CSI Miami Episode 717

Is there any better reason to have a party than a divorce? Jordan from Scrubs doesn’t think so, so that’s exactly what she’s doing! The party takes a turn for the disturbing, though, when Jordan’s ex-hubby’s corpse comes falling through the roof of her gazebo in the middle of her fake divorce ceremony.

Then, in a two-second joke about media culture, the party guests hurry to snap a picture of the corpse.

Oh, Miami. You’re temperature is the warmest, but your people have the coldest hearts.

The team arrives on the scene presently, and Jordan’s prissy gay best friend fills them in on the skinny. The corpse ‘Roger’ was a nasty sory, who probably arranged the suicide to ruin Jordan’s big day. Of course, the team have already determined that the knot on the noose was tied by a right-handed person, and since Roger was a left, it can’t have been a suicide! The gazebo he was hanging from then collapses, damaging any possible evidence they might have collected. Not so badly that thy don’t find the piece of fishing line used to trigger the trap door, though!

It seems that prissy had a plan to drop an effigy of Roger at the end of the ceremony, but someone had replaced it with the corpse! They don’t discover this by just asking prissy, though. No, they head back to the lab and test the wire for skin flakes left on it.

Because, you know, that takes LESS time than just interviewing suspects.

Oh, look, it’s yet another episode full of drama about Horatio’s son and his terrible drunken mother, Elisabeth Berkeley. This time he’s arrested for speeding when trying to get her to a job interview, and Horatio has to bail him out yet again. This time it’s by getting Jr. a job down at the morgue. Oh, so that’s how he got the job. Huh. It’s also the episode where they started setting up that the new ME was stealing medication from corpses. Kind of a bad one to have missed, all-told.

Down in the lab british guy reveals that Roger was alive when dropped through the trap door – he’d been chloroformed and left up there! But since there’s no sign of drag marks on his clothes, he must have climbed up on top of the gazebo willingly! But why?

The teams uses the confiscated cameras to create a 3D model of the crime scene as it happened, proving that Jordan and Roger’s son was there at the party. Which wouldn’t be significant except that he then denies being there. He drops an inportant clue, though – it seems that no one knew what his dad’s mysterious job was.

What’s notable about this scene? Absolutely no one accuses him of murdering his dad. Which means he must be the killer. But why?

Callie and Frank head by Roger’s office, and discover that it’s rented by a man named Trent, and that neither of the two of them are spies. They go looking for Trent to ask him what he knows about the murder and, are you ready for the twist! They meet Trent’s wife (The Mom from the OC, or “TMOC”), who identifies a picture of Roger as Trent! That’s right, he’s leading a double life!

And in the second half of that double life, he’s got a daughter the exact same age as his son.

Yeah, I now see what the motive is, and it’s so icky that I feel like skipping the rest of the episode. So let’s just skim.

The wives find out about the double marriage and don’t take it well.

Except a red light camera proves the Jordan knew about the double marriage for months!

Science discovers homemade chloroform on the gazebo, and they test the families.

Science proves that daughter made the chloroform, and therefore must be the killer.

Time for the big reveal. Yup, the son and daughter met and have been dating, which, when they discovered they were related, disgusted them so much that they elected to kill their father.

You know what? I’m going to give the kids a pass on this one. They really shouldn’t be charged with anything.

Oh, and tuning up the ick to a level I hadn’t anticipated, daughter is preganant with a son/nephew or daughter/niece. And they wanted to kill the dad so that they could keep their monster-baby.

I’ll say it again, ick. But if ever there was a case for emotional distress leading to a murder, this is it.

The show ends on a happy note, though, with Horatio proving he’s a cool dad by not only getting his son a job, but a house to live in as well.

I’m sure this will make up for the fifteen years of absenteeism.

And now, False Accusation Theatre.

Wow, they just love accusing Jordan of murder, don’t they?

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