Has Lucky given up?

I'm sure we're all familiar with Lucky, the uncreatively-named mascot for Lucky Charms cereal, and his sisiphyisan attempts to keep his lucky charms away from the grubby mitts of ill-mannered children.

Well, it seems that years of toil and struggle have finally gotten the better of him, because on the front of a recent cereal box, he gives every indication that he no longer sees Lucky Charms as a precious treasure that must be protected.

Now he simply flings them haphazardly in the direction of literally anyone walking by the grocery store shelf. “You want Lucky Charms so bad? Well just take them, then. I hope you choke on it.”

Are you happy, children? You've driven the leprechaun mad.

(Wait - did those kids try to run Lucky off a cliff? That's fairly hardcore.)

Slushie Bear Hates You. Or Does He? Yes, He Does.

This is Slushie Bear. You may recognize him, as he lives on the sides of various buildings, as well as in window displays. Rushing to capture a picture of him for a photo essay I'd planned entitled “Slushie Bear Hates You”, I quickly discovered the logical flaw inherent in attempting to take a picture of him in the daylight, and outside of his habitat.

Entering the video store in which he resides, I captured some improved photos of him. It was only then, when gazing at an unobstructed view of the creature, that I realized something.

It's not simply that Slushie Bear Hates You. It's that Slushie Bear intends to molest you.

Thank god he's held tight behind those bars, lest some manner of tragedy ensue for the poor people forced to work in the vicinity of such a monster.