's not the girlfriend,
she's tied up in the next room. So who is the dead woman? I guess
it's FD? That's what the next scene suggests anyhow, with Faceoff
driving away, listening to a terrible cover of The Passenger, a
severed face and picture of his daughter on the passenger seat. Why
would he kill his daughter but leave the hostage alive? Dude's making
weird choices all over the place.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
It's not like this can be a misdirect,
and they somehow found a third woman of the same build to kill,
because FD's fingerprints are on record, so I'm just baffled about
Faceoff's choices.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Joe and Emily try to explain the
situation – they believe that he broke her out of jail because she
was a liability, and he always planned on killing her! Except he
tried to split up earlier. And he was zero threat to him, because she
had no idea where he was or what he was doing. Zero parts of this
make sense.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Joe confronts Sharon with the fact that
Faceoff murdered FD, and she takes the news badly. She agrees to help
them catch Faceoff as a way to get revenge for the death of her
granddaughter!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Are they seriously continuing this
story next week? Wow. I initially failed to see how they were going
to get two episodes about this character, and now they're doing four?
Criminal Minds? You're a mess.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Back to the hospital, where JJ is
cradling her real-life son, who hopefully isn't too traumatized
seeing his mother in a fake hospital bed. Mostly he just stares at
the lighting rig. Good for him. Penelope drops by with balloons! She
takes the kids to get ice cream, giving us time for just JJ and Jr.!
As I hoped, her almost dying has made her focus on what a good thing
she has, and stop being such a selfish jerk! Let's see if the
self-awareness lasts, or if it's a fleeting thing!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
More with Reid and Jane – he can't
get over self-identifying as someone who pines over JJ and looks out
for his mother. Jane says the he needs to finally grow up and live
his own life! Which would be easier for him to do if you were just
honest about what a monster you were and how thoroughly you crippled
his emotional development. But the show wants us to feel good about
her during what's presumably her last appearance on the show.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
THE END</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
1 - Was profiling in any way helpful in
solving the crime?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
The didn't solve it, so no.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
2 - Could the crime have been solved
just as easily using conventional police methods given the known
facts of the case?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
They had FD in custody for six months,
and in that time they did zero research into her as a person. They
should have known about the girlfriend and been able to intercept her
the minute she went looking for her old flame.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
So, on a scale of 1 (Dirty Harry) to 10
(Tony Hill), How Useful Was Profiling in Solving the Crime?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
0/10 – Still no resolution on this
story! Will it be wrapped up next week, or are they going to be
obsessed with this guy for still more episodes?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Seriously, though, FD can't still be
alive. They cannot pull that twist. I'm sure they won't, because it's
incredibly stupid, but then again, this is a terribly written show,
but at this point, can I put anything past them?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
As usual, nothing made sense this week.
Faceoff left his money where it would definitely be found, he didn't
have a car to escape in, FD's targets lived half a mile from a
completely random place her father parked, no one bothered to check
into the victims' resources to see if their killers might have been
hiding out nearby, and, strangest of all, in Joe's supposed 6-month journey of being obsessed with Faceoff, he apparently spent zero time learning anything about FD, otherwise he should have known all about her connections to people in DC already.<br />
<br />
Really, everything that happened this episode made
the least amount of sense possible.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
It's no improvement on last episode, is
what I'm saying.</div>
</div>
Vardulonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17821844774999740966noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9114808246459538090.post-54028706785964629332020-01-09T03:43:00.002-05:002020-01-09T14:19:09.316-05:00Criminal Minds 1501: Under The Skin<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Well, here we are! We've got just ten
episodes of Criminal Minds left! Fifteen years, 324 episodes, and
it's all coming down to this! Will the show try to get JJ and Reid
together? Will they kill of Jr. to do it? Will... other things
happen? Honestly, I'm not emotionally invested in any other part of
the show. I mean, it would be great if Aaron would drop by for one
more episode, but I have no expectation that's going to happen, so
I'm focusing on the more likely plot threads to get wrapped up.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
What do you want to bet they never grab
Appalachian Trail child molester or skull hand child murderer? Those
are the ones that got away, and only one of them was ever mentioned
again!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
So, yeah, the episode. Let's get to it.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Things open up with a flashback to the
faceoff killer who almost murdered Joe that one time. I maintain that
he's not an interesting enough character to build the show's final
arc around – and the fact that the actor played the same recurring
serial killer role on Castle just leads to distraction. Am I saying
that they should have announced that Ian Doyle or the Reaper was
secretly still alive and gone with that instead?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Yes. That's exactly what I'm saying.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
After the recap we find a guy driving
up to a mansion that's suspiciously dark. The guy finds it weird as
well, and calls someone on his phone. A man answers and confirms that
yes, he really is inside, and encourages the guy to enter the house
and grab some wine while he waits for the man to get out of the
shower.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
The guy enters the house and finds the
promised wine waiting for him. It's a red! The room is fully of
creepy art suggesting hanging, stabbing, and someone walking on a
tightrope. Has this guy walked into a deathtrap?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Yes, he absolutely has. He flips
through a photography portfolio left on the piano, and it quickly
moves from BDSM photography to pictures of mutilated corpses. Corpses
mutilated in the very room he's standing in! The guy tries to flee,
but naturally, he's been drugged, and collapses to the ground!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
So, we've got another art-themed
killer, like the photography tableau guy from the comedy episode that
Eric directed back in season 13! Neat?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Over at Matt's house there's a baby
shower going on! As you may remember, we found out his wife was
pregnant in the season ender, and it's been seven months since then,
so now she's ready to pop! Eric and Garcia are there, along with
extras who smile politely. One of them looks a lot like Elizabeth
Moss!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Then it's over to Aisha and Reid, who
are chatting about gifts! I'm immediately concerned about Aisha,
because her voice is really ragged. Hopefully she just had a cold
that day and it's nothing serious. Matt Also looks quite strange –
he's got 5 O'Clock shadow that stands out really oddly from his
too-pink face makeup. Did their regular makeup person or
cinematographer get another job since this last season was only going
to be 10 episodes?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Anyhoo, he gets a text about his mother
degrading even further, which makes him wistful about his desire to
go back in time and 'do things differently', which is a comment about
his love for JJ, but I'd like it to be a realization that he should
have escaped his mother's madness.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Then we see Emily and JJ, and find out
that Emily is still dating that FBI agent from DC! Also, Jr. is
mentioned as existing!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Emily calls Joe to find out where he is
– and it turns out he's still looking for faceoff! She's concerned
that his obsession with catching the guy is harming his work and
life. I'm concerned that they're having this much trouble catching
the guy. Like, you know what he looks like, and you can have his face
all over the internet at all times. Unless this guy is hiding in the
woods somewhere, how is he still on the loose?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
And don't give me the 'he's a master of
disguise' thing – they can put beards on photos.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Actually, maybe he is hiding in a shack
in the woods? Joe is currently meeting a small-town sheriff in the
middle of nowhere! Apparently everyone is calling Faceoff 'the
Chameleon', everyone except for me, that is.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
She shows him to the latest crime scene
– it's the victim from the start of the episode! Lying dead on the
ground with all of the skin cut off of the front of his torso, just
like in the photographs! Wait, why is Joe here? Faceoff murders
middle-aged women and cuts their faces off as a way to attack his
mother, Sharon Lawrence. How could this be connected?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Oh, okay, the point is that it's not
connected, Joe is just reaching because he's so desperate to catch
the guy. He's convinced himself that Faceoff has started skinning men
because, now that he's on the run, he's 'uncomfortable in his own
skin'. This whole speech is so idiotic that it would win a Prentiss
Award, but for once the stupidity is intentional – the show is
making the point that he's confidently spewing nonsense because he's
desperate to find a way to make sense of the world.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
Good work, show! If only this made
up for all of the times they exclaim nonsense without realizing
that's what they're doing! So, how long until Joe is humiliated by
just how wrong he's got this? Let's find out after the opening
credits!</div>
<a name='more'></a><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
We're back with Joe in his office, and
wow, how have they not already caught this guy?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHHZRsqqJ64S86BqNEpY94j83DGni6auSVQeAw65-cB_KgCZW21XbUjKnTzz-P-8ckcv-RlroC-h7BJvn_3nFjI2euqrq3MJ0eS12nfTa4Koz98miO20I5drfPqgwQw6HGGuBU7ob4kElH/s1600/CRIM1501+0.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="404" data-original-width="720" height="179" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHHZRsqqJ64S86BqNEpY94j83DGni6auSVQeAw65-cB_KgCZW21XbUjKnTzz-P-8ckcv-RlroC-h7BJvn_3nFjI2euqrq3MJ0eS12nfTa4Koz98miO20I5drfPqgwQw6HGGuBU7ob4kElH/s320/CRIM1501+0.png" width="320" /></a></div>
They've already got pictures of him in
all of his standard disguises. Unless this guy had 'black like me'
surgery, he should already be in jail. Mr. Scratch had to flee all
the way to Central America to keep from getting caught – how is
Faceoff managing it?<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
We cut to Joe and Faceoff's Daughter
(FD from here on out), as he tries to convince her that her father
isn't worth protecting. It's the conversation they had when she'd
been in lockup for just two days, and Joe plays it quite badly. He
doesn't even point out that she'll do years in jail for attempting to
murder an FBI Agent unless she helps them catch Faceoff. He also
doesn't point out that their plan last season made zero sense.
Like... she could have just run off into the woods when they realized
the cops were coming, and she would have gotten away – the FBI had
no idea she existed. Instead, her dad tied her up to delay the FBI,
making it easier for him to escape. That's the betrayal you should be
harping on, Joe, not some amorphous 'left you behind' stuff.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Also, he tells her that she's going to
die in jail if she doesn't co-operate. Which seems like a stretch.
They have nothing connecting her to any of her dad's murders. She
tried to stab an FBI agent, sure, but that's literally all they have
on her, and a decent lawyer would point out that she was raised by a
serial killing monster and get her a out in a surprisingly short
amount of jailtime.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Emily comes to see Joe to yell at him
about using FBI resources to search for the torso-skinner, but before
she can really dig in Garcia arrives to announce that he was right!
It turns out the photo Joe was looking at was of the previous victim,
and they've just found the guy from the teaser! I was confused
because the men were almost completely identical – which is pretty
common for sexual psychopaths, actually.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Then we get a hilarious scene of the
team going over the profile and tearing apart Joe's theory that
Faceoff is responsible for the crime. They're nice about it, though!
There's only one truly dumb line in the whole scene, with which Matt
wins himself a Prentiss Award!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/2aIVt8YbG-0/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/2aIVt8YbG-0?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Wow... Matt... did you forget the part
where his daughter tried to stab and FBI agent to death, and Faceoff
shot at a bunch of FBI agents? He didn't not cut Joe's face off
because he was afraid of the FBI, he fled because he heard the team
coming. He ran out of time. Also, you should already have the full
force of the FBI chasing this guy down – he's an identified serial
killer on the loose. I mean, I know half the FBI being interviewed
about why they investigated Carter Page, but it feels like they could
take a few minutes out to catch this well-known murderer.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Then we see the torso-ripper checking
out a fake version of Grindr, looking for his next victim. Wait...
he's finding them on Grindr? Unless he owns the app, won't that make
him really, really easy to find? I'm sure he's using a fake photo and
contact information and all, but it's still very traceable.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Some awkwardness at the crime scene,
were JJ slips on some leaves and falls into Reid's arms! Then they
look over the crime scene, and I guess my earlier prediction that
they were just being kind to Joe was wrong, and they really are going
to investigate this murder like they think Faceoff was responsible
for it. They spend thirty seconds talking about how strange it is
that this is nothing like the rest of the guy's crimes, rather than
starting the conversation by simply saying 'so this is obviously not
Faceoff, right?' The only point of commonality between the two M.O.s
is the removal of skin, and you can't base any kind of a profile on
something that minor.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Finally they agree that this is
probably a different killer, and they have to start from scratch.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
We get a funny scene at the ME's office
as Matt and Eric go to talk to the new ME about what a terrible job
the previous guy did, while said coroner is still in the room.
Apparently the skin was removed so cleanly and expertly that it was
likely done with a scalpel! Could the killer be a doctor?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
At the office Garcia gets a fingerprint
match of the second victim! Apparently he was from Miami? The killer
flew him out for murder? So wow, maybe that really is the guy's
house? Also, wouldn't a 25-year-old guy have posted all over
instagram about being flown to Baltimore?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
The team is still humouring Joe's
delusion, so we waste more time talking about the psychology of
Faceoff and why he might be killing men. I'm confused about all of
these scenes – is the audience supposed to think that Faceoff is
the killer? How can we? We heard the killer's voice at the start of
the episode, and it's nothing like Faceoff's rather distinctive
cadence. Oh, it turns out the website isn't fake Grindr at all, but a
normal dating site – coincidentally the one Faceoff used to find
victims! The latest victim was on the site, so Garcia goes looking
for anyone who might have been in touch with him!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Speaking of being in touch, we see the
next victim at the killer's house, going through the whole 'drinking
poisoned wine' routine! I realize now that I'm being a little too
hard on the producers – the killer has such an incredibly affected
Frasier Crane-style accent that it's entirely possible that the
audience could believe that it was the Faceoff killer – especially
if they haven't watch that episode in eight months, which is the
likely experience of most fans of the show.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I still think it's crazy obvious, but
that might just be me, is my point.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
The guy falls over and the killer cuts
his skin off in a special room designed for that purpose, but I'd
like to point something out – the victim had a few moments of
pleasant conversation with the killer before getting killed, and he
didn't seem surprised – which suggests that the killer is using his
actual picture on the dating site. Weird.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Emily calls Joe into her office the
next day, announcing that FD and Sharon are being brought to DC so
that he can make a deal with them! Joe doesn't want to, because he
thinks he can catch Faceoff without their help, and Emily doesn't
have the heart to flat-out say that this new killer obviously isn't
Faceoff, so she just suggests he might be blinding himself to some
obvious facts. Emily's not a great boss, is what I'm getting at.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Oh, now I'm sad. The producers had no
idea that the show wasn't coming backuntil mid-season, so according
to this flight record:</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWUWKIPfSiAq4a78foBLci_O0dvZHaMoYfI7e5Rs7bMDFPdPSUHWgthnF0C9K2FpyJr962viv6gl60L9LlRTZR-VBiNHkwnNDtCmBKpKTkm97MNr4nAT5Cv6JdnTmLm1GmHGrSNGMKFKNQ/s1600/CRIM1501+A.png" imageanchor="1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: #0066cc; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; orphans: 2; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><img border="0" data-original-height="404" data-original-width="720" height="179" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWUWKIPfSiAq4a78foBLci_O0dvZHaMoYfI7e5Rs7bMDFPdPSUHWgthnF0C9K2FpyJr962viv6gl60L9LlRTZR-VBiNHkwnNDtCmBKpKTkm97MNr4nAT5Cv6JdnTmLm1GmHGrSNGMKFKNQ/s320/CRIM1501+A.png" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
-the episode is taking place in
September. Wait... that doesn't make sense... Matt's wife had just
found out she was pregnant in May, and she's almost ready to have the
kid – it's only been five months! Why does this show make no sense?<br />
<br />
Okay, my bad, I went and checked, and it turns out the season ender was set in February, rather than May like usual, so the timeline of this pregnancy makes perfect sense! I didn't realize the 15 episode season ended early rather than starting late. Still, it's too bad they didn't know they were coming back in January.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
The big takeaway is that the second
victim's flight was paid for using victim number 1's credit card.
