The Graves isn't as funny as Darkplace

Well, it's (DAY YOU SET THIS TO PREPOST) yet again, which means it's time to take a look at just what Tony Todd’s inestimable gifts are being wasted on this week!

There’s maybe ninety seconds where The Graves feels like it’s going to work. The opening of the film is so hacky, obvious, perfunctory, and lifeless that it seems like the writer/director (Brian ‘Garth Marenghi’ Pulido) is making an incisive parody of the killbilly genre.

A vacationing family (mom, dad, and baby) head out to a blacksmithing display being performed by what’s obviously a serial killer. I mean, we don’t see him or anything, but look at his hair, and trust me when I tell you that his voice is just ridiculous.

Also. A replica pioneer village in the middle of nowhere is completely where you would take your uncomprehending baby. That’s utterly plausible.

Tony Todd is too Good for This theatre: Are You Scared 2

Watching Tony Todd's recent turn on 24 made me realize that I haven't written much about the Candyman. I consider Tony Todd to be one of the finest actors of his generation, perhaps the finest to be working in genre film today. He's one of the only actors who can motivate me to watch a film solely by virtue of his presence in it, which inspired me to honor him here at the castle. By watching and reviewing the many, many direct to video movies that Tony Todd is too good to be starring in. So, with no further ado, I present:

Tony Todd is Too Good For This!
Theatre!

24 Deathcount Part 7: Episodes 1-4

While I might not have mentioned it here previously, one of the things I'm most passionate about is the television show 24 - not because of its strange, schizophrenic politics or ludicrous plot twists, but rather because Jack 24 is the only character on television that I can count on to shoot a whole lot of people through the course of a season.

Every year, I judge the relative success or failure of 24's season by two criteria: the number of people Jack kills, and the number of geek-friendly guest stars the producers cast in minor and major parts.

This season is off to a middling start - in four episodes, Jack has only killed two people, mercenaries that he cooperatively shot with an FBI agent. For a while it looked like he had been responsible for another death - he used a third Merc as a human shield to defend against bullets, but then the guy turned up alive later on.