Day 21: Indiana Jones and the Paved Jungle
I think it's fair to say that the Truck Chase from Raiders of the Lost Ark ranks fairly high among the all-time great film action sequences. It's so wonderful that, among Last Crusade's other Requel-y tendencies, attempts to copy it shamelessly, replacing the truck from Raiders with a Tank in an attempt to 'up the ante'. The attempt failed, but it was still a thrilling sequence.
So when Indiana Jones and family found themselves tied up in the back of another covered Army truck, I was interested to see what kind of spin they were going to put on the sequence this time around.
19.7.08
While I'm on the subject of Batman-
After my initial negative feelings towards the film yesterday, today I kept wondering if I was being too hard on it, and having second thoughts about my 'review' of Heath Ledger's performance.
Then I had a sudden realization - what I was doing was what all those die-hard Star Wars fans had done right after Revenge of the Sith - I was talking myself into liking the film more than I did. I was rewriting my memories so that the Joker had been incredible, rather than awful. Ledger was quickly fading away (not a surprise, given how much he underplayed it), and being replaced with an imagined version of a better performance by another actor. Adrien Brody or Guy Pearce or perhaps even Johnny Depp. Someone who could have brought the Joker's madness to life the way it deserved to be, rather than the mumbly mess we got. Seriously, I can now close my eyes and picture a great scene between the Joker and Kieth Szarbajaka (I hope that's how it's spelled), rather than a bad one - and it's entirely the bad 'homeless child molester' Joker portrayal that ruined the moment.
Then I had a sudden realization - what I was doing was what all those die-hard Star Wars fans had done right after Revenge of the Sith - I was talking myself into liking the film more than I did. I was rewriting my memories so that the Joker had been incredible, rather than awful. Ledger was quickly fading away (not a surprise, given how much he underplayed it), and being replaced with an imagined version of a better performance by another actor. Adrien Brody or Guy Pearce or perhaps even Johnny Depp. Someone who could have brought the Joker's madness to life the way it deserved to be, rather than the mumbly mess we got. Seriously, I can now close my eyes and picture a great scene between the Joker and Kieth Szarbajaka (I hope that's how it's spelled), rather than a bad one - and it's entirely the bad 'homeless child molester' Joker portrayal that ruined the moment.
Oh, and one other Batman-related thing
After watching Batman vs. Dracula, the animated film, I came up with a simple math equation that allows people to determine whether or not they had made a good Batman film. It's not a universal rule, obviously, and you could misuse it, but I think there's some truth to it, and it should have been applied to The Dark Knight.
THE BATMAN QUALITY FORMULA
(# batarangs in the film)x(# of explosions in the film)x(# of recognizable bat-villains in the film)x(# of references to the film Jerry Maguire). If the resulting number is anything but 0, you haven't made a good Batman movie.
I haven't crunched the numbers yet, but The Dark Knight's number, sadly, is not 0.
THE BATMAN QUALITY FORMULA
(# batarangs in the film)x(# of explosions in the film)x(# of recognizable bat-villains in the film)x(# of references to the film Jerry Maguire). If the resulting number is anything but 0, you haven't made a good Batman movie.
I haven't crunched the numbers yet, but The Dark Knight's number, sadly, is not 0.
I Love Batman (The Joker, not so much)
I know I generally talk about Indiana Jones, and I'll get back to that soon, but I wanted to pause and react to The Dark Knight, which I've just returned from seeing.
My review: Loved it, with one major reservation.
That reservation? I can't believe how terrible Heath Ledger's Joker was. Just absolutely so wrong for the movie that every time he showed up on screen it took me right out of the experience.
My review: Loved it, with one major reservation.
That reservation? I can't believe how terrible Heath Ledger's Joker was. Just absolutely so wrong for the movie that every time he showed up on screen it took me right out of the experience.
11.7.08
I Hate Indiana Jones: Day 20
Day 20: Indiana Jones and the Underestimated Audience
The filmmakers responsible for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull have contempt for their audience.
I know that's kind of been the overall theme of these posts, since no one could offer such a shoddy half-baked product to an audience without feeling some measure of contempt for them. There's vastly different levels of that contempt though, from the minor disinterest in getting period details correct, to total regard for maintaining any sort of realism in re: Atomic Fridges. I understand why they put so little work into the film, though. After all, how could the filmmakers possible show any respect for their audience when they so clearly believe them to be morons?
The filmmakers responsible for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull have contempt for their audience.