This leads Aisha and Garcia to suggest that maybe the credit card
owner could be their first John Doe victim! Wait, why aren't you
sure? The first victim was found just hours after being dumped, and
his face was completely intact.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd9tEpc-_4SMczLKLf99tgSSNzTroH2ELqexd5kj2L2DriIjlf95DdoKptwGL5SLK1GJZEpaAVrKdniRsmh4mw8EWsHnZ4DSeuyb0wtp5Y5VZf8X_PqKJ4hKENTJ0y-AQ3kugz1auFSc2u/s1600/CRIM1501+B.png" imageanchor="1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: #0066cc; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; orphans: 2; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><img border="0" data-original-height="404" data-original-width="720" height="179" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd9tEpc-_4SMczLKLf99tgSSNzTroH2ELqexd5kj2L2DriIjlf95DdoKptwGL5SLK1GJZEpaAVrKdniRsmh4mw8EWsHnZ4DSeuyb0wtp5Y5VZf8X_PqKJ4hKENTJ0y-AQ3kugz1auFSc2u/s320/CRIM1501+B.png" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Shouldn't you immediately recognize
him? Did you not bother looking at the file on the first victim?Why
is everyone on this show terrible at their jobs?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Reid and JJ go out to see the latest
corpse, and I have to assume that this was shot like five minutes
after the previous scene - just long enough for them to go back to a
trailer and change their clothes. They waste more time talking about
how this probably isn't Faceoff! How are they still having
conversations about this?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
There is a pretty funny line about
how this doesn't feel like a killer who's evolving, it feels like a
killer who's figuring out what gets him off – as if that's not what
evolving is. God, writers. Stop it. You're basically becoming
parodies of yourselves at this point!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Then it's back to the morgue, where
they talk about the latest victim, and the blood test results of the
first two! It seems they were drugged with a rare sedative that's
super-hard to come by! Could the killer be involved in the medical
community? This, plus the scalpel, would seem to suggest that's a
dead cert! The inept coroner once again tries to throw cold water on
the theory, suggesting that there's a black market for everything,
and that the killer could have picked up the drugs anywhere. So... is
the coroner the killer? It seems like this guy is too bad at his job
for it to be realistic. Is he trying to cover up his crimes and doing
a terrible job at it, or is he really the worst coroner in the world?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
The fact that the coroner makes this
face:</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4OY2qbuLDzWTsrPYBa0cOaehaIz7VAlrJm1UeU78QVk6Fhf6wf62ZKugzZFlBkCXbFCsZs2EHlCZpEtEa_LZMnoETf-DBYjTqSjq4oAjL3rImBOSSlZ9rOILGuz2rlpnvlrSEgg5G6_BF/s1600/CRIM1501+C.png" imageanchor="1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: #0066cc; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; orphans: 2; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><img border="0" data-original-height="404" data-original-width="720" height="179" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4OY2qbuLDzWTsrPYBa0cOaehaIz7VAlrJm1UeU78QVk6Fhf6wf62ZKugzZFlBkCXbFCsZs2EHlCZpEtEa_LZMnoETf-DBYjTqSjq4oAjL3rImBOSSlZ9rOILGuz2rlpnvlrSEgg5G6_BF/s320/CRIM1501+C.png" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Suggests the former.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Oh, and in case you were wondering,
yes, it's Eric and Matt at the coroner's office again – they were
block shooting a ton of stuff this week, it seems!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
At the office the team finally has an
intervention with Joe to let him know that it's definitely not
Faceoff doing the killing. He doesn't take it well. Emily sends him
to talk to FD and Sharon while the rest of the team hunts the
coroner. I mean the killer. But maybe...? No, it can't be the
coroner. But that would be fun, wouldn't it?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Oh, and we learn that the guy finds men
on the dating app, but then contacts them through instant messaging
on cloned phones. Which means they should have his messages to the
guys. Also, what guy is going to go along with a random person
suddenly having their contact information to text them out of the
blue? Isn't 'I saw your picture on a dating site, but instead of
contacting you through it I used illegal methods to find your contact
information and am now texting you out of the blue' kind of a huge
red flag?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Then it's over to the killer, who, Ed
Gein-style, has made a fake torso for himself to replace his horribly
scarred midsection! So he's just all kinds of crazy, isn't he?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
We cut to the Coroner and the ME
arriving at the ME's house, and it turns out he's the killer! Twist!
So why was the coroner looking so guilty?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Back to Joe's office, where he spends
more time fixating on that time he almost got killed! Reid comes in
to chat about his obsession and the new case! We learn nothing, so
let's move on!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Oh, and the killer drugs the coroner,
but doesn't kill him yet. He's taken to wearing the face torso,
though, so maybe he doesn't need a ton more victims?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Emily, once again, proves to be a
terrible boss! The next morning she goes to tell Joe that the ladies
are arriving that morning, and that he should talk to them, and when
he tries to tell her that he spent all night putting together a list
of doctors that fit their profile, she tells him she doesn't want to
hear it, and leaves.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
How are you still such a terrible boss,
Emily? It's been YEARS.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Gracia's got a new lead! Another
victim's flight was paid for by a credit card owned by one 'Arthur
Terrell', who isn't a doctor, but does live in the fancy house that
the killer is apparently squatting in! The team goes to interview
him, hoping to find a decent lead! Hilariously, they try to justify
their suspicion by saying that he might fit the profile, other than
not being a doctor. Except... your profile consists of two major
points- 1: He is a doctor. B: He probably has horrible torso scarring
that messed him up mentally. You know he doesn't fit 1, and you have
no idea if B is accurate. How could this guy possibly fit the
profile? Other than being a white guy he has nothing in common with
the killer.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
In the basement of the house, the
killer has the coroner tied to a table. What is he planning, exactly?
More surgery, even though his vest is complete? Oh, it seems he's
missing a stomach section, so that's what he maps out next!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Out front, the team has arrived to kick
in the doors, and for some reason the deputy we've been seeing all
episode is there? I'm not sure why, though – she's a Baltimore
County Sheriff's department deputy, and the house they're kicking
down the door of is in Fredrick County. She has no jurisdiction
there. Hopefully this won't cause any legal problems later!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
So... did they actually manage to get a
warrant this time? The guy's credit card being used is actually a
pretty good lead – probably not a 'kick down the door' lead, but
still, it's unusual for them to make this solid a connection before
breaking into somewhere!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
But no, it's a Silence of the Lambs
fakeout! Because of course it is, since the killer is just Ed Gein/Buffalo Bill! While the team was busting into the mansion, Joe was going
to check on his list of murderous doctors! On his own. Because he's
an idiot.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
They chat about the killer's
psychopathology, and Joe clearly implies that he knows the ME is the
killer, which makes me wonder, again, why he came here alone. I guess
to regain his manhood after his close call with Faceoff?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Oh, and at the mansion they find that
the killer had a picture of himself in his murder art book, so yeah,
he was not good at not getting caught.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
So... wait... this guy lures men to the
mansion, drugs them, kills them, drags them back to his house for
surgical skin removal, then drives their bodies out into the woods?
Why not just do the surgery at the mansion?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Wait, he had to be doing the surgery at
the mansion – there was a photo of a flayed guy there! Did he go
back to his own house just so the scene with Joe could happen? God,
this show is terrible.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Okay, this just got nuts. The killer
was, actually, working with Faceoff! It turns out that the killer
almost married Sharon years earlier, and he came to see the doctor
for help springing his daughter from prison. The plan? Kill a lawyer
so that Faceoff could steal his identity, and then the killer would
use his mansion to indulge in his own fetishes!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Here's how Faceoff looks when he comes
to get his daughter:</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSxUhu_kupBcqbbbTvcWeZR0If3UINnuEeH655s6fWLq773Yoraa6Ez4TjU-ktaCecMz_r6snjoUAY6jzykwQaRRN-z8s8mkAzhWcBKKKU17NXIkhnE9eGb9gEbclNQ70Mye19uCIadM_K/s1600/CRIM1501+D.png" imageanchor="1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: #0066cc; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; orphans: 2; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><img border="0" data-original-height="404" data-original-width="720" height="179" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSxUhu_kupBcqbbbTvcWeZR0If3UINnuEeH655s6fWLq773Yoraa6Ez4TjU-ktaCecMz_r6snjoUAY6jzykwQaRRN-z8s8mkAzhWcBKKKU17NXIkhnE9eGb9gEbclNQ70Mye19uCIadM_K/s320/CRIM1501+D.png" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
That's right, he's not wearing a
disguise of any kind. The most wanted man in America just walked into
the prison where his daughter was being held, and no one noticed that
it was him.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
This is the dumbest show on Earth.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Faceoff then stabs a marshal and gets
her gun from the locker right outside the interview room he was
waiting in. Because that's a logical place to have a gun lockup.
Where the prisoners are. Also it makes sense for the person whose gun
it is to have the key. Because hey, it's not like the prisoner could
just club the person and take the key, and then they'd have the gun,
right?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Wait, that's exactly what happens.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
This is like having a visitor's gun
locker inside of a prison rather than outside. Wait, no, this isn't
like that, this is that. It's also inconceivably stupid.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Well, not as stupid as the line Reid
gets, about how Faceoff could get into the building if he was
sufficiently well disguised, which he says right before we get
another look at Faceoff profoundly not being disguised at all.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
People in the building hear Faceoff
shooting a bunch of people, and instead of locking the building down,
the believe the voice on the radio telling them which way he says
he's running. Despite being ordered to lock down the building the
security staff doesn't – and it turns out the building's basement
parking garage has access tunnels that lead to a bunch of other
parking garages in the area, which would allow them to escape easily!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
So yes, you heard that right –
you can go into the headquarters of the justtice department and –
without going through any kind of a security checkpoint – get into
another building's parking garage, straight from the holding cells.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Wow... this is terrible.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
JJ catches Faceoff and FD in the next
door garage, and proves herself to be the most tactically incompetent
law enforcement officer in the history of fiction! She has Faceoff
kicks his gun over to her, and FD toss her backpack aside, but then,
instead of telling them to lie down or waiting for backup to arrive,
she bends down to pick up the gun that's sitting at her feet. A gun
that is completely out of play.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
This gives FD the chance to pull a gun
out of her pocket and shoot JJ a bunch of times!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Yeah, JJ? You deserve to die if you're
going to be this bad at your job.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Faceoff and FD flee in a van while JJ
bleeds in the parking lot! Will he survive the injury? We'll find out
in the next episode!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
THE END</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
1 - Was profiling in any way helpful in
solving the crime?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Not in the least!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
2 - Could the crime have been solved
just as easily using conventional police methods given the known
facts of the case?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
They checked flight records and found a
photograph that the killer took of himself!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
So, on a scale of 1 (Dirty Harry) to 10
(Tony Hill), How Useful Was Profiling in Solving the Crime?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
1/10 – So... this was a terrible
start to the season, huh? Mostly because the vindication of Joe makes
literally no sense. There's literally no reason on earth for anyone
to suspect that a guy slicing up the torsos of gay men has anything
whatsoever to do with the Faceoff killer, but in the end, it does!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
That has to be the single
least-plausible prison escape I've ever seen in fiction. The killer
they were looking for literally walked in the door asking to see his
daughter, and they let him. I don't care that his hair was floppy
now, how are they so bad at this?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
This does not bode well for the next
nine episodes.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Hey, was the incompetent coroner okay?
Like, I think he was still alive, but we'd been told that the guy
harvests skin from people after he kills them, so maybe he's not?
