I’ve had my issues with Mythbusters in the past. Mostly little things, here and there – the unwillingess to ‘confirm’ things, the inclusion of ‘myths’ that fall under the category of ‘common knowledge’ (what’s that? A tongue will stick to frozen metal? Shocker!), but the thing that’s bothered me most about the show is the brutalization of pig carcasses.
Yeah, I know I’m squeamish. Which is odd, since I can watch the goriest movies imaginable without flinching, but still true. Show my a pig getting hit with a cannonball, and my stomach starts to flip.
Which is why the most recent episode of Mythbusters might have been the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen on non-surgery-related television.
Although there was some surgery.
(Warning – the photos accompanying this post are borderline at best, and vomit-inducing at worst. Just FYI)
The myth was actually a very interesting one – if the pressured air that protected a diver in an old-time diving suit was suddenly cut off, would their entire body be squished up into their helmet?
The answer, obviously, is no, because there’s not THAT much pressure at 300 feet, but I was curious to see just how disgusting the result of depressurization at that depth would be.
I was unprepared for what I would bear witness to on the way to testing the myth. I’m not talking about the small-scale test, which proved that yes, at 15 feet underwater a doll made of ballistics gel will have a section of its body pushed up into the dome head – although that was creepy in its own way. No, I’m talking about the human analogue that Tori built to put underwater.
A skeleton covered in pig flesh.
With a pig skin mask pulled tight over its face.
And then stuffed with fresh pig internal organs and filled with fake blood.
While I may not eat meat, I don’t consider myself a vegetarian, and have no particular political beliefs about the treatment of animals. Other than, you know, don’t set them on fire or kill them for fun, you know, serial killer stuff.
Nevertheless, I found something profoundly wrong with what the Mythbusters were doing this week. There’s got to be a synthetic human analogue out there better than a butchered pig that’s been crudely shaped and sewn into human form.
After seeing that monstrosity, the episode’s final reveal, that yes, blood and organs shoot right up into the helmet while the bones stay put, wasn’t able to get much of a rise out of me.
So now I’m going to end this post with a plea. Maybe I’m over-sensitive, and maybe I’m in the minority, but please, Mythbusters, lay off the pigs for a little while, okay?
Wait a minute... isn't this my 300th post! You're darn right it is! And I'm not celebrating it in any meaningful way!