31.7.11

Phantom Lady Doesn't Wear a Disguise of Any Kind

Clark Kent's glasses have always been the subject of merriment - could anyone really mistake Superman for a mild-mannered reporter with nothing more than a change of hairstyle, body language, voice, and eyewear?

Actually, you put all that together, and yeah, they probably could. I mean, really, just look at Christopher Reeve's portrayal-

But hey, I'm not here to talk about Superman, I'm here to discuss Phantom Lady, the superhero who put the least amount of effort into guarding her secret identity.

This is Phantom Lady! Her weapon? A flashlight that shines a cone of darkness! Yeah, there's a reason that you likely haven't heard of that particular facet of the character. You may have noticed that, even after stripping down to a scandalously-cut leotard and donning a cape, she wears no mask of any kind. She doesn't even put on a wig, Black Canary-style.

I suppose this wouldn't be such a problem if she were careful about who she associated with. After all, what are the odds that saboteurs, spies, and cheap thugs would run in the same circles as the city's most prominent debutante.

Unless, of course, they were looking to kidnap a Senator's daughter, which I'm almost certain happened to the character more than once.

Anyhow, let's take a look at her fundamental lack of care for personal safety in this story about a booby-trapped zeppelin.

Here she is, driving with her sometime boyfriend Don Border, agent of the state department. You'd imagine, seeing as they're romantically linked, he would have some familiarity with her appearance. Keep that in mind as we move further along in the story.

While her boyfriend leaves on the trapped Zeppelin, Phantom Lady finds the saboteurs, gets knocked out, and is then left alone (and thankfully unbondaged) in a locked room. She quickly escapes using a hairpin, and then steals the non-functioning plane that the villains had hoped to make their getaway in. (Note - this was Phantom Lady's other heroic trait, a complete mastery of the mechanics and piloting of all aircraft)

She then flies towards the Zeppelin and, after using the 'robot pilot' to maintain her speed alongside, she jumps onto a rope ladder. Just what becomes of the plane as it goes flying off into the distance is left unexplored. Now we come to the whole point of this post, two panels that make no sense of any kind-

One hour ago Don was sitting next to a woman who looked exactly like Phantom Lady, right down to her hairstyle. Now here they are, face to face, and he doesn't have the slightest idea that he's looking at his girlfriend.

This, right here? This is a situation actually deserving of all the hyperbole people reserve for Clark Kent/Superman.

Coming Soon to Castle Vardulon- The adventures of “The Mouthpiece”, the character who put the second-least amount of effort into hiding his secret identity!

1 comment:

Dewey Oxburger said...

Phantom Lady didn't need a disguise. I mean let's be honest any one running into her never ever looked up high enough to see her face with those heaving distractions just out there to enjoy.