Weird that plot thread went unresolved, huh?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I still have no idea how the killer
wasn't caught immediately – all of these guys, not one of them
mentioned where they were going to someone? The teaser victim
literally made a phone call standing outside the killer's house. He's
got a modern phone, so there's probably a GPS record of where he was
standing five minutes before he was murdered. How did Garcia not find
this guy the moment the victim was identified?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
So, are they actually going to kill off
JJ? Or is her near-death experience going to make her realize what a
fool she's been to fantasize about a messed-up psycho like Reid when
she has a perfect man at home?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I'd be happy with either result.</div>
</div>
Vardulonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17821844774999740966noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9114808246459538090.post-20010126471055953772020-01-07T04:11:00.002-05:002020-01-09T04:07:31.411-05:00Criminal Minds 1415: Truth or Dare<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">A red truck drives up to a small Mexican fast food place, and the driver heads inside. Watching him is a bedraggled man in a black plaid shirt. I mention this only because I've never understood black plaid. Using black as a colour in plaid? Sure, go nuts - but a shirt that's just black and grey? You're being extravagantly emo at that point.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="color: white;"></span><span style="background-color: black;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">The waitress notices that Black Plaid hasn't eaten any of his food, so presumably she'll be able to identify him later on. Unless he shoots the place up, or something. Happily, he doesn't, instead waiting for Red Truck Guy to leave and then following out into the street!</span></div>
<div style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="color: white;"></span><span style="background-color: black;"></span><br /></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Over at Quantico, Eric and Reid walk into the briefing room, with Eric busy chatting about Reid's amazing shooting skills! I've already pointed out how weird it is the way they're trying to butch up Reid which seems redundant, given that they've already got two hunks on the show, and the cast doesn't need to be any more generic than it is, but it's especially disquieting to see that the way they've chosen to make Reid more manly is to say 'he's better at killing now'. Um... do you not see the bad psychological path that takes you down, show about the psychology of serial killers?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">It turns out that they haven't had a case in a couple of days, so they're just hanging out and playing cards! Um... isn't there something more important they could be doing? Writing up psychological profiles of nonserial killers for police departments across the country? Giving lectures? Nope, they're going to get paid to play cards, because they're all a little on the terrible side. Just a little, though.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Once again it's pointed out that Reid has been banned from Vegas casinos, and he gives a little spiel about math being the basis of all card games - which is true, but not relevant to the situation. Everyone knows that card games are just math, knowing that didn't get you kicked out of casinos. Your memory did, because you were counting cards at 21. If the team was going to be playing blackjack or chemin de fer, then you would have an advantage, but this is draw poker, where it's just luck and bluffing - no math skills are needed. Math only comes up in games like hold 'em, and even then, everyone knows the math, so it doesn't give anyone an advantage.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Back in crimetown, Black Plaid T-bones the red truck and then gets out and shoots the driver a few times! Also, he doesn't seem psyched to be doing it. Is someone forcing him to commit the crime? It's not like it's personal - the show is good enough to give us a shot of the driver seeing Black Plaid and not recognizing him before getting shot.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">At the poker game, JJ wins, despite the fact that Reid says she has a tell proving that it's a bluff! This leads JJ winning one more Prentiss Award before the season ends-</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">No, JJ, this has nothing to do with lying. You weren't bluffing. You actually did have an unbeatable hand. There was nothing dishonest about anything you did.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">How are you this bad at such basic concepts?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Time for the case! Two people have been crashed into and shot in the past two days! Obviously it's a serial killer! Emily humiliates herself by referring to police's initial belief that it was a 'road rage incident gone wrong'. Um... road rage is something that - by definition - has gone wrong. It cannot go right. What you mean is that it was road rage that escalated to murder.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">They spend some time wondering if it's a guy who's aroused by car accidents, but we already know that it's someone who's being forced to murder people, so let's skip all of that and check in with Joe, who's checking out the wedding venue with Crystal! This seems like a weird time to do it, since the wedding is in two days, but the whole thing has been pretty last-minute, so why not?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Then Joe gets a call and has to go with the rest of the team to LA for the case - so he's gotten out of dealing with caterers and florists. Great work, Joe! He promises to be back before the wedding, though.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">More with Black Plaid - this is a long teaser, huh? He goes to steal a third car, which is modern enough that it has an alarm that goes off when he breaks the window. He's not great at this, huh? The owner rushes out to see what's happening with the alarm, and Black Plaid demands the keys at gunpoint!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">So yeah, he's being forced into this. Which makes this episode a remake of Death By A Thousand Cuts, the final episode of Suspect Behaviour! So, which member of the team is going to get kidnapped to force another member of the team to shoot someone? Joe, since it's his wedding in two days? One of the women, because that's just how this show is?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Let's find out after the credits?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">On the plane, the team goes over the bios of the victims. Could they be connected? One is a public defender, the other a construction worker. Garcia goes hunting for digital links, and the team tries to figure him out based on the MO. Crashing cars into people and then shooting them while they're incapacitated seems especially cruel - could this be about personal revenge? That seems like a bit of a leap - you deal with people who commit far more monstrous murders that have no connection to the victims whatsoever.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">The far more interesting part of the MO is that the killer makes zero attempts to hide his identity, and leaves fingerprints all over the cars he steals. This means that the killer has no interest in getting away with the crimes for long - strange that wouldn't come up in their preliminary profile...</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">At the police station, the cop says it's nice to see the team again, but it's not anyone I recognize. Maybe he was the cop for the vigilante episode back in season 10? The waitress and the guy whose car was stolen have both come forward, so there should be a solid sketch of the guy fairly quickly!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Eric and Joe talk with a witness to the latest shooting, and discover that Black Plaid hesitated before shooting the victim. So they've got that to add to their deliberations. At the library, where the car was stolen, the librarian backs up the assessment of the guy as jittery - he also says that the guy was wandering around in the stacks before heading out to steal the car. I'd assumed he was just stealing the car, but I guess the killer left instructions about the next victim in the library or something like that?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Matt and Aisha wonder why the guy thought it was important enough to go into the library when he was risking exposing himself. Except, you know, he wasn't, really - there's still no APB out with his description, and I guess he knows that his fingerprints aren't on file, so what's he got to be afraid of? It was dumb grabbing the car from outside a building that was open, though, seems like he could have found one in a parking lot or something.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">We see Black Plaid in his car, looking over a piece of paper - presumably the orders - he hears a police siren and grabs his gun, but they drive past, so he doesn't have to get in a gunfight.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">At the police station, the team discusses how their profile is being shaken up by Black Plaid's weird behaviour, and then Garcia calls with some juicy info - the first victim called the second a week ago! And because this show is always just a little off, the phone records show the call being billed to her data plan, rather than her minutes:</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKr4Sp2cL4NfimTQLULAMa-oB8SFOlSmwfOhD3TwnA61wELHRoAAVAfiRzA-8MYrVCrdfcu96zTM_zqRoehSoAo03j4sS9JLTrPME1WGLgpeL9LAsI0fPA0SN4mG3fUNf3m_ZAejDkpr5U/s1600/Crim1415A.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="background-color: black; color: white;"><img border="0" data-original-height="418" data-original-width="720" height="185" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKr4Sp2cL4NfimTQLULAMa-oB8SFOlSmwfOhD3TwnA61wELHRoAAVAfiRzA-8MYrVCrdfcu96zTM_zqRoehSoAo03j4sS9JLTrPME1WGLgpeL9LAsI0fPA0SN4mG3fUNf3m_ZAejDkpr5U/s320/Crim1415A.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Was it a Skype call? Anyhoo, they apparently didn't talk long, and have no other known contacts, but Garcia's going to keep searching! Then the local detective comes in and announces that there's a new lead! They've found the car, and are going to rush over there to stop the next murder!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">At the scene of the upcoming murder, we get a look at the note, and it's not a picture of the person the way I thought it would be.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBFeRQ5Z3xccwy7__xF5jL5WFX6QPcRSTivvKNJkKTlea8DPt27Q3HFoLk_xGfDEkqPsV9M-UwAlWyzXD39lH5OKcJIyN49tBea3OEKTthcf0Z0Wszb4V8v5Gj00QTGbpWM_aav0Wt05RH/s1600/Crim1415B.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="background-color: black; color: white;"><img border="0" data-original-height="418" data-original-width="720" height="185" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBFeRQ5Z3xccwy7__xF5jL5WFX6QPcRSTivvKNJkKTlea8DPt27Q3HFoLk_xGfDEkqPsV9M-UwAlWyzXD39lH5OKcJIyN49tBea3OEKTthcf0Z0Wszb4V8v5Gj00QTGbpWM_aav0Wt05RH/s320/Crim1415B.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">That's just an address and the description of a car. Couldn't you have just told him that over the phone? I mean, presumably the killer called Black Plaid to tell him to go to the library, right? I figured that was because he needed to give him a picture of the person he needed to kill. Although, in this day and age, you can just send pictures from one untraceable cell phone to the next, so why wasn't he doing that? I'm baffled by this whole library interlude, is my point.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Black Plaid then looks at a picture of a lady - presumably the person who has been kidnapped to ensure that he commits these crimes - and startled from his reverie by the arrival of the fuzz!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">They point guns at him, and he explains that his wife is at a given address, and that she'll be killed if he doesn't shoot the third person on his list! Then he reaches for the picture of his wife and the cops shoot him to death! Weird choice, dude - I mean, I know you're frantic right now, but how is agitating cops going to achieve anything?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">At Black Plaid's house, they find the wife dead - but quite recently! Wait, how did the killer know to shoot her? He can't have been watching Black Plaid, since he was on the other side of town. If Black Plaid had been livestreaming the killings, and he saw the cops drive up, that would be one thing, but this is just weird.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Also, valuable lesson time - if someone kidnaps your family to get you to do something, just go to the cops immediately. There's no reason to believe that you're going to get your family back, so just take your chances with the cops. Unless it's corrupt cops who've kidnapped your family. Then you're basically screwed, I guess. Sorry I couldn't be of more help.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Emily and Matt go over what they know, and figure that Black Plaid probably wasn't selected randomly - the killer probably had a bone to pick with him as well as the victims. Thankfully, it turns out there was a photo of the latest would-be victim along with the note, so that makes the library a little more justified. Although, again, you can text this info.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Weird of the killer to hold Black Plaid's wife in his house. So... at any point in the last two days Black Plaid could have just sent the cops to his house and this all would have turned out fine? Why wasn't she being held in an undisclosed location, and then the body turned up after Black Plaid was killed? Wouldn't that have given the killer way more leverage?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">While the team fills in the detective on what we already know, the killer grabs a waitress and throws her in the trunk of a car! She's not tied up at all, though, so the moment that the car stops at a light she can just open up the trunk and drive off - all trunks have an escape lever, you know.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">In a strange moment, the team talks about how they have to figure out what the three victims have in common with the killer and Black Plaid, but don't mention what the third victim told them. Maybe they'll interview him later on?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Okay, I was getting ahead of myself, that's the next scene. The guy was a witness in a hit-and-run case that happened out front of a bar where he worked. The killer was the public defender's client, and when he was sentenced to jail he threatened to kill everyone involved in the case. So... was the construction guy another witness? A jury member? Did she call him to give him a heads up about the killer escaping from or being released from prison? That can't be the case, though, can it? Because if she'd been concerned enough about the death threats of a client to call someone else about it, then she'd definitely have told the people in her life about it, and when she was gunned down in the street that would have been the first thing they would have mentioned, wouldn't it?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Anyhoo, the killer killed 4 people in the accident. The guy's story was that he had been playing truth or dare with someone to impress a woman, and the last dare was to play chicken with oncoming traffic. Weirdly he tried to claim it was an 'accident', which is just crazy. I mean, yes, you didn't mean to hit them, but you did drive your car straight at them hoping to get them to swerve. That's not an accident by any stretch of the imagination. No wonder he was convicted.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">The team assumes that Black Plaid was the guy playing truth or dare with the killer, and the killer was mad because he didn't come forward to back up the killer's story. Which is a little weird, because what would that have accomplished? Being dared to commit a crime isn't a defense against having committed that crime. Like... you did it. Having been dared to do it doesn't mitigate your responsibility at all, dude.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Should he be out of jail already? I know it wasn't an extreme crime, but four people are dead, and it's only been 8 years... that said, I have no idea how California sentencing works, so who knows?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Okay, I just looked up the federal sentencing table, and considering the fact that the guy has plenty of priors, and the offense was committed with a vehicle, he should have gotten 4-5 years per dead person. So unless California's sentencing guildlines are drastically different, he should not be out yet.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">According to the witness, the construction worker was, in fact, the jury foreman - JJ explains that jury records are sealed in California, which is why they didn't find the connection. Except there's no such thing as sealed records in the world of Criminal Minds, so that's a crazy thing to say. Also, this means that the lawyer called the jury foreman, which means she was worried about being murdered, which means she told a bunch of people, so they should have been on to the killer immediately. Like... that second.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">So who's next, the prosecutor or the judge?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">The judge, as we learn in the next scene! The killer calls her and sends a picture of her daughter tied up in the trunk of a car - so he can do that? What was the library about, then?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">JJ and Reid go looking for the judge, and we get some history - apparently she 'threw the book at him' because she felt he wasn't taking responsibility for his actions. Except he got out of jail after just 8 years. He killed 4 people. How is that 'throwing the book'?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">They're able to follow the judge's phone GPS to where her car is parked by a sidewalk. Apparently the killer has just jumped into it and put a gun to the judge's head! When he sees the cops, he demands she drive off, and she does! But they immediately get blocked in by a garbage truck and he drags her out so they can flee on foot!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Wow, so I guess a team member isn't getting kidnapped this week while the other has to kill someone to save their life! So it's not a complete rip-off, then.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Things get bonkers inside the pawn shop that the killer drags the judge into. He grabs a hostage and puts a gun to her head, but then when Reid and JJ run in, he points the gun at them instead. Um... now you're free to just shoot him in the head, team. What are you doing?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">The killer orders the judge to take his second gun and aim it at the team. And she... does? Um... just put the gun to the guy's head. Or shoot his hand. Or just push his hand into the air so the team can subdue him! He has no ability to hurt your daughter - he's in the room with you. Also, your daughter is probably like one block away. You think she's in the trunk of a car, and you just picked him up at a line of parked cars. Isn't she probably in one of those?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Anyhoo, Reid and JJ, being idiots, put their guns down instead of shooting the guy in the face. What's wrong with you people?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">The killer has the hostage lock up the building, and then announces that he wasn't to play a game!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">We cut to a couple of hours later - it's night, and the team is trying to figure out how to get into the building. Have they found the daughter yet? With all the cops around, I'd have to imagine someone banging on the trunk of a car wouldn't be missed for long.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Inside the store, it turns out it isn't hours later, because the judge is just then taping Reid's hands behind his back. So the producers just hoped they could cut to night during a commercial break and no one would notice? Oy, this show.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">The killer then chats to the judge - he claims that he was forced to kill those people, so he's not responsible! Um... how? Did the guy dare you to kill four people? No, he just dared you to play chicken, and you sucked at it? Damn, this guy is the worst.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">He gives the judge a gun and says to kill the hostage or her daughter dies, and no one mentions that he has no capability to kill the daughter. They're all locked in a small room, surrounded by cops, and the daughter isn't in there. This is a weak plan, killer.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">JJ tells the killer to leave the hostage out of the situation, since she wasn't involved in the case, which motivates the killer to toss the hostage aside angrily, which leads to a mirror getting broken next to Reid. I guess he'll use the glass to cut his taped hands and shoot the guy, perhaps with an ankle gun?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">The team goes looking for the daughter while the killer tries to get the judge to kill one of the team - for some reason, they still don't mention that he has no capability to kill the daughter - how are they not noticing this?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">The killer won't answer the phone from the police, so JJ tries to play into his madness by offering to play truth or dare with him! For some reason she thinks that will work, since he's played it before - but the last time he did, he went to jail for 8 years, and his modern crimes have nothing to do with truth or dare. So why would this work?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">It does work, of course, and the killer starts to menace JJ instead of the judge. Reid tries to build rapport by saying that he was also jailed for a crime he didn't commit. Which is a bit of a stretch, since the killer did, in fact, commit the crime he went to jail for.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">JJ immediately loses the game! The killer asks her if she's enjoyed shooting people, and she says no! He shoots in Reid's general direction to prove that he doesn't believe her, and he shouldn't! When she was PTSDing pretty hard back in season 10 she completely murdered the defenseless frostbite killer, and seemed really psyched to be doing it.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">You're a liar, JJ, in addition to being a murderer.</span></div>
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<span style="color: white;"></span><span style="background-color: black;"></span><br /></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">So she asks the killer what it will take for them all to leave alive, and he says he'll die before going back to prison!</span></div>
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<span style="color: white;"></span><span style="background-color: black;"></span><br /></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Then it's JJ's turn again, and she's asked to say something she's never told anyone! She hems and haws - getting the judge shot in the leg, thanks for that JJ - before finally admitting that she's in love with Reid, and always has been!</span></div>
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<span style="color: white;"></span><span style="background-color: black;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Oh, screw you, show.</span></div>
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<span style="color: white;"></span><span style="background-color: black;"></span><br /></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">I mean, I know I called this a couple of episodes ago, but screw you, Criminal Minds. Jr. is the second-best person to have ever been on the show, and it's absolutely despicable how you've treated him. This is just the icing on the awful cake.</span></div>
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<span style="color: white;"></span><span style="background-color: black;"></span><br /></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Honestly, at this point JJ and Reid are both so horrible that they deserve each other.</span></div>
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<span style="color: white;"></span><span style="background-color: black;"></span><br /></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Then Reid uses the ankle gun to shoot the Killer.</span></div>
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<span style="color: white;"></span><span style="background-color: black;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">THE END</span></div>
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<span style="color: white;"></span><span style="background-color: black;"></span><br /></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">The waitress is found in a trunk just up the street, and there's lots of awkward looks!</span></div>
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<span style="color: white;"></span><span style="background-color: black;"></span><br /></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Then it's over to DC, where Joe's daughter has turned up for one more episode! I guess her new show doesn't keep her so busy that she couldn't be on the show one more time! At the ceremony, we get lots of meaningful looks between JJ and Reid, and damn it, you two, Jr. is right over there! How is the show expecting us to be happy about this new marriage when love is dying right in front of our eyes? You're all the worst.</span></div>
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<span style="color: white;"></span><span style="background-color: black;"></span><br /></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Johnny Mathis is there, as the best man! Does he know Joe Mantegna or something?</span></div>
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<span style="color: white;"></span><span style="background-color: black;"></span><br /></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">In other news, Matt and his wife are expecting yet another child! Wow, that's a big family.</span></div>
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<span style="color: white;"></span><span style="background-color: black;"></span><br /></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Then we get a little more with JJ and Reid, where he tries to badger her into saying that she's really in love with him, and it wasn't just something to distract the killer. But they're interrupted, and the season ends!</span></div>
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<span style="color: white;"></span><span style="background-color: black;"></span><br /></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Screw you, show.</span></div>
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<span style="color: white;"></span><span style="background-color: black;"></span><br /></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">1 - Was profiling in any way helpful in solving the crime?</span></div>
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<span style="color: white;"></span><span style="background-color: black;"></span><br /></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Nope. The killer had publicly threatened his victims.</span></div>
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<span style="color: white;"></span><span style="background-color: black;"></span><br /></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">2 - Could the crime have been solved just as easily using conventional police methods given the known facts of the case?</span></div>
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<span style="color: white;"></span><span style="background-color: black;"></span><br /></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">A killer threatened a courtroom full of people that he would kill everyone involved in his case. 8 years later he got out of jail, and his lawyer was notified that he had been released from prison. A few weeks later, she was gunned down in the street. Yes, they would have caught him almost immediately.</span></div>
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<span style="color: white;"></span><span style="background-color: black;"></span><br /></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">So, on a scale of 1 (Dirty Harry) to 10 (Tony Hill), How Useful Was Profiling in Solving the Crime?</span></div>
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<span style="color: white;"></span><span style="background-color: black;"></span><br /></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">1/10 - A cop saw a stolen car. That's what solved the case this week. Had the cops been better about notifying victims and their families, he would have been caught even faster, because the minute Black Plaid tried to kill the second person, he'd have been caught, and the killer would have been arrested.</span></div>
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<span style="color: white;"></span><span style="background-color: black;"></span><br /></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">They had better not kill of Jr. so that JJ and Reid can run off together in the last episode. Those two creeps deserve each other, but man, should Jr. leave JJ and take the kids. I mean, based on the amount she works, it's not like they even know what she looks like. He'll be a much better single father for a brief amount of time, and have no trouble finding a second wife.</span></div>
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<span style="color: white;"></span><span style="background-color: black;"></span><br /></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">That would be the only possible happy ending that this show could offer me going into the last season, and I have no confidence that it has the show is capable of offering it.</span></div>
</div>
Vardulonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17821844774999740966noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9114808246459538090.post-83286097012033435572019-12-31T18:13:00.001-05:002019-12-31T18:13:08.599-05:00Criminal Minds 1414: Sick and Evil<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
We see a woman talking on the phone
with a friend. She's sad, because she lost her baby (as evidenced by
the empty crib in the background, and is envious because the friend
has one! Also, there's a killer in the house. She sees him at the end
of a hallway locks herself in an office that has a fireplace in it!