I know that's kind of been the overall theme of these posts, since no one could offer such a shoddy half-baked product to an audience without feeling some measure of contempt for them. There's vastly different levels of that contempt though, from the minor disinterest in getting period details correct, to total regard for maintaining any sort of realism in re: Atomic Fridges. I understand why they put so little work into the film, though. After all, how could the filmmakers possible show any respect for their audience when they so clearly believe them to be morons?
I Hate Indiana Jones: Day 19
Day 19: Indiana Jones and the Superfluous Sidekick (Part 2)
I'm a fan of John Hurt. Obviously as a lover of sci-fi, the actor who played Kane will always hold a special place in my heart. Beyond that single, iconic performance, however, is an entire lifetime of wonderful roles. He was the Elephant Man, The Storyteller, Giles De'Ath, he had memorable cameos in two of the best Westerns of the past fifteen years, Dead Man and The Proposition, and who could forget his career-defining performance as Kane in Spaceballs?
This film is beneath him.
I'm a fan of John Hurt. Obviously as a lover of sci-fi, the actor who played Kane will always hold a special place in my heart. Beyond that single, iconic performance, however, is an entire lifetime of wonderful roles. He was the Elephant Man, The Storyteller, Giles De'Ath, he had memorable cameos in two of the best Westerns of the past fifteen years, Dead Man and The Proposition, and who could forget his career-defining performance as Kane in Spaceballs?
This film is beneath him.
9.7.08
I Hate Indiana Jones: Day 18
Day 18: Indiana Jones and the Incredibly Cheap Prop
There's a common failure, when creating props, to consider the realistic properties of the things being recreated in prop form. People carry rubber guns that weigh a fraction of what a real gun does, they can't even be bothered to fill a fake coffee cup with water to keep actors from waving their arms around unrealistically. It's yet another example of filmmakers just not paying enough attention to the movies that they're making, and it goes a long way to destroying the illusion of reality that a film attempts to create.
There's a common failure, when creating props, to consider the realistic properties of the things being recreated in prop form. People carry rubber guns that weigh a fraction of what a real gun does, they can't even be bothered to fill a fake coffee cup with water to keep actors from waving their arms around unrealistically. It's yet another example of filmmakers just not paying enough attention to the movies that they're making, and it goes a long way to destroying the illusion of reality that a film attempts to create.
8.7.08
I Hate Indiana Jones: Day 17
Day 17: Indiana Jones and the Maybe Magnetic Skull
As if Cate's spotty psychic powers weren't bad enough, there's another intermittently present supernatural power in the film, the Crystal Skull's SuperMagnetism.
The audience is first introduced to the Crystal Skull's amazing power right at the beginning of the film when, faced with the prospect of searching through the entire gigantic warehouse for the alien corpse from the Roswell crash, Indy remembers that the 'item' is incredibly magnetic. So magnetic, in fact, that he's able to toss gunpowder into the air, where the trace metals pull it in the direction of the corpse. When he gets close enough, Indy switches to ball bearings, which he throws into a row of crates, assured that the magnetic corpse will pull them in, revealing in which crate the body is contained.
As if Cate's spotty psychic powers weren't bad enough, there's another intermittently present supernatural power in the film, the Crystal Skull's SuperMagnetism.
The audience is first introduced to the Crystal Skull's amazing power right at the beginning of the film when, faced with the prospect of searching through the entire gigantic warehouse for the alien corpse from the Roswell crash, Indy remembers that the 'item' is incredibly magnetic. So magnetic, in fact, that he's able to toss gunpowder into the air, where the trace metals pull it in the direction of the corpse. When he gets close enough, Indy switches to ball bearings, which he throws into a row of crates, assured that the magnetic corpse will pull them in, revealing in which crate the body is contained.
I Hate Indiana Jones: Day 16
Day 16: Indiana Jones and the Possible Psychic
The anonymous poster from yesterday brought up an interesting point about the film's various failures in re: The Villain. It's not just the introduction they botched, it's the entire character. Specifically, the special ability her entire character is based around. For the entire film, I kept wondering 'Wait, is she supposed to be actually psychic, or isn't she?' After the initial failure, I assumed that her supposed 'abilities' were going to be played for laughs, as she went on to not read other people's minds at key moments.
The anonymous poster from yesterday brought up an interesting point about the film's various failures in re: The Villain. It's not just the introduction they botched, it's the entire character. Specifically, the special ability her entire character is based around. For the entire film, I kept wondering 'Wait, is she supposed to be actually psychic, or isn't she?' After the initial failure, I assumed that her supposed 'abilities' were going to be played for laughs, as she went on to not read other people's minds at key moments.
