The Following Didn't Get Off to a Great Start

There was plenty to object to in the first episode of 'The Following', so I'll make a brief list before getting to my point:

1 - The producers don't know the difference between a 'Bed and Breakfast' and an 'Inn', so when this huge mansion is referred to by the first name-

  A laugh can't help but be elicited.

2 - At the beginning of the story a woman brandishes a giant icepick in a room full of cops-

None of whom can be bothered to shoot, tase, or tackle her before she stabs herself in the face.

3 - The serial killer's final victim from his original spate of killings tells a heart-wrenching story of how her torture was so monstrously painful and extended that at one point she grabbed the knife that was being used on her and tried to kill herself more quickly. Then, later in the episode, when we see the attack, we discover that between the killer lunging at her and Kevin Bacon rescuing her, roughly ten seconds elapsed.

4 - Despite the fact that the cops have a list of everyone who went to visit the serial killer in the past few years, they don't bother checking that list against anyone in the lives of the two women that the serial killer would likely be targeting. As a consequence, two different people wind up being kidnapped by members of the killer's cult.

5 - At the end of the episode one of the killer's cult members-

Shows up at a sorority house, presumably planning to kill everyone inside, Richard Speck-style. The sorority girl isn't on high alert because - despite the fact that this man is among the three cult members whose faces and names the police know - the authorities haven't let the public know that there are more killers out there, looking to rack up as many victims as possible for their master.

So there's a lot of stupid nonsense in this first episode, but among all of the cliched idiocy, a valuable lesson can also be learned by paying attention to the story of the serial killer's final victim-

Seen here testifying at the killer's trial.

Who gets murdered because A: she decided to keep living in the area she was almost serial killed in; B: no one ever told her how to hide from someone, so she just sat in her house, waiting to be killed. Yes, there were cops outside, but the killer escaped from a maximum security prison, what trouble could a couple of cops pose?

So, to close, here's a valuable lesson to anyone who might find themselves in something like the victim's position - it's not that hard to hide, especially if you don't have to be gone for more than a few weeks. Sit down, take a pen and paper, and make a list of everywhere you went in the past month, and all of the people you called. Then, go somewhere that isn't on the first half of that list, and don't contact anyone on the second half.

No one will ever be able to find you. It's great.

One thing, though - don't go to a family property. That's just a terrible idea that people have in fiction which never works. "Oh, the killer's after me? I'll just run to my parents' cabin - after all, there's no way I could be found in a location that's linked to me through easily searchable public records, right?"

Oh, and if the US Marshal's service offers to take you to a safehouse, you should probably go. Just as a rule.


Bedazzled Crone said...

and it is going to get old very quickly - that was my immediate thought when I got to the end

although I can see the Count getting addicted to the idiocy of the writing, the plot holes and the stupid things that people do - just as he can't stop watching and writing about "Criminal Minds"

busterggi said...

Your reviews leave me wondering - IS 'Finding Bigfoot' the most intelligent show now on.