She grabs a poker to defend herself, but for some reason doesn't
bother to push the desk in front of the door.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Instead, she just watches helplessly as
the killer unscrews the lock and opens the door. The killer attacks
her with a knife, while wearing some kind of two-colour plastic mask!
It's a strange choice. Especially because whoever directed this
episode isn't up to staging all of this like a slasher film the way
Matt Gubler would have.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Joe goes to talk to Emily about his
failure to find the conman, but she tells him that he can't worry
about it too much - there's plenty of other cases that they need to
work on. I'm not sure how the nationwide BOLO and adding him to the
most wanted list hasn't helped - not to mention the bounty likely
placed on his head by the surviving relatives.</div>
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<br /></div>
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They get a call about a new case! But
it's already midnight. Why is Garcia even there to send them an
e-mail. Then we see the team gathered around the table to chat about
the case - it must be, what, 1AM at this point? Could this not have
waited until the morning?</div>
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<br /></div>
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I know I explained in an earlier review
why this can never wait until morning, but wow, is this troublesome
from a writing standpoint. Like, I know most of you are job-obsessed weirdos, but JJ and Matt both have young children at home. Do they just never see their kids? Jr. and that Lawyer must be the best spouses on earth.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Emily reveals that both victims were
clubbed into submission, then tied to a bed and stabbed 22 times in
the stomach. Out of nowhere, Joe announces that neither of them were
mothers, or pregnant at the time of their stabbing. What does that
have to do with anything? Why would you bring that up? I mean, based
on that opening scene, I'm sure that's going to be part of the
killer's whole 'thing', but there's no reason that Joe should be
talking about it already. They weren't stabbed in the womb, Joe.</div>
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<br /></div>
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And if they were clubbed into
submission, why wasn't the killer brandishing a cudgel in that
opening scene?</div>
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<br /></div>
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They head out to the plane at some
point - we're not sure when, because Emily has continued giving
people no information about when they're supposed to be at the plane.
How is this continuing to be a thing? Oh, right, literally no one
working on the show cares at all.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Then we cut over to a hose where a
couple is cleaning up after a dinner party. Will the killer finally
strike when it's not just a woman home alone? Yes! He murders the
couple with a kitchen knife! Weird that people aren't taking more
security precautions, what with two women being brutally slaughtered
in their homes in the past week. Lewiston may be the second-biggest
city in Maine, but less than 40K people live there, so it's not like
this wouldn't be huge news.</div>
<a name='more'></a><br />
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On the plane, they talk about how crazy
it is for someone to do two elaborate murders in a single night. I'll
say! Especially since the first murder happened after it was already
pitch-black outside, so it had to be after 6PM, since this episode is
set in January. Also, we hear that the husband was stabbed 22 times -
killed by the first blow, and then stabbed 21 times later on! So they
figure the killer must be fixated on that number for some reason. But
why?</div>
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<br /></div>
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More importantly, they couldn't
possibly have this information - the husband was killed less than an
hour ago. Even if the ME could figure out the relative timeline of
the stabwounds - which given what a mess his stomach must be, is a
big 'if' - there's no way an autopsy has been perfomed yet. They body
might still be at the crime scene.</div>
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<br /></div>
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How is the show this bad at timelines?
They left for the airport at roughly 1AM, let's say they were in the
air by 1:30, and it's a two-hour flight, which would have them
comfortably at the airport by 4AM. By the time they get to the police
station it's broad daylight, which means it's probably in the
neighbourhood of 9AM.</div>
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What did they do for those missing five
hours?</div>
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<br /></div>
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At the police station in town Emily and
Eric interview the widower of the second victim. He talks about how
hard his wife was taking the miscarriage, and we learn that it was
her sister on the phone who has a bunch of kids!</div>
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The widower has a clue to offer - his
wife had been hearing footsteps inside the house, and he'd thought
she was just going nuts! Could there have been a hider in the house
this whole time? They decide to talk to everyone in the
neighbourhoods, hoping that someone saw a weirdo stalker hanging
around before the killings. Strangely they call it 're-canvassing',
but two of the neighbourhoods haven't actually been canvassed yet,
because the two murders just happened last night.</div>
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<br /></div>
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When JJ and Aisha get to the murder
house, a woman runs up to say that she's a local crime buff, and
warns them that the place was the site of a brutal murder 60 years
ago where a man stabbed his wife to death with a kitchen knife and
then sliced his own throat. Despite the extra detail that the woman
was stabbed in the stomach, JJ and Aisha blow her off, assuming that
information could have no possible relevance to their case.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Thankfully they have Garcia look into
her right away, because they find it suspicious that she knew about
the crime this quickly and tried to insert herself into the
investigation. They don't mention that the stomach stabbing was a
weirdly on-point coincidence, though.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
Hey, dummies? If you both thought
that this woman might be a suspect or at least know something of
value, why did you send her on her way? Wouldn't it
have been far smarter to take her down to the police station to hear
what she has to say while you look into her? I'm not saying that
they've just let the killer go, but it's weird that they think they
might have, and don't see any problem in that.</div>
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Up in the bedroom, Aisha and JJ look
over the crime scene and suggest that the killer may be evolving,
because now he's attacking sleeping women instead of clonking them on
the head! Then again, he attacked a dude who was awake, and that had
every chance of going badly and giving the woman an opportunity to
barricade herself in the bedroom, so is it really an evolution?</div>
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<br /></div>
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Also, they find salt in the four
corners of the room - did the couple know their house was haunted, or
was it the killer's thing?</div>
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<br /></div>
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That night, a lady hears a tub running
upstairs and yells at her daughter not to take another shower. Then
it turns out her daughter is in her bedroom! The mom tells her to
call 911 and then go grabs a gun from a cabinet she keeps in the main
room of the house! That was convenient! Most people keep guns in the
bedroom. Was she expecting someone to come kicking down her front
door at some point?</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Because the mother is an idiot, instead
of barricading herself in the daughter's bedroom and waiting for the
police, she goes to search the house, waving her gun around! Lady,
you know that four people have been murdered in your town by people
breaking into their houses. Why are you taking this risk? Your
daughter is downstairs, woman!</div>
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<br /></div>
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She finds the running tub, turns it
off, and then gets attacked by the killer who sneaked up behind her!
Some people are too stupid to live. It's just a fact.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Garcia finds a connection between the
various victims! Each one of them lived in a house that was thought
to be haunted - at least according to the 'haunted houses' section of
the nosy lady's website about the town's history! The team asks her
for a list of other haunted houses from the website, and she sends it
over. Also, the nosy lady has a history of violent outbursts and used
to be a nurse! Damn, that would make for a pretty good suspect,
right?</div>
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<br /></div>
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She also gets word about the 911 call
from one of the haunted houses, so Joe tells JJ and Tara to rush over
to that house immediately! Joe then tells Matt to get the rest of the
team, because he wants people at all of the other addresses in case
there's another double even.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Um... Joe? It's not your team. It
doesn't matter what you want. Also, maybe have the cops go to those
houses, because they're closer? And also phone the people who live
there and tell them to wait for the cops by the front door?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
At the house they find the latest woman
brutally murdered, and Courtney, the nosy lady, standing in the
corner, with blood all over her hands! Damn, that's a bad look, lady.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
In an interrogation room, Courtney
explains that she tired to help the stabbed woman, and that's why she
got blood all over herself! She explains that she'd figured out which
haunted houses the killer might have gone to next, and she just got
lucky! A likely story! Hey... um... if you'd figured out that all of
the kills were happening at haunted houses you profiled on your
website, why didn't you mention that to the team earlier in the day?
You're a true-crime obsessive who runs a website about this stuff, so
you couldn't have avoided making the connection immediately -
especially after three murders in a single night at two of the
houses.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
What I'm saying is, if this lady
isn't the killer, or working with them, there's no earthly reason not
to tell the team about the connection between the houses. None.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Joe says that he doesn't believe her,
but he'll give her a chance to confess to everything she knows in the
hopes of clearing herself! Could the killer be another member of the ghost-hunting community?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Meanwhile, Aisha interviews the
daughter about the incident. She heard her mom get murdered, and hid
behind a chair. She saw the killer wearing a mask, and then saw the
killer take it off. It was, in fact, a woman, but according to the
daughter, it was not Courtney! Twist! Well, not really - if it had
been her, you would have found the weapon and costume at the crime
scene, and you didn't - after all, the cops got there just minutes
after the 911 call, right?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
Actually, how did the killer get
away? She had to club the mother, drag her to the bedroom, tie her to
the bedposts, stab her two dozen times, and then take a leisurely
stroll down the stairs. But 911 was called before the mother even
went upstairs, so... how did the cops not catch the killer?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Time for the profile, which serves to restate everything the audience already knows - thanks for that! They've already let Courtney go as well, which seems like a weird move to me. I mean, she probably knows the killer, and has been publicly linked to the crimes, wouldn't it make sense to keep her in some kind of protective custody until they find the killer?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
It turns out that Courtney did, in fact, know who the killer was! Garcia calls with a list of other haunted houses that might be targeted for the next killing, and they send her Courtney's list at the same time. It turns out one of the women on it looks exactly like the sketch that was made based on the daughter's memory! Well, that was an easy solve! How is there fifteen minutes left in this episode?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Oh, okay, here's how - we cut to Courtney going to visit the killer! At her university office! She tells a woman on the list of possible killers that she created that the FBI is in town, and they briefly suspected her of the crimes! The killer's response? Head out to a house that she and her husband had 'failed to cleanse' the week before, a perform a ceremony with them!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Courtney, because she's a moron, agrees to drive out to the middle of nowhere with this woman. Sometimes we bring hardship on ourselves. She even leaves her cell phone in the office, because signals interfere with the 'EMF meters'. Um... then turn the cell phone off once you get there. Why is this woman so gullible? Then again, objectivists exist, so...</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Aisha and Matt arrive at the office soon after, and find Courtney's phone. Is she an accomplice, or the next victim? Obviously the second, but they can't be sure of that yet. They start to search the office, looking for a clue about where the killer's going to strike next!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Over at the murder house, Courtney gives us a rundown of its history! A lady went nuts and stabbed her family 15 times each, and then killed herself. Then, some time later, a couple bought the house and the wife stabbed the husband then killed herself as well! Very specific curse on this house, I like it!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Then the killer corrects Courtney, it was actually 22 stabs each. Which Courtney thinks is 'cool', because she hasn't heard the details of the murders, I guess.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Garcia calls the team with info about the killer - she had a lifetime of mental problems leading to violent behaviour, which she always kept in check with drugs. Then she met her husband, a ghost hunter, and quit all of her meds cold-turkey, since she started believing evil spirits were responsible for everything! There are dozens of super-helpful notebooks lying around offering their whole life story, it seems.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
So, I'm guessing she killed her husband a week ago, and that's what set off this murder spree? I wonder if finding Courtney and the killer is going to be as easy as checking the notebooks to see what the last entry was. Probably not, because, in all likelihood, she's got her current notebook with her. Unless the planning for their last ghost hunt took up the end of one notebook and bled over into the current one? That would be a big coincidence, but not an impossible one.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Over at the house, the killer chats with a hallucination of her husband, who, presumably will tell her to murder Courtney. Has he been co-piloting the whole murder spree? If so, that's a pretty industrious ghost!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Emily and Luke go over the notebooks - which they've brought back to the office, for some reason, wasting valuable time. They talk for a second about how they don't know anything about the husband, and say that figuring him out will be the key to unlocking the case! It isn't, though - instead they just read the latest journal, and notice that it's not complete - they started work on a house, but never finished it.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
The journal still being there makes perfect sense, BTW - they had one notebook per case, and the husband is the one who took notes, so there's no reason the killer would have had it with her.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
The team decides to rush over to the house, putting all their eggs in a fairly reasonable basket! Meanwhile, the killer has a fight with Courtney and knocks her out, then ties her to a bed. She prepares to stab Courtney as her ghost husband urges her on, but Joe rushes in and shoots the killer dead before she can take another victim!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
THE END</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Outside, Joe goes to talk to Courtney. They talk about how she's obsessed with the supernatural because her twin sister died, and he encourages her to keep ghost hunting as a way to stay connected to her! Also, she says that he looks 'haunted' by the face-off killer, although she just says 'something'. They're really trying to build this guy up, aren't they? It's not working. I mean, unless they have him show up next week and kill someone to cliffhang the season.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I wrote that down as if doing so can make it not happen - stay safe, Jr.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
On the flight back Emily brings Joe some scotch so they can relax with a drink and talk about his condition. Have I ever mentioned how crazy it is that they have booze on this plane? Like... it's a government jet and they're on the job. There should not be any liquor onboard.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Everyone chats about ghosts for a while. Some don't believe in them, others don't! It's not important, either way.<br />
<br />
<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: black; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">So, on a scale of 1 (Dirty Harry) to 10
(Tony Hill), How Useful Was Profiling in Solving the Crime?</span><b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike><br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
1 - Was profiling in any way helpful in
solving the crime?</div>
</div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
Nope. Courtney told them the killer's motive and then gave them a list of suspects, and a witness said which one it was.</div>
</div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
2 - Could the crime have been solved
just as easily using conventional police methods given the known facts of the case?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
It was!</div>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike><br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
1/10 - It's shocking to me how incredibly unprofessional the team was this week. A woman walked up to them and explained that the connection between all of the murders was that they were being committed in haunted houses. They blew her off.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
You've got a possibly crazy person trying to insert herself into the investigation, and giving you a great lead - there's a good chance she's the killer, and yet you didn't look into her at all. How are you so bad at this? No, she didn't out to be the killer, but if you'd spent an hour talking to her, you would have gotten the names of everyone else in the area who is obsessed with the occult, and when one of them had a history of mental problems and violent outbursts, you would have been on to your killer immediately.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
What I'm saying is, that little girl's mother got stabbed to death because the team couldn't be bothered to do their jobs in the most basic way.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
You're awful at this, team.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I think it's a sign of how bizarrely bloated this show's cast is that it wasn't until we got to the plane scene at the end of the episode that it really sunk in that Reid was taking another week off. I know they said he was teaching at the start of the episode, but wow, I didn't notice his absence at all.</div>
</div>
Vardulonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17821844774999740966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9114808246459538090.post-2157619119192061062019-12-31T17:22:00.000-05:002019-12-31T17:22:15.997-05:00Criminal Minds 1413: Chameleon<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
The episode opens as Joe is starting
his day. Notably he has a band-aid on his head! No wonder dramatic
music is playing over an innocuous scene! He grabs his gun from a
secret panel that opens up when you put a magnetic card against a
table. That's just a weird thing to have. You live alone dude, it's
find if you have a gun safe.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
This is the second time we've seen the
team having this kind of secret gun safe - the weird part? No one had
a secret gun safe until the Roswell episode. It's almost like the
prop team had so much fun building the secret gun safes for that
episode that they just decided that all of the team members should
have them as an excuse to keep building the things.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Joe sits on the bed for a second,
trying to get his head together, then goes down to leave, when he's
intercepted by Crystal. She wants to know why he won't talk about
'this', and they're both really oblique about what's troubling him.