7.7.08
I Hate Indiana Jones: Day 15
Day 15: Indiana Jones and the Botched Villain Introduction
A villain's introduction is incredibly important. By definition it's the first time the audience meets them, and the impression created will stay with the audience for the rest of the film, and, if it's good enough, far beyond. Who can forget the first time they saw Darth Vader? The clean white hallways suddenly poisoned by the addition of Vader, darkening the world around him as he strides through it.
By the way, and this is wholly unrelated, watch the first Star Wars movie again - Darth is clearly a name, not a title. No matter how hard he tries, George Lucas can't write his way around that one.
A villain's introduction is incredibly important. By definition it's the first time the audience meets them, and the impression created will stay with the audience for the rest of the film, and, if it's good enough, far beyond. Who can forget the first time they saw Darth Vader? The clean white hallways suddenly poisoned by the addition of Vader, darkening the world around him as he strides through it.
By the way, and this is wholly unrelated, watch the first Star Wars movie again - Darth is clearly a name, not a title. No matter how hard he tries, George Lucas can't write his way around that one.
5.7.08
I Hate Indiana Jones: Day 14
Day 14: Indiana Jones and the Happy Days
One of the things I've always loved about the Indiana Jones films is that they never get too wrapped up in their setting. Other than the presence of Nazis as the villains, there's nothing in the film Raiders of the Lost Ark that establishes it as being set in any particular time. The cars are old, and the planes are old, but there's no other nods to the fact that the films are taking place in the past. Although the way the characters speak may actually be anachronistic, it doesn't have the appearance of an error. Everyone speaks in such a clear, unaffected manner that the audience accepts it as universal communication. These are the kinds of things that people have always said to one another, and the removal of both current and historic colloquialisms give the impression of 'translated' dialogue. Perhaps this isn't the exact way those characters would have talked had they existed at that time, but we assume that their speech has been translated for our benefit, the way people don't speak Ancient Welsh in movies about King Arthur.
One of the things I've always loved about the Indiana Jones films is that they never get too wrapped up in their setting. Other than the presence of Nazis as the villains, there's nothing in the film Raiders of the Lost Ark that establishes it as being set in any particular time. The cars are old, and the planes are old, but there's no other nods to the fact that the films are taking place in the past. Although the way the characters speak may actually be anachronistic, it doesn't have the appearance of an error. Everyone speaks in such a clear, unaffected manner that the audience accepts it as universal communication. These are the kinds of things that people have always said to one another, and the removal of both current and historic colloquialisms give the impression of 'translated' dialogue. Perhaps this isn't the exact way those characters would have talked had they existed at that time, but we assume that their speech has been translated for our benefit, the way people don't speak Ancient Welsh in movies about King Arthur.
I Hate Indiana Jones: Day 13
Day 13: Indiana Jones and the All-Star Cast
All-star casts offer both strengths and weaknesses to a film. The various actors' appropriateness and ability for the part they've been cast in aside, the general idea behind the all-star cast is that each celebrity brings their own fanbase to the theatre, multiplying a film's appeal with each additional name added to the roster of star. The drawback to this is that by casting celebrities all the key (and most of the secondary) parts, the entire concept of suspension of disbelief is mostly thrown out of the window. If the audience is constantly perched at the edge of their seat, waiting to see which part a given celebrity will play, they're not thinking about the plot. If they're constantly thinking to themselves "Hey, isn't that ******", and elbowing their neighbor to register the recognition, they're not being carried away by the story.
All-star casts offer both strengths and weaknesses to a film. The various actors' appropriateness and ability for the part they've been cast in aside, the general idea behind the all-star cast is that each celebrity brings their own fanbase to the theatre, multiplying a film's appeal with each additional name added to the roster of star. The drawback to this is that by casting celebrities all the key (and most of the secondary) parts, the entire concept of suspension of disbelief is mostly thrown out of the window. If the audience is constantly perched at the edge of their seat, waiting to see which part a given celebrity will play, they're not thinking about the plot. If they're constantly thinking to themselves "Hey, isn't that ******", and elbowing their neighbor to register the recognition, they're not being carried away by the story.
24.6.08
I Hate Indiana Jones: Day 12
Day 12: Indiana Jones and the Atomic Fridge
This one is so screamingly obvious that I can't believe it made it into the film. Profoundly stupid doesn't begin to describe it. I didn't see Crystal Skull the day it came out, I waited a few days and caught it on the next Tuesday. In that five day period, nearly everyone I know saw the film, and each one, talking to me afterwards, was suspiciously cagey about giving me details about the film. In retrospect, it seems they were trying to protect me from going in with any preconceptions that may lead me to be too harsh in condemning the film.