Hey, what does Joe do on his birthday now that the Womb Raider has
been dead for two years? Just curious.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
When Joe gets to the office, we see
that Eric's arm is bandaged and in a sling - apparently something bad
happened to everyone? Also Reid has spent all weekend at the office,
working on a case! What's going on here? Reid's mad it himself for
not seeing something that should have been obvious. Apparently a case
went horribly awry, just like the arson from last year - so... when
do the flashbacks start?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
From Joe's conversation with Emily we
learn that a killer escaped and the investigation is still ongoing -
Joe blames himself for what happened, and can't ask anyone for help,
because that's the kind of person he is! So Emily sends him home to
talk to Crystal, which is where the flashbacks will happen. So yeah,
I guess this is a redo of that JJ and Jr. episode.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
We get our first flashback scene - Joe
is working his way through the woods completely on his own when the
killer tackles him, knocks his gun out of his hand, and tries to
choke him to death! So, is this the first time Joe's had a near-death
experience while working for the team? I can't remember any others,
but maybe I'll check later on!</div>
<a name='more'></a><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
At the breakfast table, Crystal gets a
text from Portia with today's literary quote! Yup, that's how they're
getting one of those in. That's... awkward.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
At the briefing we learn some weirdly
contradictory information. A woman was choked to death, stabbed, and
then had her face removed and stolen. Then the killer poured acid on
a gas pipe to corrode it, hoping to make a house fire look like an
accident. But the woman was barely burned at all. Maybe the
firefighters just happened to drive by the house at exactly the right
moment? This kind of half-countermeasure doesn't really make sense to
me. If you want to burn down a house to destroy evidence, just do it
- trying to make it look like an accident won't work, because even if
they just have a charred skeleton, they're still going to know that
it was stabbed a bunch and the face was removed.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
On the plane, they talk about
victimology, the lack of a forced entry, all of the normal stuff that
they might use to narrow down their suspect pool, but almost
certainly won't. At the police station, they talk about how the cuts
to the face were crude and amateurish - clearly not the work of
someone with medical training. Then they discover that the dead woman
has a son, so Emily suggests that they bring him in - maybe he'll
know the woman's friends well enough that he can identify who might
be the killer!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Have you checked his alibi, though? He
could have easily gotten into the house, and because this isn't a
serial murder yet, shouldn't you be focusing on traditional motives,
as well as the esoteric?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Eric interviews the on, who claims that
Matthew, his mother's boyfriend, is the likely killer. He claims that
he heard the guy call someone 'honey' on the phone, and then the guy
claimed that it was just his mother! The dead lady backs this up -
apparently he talks to his mother on the phone a lot, often in front
of her! Then the boyfriend proposes to the mother, and she accepts!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
The son is not psyched about that, and
says that the boyfriend must have murdered the mother right after he
left! Um... what? So he goes to the trouble of proposing in front of
you, and your mother accepts, then the minute you leave he strangles
her, stabs her, and steals her face? Is he the least effective killer
in history?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Apparently he's got some minor skills -
she didn't know about his real home address, and he used a disposable
cell phone to talk with her. Still, as conmen or serial killers go,
he's not a very good one - they've got tons of pictures of him. Of
course, he's also wearing a hilariously fake moustache, so maybe he's
not worried about being recognized without it? Garcia does some
digging and can't get a facial recognition match on the boyfriend -
but she does discover that he'd been stealing all of the dead lady's
money. So he was, in fact, a conman - just one who's never been
arrested ever or had any kind of driver's license or photo ID!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Weirdly, they keep referring to him as
'the Unsub' in all of these scenes, but he's not unknown to you.
You're looking at pictures of him.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Joe talks about how the conman has
escaped to another state and changed his look, and we see a montage
of him doing that, and I'm still not sure why they've eliminated the
son as a suspect. Yeah, the conman is a bad guy, but this is an
extravagantly over-the-top murder, so it's a little weird that they
assume a conman could be successful with that concentration of crazy
running through his veins.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
We then see the conman with the next
lady he's moved in on - she also has a child, this one a teenager
slightly younger than the other kid. Then, when he goes to the
bathroom to check his look, we find that he does, in fact, have a
face in his briefcase! So I guess he is the weirdly extravagant
killer? Then again, this is all in Joe's flashback, so who knows? The
face he's got in his briefcase is almost unbelievably perfect-</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyE5KXsTQHtcAmwh_G2qJitRVCI64BLx4aTl62LyeJQVQ_TLLt9S-VLfThpQ-RZwVSIBuqfMRdETyh22yCqzgINgtvokfFog7oBYZwgLr_cOcY9upq_xM_JUOAPO-v7tjtB1wdI6FBQ6Cs/s1600/CRIM1413A.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="418" data-original-width="720" height="185" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyE5KXsTQHtcAmwh_G2qJitRVCI64BLx4aTl62LyeJQVQ_TLLt9S-VLfThpQ-RZwVSIBuqfMRdETyh22yCqzgINgtvokfFog7oBYZwgLr_cOcY9upq_xM_JUOAPO-v7tjtB1wdI6FBQ6Cs/s320/CRIM1413A.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
How could someone with zero medical
training do such a great job of protecting the lips, nose, and
eyelids? Seems like that would be a challenge, doesn't it?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
At the police station, the team wonders
if this is necessarily the conman's first murder - could there be
others they don't know about because the fire destroyed their bodies
completely? Garcia looks through a list of accidental fires in the
state where a middle-aged woman was killed. They narrow it down to
people who are suffering from empty nest syndrome, after having a
children move out. That leaves them with just one possible suspect!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
They talk to the kids of the first dead
woman, and find out something weird - maybe he's not a conman at all,
in the traditional sense? He took no money from their mother, and she
had over a million dollars just lying around!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
The team is taken by how massively
different the guy looked from pictures to picture - they assume that
he's not just a normal conman changing his look, but rather a
complete psychopath with no core personality! Their tip to the
police: go through his cover stories - if there's any common elements
between them, those might be true things about himself that he uses
because they're easier to remember!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Talking to all of the families, they
find a common thread - the conman came from Mississippi and had a
daughter named Grace who died when she was a child - and he blames
his mother for the death because she was neglectful! They search for
a story like that in the town he mentioned, but it's such a small
town that their newspapers and police files aren't online. So,
instead of just calling the police department, they fly some people
out there to search manually!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Meanwhile, the latest victim decides to
propose to the conman before he gets the chance to. This screws up
his whole timeline! So he attacks the woman at the dinner table by
smashing a vase over her head. I guess he kills the daughter as well?
Although if he did, then it would be incredibly dishonest for the
show to have put up a bunch of scenes where only the killer and his
victims were present, since this is Joe's story.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
In Mississippi, Eric and Matt find
records of a conwoman who did they exact same thing with men, and
used her son as part of the grift. She's currently in jail for
killing a boyfriend! Eric and Matt go to see her, and it's popular
actress Sharon Lawrence! She talks about using her son in cons over
the years, gradually turning him into a monster! They ask her about
the drowned daughter, and she shuts up immediately!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
At the police station, the team notices
a pattern to the conman's crimes - he's specifically targeting women
in the cities where his mother targeted men, and in the same order!
It's almost like he wants to be caught! They have Garcia search for
women in Little Rock who fit the profile of who the killer is looking
for. It doesn't end up being a difficult search, because one of the
women has a pircute of the conman on her facebook page!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
It turns out the mother and daughter
are fine! The conman just tied them up and tried to decide what to do
next. Then he gets a call from Sharon's lawyer - he's passing along
the message that the FBI is on to him!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
When the team got to the house, they
found that the killer had left severed faces all over the place -
apparently he's killed bunches of women! So, wait, if that's the
case, how did the 'following the mother's trail' thing become a lead?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Then we get to the twist - all of the
scenes in the flashback with Joe, about the teenaged girl not
trusting the conman? Yeah, those were all lies. She was secretly his
daughter Grace! So yeah, this was a twist caused by the show just
lying to us over and over again.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Just to be clear - the conman's plan
was to wait with his daughter at the house, and try to kill every
police officer that showed up. That was his plan. God, this episode
just got terrible.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Anyway, after choking out Joe, the guy
fled into the woods, and they didn't catch him! This is what happens
when you don't bring backup, team.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Crystal tells Joe that he'll have to
track down the conman the only way he can - no, not by flooding the
media all across the country with his name and face, and trusting
that he'll be spotted immediately. That would be too easy. No, he's
going to go and talk to the daughter, and try to get her to turn her
father in!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Will he manage it, or will we never
hear about his case again?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
THE END</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
1 - Was profiling in any way helpful in
solving the crime?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
They did not catch the killer, so no,
it wasn't.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
2 - Could the crime have been solved
just as easily using conventional police methods given the known
facts of the case?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
They had so many pictures of this guy's
face. I'm not sure how he was this hard to find.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
So, on a scale of 1 (Dirty Harry) to 10
(Tony Hill), How Useful Was Profiling in Solving the Crime?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
0/10 - If they catch this guy in the
future based on talking to his daughter, then that episode will get a
decent amount of points. But they didn't catch him, so they get none.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
So, remember how that last episode
using this format was a JJ&Jr. episode? Well, I guess she liked
that experience so much that when it was time to do that exact same
episode again, but with Joe, she wanted to direct it! That's right -
this is AJ Cook's first episode as a director!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Other than all of the lies it told to
cover for its twist, it was perfectly serviceable!</div>
</div>
Vardulonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17821844774999740966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9114808246459538090.post-4466545099266728812019-12-31T17:19:00.000-05:002019-12-31T17:19:10.940-05:00Crminal Minds 1412: Hamelin<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
It's night, in Iowa, and a kid is
sleeping peacefully in bed. But how long can that last? Like three
seconds. Then he hears mysterious whispering and goes to investigate!
He heads straight out the front door and heads down the street! We
find him next in a playground, where he starts swinging. Then he's
joined by more kids doing the same. Is this an episode about some
kind of super-swami?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
The next day, JJ gets a call from her
mother announcing that she's coming to stay while her house is being
repaired. For a moment I think this means we're going to have Josh
Stewart show up, but no, their house is being painted, so JJ is
staying in a hotel for a week while he takes the boys to Florida.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Wait... Florida? Why would he not take
them to Louisiana? That's where he's from - shouldn't they get a
chance to see their ancestral homeland? And I mean ancestral, they've
got a French last name, they've probably been in New Orleans for
ever!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Time for a case rundown- three kids
went missing! Crazily, the team actually takes a moment to wonder if
this is just ten-year-olds spending all night out with friends. Hey,
remember when that actually happened last year, the kids were going
to spend all night out with friends, and the team went anyway even
though there were no signs of foul play?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
This time they at least have reason to
be weirded out - no clothes or shoes were taken, so the kids must
have gone out in the bedclothes. Suspicious!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Then, Emily once again uses 'Wheels Up'
as a catchphrase with no unit of time attached to it. When are they
supposed to be in the plane, Emily? You're the boss, you should be
planning this better, Emily.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Before they can leave, Garcia gets an
e-mail from the police - they've got footage of the kids swinging in
the park, and then getting into a white panel van, beckoned and
dragged by a white guy, based on the hand!</div>
<a name='more'></a><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Emily's first line in the episode wins
her a Prentiss Award, but again, I find myself wishing that there was
a stronger award to give her.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe width="320" height="266" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/k-CLf5gPz3c/0.jpg" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/k-CLf5gPz3c?feature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
No, it's still a kidnapping, Emily.
Even if the guy doesn't want a ransom, it's still a kidnapping. Any
time you grab someone, through them in a car, and drive away, it's a
kidnapping. It doesn't matter that the kids got in willingly, they
were taken without their parents' permission, so they were kidnapped.
Emily, if someone says to a kid 'come back to my van, there's candy
in the back', then shuts the door on them and drives off, do you not
think that's a kidnapping? What is wrong with this woman?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Apparently the kids had no behavioural
problems, and no history of running away, so something more sinister
must be going on. Then Emily proves that she's the boss by telling
the team to split into pairs and visit the parents while she checks
with the field agents already working the case.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
She doesn't tell them how to pair off,
or which families to visit. Just announces that it should happen and
makes no further comment. You're terrible at this, Emily.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
At the police station Emily runs into
the mayor - Doc Potterywood - and he asks what's being done to make
sure this doesn't happen again. Emily offers no guarantees, since she
has no idea what's going on!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
At the first house, Joe and Matt talk
with the wound-up mother. She blames the kid's love of his devices
for his abduction, assuming that the kid has been grabbed by someone
he met online. Also, he likes building things out of paper mache.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Things get super-crazy back at the
station, where we're told that none of the kids knew one another,
because they all went to different schools! Is that really possible,
though? All of the children are the same age - how big is this town
that it has three different elementary schools? We saw a map of the
routes the kids took to the park, and they all lived within a
three-block radius of it. Two of the kids lived just two blocks
apart. How could they not have been in the same school?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Oh, and Reid thinks that they've all
been hypnotized into walking out to the park in the middle of the
night. So it is a Super-Swami situation, after all! Or, I guess, a
Pied Piper situation, if you want a better analogy. So how did the
swami select these victims?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Then Garcia gives a bizarre speech
where she talks about how traumatic it was searching through sex
offenders within fifty miles of the town, which suggests that there
were a ton of them. But then she says there's just one possible
offender - so it couldn't have been that long of a list, right? The
point is, he just got out of jail, and owns a white van! Could he be
their guy?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Probably not, we're just nine minutes
into the episode.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Then it's over to the swami's lair,
where we see him near what looks like a sound board and some
surveillance equipment. He hears the kids banging on the door of the
room he has them locked in, so he kicks it to shut them up! It turns
out the kids are probably in a currently-warm meat locker, because
there's hooks hanging from the ceiling.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
At roughly the same time, the perv is
arrested in the park, watching some girls eating lunch at a table.
He's immediately arrested.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Then it's over to Quantico, where JJ
takes her mother on a tour of the offices! She thinks that she and JJ
should go out on a drive to Ocean City, Maryland - they haven't been
there since JJ and her sister were little! That's a weird destination
for them - I mean, it's not impossible, but doesn't it seem like
Ocean City is the kind of place that people from Maryland or
Virgiania go on vacation? It's quite a drive from Pittsburgh, is all
I'm saying.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Joe and Emily interview the perv, but
he has an alibi. They don't like him, though, so they trump up fake
charges to get him sent back to prison. I'm not against them doing
this, but let's just take a moment to luxuriate in this abuse of
power by the same people who said it was immoral to not help a
cannibal serial killer get out of an insane asylum.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I'm just looking for a little
consistency, people.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Doc comes by the office to ask if this
is the guy so they can announce the threat is over, but Matt and
Aisha tell him that it definitely isn't. Will there be more
abductions that night? It would be weird if there were, since you'd
think parents with kids that age would be locking them in their
rooms, and the cops would be all over the streets, but let's find
out!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Yeah, in the next scene another kids
escape their home - by jumping out a window! That's just kooky! Then
the van driver picks the kid up and they speed away!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
At the police station, the team if
baffled - if these kids are just hypnotized, how did the little girl
know to jump out a window instead of checking on the front door? What
kind of cosmic hypnosis is this? Also, it's a little weird that the
family went to the trouble of both locking the front door and pushing
a couch in front of it, but didn't bother wiring the daughter's
window shut. Then they hear that the swami has left a package at the
local newspaper!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Inside the envelope they find the names
of the first three victims and a set of nail clippings. This leads
Matt to make a fool of himself by referring to them as 'proof of
life'. Except, and I hate to be morbid like this, dead bodies also
have nails you can clip. Proof of life is talking to someone, or a
video of them made after the abduction. It's not a lock of hair. With
the clippings is a video where a camera looks at the huddled,
frightened children while a voice says 'how does it feel'?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
This is all the information they need
for the profile - the swami must be trying to get even with the town,
possibly over the loss of his own child. He's making the townspeople
feel what he did! So now it's just a question of looking for tragic
stories in the town's recent history. And, you know, tying your
children to their bedposts at night.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
We see the swami doing some strange
audio work while the profile is given. He records the sounds of acid
burning things, plastic crinkling, metal tapping. It's a weird thing
to watch. Is this guy hypnotizing children via ASMR? Do children
listen to ASMR? I thought it was just a weird fetish thing. Oh, and
the guy wears latex gloves while doing all of this. Strange!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
More with JJ and her mother! It seems
she only be pretended to need a place to stay because she's lonely
and wanted to spend time with her daughter! Maybe move closer to DC
then, instead of just wallowing in resentment?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
At the police station, we discover that
the key linking two of the kids is paper mache! Please tell me that
the kids were hypnotized by paper mache videos on YouTube. That would
be amazing.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Then we check in on another family, as
the mother prepares to lock up the house, there's a knock on the door
downstairs. Her son goes to answer it, despite there being a maniac
on the loose, and when he does, the maniac is there! He recognizes
the guy immediately. So now the swami is just grabbing kids from
their front doors? How has he not been caught yet?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
How big is this town supposed to be
that he's able to get around unnoticed? There's definitely been a
curfew since the first abduction, with no unapproved cars allowed out
on the streets - so how is his guy able to drive his van around
without being spotted?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Also, what would he have done if the
mother had come to the door and looked through the peephole? How
would this guy have explained being out knocking on doors after
curfew?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Oh, and it turns out that this was the
mayor's house, and while the guy was abducting the son, he smashed in
the mother's head! Reid thinks it's too late to save her, even though
she's sitting up in a chair looking at him when he takes her pulse.
You're not a medical doctor, Reid, you don't make those kinds of
assessments.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
When the team interviews the mayor,
they discover that the son's computer has been locked away for a week
because he didn't do his chores. They assume that this means the
killer has been contacting the kids over the internet, and when he
couldn't get to this one, he just attacked the house! What that
doesn't explain is why Garcia hasn't found any trace of this contact
- she's had 48 hours to track down these kids' media use, and come up
with zero information in all that time?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />What's going on with you, Garcia?
Ever since you got kidnapped you've been terrible at your job.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Seriously, though, what kid opens the
front door after dark during a curfew when there's a killer on the
loose? I'm not saying that woman deserved to be murdered for having
raised an idiot, but I'm also not saying that, either.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Garcia does come up with a lead - all
of the kids went to the same summer activities program the previous
year! Weird that it took you that long to find the link, Garcia.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Reid and Emily look over the missing
kid's computer, and finds that it contains an ASMR video with
whispering atop it! The theory - the kids were hypnotized by the
video, and then compelled to do what the voice said!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Dear god, what has this show become? A
couple of seasons ago the point of view of the show was that
Hypnotism couldn't work unless you drugged someone, and now kids are
being hypnotized by internet videos? This is just madness. Seriously,
if they fought an actual werewolf it would be less implausible than
this.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
The show's crazy understanding of how
the brain works just gets worse as we learn that the kids were given
instructions on where to go by the sound of a creaking swing chain,
and the word 'Hamelin' being played over and over backwards. So what,
the kids subconsciously understood that they were representative of
the kids from the fairy tale and played their part?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Oof. We get to the reveal of the
killer, and it's so obvious that I can't believe it didn't come up
earlier. The summer program's computer teacher was fired for being
inappropriately close to the kids and meeting up with them in random
places to 'teach' them things. If any of the missing kids were one of
the ones who reported him, this guy should already have been caught.
What parent, after their kid disappeared, wouldn't immediately think
'hey, remember last year when that guy was fired for getting creepy
with my kid? Maybe that has something to do with it?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
And hey, when they searched for
everyone with a white van in the state, how did they not notices that
one of them was fired from a job in this town for being inappropriate
with kids?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Oh, and back at base, we learn that the
guy might have killed his son - no one's seen either of them for
three weeks, and the kid was having trouble at school because his dad
was a suspected child molester. They search his house, and find a
noose - evidence that the son killed himself, triggering this violent
rampage!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Meanwhile, all of their profiling
proves pointless, because the killer just grabs a woman in the park
and puts a gun to his head, while yelling about how everyone accused
him of being a monster. That was an easy solve!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Matt and Aisha confront him in the
park, so he shoots himself, after announcing that the kids will be
dead soon! So I guess if the Hamelin thing is true, he's going to
drown them? Or maybe he just turned the freezer on finally. Can the
team figure out where his torture dungeon is in time?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Yes, and it's not at all difficult! The
guy had meat tenderized all over his shoes, so Garcia does a search
and finds out there's an abandoned meat packing plant on the edge of
town. The team rushes over there and saves the kids without any
difficulty.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
THE END</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
We get another scene with JJ and her
mother, where she admits that she wasn't a good parent! Yeah, we knew
that years ago when you guilted JJ about not telling her 10-year-old
child about suicide. They also mention that now they know the 'truth'
about her sister's suicide she realizes how valuable JJ's life
choices have been. But didn't they always know that the sister killed
herself because of depression influenced by an inappropriate love
affair? That's what the flashbacks in the Slenderman episode
suggested.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
In Iowa the kids are reunited with
their parents! The mayor is happy to see his son, despite the child's
idiocy getting his wife killed.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
1 - Was profiling in any way helpful in
solving the crime?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
They did not solve the crime.
Everything went according to the killer's plan.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
2 - Could the crime have been solved
just as easily using conventional police methods given the known
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
facts of the case?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
A curfew would have caught this guy
almost immediately.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
So, on a scale of 1 (Dirty Harry) to 10
(Tony Hill), How Useful Was Profiling in Solving the Crime?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
0/10 - I just had the most unpleasant
thought, and it's one of those things that comes into your head
unbidden, and I hope I'm just going crazy. Here's the thing - this
episode ends with Reid and JJ chatting about what he thinks the
future holds, and he suggests they chat about it sometime. The season
opened with a reminder of the time that they almost went on a date 13
years ago before that storyline was abandoned. Are they going to do
something incredibly stupid like kill of Jr. and try to get these two
together before the show ends?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Because that would be a betrayal of the
most severe kind imaginable. I'm sure that writing 1500 pages about
Criminal Minds in just a couple of months has sent me around the
bend, and now I'm seeing patterns where they aren't there, but wow,
would that be the worst choice that the show could possibly make. Not
only is their relationship the sole healthy one in the history of the
show, but Jr. is literally the best person in the cast of recurring
characters. So no, this can't be happening.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Then again, this season opened by Reid
sacrificing Theo - the most heroic character in this history of the
show - for Garcia, so at this point, who knows to what depths this
thing can sink, right?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Normally I use this space to talk about
stuff from the episode, but I was so deeply unsettled by the ending
that I had to take a moment and just wallow in my own terrible
predictions. Sorry about that.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
So, this episode was trash, huh?</div>
</div>
Vardulonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17821844774999740966noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9114808246459538090.post-76234399744728635542019-12-31T17:14:00.000-05:002019-12-31T17:14:49.555-05:00Criminal Minds 1411: Night Lights<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
In bed, a woman is awoken by her
smartwatch! It warns her that the motion sensors outside the house
are detecting someone. Her husband assures her that it's just the
cat, and they should go back to sleep. Why even have an alarm system?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />Then they hear someone banging on
the door downstairs and screaming! So naturally they check the door
camera and call the security office, who are already sending a car!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
The couple debates whether to open the
door, and decide not to - but it woudn't have mattered, because the
killer comes and grabs the guy less then 30 seconds after they turned
on the camera. So by the time they got downstairs and opened the
door, he would have been there, killing them. I'm not saying that
this guy is an idiot, but if you're ever in this position, running
away from a killer in a suburban neighbourhood, here's what you do -
run across lawns, screaming for the police, and every time to pass a
house, smash every window you can without slowing down. A dozen
families waking up at once is the kind of thing that gets the police
super-mobilized, and might even scare off a killer.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
At Quantico, the team is talking about
the fact that DRGF is planning a housewarming party so that she can
meet the whole team. Eric is hesitant about it for no good reason!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Time for the case! It seems that a week
ago a couple was wound with duct tape and killed in their home. Last
night a man with duct tape on was banging on a door, screaming about
how someone was going to kill 'us'. That suggests another couple has
been attacked! Although the victim hasn't been identified yet.
Despite Garcia's access to Portland's DMV, and the fact that they
have a high-resolution image of the man's face from the door camera.
Garcia explains that 'nothing's come up' on the guy. So what, he
doesn't have a driver's license?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Then it's over to the killer's lair,
where the couple are tied down with nowhere near enough duct tape.
Seriously, there's just a single piece over the guy's forehead and
neck, he could easily sit up with no trouble at all. They talk about
how scared they are, and then the killer arrives with a blow torch
and night vision goggles, even though it's super-bright in the room!
Apparently the killer's thing is to burn people's eyes out with
blowtorches? Disgusting!</div>
<a name='more'></a><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
On the plane, they get more details
about the first victims! The tips of their corneas were burned, and
no other part of them. Then they were stabbed to death! Ick. On the
video, they spot a similiar burn on one of the victim's eyes!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
At the police station, the team notes
that the suburban neighbourhood borders a bit of forest. Could the
victim have run all the way through it? Probably not - if he did, how
could the killer have tracked him in the vehicle he used to take the
guy away? He'd have to have known where the guy came out of the
woods, which would be impossible to predict. This seems fairly
implausible already.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Also, despite the fact that they only
have two data points - the dead family, and the guy who banged on the
door - there's three spots marked on the city map. Speaking of, I
just checked the map, and while the bound guy would have had to have
run anywhere from 500 meters to 1km based on where he was being held
- we can assume that he was being held somewhere bordering on the
woods, because he ran straight through them instead of looking for
help closer - the killer would have had to have drive somewhere
between 2.5 and 3 miles to reach the same location in a vehicle.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
This means that it would have taken the
killer and his victim roughly the same amount of time to get to the
place they ended up - the problem is, the victim had to get to
literally any house, while the killer had no idea where his victim
would come out of the woods. For all he knew, the victim could have
waited in the woods until he sped away, then doubled back and called
the police from a closer building.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
The only way any of this was possible
at all is if the killer has a partner, who followed the victim on
foot while the killer used GPS to track their movements. Which isn't
all that likely.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />Eric thinks it's significant that
had the victim just turned right after leaving the woods he would
have stumbled onto a community police station. They assume that means
that these victims might not be from Portland. Except, you know,
people only know about the community policing stations in their own
neighbourhood. In my town there are dozens of community policing
stations. But I can only tell you about two places to find cops - the
station just down the street from me, and the headquarters downtown.
I can't imagine that it's different for people in Portland, a city
only slightly smaller than the one I live in.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
JJ heads off to the murder house, and
they transition to that location by doing the 'zoom in on a picture'
that was the show's trademark visual for the first season and was
largely abandoned after! Nice callback, episode!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
The first victims' son walks JJ through
the house, trying to find any clues. She gets a juicy one - the
killer turned off all of the power to the house, making it was pitch
black when he killed his victims. No light, blinding victims - it
seems like someone's a little focused on taking away sight, isn't it?
JJ goes to talk to Reid and Matt, and her first statement questions
whether the son might be the killer. Why? Because he didn't tell the
cops about the power being out! But then he told you right away,
silly. Why would the killer have done that?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
They find fingerprints all over the
floor - the killer must have blinded the couple, then let them move
around the room, sightless, so he could enjoy watching them suffer
until they died! They have a new assumption - the killer must have
let the victim go last night with one good eye, just so he could hunt
him down again! Gosh, that killer is a moron, because there's no way
he would have been able to catch the guy. Again, unless there were
two of them.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
More with the victims, who are still
tied up, reminisce about their lives together! The guy is blinded,
the woman has not been.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
The killer comes back and unties the
man, giving him a chance to run! But how far will he make it with no
ability to see?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
At the police station, the team asks
the important question - why would the killer turn all the lights off
in the house if he was going to blind the people anyway? What's the
point of night vision goggles when you're chasing blind people
around? You could just turn the lights on. They have no idea, of
course, and wonder if it has a symbolic meaning, rather than an
obvious on, like, for example, maybe the killer has something wrong
with his eyes?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Garcia finds video footage of the guy
running, and he's moving incredibly fast with great form! Could he be
a runner in town for a marathon? They check the registrants of that
weekend's race, and find the guy immediately!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
We see that the guy ran past three
houses, which is a little weird - like I said, if you're ever in this
situation, break windows. Also maybe go to back yards? You'll be
harder to catch if the guy can't see you from the street.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Oh, and the couple was staying at an
AirBNB - which Matt points out is a great way to get targeted by a
serial killer!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
We intercut the couple trying to escape
with the team rushing towards the rental house. Will they be inside,
or will this be yet another riff on that scene from Silence of the
Lambs? The guy offers to untie his wife, but she says that the killer
will be back soon, and there's no time. Her plan? Guide him out by
describing where the stairs out of the room are!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Great plan, lady. Except, when you get
to the bottom of the stairs, he's still going to be blind, and you
won't be able to guide him any more. So... maybe just let him untie
you? It's not going to be hard, duct tape is very fragile.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
And yes, it's yet another Silence of
the Lambs thing, and the guy gets stabbed as soon as he gets to the
front door. Seriously, what was going on with this plan? If you'd set
your wife free, the two of you could have laid a trap for this guy.