The most detailed information I received was from my colleague Mer-Man while discussing one of the most entertaining parts of the first three Indiana Jones films, just how viciously beat up Harrison Ford gets before managing to pull through and succeed. He maintained that no matter how severe those beatings were, Indiana Jones could have plausibly survived them, and that his survival tagged him not as some sort of superhuman, but just a man with an unusual measure of determination. "This time," Mer-Man explained, "it seemed like the filmmakers were totally unaware of just how little it takes to kill a human being."
This one is so screamingly obvious that I can't believe it made it into the film. Profoundly stupid doesn't begin to describe it. I didn't see Crystal Skull the day it came out, I waited a few days and caught it on the next Tuesday. In that five day period, nearly everyone I know saw the film, and each one, talking to me afterwards, was suspiciously cagey about giving me details about the film. In retrospect, it seems they were trying to protect me from going in with any preconceptions that may lead me to be too harsh in condemning the film.
The most detailed information I received was from my colleague Mer-Man while discussing one of the most entertaining parts of the first three Indiana Jones films, just how viciously beat up Harrison Ford gets before managing to pull through and succeed. He maintained that no matter how severe those beatings were, Indiana Jones could have plausibly survived them, and that his survival tagged him not as some sort of superhuman, but just a man with an unusual measure of determination. "This time," Mer-Man explained, "it seemed like the filmmakers were totally unaware of just how little it takes to kill a human being."
I Hate Indiana Jones: Day 11
Day 11: Indiana Jones and the Anachronistic Dialogue
Making movies is hard, demanding work. Given that there are dozens of people running off in all directions at any given moment, the fact that they manage to put together anything resembling a work of art can be considered something of a minor miracle.
Mounting a period piece is an even more daunting prospect, and filmmaking mistakes are to be expected, and should be forgiven so long as they're not egregious. Rounding up period props is always difficult, so if a certain make of car wasn't available until a few years after the film was set, or if a beer can uses the modern logo rather than the classic one, it can be overlooked so long as it doesn't affect the overall setting.
Making movies is hard, demanding work. Given that there are dozens of people running off in all directions at any given moment, the fact that they manage to put together anything resembling a work of art can be considered something of a minor miracle.
Mounting a period piece is an even more daunting prospect, and filmmaking mistakes are to be expected, and should be forgiven so long as they're not egregious. Rounding up period props is always difficult, so if a certain make of car wasn't available until a few years after the film was set, or if a beer can uses the modern logo rather than the classic one, it can be overlooked so long as it doesn't affect the overall setting.
23.6.08
I Hate Indiana Jones: Day 10
Day 10: Indiana Jones and the Two-Dimensional World
Despite the best efforts of Friday the 13th, Jaws, and, to a far, far, lesser extent, Freddy's Dead, films still reside solely in the realm of two dimensionality. No matter how well-composed or vivid an image might be, the viewer only ever experiences it as a flat plane. This phenomenon gives the filmmakers a wide set of tools to play with in tricking the audience. Without two dimensionality, there would be no forced perspective, background matting, or rear-projection, and the dark past of pre-computer effects would have been a very different place.
With this ability comes the temptation for filmmakers to abuse the goodwill of their audience and use two-dimensionality to manipulate what they see in an unrealistic and unfair fashion - by attributing the inability to see in three dimensions to the characters within the film. While not as dire a practice as the similar filmmaking failure, offscreen invisibility, two-dimensional reality is still the hallmark of lazy direction and editing.
Despite the best efforts of Friday the 13th, Jaws, and, to a far, far, lesser extent, Freddy's Dead, films still reside solely in the realm of two dimensionality. No matter how well-composed or vivid an image might be, the viewer only ever experiences it as a flat plane. This phenomenon gives the filmmakers a wide set of tools to play with in tricking the audience. Without two dimensionality, there would be no forced perspective, background matting, or rear-projection, and the dark past of pre-computer effects would have been a very different place.
With this ability comes the temptation for filmmakers to abuse the goodwill of their audience and use two-dimensionality to manipulate what they see in an unrealistic and unfair fashion - by attributing the inability to see in three dimensions to the characters within the film. While not as dire a practice as the similar filmmaking failure, offscreen invisibility, two-dimensional reality is still the hallmark of lazy direction and editing.
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