Are you people morons who hate being alive? Couldn't the production
staff have just chained her up to explain why he wouldn't be able to
save her?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
They find no clues at the house, but
Eric gets some info from a neighbour kid! Proving that the show is
garbage at keeping a timeline, Eric asks about anything strange
happening 'last night', and the kid tells him about the abduction.
But, of course, the abduction was two night ago. How is the show so
bad at this?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Anyway, the kid next door saw the
killer wearing strange sunglasses at night. What could they have
been? Eric shows him a picture of some, and the kid immediately
identifies them as the kind of glasses that help nearly-blind people
see! Time for the profile! They think it's a blind guy who hates
sighted people, and wants to get revenge on them for being able to
see! Great insight, there. Maybe focus on illegally searching medical
records?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Up in the attic, the lady finds out
that her husband has been killed, and freaks out. Then she asks the
guy what happened to his eyes, and he whispers the story to her!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Garcia digs up that the first dead
couple included a doctor who did exposure therapy - forcing children
to confront their phobias in order to overcome them. One of his
patients jumped off a bridge, and he shut down the program. JJ
believes that the son withheld the detail about the power being off
in the house because he subconsciously knew that these murders had to
do with a shameful secret in his family's past!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Except no, obviously he didn't, that's
just a crazy thing to say. Also, he did report the thing about the
breakers. He reported it to you. Don't you think it's way more likely
that when he was first in shock after finding his parents' bodies he
didn't remember every detail, but a week later, talking to you, he
knew more? Isn't that the more logical answer?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
The son shows Reid and Emily where his
dad kept the files from his research, and two super-dumb things
happen right on top of one another. First, Reid observes that the
files have been anonymized, so there's no names attached to them. He
says this before opening the boxes, so how would he know? And why
would the doctor do this with his own personal records?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Even dumber, JJ opens her first box and
the first file she pulls out is a kid who was scared of the dark - it
must be the killer! That's right - there were two closets stacked
full of boxes, and literally the first file from the first box is the
guy they're looking for. Ugh.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
In the killer's lair, he lets the lady
go with just her hands tied. She offers to help him, if she can, and
he sends her off!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Every now and then I get to a scene in
Criminal Minds where I just wind up staring blankly at the screen,
straining to understand what's happening. This is such a moment. They
need to find the identity of one of the anonymized patients, #20411.
Reid thinks that the number is a code that can be cracked. Why would
it be, though? Isn't the whole point of anonymizing files to give
them arbitrary numbers that you just look up in a ledge somewhere?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
This leads to Reid winning a Prentiss
Award for the next scene-</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe width="320" height="266" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/0IuXYr26_9I/0.jpg" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/0IuXYr26_9I?feature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
That's right, Reid has had them print
up a hundred number cards so he can lay out all of the possible
arrangements of those five numbers. Why? How much information can you
plausibly hide in five numbers? This is insane, and if it somehow
works, I'm going to be furious.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Also, and I can't stress this enough,
since they know what year the study was done, and the file would say
what age the kid was, and they know what city he lives in, shouldn't
they just check male children of that who are blind now? How long
could that possibly take? It's not like he's not seeing a doctor for
his condition - he has special glasses.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Hey, remember when, earlier in the
episode, they tried to figure out why the killer target the jogging
couple, and wondered if it was about the house they were staying in?
I guess they never looked into the history of the house, and then
forgot about that line of inquiry, because in this scene JJ brings
that concept up like it's a new idea!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Serious question: Is anyone reading
these scripts before they're shot?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
The team talks to the person who runs
the AirBNB, and show her a photo of the killer from the surveillance
footage. She claims not to know him! She does know what 20411 means,
though! Back in high school, she was assaulted by the killer during a
party in the woods, and didn't tell the cops about it! The 20411 was
the street address of his house.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Then it turns out that the guy was a
scumbag criminal who's been in jail for a decade, and now he's out,
looking for revenge. So, you're telling me that if the moment they'd
found out that the guy ways blind Garcia had just searched for
'violent criminals who are also blind' they'd have had him
immediately? Wow.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
The killer takes the lady down to see
the corpses of all of his victims! She blinds him with a lamp and
then runs back upstairs! The guy turns off the lights, obvs, and we
get a chase scene! Not much of one, though, since the lady breaks the
window to yell for the team's help, and they stop to talk to her
rather than the SWAT guys continuing to charge in, which gives the
killer a chance to stab her in the back! What, lady, you've never
heard of closing a door behind you?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
They find the killer in the attic, and
Matt shoots him to death!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />THE END</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Hey, remember when that lady got
stabbed in the back? We see her get put into the back of an
ambulance, but get no word about how she's doing! Thanks for that,
show!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
We then see see the housewarming party
that was threatened at the start of the episode!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
1 - Was profiling in any way helpful in
solving the crime?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
No. At this point, are we really
expecting it to, though?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
2 - Could the crime have been solved
just as easily using conventional police methods given the known
facts of the case?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Dogs would have solved the crime almost
immediately, so yes.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
So, on a scale of 1 (Dirty Harry) to 10
(Tony Hill), How Useful Was Profiling in Solving the Crime?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
1/10 - So, yeah, this episode couldn't
have happened at all. A couple was found brutally murdered in their
home with the eyes burned out of their heads. A quick google search
of the dead guy would have revealed that the dead guy was a doctor
who had gotten a patient to kill themselves through a risky
psychological procedure. They would have looked into his patients,
and found the killer fairly quickly.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Really, though, the doctor shouldn't
have gotten killed at all. The killer murdered his parents a week
earlier. These parents obviously have people in their lives who talk
to them. And I'd have to imagine that couple would have been nervous
about their murderously violent blind son getting out of jail, and
talked to people about it.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
When those people never heard from
their friends again, the cops would have gotten a call, and this guy
would have been locked up.</div>
</div>
Vardulonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17821844774999740966noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9114808246459538090.post-544378613337868672019-12-31T17:11:00.000-05:002019-12-31T17:11:00.767-05:00Criminal Minds 1410: Flesh and Blood<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
In yet another SAW-type opening, we
find a guy hanging from the ceiling of a torture dungeon, with a bag
over his head! A killer shows up with the baseball bat and murders
him! Based on the victim's statements, he's probably a murderer.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Then we cut to Emily, who's making
dinner for FBI Guy! She doesn't like how the dinner is turning out,
though, so she calls Joe for advice! Turns out she was using cooking
wine instead of drinking wine! He's a snob, you see, and cares about
that sort of stuff. This gets into her head, though, and suggests
they order a pizza instead!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
This is why you don't listen to cooking
snobs, people. Your tomato sauce will taste fine if you use cooking
wine.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
The date goes fine until it's
interrupted by a phone call! It seems that the latest guy was a
lawyer - as was the previous victim! Was he a mob lawyer? Because he
sure talked like a scumbag! Both men where smashed to death with
baseball bats and then had their hearts cut out. Ick! The team
divvies up duties to go and look for info on the killer - who's
local, as most of their killers seem to be these days.<br /><br />Seriously,
they do not fly a ton. Does their new, lower budget mean they can't pull the jet set out of mothballs very often?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Then it's over to the killer, who makes
a fancy storage case for the victim's heart! Just like that guy did
back at the start of Season 3! Wait, has he been sprung from prison?
No, wait, he was dying and wanted to find a replacement mother for
his son, right? So he can't be the killer.</div>
<a name='more'></a><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Garcia's already got good lead for them -
the last place the victim was scene was at his law office two days
before the body turned up. But Garcia has found footage from the
parking lot of that building - in it, a woman runs up to him and asks
him for a ride, and then gets into his car! But can Penelope's Big
Brother facial recognition technology figure out who she is?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Then it's over to the park, where the
lady pulls the exact same story about her dead car on a jogger! I
guess he's not suspicious because she's pretty, but if a woman came
up to me complaining of a dead car and wanted neither jumper cables
nor a phone to call a tow truck, but instead a ride to an apartment,
I'd be very suspicious! Obviously, he gives her the ride.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
At the morgue, the ME tells them that
the men were beaten within an inch of their lives, but it was the
heart removal that finally did them in! Then things get even stranger
when we discover that the victims' ribs were broken with a hammer and
chisel, just like in that 3rd season episode! This makes the team
assume that the woman on the tape has an associate, because she's
obviously not strong enough to smash ribs on her own. This is idiocy,
of course - if you have a chisel and a hammer, the ribs are getting
smashed. Anyone can manage it, your strength level will just
determine how long it takes.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
So... with the killer from that episode
long dead, who could this copycat be? He had a son who was like 10 or
11, so he'd be murdering age now. Didn't he also have a wife who
abandoned him and the son when he got sick? She could also be the
killer, I suppose. But why is this lady working with one of those two
people?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Then again, it's possible that this has
nothing to do with that case from Season 3 where Eddie Cibrian was
killing people, and the chisel extractions and bespoke heart storage
containers are just a complete coincidence.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I'd say it's weird that no one mentions
the connection, but the two people at the Morgue are Joe and Aisha -
she arrived 8 years after that case, and Joe got there like 3
episodes later, so it's not unreasonable that they wouldn't be
familiar with it.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
At the new dump site Matt and Eric
don't find any evidence of value. They do reveal that the bodies were
dumped almost exactly 3 miles south-west of their abduction sites,
which might be significant. Except, you know, they don't know where
the men were abducted from. They just know where they were seen last.
Yes, this guy was probably abducted by the woman who got into his
car, but that's not a confirmed fact, and they have no idea what
happened with the first victim.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Then it's over to the torture dungeon,
where we see that the killer is, in fact, a young white guy, so I'm
guessing Eddie's son is the most likely suspect? But why is he
killing all of these people?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
At base, the team has been able to
identify the woman from the parking lot, and it turns out that it's
not the woman from the park at all, just one that looks a lot like
her! Their assumption? The killer is hiring sex workers to lure the
men into traps, and then killing them so they won't talk! But why is
Eddie's son killing these men? The first two were lawyers... was one
or both of them involved in his father's case? I remember Eddie kept
the women for a couple of days because he was testing them out as
mothers. Is that why the son keeps these guys?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Actually, wait, I may be going crazy,
did Eddie even live in Virginia? Where was that one set? Also, if
this is related, the team should have noticed it by now - Emily and
JJ were both on the team during that case, and while Reid's off
teaching again, the two of them should have noticed the similarities
between the crimes.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
The team rushes to the latest dump site
- will anyone comment on how weird it is that the killer's ritual has
gone from keeping them 48 hours to keeping the new guy for just
three? The new victim is a financial manager! JJ finally remembers
the Eddie case - although not entirely. Just a strange sense of deja
vu. I don't know why it's not Emily who thinks of it, though - she's
the one who actually went into the garage, saw the hearts, and was
threatened with a chisel. You'd think that would have stuck in her
mind.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
At the office, we find out that sex
worker from the video isn't dead after all! She (and the park sex
worker) explain that a guy named Eddie (cute!) hired her to play a
prank on his dad's friend. So Eddie's son is, in fact, getting
revenge for people who slighted his father in some way!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Garcia finds a connection between the
victims! A woman who worked for the financial manager died under
suspicious circumstances, and the two other people who've been killed
were among those who were witnesses to his alibi on the night the
woman disappeared! In a cute note, the interview transcript we see
includes a reference to the Brett Kavanaugh hearings:</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJv5HE9722mVtLA24RNoznXqcuj8I_LdEuc1MU35QZ56Guogn8Y_ALrgDz-DZzHCqN24QngIxRs5sa95yR_K6KXTGDSeg0aZ-3x6iOUb7rsy-Enr1IXlFNwmAR8wCuZSKdcdk9KlaBWjsF/s1600/CRIM14%25600A.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="421" data-original-width="720" height="187" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJv5HE9722mVtLA24RNoznXqcuj8I_LdEuc1MU35QZ56Guogn8Y_ALrgDz-DZzHCqN24QngIxRs5sa95yR_K6KXTGDSeg0aZ-3x6iOUb7rsy-Enr1IXlFNwmAR8wCuZSKdcdk9KlaBWjsF/s320/CRIM14%25600A.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
That's right, this guy also knew Squee!
Although he spelled it Squi.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
The team decides it's time for a
profile! The killer must be trying to avenge the dead woman, but for
some reason he started with the witnesses who gave him an alibi
rather than the man who was investigated for the crime! That's a
weird choice.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Joe and Aisha go to talk to the dead
woman's mother - Penelope Ann Miller! Who I'll call Ann to avoid
confusion! Apparently she was a psychiatrist of some reknown, so I'm
going to assume that she's Eddie's son's psychiatrist, and she put
him up to murdering the guys she holds responsible for her daughter's
death. Whether she literally asked him to or just implied heavily
that he should do it by talking to him about her grief, she's
probably at the 'heart' of this.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Also, the killer's got to being
bankrolled by someone - he's already spent 20K on this project, and
that's just on the sex workers. Who knows how much the rent on that
torture basement is?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
They interview Ann about the killer,
and she claims not to recognize the picture. She's openly happy that
the guys are getting killed, though, because she's sure the banker
killed her daughter, and the cops are covering it up!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Ann isn't any help, but Garcia hacks
into her client list, and discovers that the various first name on it
is Eddie's son! JJ makes the connection - it turns out those crimes
were in Milwaukee, and the killer moved at some point! Oh, and Eddie
only died in prison last year - apparently his cancer took longer to
do him in than he thought it would, and there was no reason to go on
a killing spree!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
We cut over to the killer, murdering
the next guy. Weird that no one is talking about the fact that he's
speeding up his timeline so drastically.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Back at the office, Emily announces
that she checked in on the killer a few times after Eddie went to
prison, but then didn't bother doing that any more after he was
adopted by people in Mayland. That's right - they moved closer to
where Emily was, and that made Emily less likely to be interested in
helping out! You've got issues, Emily.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
They find out about the new victim, and
it's another banker from the dead guy's firm! Weird that even though
they knew the pattern of the killings 24 hours ago they didn't go to
the guy's firm and his widow and give them a heads up about the fact
that everyone at the guy's bachelor party was on a death list. Also,
presumably the Baltimore police have that list of alibi witnesses as
well, so that could have spend things along. The team's sloppiness is
the only reason this latest guy died, is what I'm saying.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Aisha and Joe interrogate Ann, but her
lawyer keeps them from getting anything. Ann does say something
weird, though - that's it's possible the killer is murdering people
because of genetics, and for no other reason! Can they use that to
discredit her to him later on in the episode?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Garcia finds the latest sex worker ad
that the killer posts, and locks it so they can be the only one to
answer it! Then they send an FBI agent to meet the killer at a public
park. This is a fairly solid plan, actually. It doesn't work, though,
because the killer has been tipped off by Ann that the FBI is on to
him! So he calls the bait up and asks to speak to Emily, who he
remembers from back in the day!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Emily talks to him on the phone, and
half-apologizes for cutting him loose all of those years ago. Yeah,
all of these killings are kind of on you, lady. Then the guy says he
was destined to be a killer, like Dexter, but Emily says that's just
something Ann said to get him to murder for her! This leads to a foot
chase, followed by the killer getting away!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
The team locks down the final victims
on the party list, and wonder what the killer's next move might be.
Emily notes that she told him that Ann was a liar who manipulated him
into murdering people for her - maybe check in on her?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
For the record, it takes her like five
hours to have this idea. Does she want Ann to get killed?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Anyhoo, the team goes to check on Ann
but he's already been abducted. Luckily, based on the science of
magic, the team's geographic profile has confirmed what the killer's
comfort zone is!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe width="320" height="266" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/MdFH9U1YBsg/0.jpg" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/MdFH9U1YBsg?feature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Yeah, that's not really possible,
though? Because all of the guys were kidnapped relatively close to
where they worked, and then their bodies were dumped a set distance
away. But the geographic profile suggests that they should look at a
tiny town on a peninsula leading on the bay? That's not how anything
works, team. Also, in an attempt to cheat, we see the big map with
the locations on it, but then when it's time for the zoom in, they
move to a different map, hoping we won't notice that the place they
decide to look is well to the east of every other point of data on
the map.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
The geographic profile doesn't really
matter, though - the torture dungeon is owned by Ann's uncle. The
team rushes over there while the killer menaces Ann, and then Emily
tries to talk him out of killing her! Ann confesses to her crimes,
hoping it will save her life, and it works!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
THE END</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Back at the office, Emily laments that
she wasn't able to help the killer more, back when he needed it! She
keeps talking about how she wasn't able to look out for him, but
that's not actually true, is it? Like, you could have checked in on
him during the four more years you lived in Virginia, and then kept
in touch long-distance once you moved to London. You just didn't.
Maybe that was because of your tsuris over the Liam Doyle's son
situation, but in any event, no one was stopping you from helping.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
She goes for another date with the FBI
Guy! She admits to being emotionally closed-off!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
1 - Was profiling in any way helpful in
solving the crime?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Nope! There was a direct connection
between all of the criminals.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
2 - Could the crime have been solved
just as easily using conventional police methods given the known
facts of the case?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
It was solved via traditional means.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
So, on a scale of 1 (Dirty Harry) to 10
(Tony Hill), How Useful Was Profiling in Solving the Crime?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
1/10 - Here's the thing - there's no
way this guy should have been able to abduct Ann. They knew that she
was putting him up to the crimes. They had to assume the two were in
some kind of contact, since the killer had tens of thousands of
dollars to throw around with no visible means of support or
employment. There's no reason to think that this woman wouldn't have
been under strict surveillance in the hopes of catching them when
they got in touch with one another.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
The show tries to explain this by
having Ann's lawyer say that he'll sue them if they start tailing her
without good cause, but the team never listens to lawyers, and they
also had good cause. So yeah, the whole ending of the episode makes
no sense!</div>
</div>
Vardulonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17821844774999740966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9114808246459538090.post-56097621338238833082019-12-31T17:04:00.001-05:002019-12-31T17:04:17.142-05:00Criminal Minds 1409: Broken Wing<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
At a suburban house a woman is enjoying
her first day back out of drug rehab! Her friends are worried about
her and offer to stay over to help ensure she doesn't relapse, but
she says she'll be fine! We'll see about that...</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Then we cut to Aisha giving a lecture
to students, accompanied by a kooky image. You need to see this,
because I have no idea what it means:</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Okay, so... doesn't recidivism rate
measure the number of people who reoffend? How can those two
interchangeable terms be the different colours on a pie chart? Let's
see what Alisha has to say! She says that recidivism rates capture
only a small percentage of the crimes repeat sex offenders commit. So
I guess the chart means that 100% of sex offenders reoffend, but only
7% are caught so only that is registered in the recidivism rate? Or
maybe she means they only get charged for a small number of the
crimes they actually commit? In any event, this is flat-out bizarre.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
At the end of the speech a guy comes up
to harass her, and based on her reaction, I'm guessing this is the
ex-husband/drug addict she talked about a little while ago? He
demands her attention, because he's been working on counseling
addicts, and he thinks someone is murdering his clients via overdose
to make it look accidental!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
While Aisha' ex is showing her some
documents about spikes in overdose rares, we check back in on the
addict! She's preparing a picnic lunch for her kids, but pauses when
she notices that she's sweating way too much. It's withdrawl! She
tries to call someone for help and asks them to come over. Is it her
sponsor, or her old drug dealer? Whoever it is is probably going to
kill her, either way.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Aisha calls the team with the details!
Seven people have overdosed on heroin the day they got out of rehab.
The weird part? None of them were in rehab for heroin addiction!
That's good enough for Emily, who wants to fly the team out
immediately!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Oh, and that lady gets murdered by a
white guy. We see him open the front door with his bare hands, but
that probably won't come up later.</div>
<a name='more'></a><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
On the plane, the team gets some info
from Garcia - all of the victim went to different rehabs, so there's
no obvious link between them that could explain how the killer was
meeting them! I remember a John Oliver episode about an addiction
phone that recommended rehabs that the phone line owner ran. Could
that be the situation here, they all called the same number? Or were
seen by the same paramedics or medical professionals? I'm getting way
ahead of myself here. Let's wait for some clues!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Hey, Scott Winters is in this episode!
That's Dean Winters' brother from OZ!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Aisha and Daryl talk about some of the
victims, and also how long he's been clean. Five years, BTW. Aisha's
super awkward around him, in a way that is weird to see from a
psychopath. What does she need from this guy? Oh, and he mentioned
that he sponsored one of the people through a 12-step program, so
it's unlikely that the killer is the sponsor of all of the victims.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
At the morgue, JJ and Joe hear
something weird about the dead lady - they found no heroin of any
kind in her system! So what was she drugged with? They'll have to
keep testing to find out! Wait, was there no heroin in any of the
other people either? Or is this a big change in MO? Also, she had a
black light tattoo on her arm, but no other ink. Strange - was it
part of rehab?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
At the dead lady's house, Eric and Matt
find no signs that she was suicidal - and they're left with no leads
but the number she called at midnight before being murdered! Also all
of the fingerprints from all of the place the guy touched. At the
police station, Emily talks to the friends of the dead woman, who
point her towards the ex-boyfriend who got her hooked on meth in the
first place. Oh, and she apparently hated needles, which is enough
information for Emily to start calling this a homicide!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Then the show cuts to a counseling
session, where a guy is thrown out of rehab because he's not
committed enough for their tastes. Will he be killed, or will the
woman who sticks up for him be the victim?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Aisha and Daryl talk about how strange
it is that the victims weren't killed with heroin, but instead a
mystery drug. He confesses to cheating on a urine test one time, by
buying Chinese versions of drugs that don't show up on the tests!
This makes the team think that the killer is using synthetic Chinese
heroin that doesn't respond to the tests they perform!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
JJ then wins yet another Prentiss
Award, for this line about why the killer would be using strange fake
heroin:</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe width="320" height="266" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/k6cjRV1OGLE/0.jpg" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/k6cjRV1OGLE?feature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
No. A thousand times no. The opposite
of that is true. The killer has been going to pains to make all of
these look like unconnected overdoses. If he's used easily-available
opiates there'd be no reason to connect any of the crimes to one
another. By choosing to use strange untraceable drugs that the ME
finds mysterious, he's guaranteeing that the crimes will be
connected. This is the opposite of a forensic countermeasure.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Also, how bad must the LA ME be if he
didn't notice that seven different apparent opioid overdose victims
had zero opioids in their system? We've come a long way since the
days of Quincy, folks.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
The team talks motive for a moment.
Does the killer hat addicts, or is he an addict himself who, while
going through rehab found out he'd rather be addicted to murder! All
serial killers are murder addicts, Emily. This isn't worth
mentioning.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
At the house of guy who was thrown out
of rehab, guy talks to the killer - who remains off camera - about
how no one believes that he'll be able to get off drugs! So he thinks
of the killer as a counselor or friend. Interesting! Then he's
knocked out by some drugs in his coffee and the killer murders him.
The guy is too resilient to be injected, though, so the killer has to
suffocate him instead!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
JJ and Eric question the group leader
about why the new victim was let out of rehab. Before he can answer,
his boss, Scott Winters, shows up, and gives a speech about how much
contempt he has for junkies, and how some of them are so selfish and
awful that they're obviously going to wind up killing themselves.
Also, the guy owns 12 rehab clinics around the city, so he absolutely
could be the connection between all of the victims!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />Of course, if he was, Garcia should
have found it, since she already knows which rehab facilities each
person went to, and checking into those facilities would be the next
thing she would do.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Anyhoo, Scott is incredibly suspicious,
and demands that they come back with a warrant if they want to see
any of the business' files! Could he be the killer? If he's this
suspicious, probably not. Maybe the counselor did it? He's more
sympathetic, and the kind of person you'd call if you were in danger
of relapsing. And since he works for Scott, maybe he's spent time at
multiple clinics!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
JJ talks to the sympathetic woman, who
turns over the dead guy's journal, which she had for some reason! JJ
stuffs the journal under her shirt so that none of the clinic
employees will see it. I'm not sure why she does this - she is an FBI
agent and has nothing to hide. It's not like the woman asks her to
hide it because she'll get beaten up by the guards if they see her
snitching. She isn't a prisoner - this is a private treatment
facility.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
While working on the case Aisha has a
flashback to how happy her life was before Daryl was destroyed by
drug use! That poor lady. The reminisce about going to clubs with UV
stamps, and things get dark, because apparently Daryl beat her up one
time, and didn't remember it because of the drug use! No wonder she
left him! She talks about how hurt she was by his betrayal, and tells
him to shut up when he tries to apologize! Great way to treat an
addict, Aisha.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />Then again, he should have
apologized for all of that stuff years ago - supposedly this man went
all the way through recovery, and never made an effort to make amends
to the ex-wife who he treated horribly? He's not good at recovery!
Daryl then leaves to call his sponsor, who's hopefully not the
killer.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Okay, it turns out that Garcia is,
actually, terrible at her job. When looking into Scott, she finds
that he's a sleazebag ex-con who's rebranded himself as an addiction
support guru! Why is she bad at her job? Seven of the nine victims
were at one of his clinics. Damn it, Garcia, you were supposed to
check what the victims had in common yesterday! What have you been
doing all day?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
At rehab, Scott is angry that he can't
find the dead guy's journal, so he interrogates the sympathetic lady.
Before he can get too violent, the team shows up to bring him in for
questioning! Naturally, he tries to run for it, because he's been
committing crimes unrelated to the murders! They catch him with no
trouble.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
In jail, Scott explains that he has no
motive to kill. His entire business model is being so bad at rehab
that people have to keep coming back so that he can keep charging
them money! So yes, he's a terrible person. Everything he does is
legal, though, so... yay? They say that he ran away because he was
afraid of the team finding out how bad he is at running rehabs. Of
course, that's not a crime, so I'm not sure why he was running.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Aisha is busy reading through the dead
guy's journal, and thinks that she's discovered a clue to the
killer's identity! Then Daryl's wife turns up, so she doesn't bother
passing along that information to the team, even though time is of
the essence, and she can talk to this lady whenever!
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
The wife explains that Daryl never did
the apologies part to Aisha because his sponsor told him not to
bother. His sponsor is garbage. Apparently Daryl thought that by
helping her solve this case he could start making it up to Aisha!
Which is a nice thought, but apologize first, dude.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Going through all of the journals of
the dead people, the team finds recurrent language across all of them
that they believe references the killer! None of the people mention
the person who used that language with them by name, or even job
description, though, so it's just going to be a question of finding
an employee of the clinics who had contact with all of the clients!
Or perhaps an outside contractor, since apparently none of the staff
members worked at all of the clinics.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Scott refuses to help the, because he's
a terrible person! It's weird that Garcia can't track down everyone
he's paying. Are there cash-only people he contracts out to?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Luckily Aisha has a guess - if the
killer is giving his victims tattoos, it probably stands to reason
that he has tattoos of his own! And he does! He's got a tattoo for
each victim! We see that it's the nurse who escorted the latest
victim out of the room when he was being kicked out of rehab!</div>
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<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
We then cut to the killer escorting the
sympathetic lady out of rehab. Which means she's next on the chopping
block!</div>
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<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
The team quickly identifies a nurse who
was working at all of the clinics where people died, and who also
loves tattoos! Will they be able to find him in time? At the clinic,
the counselor tells them that the killer drove the sympathetic woman
home, so the team rushes over there and arrests him without incident!</div>
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<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Well, I say 'without incident', he
holds a syringe to his victim's throat and they have to talk him
down, but they didn't really have to - it takes a while to inject
someone with a syringe, so she's in almost no danger. They could
definitely shoot him with no risk to her, and they could probably
just kick him into submission without her having any trouble at all.</div>
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<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
THE END</div>
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<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
In jail, we get a look at the killer's
back, and it turns out that he's killed like 20 people!</div>
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<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Then there's one more scene with Aisha
and Daryl, because closure is important!</div>
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<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
1 - Was profiling in any way helpful in
solving the crime?</div>
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<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Not really! They found tattoos on the
victims, and they used that as an extrapolation to guess that the
killer had tattoos, but he also had a concrete connection to most of
the victims that was far more important in catching him.</div>
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<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
2 - Could the crime have been solved
just as easily using conventional police methods given the known
facts of the case?</div>
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<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I don't know why they didn't focus more
on the tattoos as a lead. Shouldn't they have been going around to
tattoo parlours, asking if people recognized the design, and seeing
who was super-into wing tattoos? Considering the fact that he went to
the same tattooist for all of them, he absolutely would have been
remembered right away.</div>
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<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
So, on a scale of 1 (Dirty Harry) to 10
(Tony Hill), How Useful Was Profiling in Solving the Crime?</div>
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<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
1/10 - I'd love to give them credit for
their insight about addiction, but the guy was just so ridiculously
easy to find. Also, it's super-weird that the team somehow didn't
notice that the victims all called the exact same number right before
they were murdered. That seems like too juicy a clue to have missed.</div>
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<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
FACT CHECK: This episode was based on a
segment from HBO's Last Week Tonight with John Oliver! Between the
scumbag Scott Winters played being a direct reference to the callous
owner of a bunch of rehab clinics, and a reference to 'equine
therapy', the inspiration was quite obvious! You can watch that
segment on YouTube by following this link -
<span style="color: navy;"><u><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWQiXv0sn9Y">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWQiXv0sn9Y</a></u></span> </div>
</div>
Vardulonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17821844774999740966noreply@blogger.com0